I want oneitis

[Hunterchilla]

ever since i spent so much time getting over this girl, who I was completely obsessed about, every other girl since then have been just hook ups and the relationships ive had were " not really deep". Not that its the girls fault or anything actually these girls really liked me. but ever since one-itis I cant really establish any real emotional intimacy.

My case of one-itis was like I would always think about her, and always fantasize of being with her, how we were perfect for each other etc, etc, now I cant experience those feelings that I had for her with anyone else, because i guess some kinda pyschological block.

Anyone ever overcome this? know what im talking about? thx.

 

[Finch]

Maybe you're not happy with the girls you're hooking up with. Do you feel like you're above them.. I mean in the sense that you could maybe do better?

Also.. sometimes oneitis takes time to develop. It takes time to get to know someone and have them "grow" on you, for lack of a better word.

I'm with you in that I need a deep connection with someone in order to have a relationship with them. Maybe oneitis isn't the best word for it, but you have to have strong feelings for someone to stay interested in the relationship and for it to grow.

 

[Apollo_Jordan]

dude its cause u still have oneitus with the other girl even though u arent with her.
solution: keep going out and meeting girls - you will meet a quality one soon (maybe one in 20 are quality but you shouldnt have a problem macking that)
once u get a new oneitus quickly go find some other quality girls and then u will have two or threeitus..cooL!

 

[Docs]

Fitch is correct, Apollo is off the mark.

I totally understand your situation. I had a rough one-itis session of 2 years, went out for amonth and a half to find she cheated on me. That put me on disaster route 99 for 8 months.

I'm just starting to feel those longing feelings for one of my best girl--friends nowadays. After a few more weeks, I should be able to put my finger on how she feels too.

Anyways, what you have to do, is you have to probe. Hookups/ONS/Phone Tag/Flaking, it does nothing for you. What you need to do is take a worthy girl out and enjoy her company and get to know her. Even if she's not the hottest of the bunch, you may soon relieze the happiness you may bring yourself when you find you're falling for her, and she might very well to.

Now to finish this, only if the girls you've met are fairly...unworthy, THEN apollo's advice can play. Examine what you have, before you find more prospects. Sometimes the girl that makes you feel the best, is the one you could be looking at.

Of course, don't stop meeting girls, but look for something inside of each one, instead of flying past in a desperate search.

 

[Hunterchilla]

thanks for your responses. I dont still have the one-itis but im saying i havent been able to establish a strong emotional connection between ANY of the girls that ive been seeing.

Now I can understand if im not seeing the right girls but this girl that I was seeing was incredibly cute, had the the same type of personality that id want but " that feeling " just wasnt there.

Then another girl i cant establish anything with her she is just a fbuddy. And pretty much every girl that I meet I just hook up with and never get anything emotional.

its not because of me, or because i havent met the right one, but i think pyschologically maybe im ruined from my self. I mean of course ill continue trying but I dont understand why im not getting this feeling.

all through my life, ive always had a girl I reallly thought about, wether it was a crush in class, or a girl i was going out with, i always had that feeling but now I dont have it anymore. and its not like I JUST HAVE IT NOW ive had it for about a year and a half. Maybe I just have intimacy issues

 

[Docs]

Lazy Formatting...

Now I can understand if im not seeing the right girls but this girl that I was seeing was incredibly cute, had the the same type of personality that id want but " that feeling " just wasnt there.
Keep Looking

Then another girl i cant establish anything with her she is just a fbuddy. And pretty much every girl that I meet I just hook up with and never get anything emotional.
Try to snowball the emotion. DEVELOP an interest in her, sex isn't going to get it. You have to play friend a bit. Some of the best relationships are those from friends.

its not because of me, or because i havent met the right one, but i think pyschologically maybe im ruined from my self. I mean of course ill continue trying but I dont understand why im not getting this feeling.
Breaking up can do that. I know my breakup really fucked me up. Could be anything really...

all through my life, ive always had a girl I reallly thought about, wether it was a crush in class, or a girl i was going out with, i always had that feeling but now I dont have it anymore. and its not like I JUST HAVE IT NOW ive had it for about a year and a half. Maybe I just have intimacy issues
Getting older can reduce those feelings you once had. You just have to try spot-connecting, learn to ask questions and hopefully you'll find the girl that will spark your interest.