"i want a guy that is nice to everyone not just me" BS

[00Kevin]

ok i've been going out with a girl now for over a month. She has shown high interest for a while, which is good, but recent events are making me have second thoughts about her. She is the type of girl that doesn't say anything when something is bothering her. (i'm totally not used to this) I usually have to ask her what is on her mind.

She told me that there is a lot that she likes about me but there are a few things that are bothering her. She didn't like the fact that i don't talk to my family about her. She said that she shouldn't have to ask to meet them. I thought that was stupid so i told her that i'm a very private person even towards my family. I can't belive that she would be bothered by such a thing. I haven't meet her parents and we have only been going out for about a month. This is just a stupid thing to be worried about. I think that she wants to know more about me because i'm too much of a mystry to her. I think it should stay that way. There is no way in hell i'm going to introduce her to my family if i don't even know if she is worth it or not.


The second thing she said was that she thought i was stand-offish to strangers. She semes to think that i should be nice to people all the time even when i'm tired. I think that is just stupid and unrealistic. Why do girls want guys to be nice to everyone? I'm nice to her and i give her the utmost respect.

The one thing i'm starting to really hate about a lot of girls is their "be nice to everyone bullcrap". I don't know how many times i've heard a girl say, "i want a guy that is nice to everyone not just me" BS

how does a guy counter this? any suggestions?

i think i should just stand my ground on this and tell her that i'm not nice to everyone and i DON"T f**ken want to be.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Dude, don't introduce her to your family or definitely not parents - that is not for her to decide, but for you to deterrmine if ever. Girls try to give you a guilt trip, as if they are so worthy to be honored by your parents - then "this means you love me".

Dude - girls want a guy that can relate to others at a decent and respectable level and one who doesn't come off as confrontational with others - this is what 'nice' means. You don't have to be 'eat shyt and grin' nice.

 

[Snoopy]

Personality.

Personality is what it's all about. I've found that girls are attracted to a guy who is the outgoing center of attention (uhh no **** right) Most girls want to perceive the guy their dating as this ideal spotlit guy. However every guy is more attractive when he acts naturally, so if it is unnatural for you to be the outgoing, friendly center of attention then you definitely shouldn't become an actor. (We all know at least one obvious fake-nice person.) If I were you I would tell her that being nice to everyone isn't your personality, and that being nicer would be not being yourself. I've never got this one, thought I have been asked why I never introduced a girl to my family. (She never did end up meeting them either) Some people are more private than others. Any girl who can't accept a guy isn't right for that guy anyway. But I wouldn't let it bother you man, who cares! Girls have been tryin to change the ways of men since we were walking upright, has it worked yet? (well maybe a little) But it shouldn't work! Right!? Lets just listen to pook and be a man! And not just A man, be your own man!

 

[00Kevin]

well I don't have a problem being out going and friendly i just get ticked off by stupid people. For example, last night i took my girl to the movies. After buying tickets, I went to buy pop corn and drinks. The order came to 12.06. I put a 20 on the counter and the guy didn't see it. He then asked me again for the 12.06 so i pushed it forward a bit. He failed to see it for the second time and i became rather annoyed. I pointed at the 20 in a condescending manner and said politely, "yes the order is 12.06 and I gave you a 20".

My girl didn't like that and afterwards she said that she felt sorry for him and that I was rude. she made a big deal out of it.

 

[ManOMan]

dude it sounds like this girl found someone she likes and is trying to shape you into the person she wants you to be.

this is a major RED FLAG for me. because she will either keep trying to reform you to be her puppy dog, or leave you when the bigger better deal comes along.

Damn, I hate to say Next, but this girl sounds like she can make your life hell, and make you feel bad about yourself

 

[00Kevin]

Well today she called me up and she was felt bad about what she said. I left her bed to go home at 4:00 am last night after a chat with her about what was bothering her. She said that she didn't want to go far last night because the family issue and my rude behavior was bothering her.

I told her that i'm not nice to people all the time and that is just the way i am. After standing my ground and being very cut and dry about the whole issue we almost broke up. I told her that i didn't want a girl that was judgemental. I was totally about to just move on and start dating another girl on my list. She said that would make her sad. When I asked her if she could be friends and not fool around. She actually, suggested that we could be friends with benefits. But we talked a little more things are back to normal.

I'm just going to play it like nothing happened for now and see where things go.

 

[retrievher]

She sounds like she's getting ready to reel you in - or spit you out.

Girls like guys who are nice to waiters and such, because they feel like if you ever get bored with them, or if they do something stupid you're not gonna become a psycho and start beating them. Also it appeals to them that they aren't embarrased- ever.

If they become the center of attention in a bad way it bursts the bubble of perfection that they are all trying to achieve - at least in public.

its sounds like she wants to meet your family to ascertain what kind of standing your folks have in the community, like if you met for lunch at "the club" or "the diner", hence the open opinion on being friends with benefits, since she can't check out the folks( ie $$$ or connections=comfort), she is keeping her options open to go out with other guys and go for the brass ring.

 

[Eileen]

Re: Personality.

Originally posted by Snoopy
Most girls want to perceive the guy their dating as this ideal spotlit guy.

Not true. We just don't want him to embarrass us in public.

Even I don't understand women like this one. They are out there. I do know that. The ones who expect you're a mind reader and that all relationships follow the same patterns all the time. You meet, you date, you meet his parents ... it's a crock.

It sounds to me like she's got some growing up to do. How old is this one?

(I'd have done similar or worse in your situation at the theatre.)

 

[00Kevin]

Re: Re: Personality.

Originally posted by Eileen
Not true. We just don't want him to embarrass us in public.

Even I don't understand women like this one. They are out there. I do know that. The ones who expect you're a mind reader and that all relationships follow the same patterns all the time. You meet, you date, you meet his parents ... it's a crock.

It sounds to me like she's got some growing up to do. How old is this one?

(I'd have done similar or worse in your situation at the theatre.)

She is 28. I think she needs to grow up a bit also. Sometimes i think she is living in a fairy tale. Her family is rich and mine isn't.
She told me that I have an edge to me that bothers her. I told her that I do have an edge and that it is my strength. I'm not afraid to speak my mind about something and I have little patience for fake or stupid people.

If a girl is afraid that her guy will embarrass her in public the guy should just next her.

 

[retrievher]

I don't think you should next her because of that, she has probably always been in a sort of privileged rigid environment and is hearing the wedding alarm ticking at 28.

Who knows if the guy at the theatre was just a moron or tired or whatever, the reaction you had to that interplay was a little much IMO, because if that is how you react when its unimportant, how are you going to react about something really important?

That may be her slant, in that she needs the edge you present, but also is looking for domestic bliss and acceptability.

 

[00Kevin]

this may sound a bit crude. but don't girls know that the best way to a mans heart is through repeat blow jobs? i think that after a week or so of that i'll show her to my parents.

 

[retrievher]

with a BIG RELAXED SMILE

 

[becker]

My last one-itis actually introduced me to her parents and I spent a great deal of time chatting with them, and I got along extremely well with them. Damn, was that girl perfect for me, and if not for her BF, I would have married this girl. She like the only girl in my life that I've ever been able to say that about so far. Even this HB10 that I'm pursuing, who is hotter than that girl physically (but not by much!) doesn't come close as far as how compatible we were...ok, enough of that.

Anyways, this former one-itis of mine and I were talking one day and she was telling me that she had some friends whose parents she NEVER met, even after knowing them for a while. She seemed to place a strong emphasis on this.

My theory here is that perhaps women feel that they can get a better feel of what a guy may really be like by observing his home life. If his parents are all f*cked up, I guess this may be an indication that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, or it may explain how come a kid is the way he is. I don't think it's an accurate measure though. Too arbitrary a connection.

 

[Cremasta]

Originally posted by 00Kevin
She is the type of girl that doesn't say anything when something is bothering her. (i'm totally not used to this) I usually have to ask her what is on her mind.

This is the way to an early grave my friend... Sorry, this has caused major dramas for me in the past and is now one of my major 'red flags'.

 

[Eileen]

Re: Re: Re: Personality.

Originally posted by 00Kevin
If a girl is afraid that her guy will embarrass her in public the guy should just next her.

Good point.

 

[Eileen]

Originally posted by 00Kevin
this may sound a bit crude. but don't girls know that the best way to a mans heart is through repeat blow jobs? i think that after a week or so of that i'll show her to my parents.

Actually, I've found that a good combination of bj's and gourmet meals locks them right in. They're normally willing to take out the rubbish without being asked at that point.

 

[Paid Laid & Made]

Oh yeah, BJ's and a nice meal. That's our type of woman, Eileen.