I want a girl [My Field Report]

dat azz

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This will be about my trials and tribulations until I meet a nice girl, by my standards. I never had a girlfriend before, just random hookups at parties, but I've always felt unfulfilled and I want spirit in my relationship with the girl. Since I got a friend who is as into this as I am, our mutual goal is very helpful in getting me out there. I'll keep this updated for everyone to read as well as for me, so I can keep track of my progress. I hope I make good progress.



LET US BEGIN!!




Approach 1: I walked around Boston with my friend and after a good 2.5 hours of just not approaching anybody due to anxiety and feeling paranoid, I squeezed out my first.. I can't even call this good, but I AM GOING TO GET GOOD!

Me: Excuse me..
HB8: Hi
Me: I just wanted to tell you that you are very beautiful :crazy:
HB8: Thanks

And she took off. I wanted to say something radical as opposed to my friend who was being more subtle and asking for directions or complementing on clothing. I respect his attitude because girls actually talked to him and didn't FLEE. I just wanted to shock my system, I guess.

Approach 2:

Me: Hi, excuse me..
HB8: Yah?
Me: You are so beautiful :)
HB8: Aw, thank you.

And she left too. I need to learn to STOP these people, but I will learn with time.

Approach 3:

Me: Excuse me..
HB6: Hi :)
Me: YOU ARE VERY BEAUTIFUL (as I said it, I realized how stupid it sounds)
HB6: *leaving* ..thanks.

That did not go well. Canned openers are not good, especially when you realize the girl isn't that pretty and when you say it you feel so fake. SO FAKE

Approach 4:

Me: Hey
HB5: Hi..
Me: I like your jacket
HB5: Thank you


Okay, I know it's not much, but this is my starting point, it's not going to get any worse than this.
 

Mr. Suave

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Girls walking about typically aren't prepared to be stopped. You're better off speaking to girls in queues or sitting down etc. By the way what you're doing is a shock to them too so they don't even really know how to react. You know, those times when a girl looks at you and catches you off-guard, maybe you have that "..." moment where your mind doesn't know what to do, then the moment is gone. Same thing probably happend to them. Do you really think their mind is expecting that or prepared for a guy to do that? I doubt it.

Speak to girls who aren't going somewhere for an easier time. Or try what your friend's doing. I don't approach "moving targets" and I only give advice about things I know, so there's not much else I can say...
 

dat azz

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Mr. Suave said:
Girls walking about typically aren't prepared to be stopped. You're better off speaking to girls in queues or sitting down etc. By the way what you're doing is a shock to them too so they don't even really know how to react. You know, those times when a girl looks at you and catches you off-guard, maybe you have that "..." moment where your mind doesn't know what to do, then the moment is gone. Same thing probably happend to them. Do you really think their mind is expecting that or prepared for a guy to do that? I doubt it.
I totally get you. I believe in order to do a cold approach during the day on a girl just going somewhere, you gotta have such high, positive, and loving energy, that she WILL want to stop and talk to you. I felt my interactions were very 'empty'. I had no heart behind it. I even realized after the fact how empty my interaction was. Felt bad man.
 

ilikecharlene

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I think telling a stranger she is beautiful will freak them out.

Perhaps be more conversational. Be observant and notice something about the woman and strike up a conversation.
 

Tell her a little about yourself, but not too much. Maintain some mystery. Give her something to think about and wonder about when she's at home.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

dat azz

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Went out yesterday with my friend, walked around for 2 hours, and had such bad approach anxiety. Felt tired, sad, depressed, and just didn't have that mojo. Whatever, this is all a learning experience, right? LETS GOOOO

Today brought some nice results..

Approach 5: HB6, asian, petite, actually really cute. Saw her on campus..

Me: Hey excuse me
HB6: Hi.. (seemed a little shocked)
Me: I'm just wondering if you know where to get some coffee around here?
HB6: Yeah! You can get some over here, do you have a card?
Me: Noo, I go to *college* and don't have a card
HB6: Oh ok, I'll let you in

She led me to the place and it turns out you don't need a card so she said bye and left. Didn't really pursue this because she was no where near my type, but still a very sweet girl.

Approach 6: Heard a girl speaking French with some guy, but they just finished talking and she was walking in the direction I was walking..

Me: Hey, are you from France or Canada?
HB8: France!
Me: Oh cool, what part of France?
HB8: Paris :)
Me: Cool! I've been there, too. I love traveling, you see, I'm very cultured :whistle:
HB8: lol, where are you from?
Me: My parents are from *blah* but I was born and have lived here my whole life
HB8: Nice
Me: Yeah, so do you like it more here or there? (realizing this is a really retarded question, I quickly say..) I mean like, are people friendlier here or there?
HB8: People are generally friendlier here :)
Me: Lol well you're pretty and your accent is cute, so duh they are friendly :D
HB8: :D
Me: Are you here for a while?
HB8: Yep, it's an exchange program and I'm here for another 1.5 years.
Me: NICE :D Give me your number?
HB8: Sure :D
Me: Ok cool, nice to meet you.
HB8: Byeee

She left smiling from ear to ear and held strong eye contact as she left.

IS THIS REAL LIFE? I just felt good and felt good chemistry and it felt so natural. Really cute girl, I will text her later to see what's up. Gotta take things SLOW. My friend kept saying that. Take things slow. SOLID ADVICE MAH DUDE.

Approach 7: Asking for directions for coffee is just too easy. Saw this cute girl walking by herself so I opened..

Me: Hey, excuse me..
HB7: Hi *smile*
Me: Hey, where can I get some coffee around here?
HB7: I'd go to Dunkin Donuts by the train station
Me: Ohh.. where is that?
HB7: I'll show you
Me: K, let's go :)

Talked a little about where she's from, what's her major, how she's columbian but doesn't drink coffee.. I also dropped that she's pretty and asked if she doesn't drink columbian coffee does she at least do lots of drugs to compensate? :p She lol'd. So got to Dunkin and I said..

Me: Give me your number, HB7 ?
HB7: Okay, but I gotta bf. My bf makes me tell people that..
Me: Yeah that's cool (lol like I care? you have a bf and are giving out your number to strangers you meet? must not be a great bf huh? lol no offense)
HB7: Ok, bye!
Me: Nice to meet you :)

She held really strong eye contact as she left. That was hot.
 

dat azz

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I texted the French girl Friday night as well as today and no response. It's okay. She smoked and I don't like girls that smoke to be honest. The Colombian girl and I texted back and forth a little bit on Friday night and she was really responsive. Going to ask her to lunch sometime this week and see where things go. When I got her # she said she had a bf, but that may have been her trying to defend herself from giving out her number, I really don't know. I'm not asking about her relationship.. don't ask don't tell lol.
 

macallik

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Good stuff. Approach 6 is the best imo coz you were playful and funny. It's cool to open by asking for direction or compliments, but after that you have to remember to segue to some kind of behavior that displays value such as humor or C&F or whatever.


Keep the approaches coming!
 

ka_mate

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dat azz said:
Okay, I know it's not much, but this is my starting point, it's not going to get any worse than this.
hahaha, I love your honesty.

Beautiful, to me, is the highest compliment you can give a girl so it is way too early to bestow that sort of praise on a girl, especially if she isn't even that hot then you just come across as sleezy and cheesy.

I'd cut the compliments as an opener if I were you to unoriginal and way too AFC for my liking. I want to see more entries here so KEEP APPROACHING.
 

Men frequently err by talking too much. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're impressing the women when, in reality, they're depressing the women.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

dat azz

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Went out today. Really not feeling it, even after approaching, I just want to go to sleep for 10 hours.

Approach 8: Sitting on a bench, saw a girl come from out of the apartment I was sitting under..

Me: Excuse me
HB9 stops and smiles
Me: Hi
HB9: Hi

.. and I went blank. She was hot, I didn't know what to say, and she left. I know. :cuss:

Approach 9: Saw a cutie walking down the street so I caught up with her..

Me: Hi
HB6: Hi
Me: I just thought you're cute, I wanted to say hi
HB6: Aw thank you
Me: Yup, bye
HB6: What's your name?
Me: It's ...., what's yours?
HB6: I'm HB6.
Me: Where are you going?
HB6: Blah blah you?
Me: Blah blah. Ok well, have fun, bye

No heart in that one. She looked a lot hotter from far away and I lost all interest once I approached her. I have a hard time doing this if I don't find the girl hot. I don't want to settle for less and it's 100x more satisfying if a hot girl is receptive to you. Feels amazing man, but this did not feel amazing.

Approach 10: Cute Asian girl walking down the street...

Me: Excuse me
HB7: Hi
Me: I don't wanna bother you, but my friend over there thinks you're cute..
HB7: oh hehehe (however girls make that flustered face and are like ^_^)
Me: Do you have a bf?
HB7: I doo..
Me: Oh okay, bye

I was just being silly, I had no intentions to 'pick her up' I just wanted to try something. No harm in trying to be more social.

Approach 11: Saw a girl walking down the street

Me: Excuse me, can I ask you something?
HB6: ..okay..
Me: Now, looking at my face (gesturing to my face) do you think I look good with a little bit of scruff?
HB6: Umm..
Me: Like would you want me with or without scruff?
HB6: Idk, what does your friend over there think (pointing to friend)

Are you really trying to blow up my spot, woman? :nono:

Me: So your answer.. ??
HB6: You look fine
Me: I know, thanks, bye

Again, not really trying, just going for the 'talk to people' aspect of this.

Approach 12: Walking home, approaches done, and a seriously hot girl walks in front of me.. I catch up to her and am like "I really have nothing to lose :woo: "

Me: Hey, excuse me
HB10: Hi...
Me: I just wanted to tell you that you have a nice fashion sense
HB10: *smiles*
Me: Like, you look at some girls and you think "what the hell", but you, you get it :up:
HB10: Thank you

Okay, it's really not much, but at least I did it. I see every guy stare but no one approaches. So 1up on you noobs.


Things to work on for next time:
  • Sleep (be well rested and have high energy. I was dead today.
  • Shave (so I don't look homeless)
  • Nicer clothes (no sweats, probably jeans and a polo or buttoned shirt)
  • Cologne (doesn't hurt to smell nice especially if you ate a bulb of garlic for lunch..oops)

It's not amazing, but I just want to get good enough so I can get a girlfriend(s). I want that high and happy energy and anything is possible with that stuff. I'm also going to try more, even if I'm alone without my buddy, I need to incorporate approaching and confidence into everything I do.
 

Masculinity

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Woooo!

I am from Boston too, brother. I'm now gaming in Cali, but I remember my sarging day in Massachusetts and New Hampshire. I like your thread so far, keep up the good work :rockon:

-Rob
 

FalkonX

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Yo we suppose to work on time constraint and rooting. You didn't do any. lol
 

marmel75

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Just remember while you are "taking it slow" another dude is taking her out and banging her the same night...food for thought...
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

dat azz

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FalkonX said:
Yo we suppose to work on time constraint and rooting. You didn't do any. lol
That stuff is solid, but somethings are bad. I don't want to approach groups of guys and girls when I can barely make a conversation with 1 girl. I'm gonna keep trying spontaneous + fun. It works if you're in a good mood, you know it's true.

marmel75 said:
Just remember while you are "taking it slow" another dude is taking her out and banging her the same night...food for thought...
NOO. :crazy: Going from reclusive video gaming to approaching girls is a huge jump for me. I'm starting slow but I'm not gonna stay slow. Thanks for the comment!
 

dat azz

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I went out yesterday and just said hi and made quick chit chat with over 20 girls, but I didn't number close at all. You can say this was just me trying to kill my AA, which I think I did. I have no problems approaching a woman anymore. I approached women I would be afraid of making eye contact with a month ago. That is progress! What kills me is that a lot of these girls were very receptive to me and I didn't ask them to hang out, or at least gotten a number! I wasn't 100% playa Don Juan King Kong mode. Far from it. STILL, out of the 20+ girls I stopped to talk to there were like 2 or 3 that were not very happy with me talking to them, but that leaves 17/20 happy customers or 85%. I will take 85%. Man that is like a solid B, sometimes B+, sometimes even an A if it's scaled. Imagine if I asked them if they wanted to come back to my place for food and drinks. Out of 17, I am willing to bet at least 1 would say yes. I need to escalate that stuff. When a girl is smiling and blushing when you're talking to her, that is a great sign.

For next time I go out approaching, here's some things I wanna do:

- I want to make it sexual. Just straight to the point "wanna go back to my place for lunch? drinks? to play monopoly?" There is no harm in doing this and since this is a numbers game, I am willing to bet at least 1 girl out of 20 will agree. If not, I can always shoot for a number.. if not, at least I tried.

- I need to go shopping for some more clothes. I have 1 pair of jeans that need to be replaced. I have 1 buttoned up shirt. My wardrobe is mainly sweats, sweatshirts, and lots of basketball shorts. I need to get some nicer jeans, a nice shirt or two, and maybe a cool cap to wear.

- I need to grow out my hair, too. I've always looked better with medium hair instead of very short hair. It takes more time to wash and maintain, but if it makes me look better then that's a small price to pay.

- I need to put on more weight too. 6'2 160lb is not normal. I looked malnourished. I have bags under my eyes and I'm pale. Goal is 180lb and I'm going to start eating tuna again. I'm a vegan, but I really need some fatty foods and tuna is healthy for you. So a meal with tuna 3 times a week is fine. Will still be taking my fish oil supplements along with my vitamin and mineral supplements.

I think that's good. Put on a bit more weight, get a cooler hair cut, nicer looking clothes, and get to the point with these receptive and happy girls. They want it as bad as I do, so I'll innocently initiate it. Going back to my place for drinks and dinner is kind of obvious but it doesn't flat out say it.. so it's kind of like a little game we both agree too. I know what's up, she knows what's up, but we maintain a cool persona like nothing is happening. Gotta keep it professional right :D
 
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