I walked out on our date.

[SteveMcQ]

This site has given me balls...are they the right kind?:

I made plans to take her out tomorrow night. She calls today around noon and asks to change our date to tonight as she has a sorority sister coming into town for the weekend. I reluctantly said "ok". During a subsequent call to me she talks about how she's tired and when asked why, explains that she was up til 1 am with a "friend".

So I get to her house to take her out and she's acting and saying she's tired, so after about ten min I calmy say, "I'm done here. You obviously don't want to hang out so when you're ready to give me quality time, then you let me know. Later." and I left.

The bottomline is I don't think I should settle for whatever leftover tired time she has between hanging out with whatever friends.

What can I expect now?

 

[Alen-Delon]

you didnt walk out on shyt, you simply got rejected. face the fact, and move one. simply next the hoe!

 

[Morphiex]

around 90 % chance that she thinks ur a dillhole and says **** you or you got her pu ss y-wipped and is yours for the taking.... =P

 

[snintel]

You're mistake was saying "ok" when she changed it to tonight.

Also, no reason to get so angry. Sometimes I am too lazy to go out but don't feel like rejecting my friends so I kind of mope and indirectly tell them that. So, when she was moping at home you should have just kept cool ( this is just my opinion.. I'm not the type to get angry at little things) and just said "Alright, but I do feel like going out so have fun here..." and then just walk out, but either way is fine I guess. basically you showed you needed her too much, but I doubt she was **** testing you.

 

[themanwithnoname]

busy? excuses? blah... she's not interested, who cares buddy, you got numbers to pick up this fri and sat, go go go.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Expect nothing. Expectations are the downfall of many DJ wannabes. You are setting yourself up for failure and/or disappointment if you put much weight on expectations. Decide to do what's necessary if and when something happens OR make something happen yourself.

 

[whitedragon]

You did good

bro' u did good, u stood up for yourself and puttin up with her crap by leaving...i wouldnt even bother to try to go back..move on to more tireless girls...

you got my props

 

[chance]

you know what i hate? girls who lie and lie. i think they actually love doing this to us fellas. why can't they just be honest and tell us they're not interested? so they can't hurt our feelings? bullsh|t

 

[SteveMcQ]

Thanks for both the criticism and encouragement, guys.

I probably could have done better in some respects but I feel that I played it pretty cool. I don't doubt she was tired but she should have considered and mentioned that when she asked to move the date up. I mean, since she's not my gf (dating for a couple months) and I had already made the mistake of accepting the reschedule, I'd like input on how some of you might have handled it differently at that point.

I wouldn't say this was a sh*t test either but this chick is tough and I do know that she wants a man that will stand up to her when necessary; it's just hard to judge exactly when that is.

Oh well, we may be through but that's alright because I'll not going settle on some chick (no matter how cool) that's not going to show mutual respect, and I've had a few previous hints that it was lacking.

 

[SteveMcQ]

Seems she got jealous

So........I just had lunch with a mutual friend and he explained that she thought I was hooking up with a bunch of women in China for the last 2 and 1/2 months.

I was in China on business and did have many women offered to me and liking me but didn't hook up with any of them because hooking up with random chicks that I can't even talk to isn't my thing, and most of them just want a ticket to the US.

Not sure how to proceed now in lieu of this info and my recent actions...?

 

[Maximus_Decimus]

Originally posted by SteveMcQ
Thanks for both the criticism and encouragement, guys.

I probably could have done better in some respects but I feel that I played it pretty cool. I don't doubt she was tired but she should have considered and mentioned that when she asked to move the date up. I mean, since she's not my gf (dating for a couple months) and I had already made the mistake of accepting the reschedule, I'd like input on how some of you might have handled it differently at that point.

I wouldn't say this was a sh*t test either but this chick is tough and I do know that she wants a man that will stand up to her when necessary; it's just hard to judge exactly when that is.

Oh well, we may be through but that's alright because I'll not going settle on some chick (no matter how cool) that's not going to show mutual respect, and I've had a few previous hints that it was lacking.

SteveMcQ, aside from accepting the rescheduling, you did the right thing and demonstrated you have a backbone. I won't mention specific names but some of the negative feedback is unwarranted. Remember, your time is valuable and if she doesn't show you mutual respect, you shouldn't be wasting your valuable time with her. Assuming you departed with a cool and controlled demeanor and you didn't let her control your emotions (ie. you didn't burst out in anger), you did the best job that you could.

"I'm done here. You obviously don't want to hang out so when you're ready to give me quality time, then you let me know. Later." and I left.

This is a good example of a nicely structured takeaway. You've left her the option to hook up again in the future if she is ready to behave and act accordingly.

Fellow DJs, I rarely give compliments but re-read the original post and let it sink in ... this is the type of inner game you should be striving for.

Maximus_Decimus

 

[everywomanshero]

I Mostly agree

I agree with being assertive if you aren't getting what you need from the relationship 80% of the time. However, there have been times when i thought for certain a woman was no longer interested, then after giving her some space she really came through on the next date.

I suspect most guys are still taking too much **** rather than acting too quickly. I believe that learning to put my foot down has made me more respectable to women.

Act with care, but this is a good sign that our buddy Steve has the right 'tude to be in this business.

 

[zerocelcius]

Originally posted by SteveMcQ
This site has given me balls...are they the right kind?:

The bottomline is I don't think I should settle for whatever leftover tired time she has between hanging out with whatever friends.

What can I expect now?

It is called a life. If you want to date girls that acutally have one you have to realize that they will always only have enough time to fit you in.

At least she did fit you into the little time she had. I think what you did is somewhat childish and shows signs of being controling.

I don't think you should expect anything from her. With out a doubt you are on her **** list and she is completely done with you.

Next time just offer a massage and go for the score.

 

[bud_2005]

Re: Re: I walked out on our date.

Originally posted by zerocelcius
It is called a life. If you want to date girls that acutally have one you have to realize that they will always only have enough time to fit you in.

At least she did fit you into the little time she had. I think what you did is somewhat childish and shows signs of being controling.

I don't think you should expect anything from her. With out a doubt you are on her **** list and she is completely done with you.

Next time just offer a massage and go for the score.

Let me guess, you don't have a backbone.

 

[note.the.smoke]

if shes tired go to bed...

 

[skyjcky]

Yeah you did the right thing man, your the one thats supposed to run **** with you and the girl, give em a inch they take a mile. If I were you I wouldnt even trip, just go out and get another chica, and if this one happens to call back, you can have your way with her then drop it.

 

[white_hype]

I would have left too but remember, you cant next a girl until youve ****ed her

also you should have attracted her more before your big "date" but dont worry about it too much. Sorority girls can be some of the biggest stupid *****es out there, trust me I know, Ive dealt with LOTS of them... they think they are automatically "hot" and "cool" and "better than everyone else" just b/c they are in a fvcking sorotiy

 

[skeeloo]

you did good. real good. watch how she act next time she sees you. respect thats what and aloof attitude..

 

[JH6]

Originally posted by skeeloo
you did good. real good. watch how she act next time she sees you. respect thats what and aloof attitude..

Agreed, you need to keep the power, don't give her your balls in a jar.

 

[LongDrinkofWater]

Props......


From what you have said, it seems to me you did the right thing. The major thing I brought away from reading your posts is that you followed your instincts. I have no doubts that after you left, she analyzed why you split. It's just human nature. She knows why you left - I have no doubts about that, even if it happened to be a female friend she was up with until 1 a.m. Of course if it was a guy, then it's a no-brainer on her part.