I thought i was done before but im pretty sure im done now

[jigga23]

The link below is what happened previously with this girl. gotta read it to get a better understanding of the situation.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=99374


So tonight I go to that party i mentioned in the other thread. we didnt text or call each other before the party. i told her last week i wasn't going to go cause she freakin pissed me off. So i went and texted her and let her know i was in the bar. the first time i saw her i was acutally looking for her. she walked by and i was just being cool about it. I said hold on ill be back (didnt want to seem like a puppy dog and go around with her immediatley). ran into her again but we barley talked it was like that the whole night. So i finally go up to her again and say hey you wanna a drink? she said shes stop cause shes driving) so i was like cool. we didnt talk again then i was talking to some other people next to where she was sitting down. i texted to her to see what she would say. i said hey we should hang out tomorrow. she replies back i got a final on monday ill be done with school on monday. i was like wtf. so i leave i text her after (im practically sober little buzzed maybe, i think she was too). Just cause weve really havent gone on formal dates i barley know her like weve chilled but most of the time it was at a bar or we were drinking we went to NHL game once. In the text i said

"im just going to be real. i wanted too hang out with you more 2nite."

"i want to get to you know you better but i guess you think im a d1ckhead or whatever and thats sucks. i guess ill take it as you dont wanna talk. have a goodnite pal." i just wanted to be real wiht her or just a girl overall.

so now i think shes really done with me. she was cool and stuff but somehting went wrong. Anything else that could be done here? I dont know ill giver her a week off then call her like in 2 weeks. all this bullsh!t stems from me now fvckin her immediatley i think

 

[Docs]

Give her at least a month. She thinks you're mad at her, give the impression of it so she'll be satisfied. It's mind-fukking games right now. Find a few other girls to get to know better, and maybe when she sees you one night, she'll start opening up. That would be the time to 'be real with her', and she'll be completely thrown off.

 

[Jariel]

It sounds to me that you're trying WAY too hard to be a challenge. Either this is making you look like a cold bastard or it's making you look like a strategizing try-hard. It also sounds like you can't keep it up for long and you cave in and text her.

If you like this girl, go for her! Stop playing games and stop holding back and playing cool. She's already given you some greenlights, now you have to be the man and make things happen. Don't TELL her you like her via texts, SHOW her via your actions.

 

[jigga23]

if she doesnt know i like her by now shes out of it. but i know she obviously has some kind of barrier up against me. she replies to me all the time though. ill give her a month.

 

[the_one]

I'm new here and my advice should be taken with a grain of salt....

But, man... You have to shrug it off.. Move on.. Find someone willing to find you at the bar, to hunt you down and to send you text messages wondering why you aren't laying next to her..

I know it can be hard, I still do it all the time. I get hung up on the "Great Catch" idea, and from time to time meet someone that I want to be more obsessive about than normal.. I have learned as of late that just backing off, looking for another, and not trying so hard works out so many more times than applying the pressure myself.

 

[jigga23]

its both for me. i stop talking to her for like a week or so then shell call or text to hang out. its happened like 2 or 3 times. i call her she flakes, i stop, she calls like a week later. i dont really care that much thats why i was like fvck it i want to get you know you better and if you dont want that then oh well. i know she thinks im a d1ck but i try to her show her that im nice sometimes i try to give her a mix. i know im a d1ck my ex did a lot of fvcked up sh!t and that made me become one once i see a trait in a girl that my ex had.

 

[Socialreject]

I got to agree with Jariel here...

Your posts are confusing ME, I wonder how SHE feels. Ok, confusion is mostly a good thing, but too much of it isn't. I don't think you were gaming her right, you were a bit to distant imho.

That first time you refused her for sex cause you drowned your snake.. you should have given her 'some' form of sex. Maybe just use your hands, or whatever, but DO something (I would have boned the crap outta her tbh!). That way she will KNOW you are interested and she will drop some of her "i'm not cheap" games and it will be easier for you to be "a challenge"(since she will come on to you more). That way you won't have to try so damn hard to be a challenge.

I also think you were too aloof at the party, you should have went straight for your objective... to pick up where you left off when you were too drunk. If she comes up with a crappy excuse again THEN you can be mad at her (which means, act cold and distant)... at that point you can just leave her alone for a month, if she contacts you before a month just tell her you are still a bit upset.

Also, when you are upset about stuff like this (or acting upset), you are never upset because you didn't get to bust a nut (yeah right), you are upset because she is/trying to play games (because you assume she wants to as much as you). See, refusing once is fine, could be a number of legit reasons for it for all you know, refusing twice is almost certainly trying to play mind-games, you don't approve, so get upset! Strike 3 is next basically... (provided they make up for strike 2)

I'm not sure what you 'can' do at this point though, you kind of screwed it up already i think.

I'd just leave her alone, don't next her yet, give her another shot, but stop chasing her or she WILL start running. When/if she gives chase to you again then be less challenging... give her the attention she wants, try to pick up where you left off, if she flakes again... next!

 

[the_one]

I feel you.. I have definitely been in that situation and still kinda am unsure sometimes about what to do.. What I would probably do... If I had the opportunity again, like the situation at the party, I would certainly engage as quickly as possible. Since things seem a little awkward now, maybe start off with a little humor..

But thats me, and I am a junior Don Juan scout. Still learning.. If I would put into action some of the things I have been reading on here.. I would probably say "NEXT!"

 

[far from average]

Dude, you send WAY too many mixed messages. You act like you're pissed off, but then you are texting her and stuff. I wouldn't want to get with you either, I'd think that you are unbalanced. If a girl was treating me like you treat her, I'd avoid her flat out. I told you this in the other thread-You need to pick a course and stick to it. You are all over the place.

 

[Eulogy]

Ugh. I swear to god 95% of the posts on sosuave are really "how to get this one girl plz quik" in disguise.

 

[jigga23]

i know what youre sayin. from now on with her im just goin to send her one message whether it be fvck you or i want you. at first with this girl i was liike here im going to ask you out no games need to be played but she even said sh1t like "i can't be the readily availabile." so i was like you wanna be like that then lets do it. i just need to knock her dumb guard down. i know i gotta be nice now. if i just get to take her out a freakin formal date for once instead of meeting up at the bars sh!t would be easier.

 

[jigga23]

adf

 

[jigga23]

i know i might be reading into all this sh!t too much but after i texted her that stuff last night i got a text from her like at 5:15 am, i was texting her like at 2. in her text she said. im driving right now so i cant text. i guess she just did that to acknowledge that she saw what i wrote but didnt know what to say back or didnt want to say anything. also she was talking with some guys i know and she knows as well. they are older and stuff but when i walked up they starting talking about girls after talking to her. then they bust out you can't be such a d1ck to girls and act so ****y. im thinking she was probably sayin that sh!t to them. im just not going to call her for a couple of weeks and let sh1t chill out