Man. First of all. Help her! Don't just leave her and divorce just right now, please. There is no need to go that far, it is just a divorcement where you are written in a paper.
Give her all the love you have. I know it might be hard but this is the time out if any time to help her. Rather than making her go through another trauma, if you have compassion in you, if you as a human being know how to feel love towards other human being, then please help her. She is already list no need to push her deeper I to the darkness of nightmares.
Rather than divorcing her and running away from her, please as a man take her hand and watch her deep into her eyes, hug her one last very deep hug and take her to therapy. I know you could never hug someone with a deep meaning you don't find attractive anymore. But it is time; maybe for years you have not hugged her with love or maybe not have given her a kiss with love. This time, look within yourself and look very deeply; unroll you find compassion in your being Sony stop searching, and I know for someone so close to you, there must be very much compassion inside you; even tough you might have been enduring her for the last few years fighting with her feeling like she is the worst person alive, but that is simply because of your stupid innocence.
For your whole life, you have had a very low quality of love, a conditional love. You have always loved her just to get something back. You have always expected something back. Everytime you have given her affection, you have expected her to give you love or make you food or clean for you. But this time it's enough. This time make that love the highest possible love there is - she needs it, now more than ever, she needs it. She needs love and not a love of business. That love is not love, just pretension. She has seen it enough, you have also.
This time give her unconditional love, yes, that is the highest. You expect nothing back. Just like a mother loving her son! Her traumas are very deep. She has lost her mother at the age of nine. And being raped just after getting mature from puberty. Have you ever felt the warmness from your mother? The. You must know. And do you k ow what we body goes through all the puberty year? It is just to prepare the young child to be separated for her mother and move I. With a worthy man. And those two are the most important thing for the children. If those two does not success, the child will have trauma for the rest if her life. Here will be constant tension and sooner or later if she is not helped, will she commit auicide. Do you have the wart to prevent that? Do you have the love as a human being to help her? Can you see that ahe has fine through hell for hell whole life.
Now her most beloved person, the mother was take away for her and the body that she was preparing for a man that she wants to spent the rest of her life with - was taken away for her forcefully, raped. You say he lost her mother at the age of nine and she was sexually abuse at the age of foil utters. If you are have any intelligent you will be able to see hat those two points of her life at the most important, and If it is being taken away from her, she will have trauma for the rest of her life. Now if her mother died when she was unconscious, two or three or maybe four years old, she could have had another mother figure, but this mother who showered love on her for nine full years, wih so much warmness. You know the feeling, the warmness of you or mothers heart. Nothing I this whole world is better than that. As she wa starting the hardest part of her life - puberty. Was her most beloved person, most warmest person who would have given the bet support taken away by her - forcefully. That is the first and the biggest trauma of her life. She will need one for the best therapies for this one and even then maybe she won't get over it.
Now she has to suffer the puberty alone. Have you seen young children Geowing up Their puberty years? Twelve thirteen years olds.. They are very sad, quiet, and alone.. The body is using all the energy to make them mature, ther will be much anxiety inside the young one, much anguish, this is the time whe the children needs the warmness of the beloved mother the most. Listen carefully because unroll I open you heart from bottom to top, I won't stop. The children who goes through puberty with the clear trauma of the recent incident of her mothers dead will make it simply hinder times worst. Puberty itself is the hardest time of your whole life and you want to make her go through the pain of losing the most beloved at the same time. Now antbody who goes puberty without the mothers love, will not come out of the puberty mature. She must have been in darkness her whole life.
We might not see it as a big deal, because we no longer see our mother as the most important persons but for the children she is everything. And a children who starts learn about sex, is being abused sexually. That is a deep trauma, a dep wound in her being. If you cannot see her pain, her hell, just in front if you, you are simply an idiot. And she does not need an idiot. She in this whole world, needs the love of the mother the most. Everyone who loses the mother at that age needs the love from her husband more than any other girl.
And you say that she also has insominia. Perfectly expected. Anybody who had problems with the past always has insomnia. The dream reminds the past. Dreams are always the things that you desire deep down. Whatever you desire, if they are not fulfilled in the day-to-day routine, they will appear in the dream. And in this case, she most propably have nightmares.
Now, in this forum there is many idiots. So be careful, don't turn into an idiot. What you should do is give her live and help her, just out of compassion. They twach here not to sow love, but hat is only whe you want to attract someone. This is a different case, you want to help her. In this forum, you will find many guys who are very much against women. They hate them, they want to crush them, rape. We have seen them all, even in this forum. Twy were the guys who were the nice guys, they turn into jerks but then they start to take revenge. First, the women were the most important to them, the once they learn that it is not that way to attract them, they start hating women for what thy have done, they ha mcd no other to blame. There are so many rationalization Rey invent here. Now it is very easy to say that she is insane. That is a vey god rationalization and it gives you power over her, making her an idiot and you the one winos right.
So, if she has some problems with her past, wih her psychology, rather than condeminatjnf her and making her feel worst, rather thandoing that, help her! Why am I bringing this up? Because it is vey common for men who have failed with women to start to hurt them, hating them. Don't be that guy.
She needs love, and unconditional love, the love she received from the mother. Until she gets enough, she will never be satisfied with her life.
