I think my g/f is a slut

[Ridingthelightning]

She is at least easy.
She's great, very few complaints. Great cook, good mind, good conversation, all that good stuff. But it just seems that she has been around. She has had more partners than I, and I know it at least doubles my #. I don't know what to make of it, don't know how i feel about it.
And I know she is the type that doesn't have to be in a relationship to fukk.
She used to frequent a bar where it seems everyone has fukked everyone at some time or another, gross. I think she took part as well. We've been there a few times and I have a good time at the beginning but it turns sour because I think "Has she been with that guy? that guy? what about that guy? him? what about him?"

She says I'm the best she has ever had. I know thats kinda what women say but that bucket holds a little more water than usual because I've heard it before and its usually said to me right after I get done fukking the living **** out of them and I've given them their umpteenth orgasm. I am good in bed, but its a mind fukk for me because I don't wanna know people she has fukked. ESPECIALLY if its more than one.

Anyone else ever dealt with this before? I would love to hear some views and experiences on dating a woman who could possibly be, for lack of a better term, a slut.

 

[vorbis]

tbh, what you're experiencing is insecurity.

Theres several people on this board who are looking for their gf to be a virgin or close to it. This is dangerous thinking for one important reason.

The most important thing should be how she treats you. If she treats you well and respects you then how many guys she has been with is unimportant. Part of her treating you well would be keeping her sexual past discreet. Most people will have a past, you'll have to learn to deal with it.

 

[KontrollerX]

Ridingthelightning I don't think you are insecure but I do think you would be happier if you were in a relationship with a virgin chick.

The problem is you're pretty much not going to find one of those these days so you'll just have to do as vorbis says and focus more on how she treats you.

I mean think of it this way, even if she has had more experience than you, you have still had your fair share of women as well so it kind of makes you a hypocrite to expect her not to of gotten her freak on right?

So yeah I don't think you'd want to be a hypocrite so just try not to judge her and just enjoy her for the happiness she brings you and just block all that other crap out of your mind.

I mean sure its alright for you to dump her if you want and go look for a virgin if that would make you happy but even if you find a girl that claims to be a virgin she could just be lying because she likes you so much and wants you to like her too.

So there's pretty much no guarantees you'll ever find a virgin anyway so you might as well stay with this chick until she does some kind of relationship deal breaker like cheats on you or lies about things or something but for now she's golden.

She just has a past like the majority of chicks these days and you yourself do.

No big deal so long as you two don't have undiagnosed STD's you're transmitting to eachother lol.

 

[joekerr31]

well i think the problem is less about sexual partners and perhaps more about perspectives. are you a conservative and she's a liberal?

like is she very 'anything goes' type of person and you are more 'traditional' in your beliefs.

if you are 'anything goes' type of person, then yes i think you are merely being insecure. but if you are more of a 'sex should be with someone you care about and as such a woman who has 50 partners is a sl*t' then you've got a problem.

the problem isn't that she's slept around, the problem is that you don't agree with her outlook on life that facilitating the behavior of sleeping around.

figure out whether your issue is the fact that shes slept around or whether its her attitude towards life in general and whether that attitude is compatible with your own. if its the prior then deal with your insecurity. if its the latter, then you need to assess whether you see a future together and whether you need to go from seeing her as a long term investment to a short term one.

 

[Slickster]

If you two have a good relationship then anything that happened before should be left in the past.

Those are the things that made her who she is and also brought her to you. That is what is important.

Enjoy her for who she is.

Bury the past. Live in the now.

 

[dietzcoi]

But you still have the problem, that a person's past DOES reflect on who they are now.

I don't know your intentions towards this woman, but obviously you will never be happy with her long term, as you will always have this issue nagging at the back of your mind.

You will NOT be able to just ignore it, as some posters seem to feel you can easily do.

I would also like to state, that people who blow this off as "just insecurity" are really doing you and others a disservice. It is not just insecurity. It is a real issue.

I really do not understand what these women who are big time "Slvts" think is going to happen to them when they hit 30 and want to marry a decent guy....

Having said all that, I agree that your chances of meeting a woman with no past whatsoever are zero nowadays.

If this current situation bothers you, and it does, you are going to have to next her and move on.

Dietzcoi

 

[jophil28]

But you still have the problem, that a person's past DOES reflect on who they are now.

I agree - a person IS defined by their behavior, both past and present.
Your dilemma is NOt insecurity - that is a shallow take on your post.
I lean toward JoeK's view that perhaps you are a conservative in matters concerning Sex inside an LTR and your perception is that your G/f is more liberal in this regard. Are you worried that she is likely to have casual anonymous sex with someone when your back is turned.
If this is a huge isuue for you and your trust in her is low then maybe you need to find a more traditional girl who shares your values.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Anyone else ever dealt with this before? I would love to hear some views and experiences on dating a woman who could possibly be, for lack of a better term, a slut.

Hell, yeah! All my GFs are slvts. They're the best in bed.

But you had better not be boring. Do you call her a slvt and a wh0re in bed? Pull her hair? Pin her arms behind her, or other forceful treatment? If you don't treat her like the slvt she is and fill her need for this treatment, then she is eventually going to find another guy who will.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Hell, yeah! All my GFs are slvts. They're the best in bed.

But you had better not be boring. Do you call her a slvt and a wh0re in bed? Pull her hair? Pin her arms behind her, or other forceful treatment? If you don't treat her like the slvt she is and fill her need for this treatment, then she is eventually going to find another guy who will.

Bible Belt is todays winner! :cheer:

Also, for the Thread starter. I wouldn't trip on the past. Who cares its been said and done. Nothing you can change. If you like her and she likes you then, great. I would say you are not being insecure. She has been around a little bit. Keep a eye on her but, don't be the guy who calls all the time wondering where she is or telling her where she can go. Just sit back relax, keep your girl in check time to time.

If you wan't some tips on how to Keep her IL up in a LTR I've made a post for that.

 

[muscleman]

There are no slvts, only girls who fvck you and girls who fvck other guys.

 

[Lord Shinra]

I still never got how a woman's past, especially if you didn't know them yet, has such an effect on people now.

Big deal, she could sing a country song with the names of the dudes shes schtupped. She's schtupping you now. As was said above, as long as you aren't sharing "goodies" to one another, this should be a non-issue if you are secure.

If you aren't secure, you need to have a heart to heart with yourself and find the root cause.

 

[dietzcoi]

Lord S, how can you fail to understand that a person's past makes up a large part of thier personality... it defines who they are!

Unless they are some kind of Zen master who can completely control their thoughts and emotions, then whatever happened to them in the past will have a big impact on thier character.

If you guys are talking about just a casual STR then OK, no problem.

If you want a serious LTR, then a person's past DOES matter.

How can you guys just ignore this! It is a disaster waiting to happen.

Be careful....

Dietzcoi

 

[Effington]

You should watch the movie "Chasing Amy".

 

[Stud No1]

Go with your gut

if you doubt things, there's a reason. You say you dont know what goes on in her head. well, that says it all

i have first hand experience, i dated a girl for 3 years, going against my gut feeling and it finished bitterly - i knew i had mad a mistake and ill never make the same mistake again. life's too short to put yourself through that kinda bs man.

 

[Moofahsa]

If it bothers you

Then boot her.

Millions of damaged women that are fuc*ed up beyond repair. Just nail it and leave it.

 

[MICO]

I don't think the number of partners that you have been with tells how you will be in the future or even plays an important role on your personality. I don't understand how guys can sleep around all day long with dozens of women and not be judge at the end on the day. It's so ironic how a man who sleeps with multiple women is a champion, yet when girls do the same they are sluts.

Everyone deserves a chance and as long as she remains faithful to you, you should be OK. Hopefully your bad thoughts will pass

 

[ready123]

You should watch the movie "Chasing Amy".

that's funny dude, that popped into my head too

 

[Lord Shinra]

Lord S, how can you fail to understand that a person's past makes up a large part of thier personality... it defines who they are!

Unless they are some kind of Zen master who can completely control their thoughts and emotions, then whatever happened to them in the past will have a big impact on thier character.

If you guys are talking about just a casual STR then OK, no problem.

If you want a serious LTR, then a person's past DOES matter.

How can you guys just ignore this! It is a disaster waiting to happen.

Be careful....

Dietzcoi

I follow the "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy. I have some skeletons too, which although shape who I am, I dont run around yelling " I fvcked my girlfriend, her mom and her step mom, and even beat off her dad too. So I'm crazy ya!!". I try not to live in the past, then again, I'm not actively looking for an LTR, although I keep my eyes open.

You don't need to be a Zen master to just repress the past and see what happens with what you got.

 

[00Kevin]

She is at least easy.
She's great, very few complaints. Great cook, good mind, good conversation, all that good stuff. But it just seems that she has been around. She has had more partners than I, and I know it at least doubles my #. I don't know what to make of it, don't know how i feel about it.
And I know she is the type that doesn't have to be in a relationship to fukk.
She used to frequent a bar where it seems everyone has fukked everyone at some time or another, gross. I think she took part as well. We've been there a few times and I have a good time at the beginning but it turns sour because I think "Has she been with that guy? that guy? what about that guy? him? what about him?"

She says I'm the best she has ever had. I know thats kinda what women say but that bucket holds a little more water than usual because I've heard it before and its usually said to me right after I get done fukking the living **** out of them and I've given them their umpteenth orgasm. I am good in bed, but its a mind fukk for me because I don't wanna know people she has fukked. ESPECIALLY if its more than one.

Anyone else ever dealt with this before? I would love to hear some views and experiences on dating a woman who could possibly be, for lack of a better term, a slut.

yes once a ***** always a *****