I think my desires are running away with me.

[squirrels]

Last week, I was so "on" it wasn't funny. I felt so confident, powerful, and in-control. I made contact with two women, one ended in an intimate encounter. But the main thing was that I, for the first time, KNEW that I was "DJ." I felt like there was fire coming off of my hands I was so hot. And women NOTICED this...suddenly, even after getting back from vacation, I started to notice women eyeing me, looking me over.

But now I'm falling back into my old AFC habits. I'm not used to women looking at me...I'm getting nervous and turning away. The aforementioned intimate encounter has my sex drive going so crazy I think I'm out of control of it...I want to call up every girl I know and ask her out...but I'm nervous/excited as hell every time I get close to a woman, cuz I flash back into that sexual state and I lose control of my feelings and I get all choked and nervous because I've got feelings that want to be expressed in the wrong time and place and I can't control them.

It's like those Magic Eye books, where you stare at it for hours and you don't see crap, then suddenly your eyes relax and the picture starts to come in, and you have that irresistable urge to LOOK RIGHT AT IT, but when you do, you're just staring at wavy lines again.

I'm afraid I'm not disciplined enough yet to handle this newfound "power". Anyone else go through this? Thoughts? Suggestions?

 

[bugsquish]

Man, you have the mind of a Master DJ. You know it cuz you're offering very sensible advice to DJs of varying levels on this board every day - myself included Imagine you were on this board, asking yourself for advice. What would you tell yourself?
I think you'd say A)believe in the power of your knowledge. and B)remember that it doesn't matter if you express the wrong feelings cuz you'll probably not see her again, theres plenty of other chicks, and its all practise and learning anyhow. C) Stop thinking about it and JUST DO IT

Isn't that what you'd tell someone else who asked you? I reckon once you get in some practise and confidence you're straight to the top of the DJ food chain with ur knowledge

 

[WatchMeWalk]

My advice:

Next time you plan to go out, spend a couple of hours ogling pornography, BUT DON'T MASTURBATE. Then when you're on the field, you'll be macking like crazy to indulge your flesh hunger.
Do not fear this state.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by WatchMeWalk
My advice:

Next time you plan to go out, spend a couple of hours ogling pornography, BUT DON'T MASTURBATE. Then when you're on the field, you'll be macking like crazy to indulge your flesh hunger.
Do not fear this state.

But won't that make it worse?

 

[Ronin I]

Your post is somewhat contradictory in that if you are in this highly charged, sexual state you shouldn't be getting nervous and looking away when women look at you. You should be engaging them and dominating the eye contact - forcing them to look away first.

So is it that this state is intermittent - that sometimes you have it sometimes you don't?

Lately that is how it has been for me - in the mornings I'm so groggy and out of it that I don't look twice at a HB. But by the afternoon I'm usually engaging in some serious eye contact with every HB I walk past.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Ronin I
Your post is somewhat contradictory in that if you are in this highly charged, sexual state you shouldn't be getting nervous and looking away when women look at you. You should be engaging them and dominating the eye contact - forcing them to look away first.

So is it that this state is intermittent - that sometimes you have it sometimes you don't?

Lately that is how it has been for me - in the mornings I'm so groggy and out of it that I don't look twice at a HB. But by the afternoon I'm usually engaging in some serious eye contact with every HB I walk past.

I don't know...I think I may just be panicking...I'm afraid I'm going to lose this high point I've attained...the feeling of finally starting to "get it" was like some kind of drug...now I'm crashing from it and I'm desperate to get it back, but being desperate for that attitude again just takes me further away from it.

It's like I'm asking myself, "Am I still DJ? Do I still have it?" And this kind of self-doubt is contrary to the "DJ Attitude."

The other thing is that a lot of people are looking to me for advice all of a sudden...PMing me and asking me, "What do I do in this situation?" and I'm afraid of giving them wrong advice, or worse, making them reliant on advice from some message board. From ME of all people...it makes me feel like I need to make sure I'm "DJ" so I can help other people be "DJ".

Does any of this make sense?

 

[WatchMeWalk]

Originally posted by squirrels
But won't that make it worse?

No. What you described in your original post is not a "sexual state" but a hesitant, AFC state. Do a search on this forum for the Gunwich Method. I swear by it

 

[fan27]

I had a date with this woman on Saturday. I took care of myself early in the day because I was very horny and knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate on the task at hand. Result: I played hard to get when we got back to my place and she was the one who was ripping my clothes off. There is no way I could have pulled this off if I hadn't gotten off earlier. Maybe some of you guys out there have the discipline to control your sexual desires, but I just get to dam horny.

Solution: Masturbate enough to bring yourself back in control, but not to much to where your drive is gone.

 

[Ronin I]

Originally posted by squirrels
I don't know...I think I may just be panicking...I'm afraid I'm going to lose this high point I've attained...the feeling of finally starting to "get it" was like some kind of drug...now I'm crashing from it and I'm desperate to get it back, but being desperate for that attitude again just takes me further away from it.

It's like I'm asking myself, "Am I still DJ? Do I still have it?" And this kind of self-doubt is contrary to the "DJ Attitude."

The other thing is that a lot of people are looking to me for advice all of a sudden...PMing me and asking me, "What do I do in this situation?" and I'm afraid of giving them wrong advice, or worse, making them reliant on advice from some message board. From ME of all people...it makes me feel like I need to make sure I'm "DJ" so I can help other people be "DJ".

Does any of this make sense?

Yes this makes perfect sense to me and I know exactly where you are coming from. I was at a high point in my DJness about 2 months ago and then I kind of hit a wall and have been teetering just above my old AFCness. Some days are worse than others. A lot of it has to do with me being under a lot more stress (work, school, etc) and not having as much time or energy to go out and engage others as I had been.

Here is how how view it. You are a human being. You are going to have your good days and your bad days - your good weeks and you bad weeks, etc.
Things tend to run in cycles. Last week you cycled through a high point in your DJness - it's only natural that you cycle back down a bit.
The point is that unless your some sort of 18th degree black belt DJ that has mastered all there is to DonJuanism, you are not going to be able to operate at the highest level ALL of the time. You are human and will have your moments of weakness (as we all do).
So what we should strive to do is raise the level of our cycle. In doing so our highest level of DJness will be higher than it ever has been before and our low points will be higher than your previous low points. In effect you long run average DJness will be higher. That is why it is important no matter how long you have been "training" to keep at t -keep trying to get better. Keep your skills honed - if you dont they will wither.

Anyway I know this post is chock full of analogies and metaphors but I hope you get the gist of what I'm trying to say.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by WatchMeWalk
No. What you described in your original post is not a "sexual state" but a hesitant, AFC state. Do a search on this forum for the Gunwich Method.

Yes it's AFC...that's why I'm sitting here wondering, "How could I be so DJ one day, then so AFC the next day?"

I think maybe I lost control...got too anxious or something. I'm seeing this panicky, unsure, desperate state coming out in everything I'm doing recently and I'm trying to figure out where I "lost it." I know what I SHOULD be doing...

Maybe it's just my old AFC side scrambling for ground in a battle it can't win...maybe I need to stop b--ching about it on some messageboard and do something about it.

 

[The Real Deal]

" Maybe it's just my old AFC side scrambling for ground in a battle it can't win..."

You're right, it won't let go. (subconscious) But I just read some advice from you to someone else that tells me you know what you're doing.

" It sounds like somewhere along the line, you became predictable, manipulatable, overprotective, insecure, or took on some other trait(s) that made you romantically uninteresting. "
(conscious)

 

[3rdeye]

about the nervousness when ur close to a women.. i had the same problem, actually its still there.
no matter how hard i try to ignore it, its still there.. i think the worst thing is i havent found a way to calm myself.
ill give you an example.

im on the dance floor grindin away with some hb, then i notice willy the one eye'd wonder is standin at full attention... its embarrasing cause i cant seem to control it.. i dont care what the girls think but i know it could drive some away.

ive tried the pre-wack before goin out, hoping this wouldnt happen, but time after time i come across the same problem.
i havent found a solution yet, but for right now im not goin to worry about it as much. so im kinda in the same boat.
what i can do that i think might work, is just keep doin it till it feels natual with out the willy in the way.
sorry that i dont have any advise but your not alone. an im lookin for a solution too..