I think I'm in love with 45 year old co-worker

latino158

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I'm 30 years old and single. I have known her for 6 months, and we have worked together, next to each other for months, we would go everywhere together, break time, parking lot, workplace, etc.

We became kind close, she would bring me food, cookies, sometimes I would touch her hands, or give her a 5 second massage, she would let me. I have her on facebook, whatsapp. I even made a drawing of her, would bring her food, coffee. We kiss on the cheeks.

I cannot deny I found her attractive the first time I saw her, and the only reason I'm around her is because of this. She is the only person I care about at work. When there are other male coworkers around her (rarely), I kinda feel jealous. She is married, and has 2 kids. I know she only sees me as a kid. She told me, you are still a baby.

Now, we work in different areas, and I barely see her anymore. The few times I see her, we talk, but she plays with her phone, or barely talks to me. I think she probably has realized I feel something for her, and now shes acts different around me, without noticing it, I became too clingy/needy, constantly going to say hello, goodbye, whenever I go to see her, and she is with her female friends, she barely responds to me, basically don't pay attention to me, and continues talking with her friends, which means she don't really care if I go there or not. She did this a few days ago, and I just left without saying a word, I felt hurt inside, I couldn't help feeling this way.

I told her many times that I only go to that area for her. She told me that she is gonna leave in a few months, I think she noticed my sadness, I almost cried when she said that.

I don't know why I feel this way, probably because I never experienced love when I was younger, never had any friends, never had people love me for who I am, my parents never really loved me. I think I feel something for her, but I would never tell her. It is probably best for me to cut all contact with her from now on, but deep down, I want to see her again so bad, even if she barely talks to me.
 

amazingswayze

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the pain never stops bro... just know that regardless of how this turns out, it will make you a better man. keep your head up. this woman is overrated.
 

latino158

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MR.LPC said:
the pain never stops bro... just know that regardless of how this turns out, it will make you a better man. keep your head up. this woman is overrated.
She looks good for her age. We became really close for some reason. I'm a very introverted and private person, and is hard for me open up to others, but with her I feel different. I know she would never see me as man. I swore before to never be a whiteknight, or clinger, and that is exactly what I became.

I even asked her out for coffee, as friends, but she said, someday when we are free lol, so I never tried again. I even told her, that if she leaves, I would never forget her. lol so pathetic now that I think about it
 

latino158

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Young OG said:
She's married and 2 kids. Find someone that is single.

How would you like it if you were her husband and she cheated on you? Kids are involved here. Leave it alone.
is not like I'm trying anything, I simply act as a regular friend, I know she would reject me. She is not attracted to me anyway, so nothing would ever happen. It is a platonic love.
 

Skyline

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That feeling that you feel for her is NOT exclusive to her... Other women can make you feel like this, so go find them.
 

Bible_Belt

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Maybe you want her so much because you can't have her? Has that occurred to you? Developing feelings for someone you know you can't have is a convenient excuse to keep yourself from feeling the same way about available women. A realistic relationship might lead to you getting hurt, so that's why you are clinging to the idea of an unrealistic one.
 

El Payaso

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latino158 said:
is not like I'm trying anything, I simply act as a regular friend, I know she would reject me. She is not attracted to me anyway, so nothing would ever happen. It is a platonic love.
Stop lying to yourself. Platonic love my a$$.
 

archon8692

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She was your work wife. You spend a ton of time with people at work so people tend to pair up:

http://www.gq.com/story/office-wife

The thing is...it will NEVER lead anywhere. You developed a case of oneitis from it. You're not in love with her...you're obsessing over her. When she moved from the area you work in...she forgot about you. You're acting like a beta and being sad over something that wasn't really there.

It's painful but you have to get out and spin plates. In a lot of ways...this arrangement was just convenient for you to not be lonely or have to date...but it could lead nowhere. Getting her away from you should propel you forward with new women.

She's 45! 15 years older than you! That's pretty crazy of an age difference.
 

archon8692

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Mauser96 said:
She is married to someone else.

There is no question here.
Yep. Women in the workplace will manipulate people too. Did you...by chance...help her do work or do her work for her?
 

ucde

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latino158 said:
I don't know why I feel this way, probably because I never experienced love when I was younger, never had any friends, never had people love me for who I am, my parents never really loved me. I think I feel something for her, but I would never tell her. It is probably best for me to cut all contact with her from now on, but deep down, I want to see her again so bad, even if she barely talks to me.
Listen to me, broseph. Your heart is sending you a message that *you care about this person*.

If you ignore that, you do so at your own peril. There is a reason why the heart hungers for what it hungers for. Deep, deep reasons.

Follow that feeling, my friend, if you wish to. I have followed my feelings and they led me to magical places, that I can't easily talk about in words. You may only share a moment together, you may only go out once, but sometimes one conversation can change your life, and one shared glance will teach you more about what love is, than you ever thought possible. Good luck.
 

Igetit!

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ucde said:
Listen to me, broseph. Your heart is sending you a message that *you care about this person*.

If you ignore that, you do so at your own peril. There is a reason why the heart hungers for what it hungers for. Deep, deep reasons.

Follow that feeling, my friend, if you wish to. I have followed my feelings and they led me to magical places, that I can't easily talk about in words. You may only share a moment together, you may only go out once, but sometimes one conversation can change your life, and one shared glance will teach you more about what love is, than you ever thought possible. Good luck.

Ok,ummm......if I misunderstood your post here,I apologize in advance,and feel free to straighten me out......but are you suggesting that the OP actually PURSUE this woman? :confused:
 

archon8692

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ucde said:
Listen to me, broseph. Your heart is sending you a message that *you care about this person*.

If you ignore that, you do so at your own peril. There is a reason why the heart hungers for what it hungers for. Deep, deep reasons.

Follow that feeling, my friend, if you wish to. I have followed my feelings and they led me to magical places, that I can't easily talk about in words. You may only share a moment together, you may only go out once, but sometimes one conversation can change your life, and one shared glance will teach you more about what love is, than you ever thought possible. Good luck.
She's MARRIED with TWO KIDS and he WORKS with her. He's going to potentially get sexual harassment charges filed and potentially lose his job if he doesn't just forget about her.

He needs to go out and meet other women and forget about this before he messes up his life.
 

ucde

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yah, I'd say if married its more of a leave it alone thing... haha, maybe meditate on the feelings you have about her,... sorry
 

archon8692

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ucde said:
oh sorry, I didnt get she was married.
Besides the married...there are A BUNCH of reasons not to do this.

Some of them:
-She's 15 years older.
-She's 45.
-She basically blows him off now that she changed depts.
-It's oneitis.
 
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