I think I just got blown off...

[Ronin I]

Previous thread...

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=30119

The long and short of it is I was supposed to hang out with this girl Thur. but instead of calling to cancel she IM's me on AIM instead (while I'm away from my computer.)

So I shrug it off and call her Sat early evening (I get the machine and leave a quick message).

Then Monday night I get out of class and decide to call her again _quite frankly this girl's the queen of mixed signals and I'm just trying to figure out where she stands. Granted I could've been a bit more patient but whatever. I've wasted enough time already.

So we chat for a bit (turns out she was away at her 5 yr college reunion all weekend - which is why she didn;t return my call).

I call her out about Thur. I pretty much say, "Hey what happened on Thur. I know we didn;t have definite plans but you should've at least called. That's not like you."

She dances, at first says that she did call and then "remembers" that she didn't and apologizes. I say I'll let it slide this time.

So - she says she's thinking about buying a car and there's a "tent sale" at the mall this week that she's going to this week,
I immediately recommend that she buy a Honda or Toyota as IMO those are the best cars and she says that since I know so much about cars I should go with her. I say sure, but that my expertise doesn't come for free .

I then say we should do something this weekend - she seems enthusiastic about it - I then cut the call short as I had to go. She then says "OK - well, it's my turn to call you now."

And I was like OK - bye. I was a caught a little off guard by this. So pretty much she was either 1) taking responsibility and realizing that I've been the aggressor and she hasn't really been meeting me half way and she can tell I'm getting tired of it OR 2) it was a nice way for her to say - don;t call me I'll call you if I still have ANY interest which I really don't.

So, I think I just got blown off!

Only time will tell....

 

[Tryin to Grow a Chin]

Originally posted by Ronin I


So I shrug it off and call her Sat early evening (I get the machine and leave a quick message).

Don't ever do that again.

Then Monday night I get out of class and decide to call her again _quite frankly this girl's the queen of mixed signals and I'm just trying to figure out where she stands. Granted I could've been a bit more patient but whatever. I've wasted enough time already.

You're right, you are wasting your time. Girls usually don't give mixed signals. Anything on her part that you interpret as mixed signals are actually signs of disinterest.

So we chat for a bit (turns out she was away at her 5 yr college reunion all weekend - which is why she didn;t return my call).

That may or may not be true- but by this point I would have bailed on her anyway.

I call her out about Thur. I pretty much say, "Hey what happened on Thur. I know we didn;t have definite plans but you should've at least called. That's not like you."

That is like her- when she's not particularly interested.

She dances, at first says that she did call and then "remembers" that she didn't and apologizes. I say I'll let it slide this time.

She's feeding you a line of shyt. NEXT HER!

So - she says she's thinking about buying a car and there's a "tent sale" at the mall this week that she's going to this week,
I immediately recommend that she buy a Honda or Toyota as IMO those are the best cars and she says that since I know so much about cars I should go with her. I say sure, but that my expertise doesn't come for free .

She may or may not have any romantic interest in you at this point ( I doubt she does), but it shouldn't matter anyway. You should be moving on to the next girl.

I then say we should do something this weekend - she seems enthusiastic about it - I then cut the call short as I had to go. She then says "OK - well, it's my turn to call you now."

She's telling you she doesn't want you to keep calling her like that. Leaving that message was a mistake.

And I was like OK - bye. I was a caught a little off guard by this. So pretty much she was either 1) taking responsibility and realizing that I've been the aggressor and she hasn't really been meeting me half way and she can tell I'm getting tired of it OR 2) it was a nice way for her to say - don;t call me I'll call you if I still have ANY interest which I really don't.

If she were interested then she wouldn't have any problem with you being the aggressor; generally that is the male's role anyway. Number two sounds about right.

So, I think I just got blown off!

Only time will tell....

I think you're right. Oh well.

is

 

[Ronin I]

Hey trying to grow a chin -

Thanks for the reply - I agree with much of what you said.
Few Comments -

-she was away for the weekend - I know that she wasnt lying about that.

-she has always been good about returning phone calls and calling when she said we should - until last Thur - that was the first time (in the 2 months that Ive known her)

-what is the big deal about leaving a message? It's not like this is the first time I'm calling her - granted I probably just shouldve hung back and waited for her to call me but I admittedly got a little inpatient.

**Sigh** all too often these b!tches leave me scratching my head. Whatever.

 

[Ronin I]

Ah!!

She just called!! Maybe I didn't get blown off after all!

I told her I was in the middle of something and would call her back later. (total bullsh!t but whatever. I think I've made myself seem too available so such tactics may be in order at this point).

 

[Legend]

ah....the things we go through with women. Sure you feel good now that she has called, just wait until she pulls the same shyt. It gets old really fast.....

 

[Ronin I]

Originally posted by Legend
ah....the things we go through with women. Sure you feel good now that she has called, just wait until she pulls the same shyt. It gets old really fast.....

Yeah, it's funny - I was happy initially that she called but then the thought - that she was just calling to finally tell me flat out she wasn't interested anymore - crossed my mind.

We'll see -

as much as women get on my nerves at least they keep things interesting.

 

[Dimebag_Darrell]

NEEEEEEEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Ronin I]

Not just yet....

Gentlemen, I appreciate your input and I know that most of you would say NEXT this b!tch...BUT...

I called her back and we had a good conversation. Initially it started about her asking me advice about what kind of car to buy. She told me she went to the auto show today and some guy drove her around in a golf cart giving her the same kind of advice that I gave her. So we started along this dialogue about cars and what she is and isn't looking for, blah, blah, blah.

Then something funny happened.

She started talking about how she didnt know the difference between a 4 cylinder and a 6 cylinder at which point I decided to playfully label her a "dork". Her response was "well it's about time". I said "about time what? About time I realized you were a dork or about time I said it?" She said "both". After that she was eating out of my hand.

She was like "so when are we hanging out his weekend", etc and the convo progresses further and she was talking about us hanging on Thursdays after she's done teaching.

Bottom line: Her IL skyrocketed after I busted her balls a little bit here and there. AMAZING.

So I had some friends show up at my house and I cut the convo short -but we are definitely going out this Sat.

Another interesting point - she asked me how I rate myself on a scale of 1 to 10 and initially I said 10. Then I pulled back and said, "well I'm a good man but that doesnt mean I dont have room for improvement so I'll say 9"

She rated herself a 7 or 8. Hmmmmm....I'd say that's about right.

I have no idea where things will go between me and her but what I do know is that the C&F has never failed me.

I mean I was totally in a positon where I completely thought this girl was about to NEXT me but I never relented. I stayed focused and never lost sight that I was the prize. If she chose to NEXT me, well that's her loss.

I won the battle tonight, it remains to be seem if I'll win the war.

 

[InLawsHateMe]

If you are going out with her to look for a car, test drive some cars too, and tell her you'll race her on the highway, the loser buys dinner.

 

[vdk]

you should keep your distance from her. The moment you start going AFC you're out, not many guys get second chances, let alone third chances. It seems you are getting really attached to this chick. Just go easy and perhaps hit on her friends if you find them attractive. Remember having girl-- friends is a good thing.

 

[T.T. Boy]

Well, hope springs eternal, I guess. We'll see what happens in the end.

 

[Quick]

I haven't seen anything that's a definite deal-breaker with this girl. She should have called you to cancel, but if you expect anyone to be perfect, you're going to be real lonely. I also don't understand why some people are quick to say you blew it, by doing something like leaving a message when you shouldn't have. Sure, it was her responsibility to call you after canceling, but one mistake like that is never the reason for a girl to blow you off. A girl who has interest will only lose it because of a series of small AFC behaviors, or one obvious major screwup.

 

[Ronin I]

Originally posted by Quick
I haven't seen anything that's a definite deal-breaker with this girl. She should have called you to cancel, but if you expect anyone to be perfect, you're going to be real lonely. I also don't understand why some people are quick to say you blew it, by doing something like leaving a message when you shouldn't have. Sure, it was her responsibility to call you after canceling, but one mistake like that is never the reason for a girl to blow you off. A girl who has interest will only lose it because of a series of small AFC behaviors, or one obvious major screwup.

Thanks Quick - I agree with you 100%.

 

[Ronin I]

LJBFed but not exactly...

UPDATE:

Well we went out on Sat nite to the comedy club - (she paid for the tickets - I paid for dinner) -we had a great time. Then we rented a movie and went back to her house (she paid for the movie and to put gas in my car as I was running on E).

So before the movie starts I lean in and give her a kiss. We put the movie on and half way through I tell her to sit in front of me so I can give her a nice neck and back massage. She loves it as I am very good at these massages .

We then lay down and watch the rest of the movie - she falls asleep. The movie is about to end she wakes up.

She looks tired so I spank her ass and playfully yell at her for falling asleep. She half-wakes up but I tell her she looks tired and should go asleep. She agrees. After I put on my shoes I grab her, pick her up and throw her back on her kitchen table and we start making out. After a minute or two - she pulls back. WTF!

So I get to the door - give her a kiss goodnight and as I'm leaving she says, "I just like to take it slow in that department". I'm like "It's cool - I just want you to be comfortable with me. Sleep well" And I leave.


So I call her tonight at around 10pm. We chat for a bit about father's day and I'm like "You know, I just want you to know that I respect that you like to take things slow - I'm the same way. You told me at dinner that you feel very comfortable when you're with me and I want things to stay that way."

We then proceeded to have the first semi-serious conversation we've had in the time we've known each other. "She's like I am very comfortable when I'm with you except in those moments - and I don't know why. I feel awkward in those moments"

So I'm like "I can tell."

She's says "And I don't understand why. I don't know if it's because I met you in a bar, or because I think of you as a friend or because I'm not ready....I recently had a bad experience and I was kind of looking forward to this summer so I could kind of get out and you know... see what's out there. I wasn't expecting this to happen."

I say "I can totally relate. That's what I've been doing for the last year - dating around, just seeing what's out there."

She says "So what are you looking for? a relationship? something light?"

I say "Well honestly I've never been the type to sleep around. I am more of a relationship guy. But I don't try to force things - I've found if you do, you're just doomed to fail. You have to just let things develop naturally."

She says "I've always thought of myself as a relationship girl , but because I haven't been in a relationship in so long (2 1/2 yrs) I've been starting to change how I look at myself. I'm not sure if it's because I haven't had the opportunity or what it is"

I say "Actually that's one of the things I like about you. I've met so many women that need to be in a relationship to feel normal and obviously you don't. To me that's the foundation you need to eventually have a stable, healthy relationship."

She agrees and also agrees that it's best to have things develop naturally. She also gives the obligatory "I don't know what I want".

I say "No stress. I didn't mean to call you up and get into some serious conversation. Up until now we've just gone out and had fun together"

She says "Yeah. You've been great. I have fun when whenvever we go out - and you haven't done anything wrong. I thought to myself that we should talk about this - because it's not like I'm fifteen years old or something."

I say - "no kidding. well let's just see what happens."

That was about it --- she told me her plans for the week and I said I'd give her a call and maybe we'd do something.

 

[Grey Fox]

NEXT!

Please read this carefully: She said she had problems making out with you due to the fact that she is either uncomfortable because she meet you in a bar(strange horny dude) or your just a friend to her(she's not interested). When she told you didn't do anything wrong thats ******** for you shouldn't have done that. Really stop calling her, let it slide, and find some else, she had a perfect oppurtunity to pursue something with you. After 2 and a half years of looking at herself differently she knows what she wants, trust me. And she is trying to be nice, and let you down easy. The fact that she passed up making out and possibly banging you use a huge deal breaker. NEXT

-Grey Fox

 

[dontmindme]

Just based on that last conversation, she seems to be a pretty mature, level-headed girl. But now you have to see how in tune her mind is with her body.

 

[Ronin I]

Re: NEXT!

Originally posted by Grey Fox
Please read this carefully: She said she had problems making out with you due to the fact that she is either uncomfortable because she meet you in a bar(strange horny dude) or your just a friend to her(she's not interested). When she told you didn't do anything wrong thats ******** for you shouldn't have done that. Really stop calling her, let it slide, and find some else, she had a perfect oppurtunity to pursue something with you. After 2 and a half years of looking at herself differently she knows what she wants, trust me. And she is trying to be nice, and let you down easy. The fact that she passed up making out and possibly banging you use a huge deal breaker. NEXT

-Grey Fox

Yes Grey Fox - I know her even remotely describing me as a "friend" is the kiss of death.

When she told me I didn't do anything wrong she wasn't referring to the kiss per say but the things I've done over the passed two months since we met.

Yeah I plan on moving on trust me. I have a cell phone full of numbers from sarging this past month.

I don't know about her knowing what she wants. I don't think women ever know what they want (that involves rational thought). They do know what they feel. And for some reason it seems that I wasn't able to make her FEEL the way I would've liked her to.

She did say at one point in the convo that she didn't know what she wanted but then later said that she does want a relationship. (confused - contradicting herself)

I said "Yeah I know. I had a girl ask me me a similar question and I said, 'I don't want a girlfriend but if the right girl came along I'd want a girlfriend'"

We'll see what happens. Most likely I just won't call her - but if she does happen to call me I'll probably lay the official LJBF on her. Not sure exactly how I should go about it - probably something to the effect of we seem to be looking for different things, etc, etc.

Truth is I am a little disappointed - she really is a GOOD girl. Outside of her disinterest in getting physical with me I have no complaints with her as a person. Truth is she's cute but she never exactly lit my fire - I think I've been kind of spurred on by the challenge more than anything.

 

[One on One]

No reason at all to NEXT her. Decide what you want with her and go for it. If you're indecisive about what you want, she'll see that and things won't be good...just make a decision about how serious you want to be. And, don't call her quite as often.

 

[Donny Brasco]

Curious situation....
Here's my 2 cents.
It sounds like your talking yourself out of it, and that might be a good thing. I found out that the fun and excitement builds during the "game" of it all and laying your cards like that on the table kinda makes the game a little boring. So I'm thinking that perhaps this whole thing is doomed, unless you can build that drama again, and make yourself more attractive.
However, maybe you shouldn't get to involved with this chick, because either you'll get walked all over or you'll just end up phucking her and losing interest.
Thats just my experience though.
Good storyline.