I think I have Avoidant Personality Disorder, should I use medical drugs?

[MVP]

From wikipedia definition:
"Avoidant personality disorder (sometimes abbreviated APD or AvPD), or anxious personality disorder, is a personality disorder characterised by a pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation"

In the leading psychological DSM IV diagnosis criteria, they say if you have 4 or more out of the 7, you have APD:

-avoids activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection
-is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked
-shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed
-is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations
-is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy
-views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others
-is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing

I probably have 4 of them, maybe 5. I don't have problems in an intimate relationship, but just that I generally avoid situations that have lots of people 'cause I feel like I'm being judged.

"Research suggests that people with avoidant personality disorder, in common with social phobics, excessively monitor their own internal reactions when they are involved in social interaction. However, unlike social phobics they also excessively monitor the reactions of the people with whom they are interacting. The extreme tension created by this monitoring may account for the hesitant speech and taciturnity (it means being reserved/keeping thoughts to yourself/not saying more than necessary) of many people with avoidant personality disorder. They are so preoccupied with monitoring themselves and others that producing fluent speech is difficult.

People with avoidant personality disorder often experience vicious cycles of withdrawal in which the avoidant helps to create the anticipated rejection (Kantor, 1993, Chapter 5). Other people interpret the avoidance of the person with APD as a sign that the avoidant does not like them, and react by avoiding the person. This reinforces the avoidant's fear of rejection and encourages further withdrawal."

So basically it's kind of tough for me to either approach a girl, or also be in that "social state". A lot of times I just don't have that feeling of interacting, or I come off as a bit awkward because my conversational skills are not that great. I also tend to have an urge not to go to certain events/parties if I don't feel the vibe, which is quite often. Some drugs, such as Zoloft could help. What are your thoughts on this? And has anybody tried these drugs?

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no



#1 rule:

Do NOT start reading definitions of disorders you think you MAY have, or Self-Diagnosing yourself, on the internet. You will start to think you have everything from ADD to rectal cancer. Trust me...... there are way too many simillar symptoms for various conditions.


all you need is a good kick in the ass to get you more social. Life is not that complicated. Get out and become proactive. It's YOUR life.

Lookup the negative side effects of zoloft, Paxil and other anti-depressants. Then, tell me if you really want to be on that stuff. most of the time, the side effects are worse then the condition they're supposed to treat.

Stay away from the drugs. Your doctor will put you on them, because thats his job.... it doesn't mean he's right.

P.S. If you want to become a stale, emotionless robot, go on these drugs. I was perscribed Paxil for anxiety and I was as dry as a popcorn fart. No joy, no sadness, no anger, no nothing.

I gave it all up, because I knew better and i beat my anxiety on my own. drug free

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

And do you realise that pretty much all of those criteria apply to everyone in the world?

when has anyone never felt those kinds of situations?

We all have!

 

[treefingers]

IF you feel the problem is preventing you from doing things that you want to do then by all means track down a real good psychiatrist. I believe drugs should be a last resort so try and see if you can get referred to a good psychologist that can help you through it. If that fails then feel free to try some drugs but if you go that route do it under the care of a real good psychiatrist who knows his **** not some family doctor.

but there is a very real difference between being "shy" and having a REAL mental problem.

 

[cave dweller]

no...........

MVP,

To hell with all of that shvt.

Trust me.

You have a choice here---You can spend the rest of your life on drugs and being fvcked up in the head or you can get off of your @ss and get a life.

1..Get a job, hell get two jobs.

2..Get you a GF and a shot of pvssy once in awhile.

3..Get some friends.

4..Get a hobby.

5..Bottom line here--- get a life.

cave dweller

 

[Tomatoes]

See a doctor not wikipedia if you think your ill. Mentally or physically.

IE. I have a stomach ache. Doctor: Im just bloated. wikipedia: i have terminal bowl cancer.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Do what you fear most, and you control your fear.

-find activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, for overcoming fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection

-get involved with people where you are not certain of being liked

-show little restraint within intimate relationships without fear of being shamed or ridiculed

-be criticized or rejected in social situations (and notice that life goes on)

-Navigate new interpersonal situations without feelings of inadequacy

-Reject views of yourself as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others

-Take personal risks and engage in any new activities that may prove embarrassing

 

[paranoid_schizo]

i bet the person who edited wikipedia just looked up the definition on another website. a personality disorder isn't just those criteria listed, otherwise 99% of the population can be labeled as having a personality disorder. a personality disorder has to cause the person to have significant problems to be considered a disorder. notice the word 'disorder'. for example, an avoidant person who has NEVER had a friend or just have one friend but rarely speaks to. a borderline person goes to prison repeatedly for infractions along the lines of assaulting a police officer. one of the other posters on this board stated that he considered suicide due to his shyness, that's a disorder. if your personality doesn't cause you any problems other than having trouble with women, you're just shy. just like me.

on to treatment, the only recommended treatment for ANY personality disorder is behavioral therapy. which you're getting right here on this discussion board. strange, no? it might be better for you to join some group therapy so that you can see in real life(and not on the web) how other people are having the same problems you are. most of the tips that these people are giving are good and probably what a psychiatrist would tell you anyway. SSRIs(not really recommended by any psychiatric organization, just by the pharm companies) can alleviate some of the anxiety and that can get you in the door so to speak. the treatment with SSRIs would be limited, not indefinite unless you found a rather unscrupulous pyschiatrist who's in need of patients. those are few and far in between, believe me. most psychiatrist are too damn busy and they would drop more patients if they ethically could.

 

[Zeph]

Originally posted by MVP
From wikipedia definition:
"Avoidant personality disorder (sometimes abbreviated APD or AvPD), or anxious personality disorder, is a personality disorder characterised by a pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation"

You need to be practising courage, instead of avoidance.

Frankly, this could also be toxic shame, or 25 other things. I very highly recommend No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover. Just reading the book changed my life. Doing the exercises helped out a lot too.

Also another product that has worked well for me is this audio CD. Within about three listenings, I could feel the changes that were going on inside of me. Dissolving Panic & Anxiety Now!

 

[everywomanshero]

I think you need a wing....

I didn't want to pick up any negative traits (sorry), so I only read every third line... My guess is that you need to get a wing so you will feel less pressure approaching.

If you cannot approach even with a wing, then I think you need to get professional help and medication. I'm not saying that to be mean, but I just want you to be able to approach and start enjoying your life more.

Whoever said get a job and be more active, I agree 100%.

 

[penkitten]

the side effects of some medicines are worse than the symtoms.

 

[MVP]

Thanks for the replies.

cave dweller, I'll try to get more of a life.

everywomanshero, you pick up negative traits by reading them?

 

[everywomanshero]

YEs

Reading or hanging around negative people will slowly rub off on you and detract your vibe. DO NOT wing with anyone who is old, a loser, or overly negative as they will lower your value and state.

That is my belief.

 

[backbreaker]

I swear in like 5-10 years, I'm going to be watching TV and there is going to be an add that says something like:

"are you breathing? Do you go to sleep at night, only to find you wake up in the morning? Well this drug is for you"


America, hell business in gerneral, cashes in on your insecurities.

Basically all Advoidant Personality Disorder means is that you are shy.. hell everyone has been shy at one point in your life..

What can drugs do? Help make you feel okay about being shy? Because they won't fix the actual probelm at hand.. only you can fix that

 

[Warlord]

Re: no...........

Originally posted by cave dweller
MVP,

To hell with all of that shvt.

Trust me.

You have a choice here---You can spend the rest of your life on drugs and being fvcked up in the head or you can get off of your @ss and get a life.

1..Get a job, hell get two jobs.

2..Get you a GF and a shot of pvssy once in awhile.

3..Get some friends.

4..Get a hobby.

5..Bottom line here--- get a life.

cave dweller

I like this post. MANY of us DJs have a mental disorder one or another. MANY of us are here because we have problems getting women. The thing is not many of us DJs have the above. We might have one or two, but it means nothing because we limit our own lives to one or two things and expect everything else to fall in when it won't!

Don't forget "working out/being healthy too."

 

[Caesar20]

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

#1 rule:

Do NOT start reading definitions of disorders you think you MAY have, or Self-Diagnosing yourself, on the internet. You will start to think you have everything from ADD to rectal cancer. Trust me...... there are way too many simillar symptoms for various conditions.

LOL, yeah i could say much about this. do not do this, it'll **** you even more (from personal experience).
also, do not become a forum lurker. do anything else, like perhaps learn to work on computer (specific program) that'll land you a job eventually.

-find activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, for overcoming fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection

name a couple, please.


and get yourself Autogenic training book.
it's basically the same brainwashing that you induce on yourself (i am socially inept....) but in the other direction - you start inducing positive thoughts. it's said to work.

 

[SnowBlind77]

it just sounds like you have zero confidence in any situations, and i used to be the exact same way. I wouldnt hit on chicks cuz of what i thought other people would say or do. but seriously man, how is that any way to live. who really gives f*ck what anyone else thinks. if there wasting all their time judging you, then they're the ones with no life right? just take some time, and indulge in yourself. do things that make you happy, and try new things. go cliffjumping, do soem extreme sh*t, and you'll feel the confidence rise.

 

[realsmoothie]

I've always been anxious in general, and I do believe a little bit of that is biologically based.

But I have learned to get over most of it. I'll never be quite the extrovert that others are, but I am functional.

Drugs are good for SOME people. But they are (as someone already noted) also something to be bought and sold, so in North America they are considered a panacea for everything.

The side-effects can be substantial. My sex-drive dropped by at least half when I was on Effexor... IMMEDIATELY. Couldn't jerk-off to save my life. No feeling down there.