To seek an emotional bond or not to seek an emotional bond?
For the sake of demonstrating a point, I'm going to represent the pro-emotional-bonding camp and 'step to' PlayHer Man's assessment, challenging it with my own.
PlayHer Man said:
Once men abandon their desire to emotionally bond with women.. most of their problems with women will vanish.
Emphasis on *most*, as in, definitely not *all*. And that last little problem which remains after the sacrifice of the heart's desire to bond, may prove the most difficult problem of all: "How do I maintain a stable relationship when I have shirked the responsibility of relating authentically to another human being?" I see that as a problem for which I would gladly trade some of the other problems, that I theoretically had before I lost my desire to bond. Plainly put, this is going to reduce your relationships to the level of bootycalls, and the quality of women you can be with will go down accordingly. If your mechanism of relating emotionally was broken beyond repair, this *will* result in more sex than the other approach. I can see why it looks enticing, I also got sex using this method.
I just fail to see the logic behind trying to bond with them emotionally.
The logic goes something like this: the true binding force between human beings at any moment is their emotional connection. If fear, motives of profit or jealousy, intellectual agreement, social position and lust are all that hold us to together, it will be very hard to hold a relationship together since all these things are constantly varying, whereas emotional connections change but are stable bonding forces. This is why bootycalls usually last for a few weeks until the woman finds something better, it isnt a stable bond of any real kind.
They are best used for sex, entertainment and reproduction. The emotional component is unnecessary and demeaning to men.
Agree to disagree. Trying to scam sex from random people you dont care about, because you like their physical appearance, is one of the most degrading things I have ever experienced. And of course, I have actually done this, and with success.
Men were not meant to be groveling, sentimental, gossipy faggots who cuddle, giggle and pillow fight. Just saying.
I see tough-guy posturing and 'gossipy faggots' as two sides of the same coin: man's fear of his own emotions. Neither of these people has matured emotionally. Actually 'gossipy faggots' are mostly a mental construction inside the mind's of posturing tough guys, a foil to contrast themselves against in their struggle to represent a picture of strength and indomitable spirit. How many 'gossipy faggots' do you personally know?
All in good humor. I think I see where you're coming from but disagree on some fundamentals, PlayHer.