I think I got LJBF and I confronted her on it

[mahon83050]

I recently moved from New Jersey to Massachusetts. Before I moved I went out with a Colombian chick (only once) Right after our date, I left for Mass. For the next three weeks we e-mailed each other and called each other. (based on her actions, she seemed into me) Actually, she did most of the inititiating and always called me handsome (when she left messages) and talked how she wished I was in Jersey.

The point is, I e-mailed her around Valentine's day and offered her a big kiss on the lips. It may sound AFC, but she is foreign...so I figured I could be a little different. She wrote back, blah, blah and then she wrote...I don't see us anymore than just friends. Well I was upset ( I thought we had more than that) and I wrote back "typical". She called me after that and said what was with the attitude? I told her I was upset about the friend thing and thought we had more than that. I told her to stop wasting my time and not to be a tease. She went on to say, I do think your handsome and I am attracted, but I have to be friends with the person first. She seemed upset and she practically hung up on me. I was like...whatever.....

The whole point is, If I am attracted to a girl and both of us are single..I feel like it is a slap in the face if she does not romantically like me. (I.E, she thinks I am too nice or something, drives me nuts)

I really do not care about this particular girl per se...but that is not the point. The point is, I am a good catch and I refuse to be put in the LJBF zone to be her emotional tampon. Plenty of guys uglier and dumber than me have g/f (cute ones too) so I deserve one.

I may have acted AFC, but I wanted to confront her on it. I have not heard from her in 4 days and wonder maybe these South American girls really do do things different.

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by mahon83050

I really do not care about this particular girl per se...but that is not the point. The point is, I am a good catch and I refuse to be put in the LJBF zone to be her emotional tampon. Plenty of guys uglier and dumber than me have g/f (cute ones too) so I deserve one.

Get off my land.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

HAHAHA


Uh. Seriously. You fucked up when you copped a female like attitude. (i.e. confronting her on why she wants to "JUST BE FRIENDS".) Don't ask why. You make things worse. Move on.


NEXT!! HAH!

 

[belividere]

Alright, what did you do to make her want to be with you? How far did things end up getting?

If you went out once and knew you were moving why didn't you just toss the fish in the barrel and shot blindly?

I dont know your situation, but then again neither does anyone else on this board? You keep bringing up the "point". What does this mean to anyone here? So you realize for yourself that "uglier/dumber looking guys" have girlfriends. You still sit around single and jealous of these guys. How does that make you more attrative then them? These guys had the confidence to approach the girls and be honest with them up front. Now they are getting laid and you sit around calling them ugly.

Just because you are single and a girl you like is single doesn't mean that you are going to be together. You need to express interest. Oh my god, that is so AFC. But the AFC is hooking up with the girl that you want.

Go back and re-evaluate what an AFC is. Then think about what you wrote and what separates you from them. No matter what anyone on here says about AFC's take a deep look and post your differences. Maybe what you think is so AFC really isn't that AFC afterall. I mean they have the girls you wanted, right?

 

[Donald Kaufman]

The whole point is, If I am attracted to a girl and both of us are single..I feel like it is a slap in the face if she does not romantically like me. (I.E, she thinks I am too nice or something, drives me nuts)

If you are tired of girls thinking you are nice don't be nice. You have identified YOUR problem. Many people think you are nice or a jerk. There are lots of things between and besides. If you run into this problem regularly it might be you who has to change.

 

[Unbridled_1]

Mahon, re-read the post by mr.belvidere, that was an excellent analysis. Now, stop the whining and just do it.

 

[Wyldfire]

She doesn't see you as more than friends because you moved away. You shouldn't take it so personally. Also, after one date it's unreasonable to expect her to want to enter into something long distance.

 

[TizZle]

"That's too bad, I have enough friends. Have a nice day."

 

[Teen Spirit]

What you do not get is that the harder he tries to forget, the more he remembers. He is actually in denial and is not congruent with himself. Thats why he feels the way he feels.

A man is someone who will not try to forget but will instead accept what he did and act to not do the same things over again.

Your theory is flawed because you never actually forget that you were a loser. Your improvement is directly linked to the previous state you were in. In his case, he knows he is acting afc and that is the very reason he will never forget about his past: Being an afc is a theory linked to this website, wich is linked to the reason he joined.

Unless he can accept the fact that he was once a loser, he will always have to face that same feeling over and over again.

 

[Albion4]

Dude, you moved to Massachusetts. She even gave you a clue by saying, "I wish you were in Jersey." If I were a girl just starting to date a guy and he moved 250 miles away I think I would next him also. LDRs, no matter what people say, rarely work. Women want to feel protected and taken care of, how is this possible if you're a good 4 hours away?

-Al

 

[RoeCyris]

I think that belividere fellow is right on. But more than that i think your an egotistical JELOUS afc. i think thats the worst kind. It's alright to have an ego, in fact its strongly enouraged at this site but to be so egotistical and afc as to think:

If I am attracted to a girl and both of us are single..I feel like it is a slap in the face if she does not romantically like me.

will not lead to happiness or much success. DJ's KNOW that they are a worthy catch and thus make it evident thru action, you seem to be TELLING yourself that you are a worthy catch, which is a good start, but your almost whining, "im good why cant all of you idiot girls notice that im the greatest im good LIKE ME LIKE ME LIKE ME! Please..."


You feel like it is a slap in the face but you will have to learn that not EVERY girl is gonna like you, regaurdless of your looks, your talents and your abilities to DJ. I wouldnt say its a slap in the face so much as its a slap at your ability to mack. You need to learn to "let go" as frou frou says, "theres beuty in the breakdown."

I really do not care about this particular girl per se...but that is not the point. The point is, I am a good catch and I refuse to be put in the LJBF zone to be her emotional tampon. Plenty of guys uglier and dumber than me have g/f (cute ones too) so I deserve one.

You seem to be contradicting yourself. I know the feeling cuz i use to do this too! You dont care but you refuse to not be liked by her. "Emotional tampon"? Sounds interesting but if you dont wanna be it then dont.

And no man deserves "a girl". We earn each girl individually. Go throw some elbow greese in ur game and move on.




Thats just my feelings based on your one post so i could be way off.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

1. Ditch the ego. You can be ****y, but letting yourself be egotistically bruised is something in the realm of AFC or worse.



2. Always LBJF first. Always. If you see the relationship heading downhill, revert to just friends. All girls, from a guys' perspective should be friends first. From a girls perspective, they could be f-friends first, possibly friends. But for your own power and balance, friend her first and even make that declaration known. Many girls desire a guy who they've known. I can't count the amount of girls who 'like friends' that would sleep with me. That should tell you about the power of balance, control, LBJF on the part of a guy.


3. Just because you're a great 'catch' in society's viewpoint, or your own viewpoint, doesn't mean you're 'right' for her. All that matters is her viewpoint, and until you know what, all else is shyt.




A-Unit

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

I also feel bad you moved further north to New England. While the land and country and atmosphere is great, as far as women go, it's the land "where women expect more and provide less, where their clothing style is wearing less, while carrying more."


When it's cold 50% of the year, a girl doesn't have to look tip top.



A-Unit

 

[mahon83050]

Re: Re:

Originally posted by A-Unit
I also feel bad you moved further north to New England. While the land and country and atmosphere is great, as far as women go, it's the land "where women expect more and provide less, where their clothing style is wearing less, while carrying more."


When it's cold 50% of the year, a girl doesn't have to look tip top.



A-Unit

Yea, the winters here are miserable. Jersey has a a bad rep that the people are rude, but I see no more friendliness in the Mass people.

 

[Don_Joffe]

Whats the point of drowning yourself and telling us you deserve a girl, if you deserve one and think you should have one, stop typing and go out and get one. If you fall into the friend zone , you only got yourself to blame, goodluck in getting out of it.
If she sees you no more as friends, why u bother? You made mistake somewhere along the line.