I think I finally found out my biggest problem (when it comes to getting girls). And no, my biggest problem isn't what I thought

[GoodMan32]

I thought my biggest problem was that I repeatedly fail the sh1t tests of girls who initially show interest in me.

After a discussion with a guy on a different online platform, he told me something else. He essentially said "If a girl is hellbent on sleeping with a guy, she's generally not going to give him sh1t tests. From the sounds of it, your problem isn't that you fail sh1t tests. Your problem is that girls lose interest once they get to know you better."

After reflecting on what he said, he's probably right.

As for what to do with this information? Since girls will lose interest once they get to know me better, the key is to get her into bed ASAP (before the girl has a chance to lose interest) once she's expressed interest in me.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I thought my biggest problem was that I repeatedly fail the sh1t tests of girls who initially show interest in me.

After a discussion with a guy on a different online platform, he told me something else. He essentially said "If a girl is hellbent on sleeping with a guy, she's generally not going to give him sh1t tests. From the sounds of it, your problem isn't that you fail sh1t tests. Your problem is that girls lose interest once they get to know you better."

After reflecting on what he said, he's probably right.

As for what to do with this information? Since girls will lose interest once they get to know me better, the key is to get her into bed ASAP (before the girl has a chance to lose interest) once she's expressed interest in me.

It's hard to say...are you someone that is boring or doesn't have much to offer them and that's why they lose interest?

Because it should be the other way around...they should become increasingly interested as they spend more time with you.

 

[GoodMan32]

It's hard to say...are you someone that is boring or doesn't have much to offer them and that's why they lose interest?

Because it should be the other way around...they should become increasingly interested as they spend more time with you.

I've mentioned on other posts that I'm on the spectrum. That's a big reason I make girls lose interest (without even trying to). It's become a consistent pattern where my instinct of what to say/do (when pursuing a girl) is wrong.

As for some other factors, as much as I hate to admit it, I am pretty boring. Additionally, I make less than 40k per year and don't own a car.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Maybe you should work on becoming a more interesting person.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've mentioned on other posts that I'm on the spectrum. That's a big reason I make girls lose interest (without even trying to). It's become a consistent pattern where my instinct of what to say/do (when pursuing a girl) is wrong.

As for some other factors, as much as I hate to admit it, I am pretty boring. Additionally, I make less than 40k per year and don't own a car.

You are going to need to work hard to overcome that. Might even work to your advantage to let them know up front so they don't just think you are a weirdo but might have a little more patience or might even try to help you out so you can learn.

Otherwise I think it's going to be pretty tough sledding, IMO

 

[Dr.Suave]

I've mentioned on other posts that I'm on the spectrum. I am pretty boring. Additionally, I make less than 40k per year and don't own a car.

What a catch.




See what I did there? Do that to girls, with a smirk. They wont think of you as boring.

 

[corrector]

Literally everyone is. That's why they call it a "spectrum". It's a colorful way of saying "everyone on the planet is like this, but in varying degrees. So let's put everyone on a bell curve and anything more than 3 standard deviations away from midline is part of the 'special unicorn squad'".

Do you mean to say that you're autistic, or aspergers?
I'm fairly convinced that aspergers is just social awkwardness, unless you're functioning at the brain capacity of a 4th grader.

He is seeing escorts so he cant be functioning that bad. Probably he has anti-seduction issues when he is talking, just like I do rather than mental issues preventing a socially competent exchange.
Social competence and calibration are different things.

 

[GoodMan32]

You are going to need to work hard to overcome that. Might even work to your advantage to let them know up front so they don't just think you are a weirdo but might have a little more patience or might even try to help you out so you can learn.

Otherwise I think it's going to be pretty tough sledding, IMO

I'd be reluctant to admit upfront (or ever) that I'm on the spectrum. The one time I admitted my status to an individual, the individual ended up treating me like a dumb child.

 

[GoodMan32]

Ate you in good shape? How much you weigh and how tall are you? Do you consider yourself fit? Or fat?

For privacy, I don't want to answer these questions on main. I'm going to DM you. I can even include some images of myself (I've shared images with some other users on here through DM)

 

[GoodMan32]

Literally everyone is. That's why they call it a "spectrum". It's a colorful way of saying "everyone on the planet is like this, but in varying degrees. So let's put everyone on a bell curve and anything more than 3 standard deviations away from midline is part of the 'special unicorn squad'".

Do you mean to say that you're autistic, or aspergers?
I'm fairly convinced that aspergers is just social awkwardness, unless you're functioning at the brain capacity of a 4th grader.

The term "the spectrum" isn't meant to imply everyone is on it. It's called an autism spectrum. People with autism all fall somewhere on the spectrum to varying degrees. Most of the population isn't on the spectrum.

Officially, I have Asperger's. In the time since finding out, however, they did away with the Asperger's distinction. Now they simply say "autism spectrum disorder" whether you have mild Asperger's, severe autism, or anything in between.

I'm somewhere on the milder end of the spectrum.

I (luckily) don't currently have the emotional age of a 4th grader. In high school, I might as well have been a 4th grader socially, however. As a result, I never had much opportunity to practice socialization in high school (hardly any high schooler wants to associate with the kid who acts like a 4th grader)

 

[GoodMan32]

Literally everyone is. That's why they call it a "spectrum". It's a colorful way of saying "everyone on the planet is like this, but in varying degrees. So let's put everyone on a bell curve and anything more than 3 standard deviations away from midline is part of the 'special unicorn squad'".

Do you mean to say that you're autistic, or aspergers?
I'm fairly convinced that aspergers is just social awkwardness, unless you're functioning at the brain capacity of a 4th grader.

One more thing I will say (regarding the distinction between Asperger's and garden variety social awkwardness): This is where I like to use an analogy from the TV show Big Bang Theory. I'd describe Leonard as having garden variety social awkwardness. During Leonard's single days, he often messed up with girls, but he at least caught himself right away. The girl would generally laugh it off.

Howard on the other hand, I'm pretty sure has Asperger's. During Howard's single days, girls were genuinely creeped out by him. And Howard lacked the social awareness to even realize he was doing anything wrong.

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

I've mentioned on other posts that I'm on the spectrum. That's a big reason I make girls lose interest (without even trying to). It's become a consistent pattern where my instinct of what to say/do (when pursuing a girl) is wrong.

As for some other factors, as much as I hate to admit it, I am pretty boring. Additionally, I make less than 40k per year and don't own a car.

Why are you not dating girls on the spectrum?

 

[GoodMan32]

Why are you not dating girls on the spectrum?

One, it's mathematically impossible for every guy on the spectrum to get a girl on the spectrum. There are way more guys on the spectrum than girls.

Two, even girls on the spectrum creep-shame guys on the spectrum.

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

When you say 'on the spectrum' how far along are you talking?

How many associations do you belong to? There are a lot of places specs can meet others like themselves. You gotta put yourself out there.

 

[GoodMan32]

When you say 'on the spectrum' how far along are you talking?

How many associations do you belong to? There are a lot of places specs can meet others like themselves. You gotta put yourself out there.

I have a relatively mild case.

I don't belong to any spectrum-related organizations.