I think i did the right thing...What do yall think?

[Mobster727]

aight so check this
Firstly just wanna say hope yall had a good 4th of july
Secondly heres my story....i went to see fireworks with my girlfriend we have just started a new relationship (this is our second week into it). So anywase i do tease her quiete often and she always says "oh your sooo mean" in a joking way. Well last night she says "why are you so mean to me?" and i was like "stop being a crybaby" and she laffed and when i tried to kiss her she didnt try to kiss back and then she says "you have to promise me youll be nice to me and then i will kiss you" so being the ****y funny guy i am i say "well if it was that easy to get you to stop kissing me i would have done it along time ago"

So she laffs again and gives me that "oh no you didnt just say that look" and i lean in for another kiss and she doesnt kiss me and she gets up off the couch and goes and sits in the chair across from meand i get up and sit with her.. I lean in for a kiss again and she says" nope not until you promise to be nice to me" So i decide not to promise her anything and i watch TV (prince of bel aire who would want to miss that?) and she continues to be fake mad or mad or whatever i cant really tell at this point and it was starting to get late and i didnt want to drive home to tired so i tell her i have to go and she just looks at me with a blank face and she didnt offer to kiss me goodbye so i just get up and say "bye" and walk out the door start up my truck and leave.

At this point im thinking i did the right thing becuase im not going to change who i am to maker her happy..I think i didnt go overboard with the C+F becuase she was still laffing...i guess she didnt really expect me to leave without promising her i would be "nice" ..So now im still thinking about last night if i did the right thing or not becuase she hasnt texted me or called me and im not going to text her or call her if shes mad so im going to let her text me first...anywase it would be much appreciated if you guys think i did the right thing or not? should i have promised to be "nice" to her just so i could kiss her goodnight?

 

[(JJ)]

i think it depends what u consider to be "the right thing" if ur lookin for short term positive outcome then i think u f***ed up but long term you did perfect cuz this way, she's most likely gonna be like "oh this guy's a challenge. i wanna **** him" but even worst case scenario, u get to move on quick before wastin time on some ***** that doesn't even like ur personality

 

[AllAmericanGuy]

you are causing uneeded bs in your relationship

you should have just said something clever when you left, like 'actions speak louder than words' and kissed her on the forehead and took off.

or

very playfully 'shutup!.... come here!' then grab her and kiss her

or

bust her balls about it and sarcastically be like "oh baby i promise ill be so nice to you! can i get you anything? do you want something to drink! can i give you a foot massage?" then laugh at her

or

say nothing and leave and cause uneeded wierd tension between you two

... just my thoughts

 

[Man Man]

I think you started taking it a little too seriously when you left, also you pursued her for too long after she rejected you.

 

[aussiegoat55]

You were a challenge. (Good)

You didn't compromise yourself and give in. (Good)

You left which meant you weren't going give in just to get some tougne action. You were noncomittal, didn't give a care. (Good)

You tried too many times to go in for the kiss. (Bad)

You could have said "Ok,...I promise" in a non serious tone of voice, crossed your fingers, kissed, then said "Sike", haha.

You're just starting off this relationship, she's testing you and she is also playing a power struggle. One time a girl of mine said "I want us to go with my friends to event X." I said, "Haha, I don't think so, your friends can come with us to event Y." From thereon it was established I was the assertive leader, I had won the power struggle. That was a key play right there, for both you and me.

Maybe next time you see her she'll be more submissive.

 

[shydude]

lmfao, dont promise wat you cant keep, Tell her that if she asks it again. From reading wat you said, you were flirtin with each other, nothin serious, no reason she should get mad, and you did the right thing, she prob wants you even more now n prob is thinkin about you right now, next time you meet there is a chance you can easily bang her :]

 

[Supremo]

I think i didnt go overboard with the C+F because she was still laffing...

You just answered your own question. ****y and funny, if used in the correct way (which it sounds like you did) can NEVER go wrong. But you can't use ****y and funny 100% of the time. Even with the funny thrown in, you CAN go overboard and be thought of as arrogant. There must be some REGULAR conversation in there as well.

If your girlfriend was laughing everytime, yet still not letting you kiss her, she is obviously TESTING you and PLAYING A GAME. Go ahead and play one right back, as Aussiegoat said.

It'll be interesting to see how this unfolds. Make sure to keep us updated!

 

[Mobster727]

Aight well check this out
I heard some advice from my friend on here and he said that when she walked over to the other chair she really WAS mad...so yea i think i did go a little over board with it becuase she told me she was very upset the next morning. I called her and told her "yea i know i went a little over board there but yo we should hang out" and she told me she missed me and all that other stuff...but anywase from what my friend told me is that i need to tone the C+F down becuase i am already in a relationship with her i already have her attracted but at least now she knows im NOT a pushover. She says i was very stubborn and i think now she knows when she wants something of me she better ask me in a different way.

Trust me you guys prolly would have stalled to if she asked you the way she asked me...we made totall eye contact and she says "you have to promise to be nice to me" <<that right there is what got me confused..but i think i should haveleft on a BETTER note i probably should have kissed her so it wouldnt feel so wierd

 

[Mobster727]

You just answered your own question. ****y and funny, if used in the correct way (which it sounds like you did) can NEVER go wrong. But you can't use ****y and funny 100% of the time. Even with the funny thrown in, you CAN go overboard and be thought of as arrogant. There must be some REGULAR conversation in there as well.

If your girlfriend was laughing everytime, yet still not letting you kiss her, she is obviously TESTING you and PLAYING A GAME. Go ahead and play one right back, as Aussiegoat said.

It'll be interesting to see how this unfolds. Make sure to keep us updated!

Yea i think i made her feel like she cant have a REGULAR conversation wit me..
so the next day i toned it down with her and im still feeling the attraction even more since she feels like she can talk about other things but not in the way she would talk to her guy friends

 

[Mobster727]

lmfao, dont promise wat you cant keep, Tell her that if she asks it again. From reading wat you said, you were flirtin with each other, nothin serious, no reason she should get mad, and you did the right thing, she prob wants you even more now n prob is thinkin about you right now, next time you meet there is a chance you can easily bang her :]

She did get mad lol..thas why she went to the other chair...
and i didnt realize it but i still think i did the right thing by leaving but i shouldnt have left so awkwardly

 

[Mobster727]

You were a challenge. (Good)

You didn't compromise yourself and give in. (Good)

You left which meant you weren't going give in just to get some tougne action. You were noncomittal, didn't give a care. (Good)

You tried too many times to go in for the kiss. (Bad)

You could have said "Ok,...I promise" in a non serious tone of voice, crossed your fingers, kissed, then said "Sike", haha.

You're just starting off this relationship, she's testing you and she is also playing a power struggle. One time a girl of mine said "I want us to go with my friends to event X." I said, "Haha, I don't think so, your friends can come with us to event Y." From thereon it was established I was the assertive leader, I had won the power struggle. That was a key play right there, for both you and me.

Maybe next time you see her she'll be more submissive.

Yea we are having a few power struggles in our relationship but the important thing though is that she knows its going to be a challenge and she needs to learn to comprimise not me

 

[Mobster727]

you are causing uneeded bs in your relationship

you should have just said something clever when you left, like 'actions speak louder than words' and kissed her on the forehead and took off.

or

very playfully 'shutup!.... come here!' then grab her and kiss her

or

bust her balls about it and sarcastically be like "oh baby i promise ill be so nice to you! can i get you anything? do you want something to drink! can i give you a foot massage?" then laugh at her

or

say nothing and leave and cause uneeded wierd tension between you two

... just my thoughts

Your right man like i said i think i do need to tone it down just a tad bit since we are in relationship mode

 

[jesusrules]

some girls like c+f maybe she hates it sometimes. your right dont change yourself if she doesnt like you doing that then she shouldnt be with you then. See how it goes in a few days, if she dumps you move on and do some more DJing.

 

[(JJ)]

i think that since were in the high school forum it should be said that, tho c+f works most the time, c+f+sweet works pretty much all the time. High school chicks aren't really jaded and dont have such ***** shields as the girls that some of the guys on this site are dealing with. if u think about how some afc's get chicks, the girls are always talking about how even tho they wanna dump em, they're so sweet that they dont wanna at the same time. im not sayin go overboard but everynow and then (especially after u make her feel like she earned it) dish out a complement or something. that seems to work like a charm for me.

 

[Supremo]

i think that since were in the high school forum it should be said that, tho c+f works most the time, c+f+sweet works pretty much all the time. High school chicks aren't really jaded and dont have such ***** shields as the girls that some of the guys on this site are dealing with. if u think about how some afc's get chicks, the girls are always talking about how even tho they wanna dump em, they're so sweet that they dont wanna at the same time. im not sayin go overboard but everynow and then (especially after u make her feel like she earned it) dish out a complement or something. that seems to work like a charm for me.

The only problem is, high school girls often are WAY more self-conscious about themselves then college/older women are. There's a definite line between saying something ****y and funny to a 16 year old and saying the same line to a 22 year old. JJ is right, in high school its BEST to add in a little extra something nice her know you aren't a straight up jerk.

Some ways that I use ****y and funny in high school are:
1. Looking and talking OVERLY serious, in a way she knows I'm kidding.
2. Telling her "No!" when she asks for something, but then doing it anyways.
3. Being OVERLY ****y, but always with a sly smile on my face.
And many more...

There are so many ways to be ****y and funny, but you have to learn which works BEST for what situation you are in. Coming on too strong when you first meet a high school girl could result in disaster, so its best to start small and slowly turn up the ****y and funny notch once she realizes thats just how you are. Then she will begin to develop more of a mature attitude about things and be able to take little negative hits without deflating her ego totally.

But in your case, Mobster, since you guys are already in a relationship, I'd say go in waves of ****y and funny. One day, have your game turned up ALL THE WAY and the next, be more sensitive to her (without changing yourself, mind you).

The one thing you do NOT want to do is go changing your ways over a girl. Whatever lucky girl happens to be in the interest of us guys has a FRONT ROW seat to our show, our life. If she doesn't like it, theres a plethora of girls who are waiting to have the opportunity to fill the spot. She's the lucky one for being able to have your attention, she is the one who has to work harder to keep YOU interested because its EASY to find another girl who is willing to.

Good luck man