I think I am in the midst of a serious,serious depression...

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Depression is a symptom, not an illness.

It's your body's way of telling you that something is wrong, and you need to figure out what that is. Alot of time, it is lifestyle related. Figure out what is causing you to think a certain way, and in turn create these negative emotions.

Having spent alot of time here in the past, and sucked up alot of the negative brainwashing dogmatic B.S. about women and dating, I can tell you that you really should not visit Sosuave for a while. IT will worsen your depression, cuz right now you need to find stability and plant healthy seeds in your head.

This website is not the norm, and once you leave it for a year, like I did you will deprogram yourself from over analizing everything. Just go out and live and stop thinking too much. Thinking is what creates depression. When you can find a way to distract your mind and keep it entertained by doing activities that are fun and social, you'll come out of it.

You've learned new ways of thinking and have been reprogrammed, but you brain is not liking the new stimulus and is telling you that you need to change and find a healthier way of being.

If you're concerned about all this AFC, approach pickup B.S. and when you're out in your day to day that's all you can think about, as opposed to just livin life and havin fun, you've find a definite trigger to the depression. The cold calculated crap is not natural and is forcing you to think too much.

And with thinking too much, you're creating dillusions about what is really going on in life. No one is out living life to the fullest, all of the time. Everyone has bad days, so never assume that you're the only one who's feeling lonely and let down. It just isn't true.

You need to take a break from all of this and go work on yourself.

Get out, turn the computer off, turn the T.V. off and take up a sport that is social. Stop trying to pick up chicks. Stop thinking bout picking up chicks.
Women for the most part, are a pain in the ass and can bring about as much grief as they can bring you good.

Remember there is no holy grail that will bring you instant and everlasting happiness. That happiness, joy and fulfillment is built on many small personal accomplishments and mental milestones that you reach in your life, and places like this, where there's too much wrong information and mind viruses, will stop you from building a healthy mental state.

Life is not a thinking man's game.

 

[bornyesterday]

For how long do you have these problems you describe?
If you have serious emotional problems and suffer from negative thinking which is dominating and hindering your life I don't think reading these forums or trying to live by the advice you are given is going to help you.
It's possible some other things need to be adressed before you are ready to think about getting laid.
I recognize many things you say. You say you are suffering from depression. I suspect you are suffering mroe from anxiety but its often the same thing.
If I were you I would start to think about making an appointment with a profesional psychotherapist (not a psychiatrist).

 

[tick37]

Go see a doctor and get on an anti-depressant. Lexapro is a very good one. Then find a counselor to help you do some cognitive-therapy. Also, start believing in yourself even if no one else does. Depression is caused by negative thinking. Your self talk is damaging, and you need to reprogram. You can overcome this! Good luck.

Worry about the does and not the don'ts. Worry about the haves and not the have nots. Start to look at the positive side of things and not the negative side.

 

[viking22]

I wouldn't go the medication route if you can possibly help it. These have side effects and in particular sexual dysfunction which is a depressing side effect in itself!

My advice to you would be to keep busy and active so you do not have time to think and brood. Also socialise.

I would take a break from the sosuave stuff. Getting good with women involves a lot of rejection along the way and you are in a fragile state at the moment. The best time to hit on girls is when you are feeling happy and confident. Get your life in order and then think about getting a girl.

Breaking it down:

Exercise: Jog 30 minutes 3 times a week and do weights 3 times a week

Diet: Regular meals even if you aren't feeling hungry (a symptom of depression is loss of appetite) cut out junk food and eat wholegrains, meat, vegetables, fruit and get healthy fats such as olive oil, fatty fish etc inside you.

Socialising: find an activity you enjoy involving other people and do it. Doesn't matter if it is sport, photography club, or even debate club.

Work: devote effort to your studies and your job. It will take your mind off your troubles and hard work will lead to better performance, recognition from your boss/teachers which will boost your self esteem

Therapy: a bit of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) can be useful as it helps you to challenge negative thought patterns

 

[tick37]

I took Lexapro after my wife left me, and it did wonders for me. The only problem I had was that it took me a very long to ejaculate, but what woman wouldn't be happy about that?

 

[Latinoman]

And it feels like there is no way out,and I haven't been able to or can't seem to do anything about it. I keep having the same negative thoughts and feelings over,and over. Alot of it stems from loneliness,anger,possible lack of conifdence,too many insecurities,feelings of unworthyness,low self worth,or the feeling that I am just not attractive,or not the person I want to be. I have been recently trying craigslist,I don't really know what to say about my success on there,but I feel like I am getting desperate. I look at the adds on there,guys and there girls looking for other girls for 3ways and fun,and yet here I am all alone. I don't know if its cause I don't want to change,or I just don't have the will. What can I do?

Instead of seeking the Internet as the place that can save you...perhaps you should seek REAL LIFE Professional Help.

 

[tick37]

Instead of seeking the Internet as the place that can save you...perhaps you should seek REAL LIFE Professional Help.

Amen!

 

[DonGorgon]

MOST PEPEL HAVE SOME LEVEL OF DEPRESSION , THE PROBLEMS start when you fail to balance the bad times with good times...

 

[Answers]

You need to figure out what you want in life. You seem going through the motions like I am but I'm in the process of figuring out what I want in life.

When you've that done you need to be clear about it to focus the mind. Write it down the things you want as its better that way to help focus the mind. These are your goals. An example would be: excerise for 30 min daily, smile at people etc.

Once you have clear goals its like sending co-ordinates to your mind instead of letting you mind wander aimlessly in confusion.

 

[Latinoman]

I guess with have Mind Doctors in this Forum. Giving advice to a man that admits to be falling into DEPRESSION. Unreal.

 

[DonGorgon]

I guess with have Mind Doctors in this Forum. Giving advice to a man that admits to be falling into DEPRESSION. Unreal.

Depression is inevitable when you have excessive capitalism

 

[tick37]

Depression is inevitable when you have excessive capitalism

It's a psychology issue, not a philosophy issue. Just see a counselor, and she/he will steer you in the right direction. Ask about what medications may help you.

 

[LostAndConfused]

Depression is inevitable when you have excessive capitalism

It's a psychology issue, not a philosophy issue. Just see a counselor, and she/he will steer you in the right direction. Ask about what medications may help you.

Having a bad psychology is a whole lot easier with excessive capitalism.

 

[AznPlaya]

Listen yall i had serious depression, i coudn't get any girls, i started doin drugs, i had no life basically. I worrie'd everyday worried about my grade's worried if life is goin 2 fast or if im not good or pretty enough... WORRYING ABOUT ALL THESE USELESS THINGS!!! ItsonNOW your askin yourself what do i DONT want ? Which is the WORST THING YOU CAN DO!!! YOu have 2 ask yourself WHAT DO I WANT !!!! Girls, Cars, Clothes DONT MAKE YOU HAPPY!!! YOU STILL HAVEN"T GOT THAT OUT OF YOUR HEAD BECAUSE IF YOU DID YOU WOULD KNOW WHAT IS REAL! YOU are looking at an ILLUSIONARY WORLD, like the matrix!!! i tell ya.. You have no motivation, no purpose, no juice that makes you dont want 2 go to sleep at night! Ofcourse how can a depressed person be all those things.... The only thing that is makin you depressed is YOURSELF!! THe perception of the world you see, Your insecurites, your fear's you know that you have all these problems and whats even worse is that YOU FOCUS ON THEM!!! I DON GIVE A FUC IF U FOCUSIN ON HOW TO SOLVE PROBLEMS OR HOW TO GET INTO PROBLEMS, IF YOUR THINKING PROBLEMS THEN PROBLEMS WILL SHOW!!! Plz understand that the most important person in the world is you and that you are the one that control destiny and the universe.. ( Does events control you? or do you control events? )
AND USUALLY I WAS REALLY SELF-CONCIOUS, still is now but 10x better
DOnt ask yourself what people think of you!! Ask yourself what you think of yourself!!!! Plz know that you have 2 get your emotions RIGHT!!! Emotions are what make's us happy and accomplish things that have never been done before, emotions are the things that make us go into wars and make us feel like a million dollars! YOUR THOUGHT AND YOUR EMOTION IS EVERYTHING AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!! IF i knew Your thought and your emotions then i would know what kind of a person you are!!!

 

[Interceptor]

The first step to managing depression is understadning what it is.

It is Anger turned IN Ward.

You need to get real deep and honest with yourself.

You need to ask yourself some questions.


What makes you Angry?


What and whom do you resent?

Who is holding you DOWN?


What are you NOT Getting?

Why arent your needs satisfied?

What ARE your NEEDS?

Are you at peace with your desires?

DO you feel guilty for being a Man? For having sexual desire?

Do you feel comfortable with not only your own sexuality, but that of a woman's?

DO you feel worthy of Love?

IF , not WHY?


What is your passion?

What do you want to do in life?

What makes you get up in the morning and live?


Do you have a Chief Aim, a Personal Mission Statement?



Then,

the next step is addressng the physiological.

This means EXERCISE and BODY MOVEMENT.

This is how you RELEASE neurological patterns whi are limiting you.

by keeping these energies trapped and not flowing you remain trapped and stagnant.
Since that neurology and pattern is all you know, and you associate your IDENTITY with those patterns, it becomes uncomfortable to you, and you are resistant to going into the unfamiliar.

But your Identity is not fully formed, and you are still trapped by a FALSE identity.
All the more reasn why you need to get this handled now, as soon as possible.


You need to release all that.

Also, the main reason why you dont have the motivation might be because you have no sense of Self Worth.
So you cannot gauge just how much of an investement to make in yourself.

You need to build Self Esteem, and this will help you get a gauge on your self concept and what you feel your VALUE is.

You also may have lived a life where you always got everything you wanted, hence, no motivation to go out and get things for yourself, to become INDEPENDENT.

You need to break free from this.

I suggest that you address this seriously, and stop just observing it, make an assessment of what is happenieng, and make a PLAN on how to change this for the BETTER!

You may want to look into EFT to help you release some of those trapped emotions and energy you have.

I would certainly advise you to take a deep serious look into this.

I would also STRONGLY suggest you take up a martial art to help the BODY MOVEMENT area, which will help you release those trapped thoughts, beliefs, and fixated neurology, and contribute greatly to your growth, self esteem, confidence, increased emotional strength, and transmutation of energy.
You will become a new person.



And of course going to the gym and pushing and pulling weight is a MUST, this, as you know is non negotiable.

Also investigate Meditation and deep breathing exercises as well. They help release stress and mental tension as well.



Look into David Deangelo's On Being a Man, and Deep Inner Game.

And also Dr. Paul Dobransky.

And you should have at least a couple of hobbies like drawing, or painting or things like that.
If you don't , you better get some.

 

[tick37]

Having a bad psychology is a whole lot easier with excessive capitalism.

So is excessive socialism. Basically, anything excessive is bad.