I take the ups and downs of socializing too seriously

[One on One]

Man, I don't get this. It must have something to do with the fact that I used to have hardly any friends. Every time some little social "thing" happens, I usually end up either ecstatic or depressed. Here are some examples:

- Today I was talking to a girl on IM, the convo was short and it sucked. I'm thinking to myself this girl is no longer interested and I get all down and depressed. 30 minutes later she calls me up and invites me to a club next week...I guess she felt bad that our convo sucked too. So, now I'm very happy.

- When I call friends and suggest to go do something, I take it all so personally - if they can come, I am very happy, if they can't, I figure they dont' want to be my friend and get depressed.

It's like any little thing can either totally kill my mood or put me in a great mood. Girl flirts with me? Great mood! Same girl doesn't smile and come talk to me when I see her? Depressing.

I would describe my social life as tenuous, and I'm afraid it might fall apart soon, but maybe these fears aren't so realistic. I've actually had a social life for about 10 months now and it's only gotten stronger. I wish I could stop worrying about losing friends and being turned down by girls. I really wish I could, but I can't.

I know this is a desperate attitude and I wish it would go away, but I don't know how to make that happen.

 

[icepick]

Hey, I know many really social and popular people that have been social and popular all thier lives, and some of them STILL think like this.

Wish I could offer some advice. Maybe you are becoming too dependent on others for your happiness?

 

[Gman]

a lot of ppl must have this problem. Unlike the stereotype of a perfect childhood, great times at secondary school, this isnt true for everyone. Many ppl have had it REAL ROUGH growing up socially, and tragically u cant change the past. JUst accept it, forget it, know ur not alone, accept ur feeling vulnerable these days, and hope for a better future. Look at the evidence that u have had a 10 mth strong social life, dont dismiss that. and Build on it. Slowly, things'll come round in ur head.

Good lUck

 

[Legend]

dude it sounds like you have to much time on your hands to even care what friends want to hang out with you and what friends dont want to hang out with you. In all reality who cares.....do what you want to do. Do things that make you happy. Your happiness is in your hands it should'nt be in your so called friends.