I suck at leaving Voice Mail

[#41]

I have no explanation for this phenomenon -- I'm a very good communicator in virtually every other facet of my life. I have done loads of public speaking, and I appear in court daily with no problems.

It all goes to sh¡t as soon as the "beep" hits on a voice mail, though. I go from confident dude to stammering fool. I try to be funny and it ends up sounding douchey. I try to be brief and end up talking for 30-40 seconds. I try to be cool and it never comes out right. I, quite literally, almost threw my phone out the window of my car in disgust tonight after leaving another TERRIBLE voice mail.

I'm 99% confident I'm not going to get a call back on this one just because I know I sounded like a tool on my message.

Anyone else? Or am I alone in my idiocy.

 

[DJNiceGuy]

I've always had this exact same problem. Try "Hi this is <insert name>. I'll talk to you later." I know it might seem idiotic to not leave a reason for calling, but the ball is still in your court in this message even if the girl does not call you back. And it leaves no room for her to analyze you or for you to make mistakes. Also remember, hit "#" and you can re-record your message. You've always got more tries .

 

[Maxtro]

Taken from Mehow's Get the girl!

PHONE MESSAGES

I only have two phone messages. Both are impossible to mess up and sub-
communicate un-neediness. They are:

1 “Hey, it’s Mehow, I’ll talk to you later.”
2 “Hey, it’s Mehow, you can call me back.”

Both are high value subcommunications.

Do you think if Brad Pitt called a girl he would leave a long message? NO!
High value people don’t spend a lot of time talking to a machine and they
assume that they will get a call no matter what they say.

Ever notice how if someone leaves you a long message, you think less of
them? It’s because, consciously or subconsciously, you know that they just
spent two minutes talking to a machine, instead of a real person. So
instead of leaving a long message, I want you to leave one of the two
above, always.
------------
I think it seems to make sense. The less you say, the less you can screw up.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

I too have always been in this boat, until now. 99% of the time I don't even leave a message to a girl I'm calling, but when it's bidness it's easy because it's bidness.

Call you later or you can call me back, pretty hard to screw up.

 

[edger]

I have no explanation for this phenomenon -- I'm a very good communicator in virtually every other facet of my life. I have done loads of public speaking, and I appear in court daily with no problems.

It all goes to sh¡t as soon as the "beep" hits on a voice mail, though. I go from confident dude to stammering fool. I try to be funny and it ends up sounding douchey. I try to be brief and end up talking for 30-40 seconds. I try to be cool and it never comes out right. I, quite literally, almost threw my phone out the window of my car in disgust tonight after leaving another TERRIBLE voice mail.

I'm 99% confident I'm not going to get a call back on this one just because I know I sounded like a tool on my message.

Anyone else? Or am I alone in my idiocy.

You think too much about what you're going to say and how you're going to say it. I'm guilty of thinking too much myself. As I'm sure you're aware, when you don't think, things just come out naturally. As it's been said many times before here, guys think too much when it comes to women, and it f*cks everything up. All this analyzing and thinking gets in the way of our true player nature. Guys need to relax and chill out. Don't worry cause you're a prize, you're a cool dude. You already know everything I'm saying.

 

[scrouds]

I cheat.

If i have an important message, I write down what I want to say first, then read it.

Yes, that means I hang up the first time, and try again later with a prepped script. This has been very useful in business. I don't use it with the chicks tho, so YMMV

 

[Nutz]

Taken from Mehow's Get the girl!

PHONE MESSAGES

I only have two phone messages. Both are impossible to mess up and sub-
communicate un-neediness. They are:

1 “Hey, it’s Mehow, I’ll talk to you later.”
2 “Hey, it’s Mehow, you can call me back.”

Both are high value subcommunications.

Do you think if Brad Pitt called a girl he would leave a long message? NO!
High value people don’t spend a lot of time talking to a machine and they
assume that they will get a call no matter what they say.

Ever notice how if someone leaves you a long message, you think less of
them? It’s because, consciously or subconsciously, you know that they just
spent two minutes talking to a machine, instead of a real person. So
instead of leaving a long message, I want you to leave one of the two
above, always.
------------
I think it seems to make sense. The less you say, the less you can screw up.

Sonofvabiotch! I was about to post the same frakking thing!

The one I've always used even before hearing his version was "Hey, it's ____. Talk to you later!" What I do now though is say it like he does. The tonality and delivery is way different from how I used to say it.

 

[Mr. Me]

Ditto some of the other posters. Just because there's such a thing as VM doesn't mean you have to abide by it. These are TOOLS and you USE them to YOUR benefit. You haven't been and that's why it doesn't work for you. You've just been going along with the program.

Here's my standard message for any new woman I'm dating (meaning I just met her or we've gone out a few times only): "Hi, it's Mr. Me. Sorry I didn't catch you by your phone. Talk another time, bye."

Let me break down what leaving that message does. In that message, I'm not asking her nor expecting her to call me back. That message leaves it vague as to whether I'm to call her again or if she's to call me. Odds are a new woman will not call you back. Further, if I leave the ball in her court to call me back, I have no control over communication, I've given her all the control. Rather she be wondering if I'm going to call back then give her the sense that I'm depending on her to call. Yet that message leaves the option open for her to call me without me leaving the ball in her court to do so.

No room to flub, or talk too much, or divulge any information. One thing I've learned in both business and social situations is to give them a reason to speak to you further, and that's accomplished when you leave no information at all on a VM.