We had our talk last night. She was acting awkwardly, so I had to ask her what she wanted to talk about. She said that my behavior the other night was rude. All I remember doing was sort of walking towards her bedroom door, and her pushing me back, telling me that she was going to bed, and I'm going to my bed. Then I told her she was boring, and walked away. I can easily see where I came across as rude, so I apologized.
Then she brought up how she thought I was upset with her for going to bed, saying something about how she can't spend all of her time with me. I guess she was implying that I want to be around her all the time, when it's usually her asking me to hang out. She thought that by going out to the bar right after she went to bed, I was showing her that I was upset with her, and trying to drive that point further by not coming home.
I didn't have to, but I told her it gets boring in the apartment when everybody goes to bed, and I still have a few hours to silently burn. So, I go out. And that night I had too much to drink, so I crashed at my old roommates apartment. It wasn't some sorry attempt at playing headgames with her.
I told her I was going to do what I'm going to do, and asked her if by going out tonight (well, actually last night), it meant I was mad and trying to make a point. She said, "No, because you don't seem upset right now.".
I asked her if that was all she wanted to talk about, and she said yes. I told her to stop taking everything so seriously, and put my attention back on the TV. Then, as always, she announced that she had to get up early tomorrow, and needed to go to bed. We made a little small talk about her job, then she just sat there silently for a few minutes, got up, and waved or something as she walked to her room.
I had plans, so I went out shortly afterwards.
So I don't get where things are going. I still haven't been given a clear "negative" on the situation, but it's not looking too good either. I'm not going to go barging in her room. Knowing her, she'd find some way of making me feel like a total ******* if I did that, no matter how I tried it. She's never responded to anything physical I've ever done, unless she's already gotten herself worked up emotionally first. She literally has to ask for it, or I'm dead in the water. I've gotten her to that point a few times in the past, but I can't remember how I got there. Usually I just verbalized my intentions, or did nothing at all really, and she would at least make out with me. Maybe get her tits out.
The time we had sex in the past, I don't remember putting anything into getting her in bed. We went out drinking with my then roommate, who later insisted that she stayed at the house rather than drive home. She said that if she stayed, she would have to sleep in my bed. The rest was just as easy.
A few other things, as though this wasn't long enough of a post:
Yesterday my router was acting up, so I had to use the communal laptop. She must have forgotten to log out, so when I went on, the browser was still open. I clicked on the browser history tab to see if I still had ebay on there, and I noticed the address for match.com. She has a profile there. Kind of offputting that she'd tell me, and the other female roommate that she's not looking for a relationship, when she's using an internet dating service. It didn't look like she's used it since last week though.
I bought some new silverware a couple of weeks ago, but never opened it. I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep it, so I left it in a drawer. Last night, before we talked, she opened it up, and washed everything.
Wednesday night I was out with a friend of mine. He met his wife a few years ago through me and my current roommate. He asked me how things were going, because he noticed how much she flirts with me. I told him what was basically going on, and he said it looks like this girl is already acting like she's in a relationship with me, but she's afraid to label it, or obviously give me what I want without presenting a challenge. I agree, but have to add that I feel like she's treating me like a surrogate until someone better comes along. Honestly, I can't blame her with how I've been acting.
Tonight I plan on staying in. She has to work in the morning, so she's not going anywhere either. I'm not sure if I should try making things more comfortable with her, or if I should just chill out in my room with a book and the door closed.