I sleep over at her place, but no sex.

[T-Mack]

I go out with this girl last night that I’ve known for awhile from the college. This is the first time that we actually got to spend time one on one. The whole night is heavy kino and I’m smacking her booty and grabbing her boobs, but no kissing. It seemed like every time I tried to get close to her face to try to kiss her while we were out she would push me away.

Towards the end of the night we are both really hammered and I tell her I’m too drunk to drive home. She says I can stay over at her place but I have to sleep on the couch and I say okay. We walk in her apartment and then it changes and she says I can sleep in her bed as long as I don’t put any moves on her or I’m gone. We go to her room and I tell her I like to sleep with my clothes off and I’m down to my boxers.

I jump in bed with her and nothing happens for a little bit. Then I start rubbing the side of her back and eventually I’m sitting on top of her giving her a back massage and rubbing all the way down to her booty. I thought it was going to escalate into something but nothing happened after that. I wake up in the morning and she is in her thong and braw but I don’t remember her taking her clothes off.

I was wondering if any of you guys had any similar experiences and how you eventually got some with the girl or never did at all. I have plans to see her again and when I do I’m going to push the escalation a little farther this time. I know I have to go for the kiss or I’ll end up just friends. I don’t think I’m at the just friends point yet. I still see some potential.

 

[Mike32ct]

It could be any number of things. Does she maybe have a boyfriend or FB that she wants to make her boyfriend that you don't know about? Some girls will do EVERYTHING but intercourse with you so they don't feel like they "cheated" on their boyfriend.

I pulled a chick in Vegas once and got her naked and all the way to third base. There was no home run because that would be "cheating" on her bf back home lol. Or the married girl that went down on me, but didn't want to so much as cuddle afterwards, because that's "too intimate" lol.

 

[londonzen]

i think she you should of kissed her in the bed

 

[amoka]

You acted a bit champ when you agreed to not touch her... particularly since she was the one that offered you could sleep on her bed. You should know by then that she was the one that is trying to take advantage over you and let her know that you know her plans. Here is a challenge for you: next time you meet her, tell yourself you'd kiss her within 3 min. And within the 3 min, look her in the eyes and go for the kiss. Tease her for been a bad kisser. She may want to prof you wrong... then take the conversation off that topic and wait for another 5 min and go for it. She wants you... get her tiger.

 

[handle]

First just go for it. Then, if she turns you down or says no, you say you respect it, etc, whatever whatever but continue feeling her, touching her, etc and turning her on. After a little while, you try one more time and it should be golden. If not, THAT is when you have a problem.

I forget who first brought this up, but agreeing with this "anti-slvt" defense while continuing to do everything else you've been doing tends to work. I can say from experience that it's a very useful technique. Some other poster brought this to my attention a while ago, it works wonders because you continue to put her in the horny mindset while still being a 'gentleman.'

 

[lookyoung]

This girl has no attraction towards you and sees you as her girlfriend.

 

[RFish]

You acted a bit champ when you agreed to not touch her...

Amoka is right. And in addition you lost your powers dude.

She had to tell you what to do and you would say okay. She intentionally misleads you by setting up that situation up to that point and making you think something will happen, and eventually takes that expectation from you and let you sit there and wait while she takes her own time to say okay, or in this case she didn't either lol.

THINK: Having heavy kino without kissing or deed?! It is like having subway without the meat inside. You thought there is some meat so you sink your teeth after you realized it's only veggies and chilli sauce you go WTH. Yea that feeling.

So would you go with that? Or would you follow my advise and read one of Rollo Tomassi's Iron Rule about this situation?

You choose.

 

[Captain]

You should have made your move. If she was attracted to you, things would have gone well, if she wasn't attracted to you, at least you'd find out. If she was attracted to you, and you didn't make a move, her attraction towards you will be fading. You passed up a huge opportunity.

 

[frisco]

Every girl wants sex. They just dont want to be responsible for why this happend. She was drunk and she put herself in the position to have sex, You just never began pulling the trigers, kissing her neck face ect.

and trust me, she will bee a lot more reluctant to put you in a position to have sex with her because of this

 

[Pimp-sicle]

This girl has no attraction towards you and sees you as her girlfriend.

EXACTLY!!!! You were too eager all night, grabbing her boobs?? Really?? LOL You took the anticipation and challenge out of the whole night. Instead of being the prize and having her chase after you (mentally, physically etc); you played her game and made it PAINFULLY obvious that you wanted to fuvk her.

As Lookyoung said, she see's you as one of her gf's at the moment. Furthermore you should've sobered up out on the couch and then BOUNCED!!!!

If you try and escalate further next time... you'll get rejected. You need to switch the frame back to your control if you want to see that putty-cattt...





PIMP

 

[Poonani Maker]

I would have raised my hand to her and said, "I'll keep my hands to myself" and then just grind her with my d!ck and toe-fvck her.

 

[T-Mack]

Thanks for the input guys. There are many other things that are wrong within this situation that I did not mention and I don’t see any point in listing every detail because it is a lost cause now. The fact is... I missed out on a golden opportunity to make an easy lay. I let the girl control the frame and was not in control of myself. I let her lead the interactions and I followed. I blame part of that on drinking too much alcohol and not being on top of my game. I also waited too long and thought too much about the situation when I should have just gone for it.

I also sent her a text the next day saying I had a great time last night when I know I shouldn’t have contacted her at all. She replies with some *****y text back and then I reply with let’s talk when you’re in a better mood. I get another text the next day from her saying this:

“I’m in a great mood. I just don’t want you to get the wrong idea. You and I are just friends. I like hanging out with you but just as friends.”

I can pretty much forget about getting any from her now and I slowly realized that when I didn’t get any after staying over at her place. I blew it. My reply back to that text was “duh you’re so strange”. She replies back with “I know ”

I’m going to leave it at that and put her on ignore. I’m just going to look at this as a very good learning experience of what not to do when out with a girl.

 

[nikko49]

yep, just take it as a lesson, and THANK YOU for the fr man. I've never gotten laid or stayed over at a girls house before but this was very eye-opening. thanks.

 

[f283000]

dude it was your fault! how silly can you be? you f***ed up big time! there are a few facts of life that are set in stone

1. no woman invites a man to her house if she is not at least attracted to him and is fully aware of the possibility of something happening
2. no woman will let a man sleep with her in the same bed without being being fully aware of the possibility something might happen

if she was totally opposed to the idea of sex you would have been sleeping in the couch. You did not escalate, you lost. I doubt this girl will give you another chance as you were not man enough to man up when you were laying on her own bed with her for goodness sake!

woman translation of what she said to you
"im going to let you sleep next to me in my bed but don't put any moves" = boy i'm letting you sleep next to me in my own bed, i don't know what else i can do to entice you to put a move on me, i'm basically going to be putting myself out there for you on a silver platter, if you don't put some moves on me you are a fa****

wait there's more, you were on top of her on her own bed and giving her a massage. You really f***ed up, brother i'm sorry.

You might as well have slept in the couch and answered her proposal to sleep on the bed with her with "i'm sorry but i'm so irresistable it would be too difficult for you to keep yourself from trying to seduce me, i'll just stay here on the couch, thank you anyway for your offer" or some c&f stuff like that. At least you wouldn't have embarrased yourself like you ended up doing.

 

[lookyoung]

dude it was your fault! how silly can you be? you f***ed up big time! there are a few facts of life that are set in stone

1. no woman invites a man to her house if she is not at least attracted to him and is fully aware of the possibility of something happening
2. no woman will let a man sleep with her in the same bed without being being fully aware of the possibility something might happen

if she was totally opposed to the idea of sex you would have been sleeping in the couch. You did not escalate, you lost. I doubt this girl will give you another chance as you were not man enough to man up when you were laying on her own bed with her for goodness sake!

woman translation of what she said to you
"im going to let you sleep next to me in my bed but don't put any moves" = boy i'm letting you sleep next to me in my own bed, i don't know what else i can do to entice you to put a move on me, i'm basically going to be putting myself out there for you on a silver platter, if you don't put some moves on me you are a fa****

You might as well have slept in the couch and answered her proposal to sleep on the bed with her with "i'm sorry but i'm so irresistable it would be too difficult for you to keep yourself from trying to seduce me, i'll just stay here on the couch, thank you anyway for your offer" or some c&f stuff like that. At least you wouldn't have embarrased yourself like you ended up doing.

I disagree with you here reason being is that he says in his thread that he tried to kiss the girl before and she pushed him away. If she was really attracted to him she would not have pushed him away. Do you think she would push brad pitt away or the Tom brady?

Young girls today are attention hors! They will sleep next to an AFC nerd and not give him the *****!

A woman knows within 5 minutes if she will **** a guy or not. She knew ahead of time she wasn't going to have sex with him.

 

[pua1989]

I disagree with you here reason being is that he says in his thread that he tried to kiss the girl before and she pushed him away. If she was really attracted to him she would not have pushed him away. Do you think she would push brad pitt away or the Tom brady?

Young girls today are attention hors! They will sleep next to an AFC nerd and not give him the *****!

A woman knows within 5 minutes if she will **** a guy or not. She knew ahead of time she wasn't going to have sex with him.

i dont know if i agree with this...ive had a few girls turn me down on my first attempt to kiss them only to have them kissing up on me later on leading into a lay.....its all about how you conduct yourself in the situation i suppose

 

[TizZle]

EXACTLY!!!! You were too eager all night, grabbing her boobs?? Really?? LOL You took the anticipation and challenge out of the whole night. Instead of being the prize and having her chase after you (mentally, physically etc); you played her game and made it PAINFULLY obvious that you wanted to fuvk her.

As Lookyoung said, she see's you as one of her gf's at the moment. Furthermore you should've sobered up out on the couch and then BOUNCED!!!!

If you try and escalate further next time... you'll get rejected. You need to switch the frame back to your control if you want to see that putty-cattt...





PIMP

Listen to this.

Seems like she's the one with the power and you sir are the one that needs to get it back to even have a shot. I'd personally go with the power of "walking away". You gotta be prepared to stand your ground if you go that route though.

 

[T-Mack]

Listen to this.

Seems like she's the one with the power and you sir are the one that needs to get it back to even have a shot. I'd personally go with the power of "walking away". You gotta be prepared to stand your ground if you go that route though.

I can't completely walk away and go no contact like I wanted too. I work with her at the college and we have the same major so I have to interact with her at some point. We will have classes together next semester as well.

I'm just going to keep our conversations real short, stay distant from her, and not hang out with her again.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Maybe she doesn't want to feel like a slvT!

 

[PSYCHO]

You should of had sex with the couch, like normal guys do!