I Screwed Up?

[AbaGanov]

Thanks for the compliment. It's just that at 30 years old going on 31, it gets harder to have that mindset of "forget her and move on", especially when I couldn't have been more attracted to her and we were getting along so well. Your point is she's not WITH me, so obviously she's not into me, and I understand that. But I just hope you understand my point of this thread which is that she WAS interested in me IMO, and I kind of feel like I pushed her away with my pressure.

can you see that the attitude and mindset you are still having right now is what got you in trouble in the first place?

and if you will keep this mindset you very likely to screw up again with the next one?

my 2 cents is that there is no such thing as "the one" or that "special girl" that you meant to be with. it's a very needy mindset to have that will always sabotage things for you.

the mindset you should adopt is that there are tons of gorgeous, awesome girls out there that you can have great connection with and the main plus - THEY WILL ALSO WANT TO BE WITH YOU.

once you could really master this attitude things will get much easier.

 

[JST8828]

I get that. I get all that. I know I'm a catch and that plenty of girls would be lucky to have me and all I can offer. Well aware of that. I've learned a lot over the years. Still doesn't change the fact that this situation stung hard and getting back out there isn't exactly a cake walk, especially coming off a girl as great as this one was (when we were dating at least).

 

[Visionist]

Closure is for women.

When I joined SS I was locking horns with a vicious oneitis who made me feel like $hit. It's all there in my post history. I was obsessed with "having the last word".

Just don't.

Any and every "last" word from you is another excuse on her behalf to treat you like $hit and feed off your misery. You must go in a completely different direction with your own life and distract yourself heavily, so heavily that you couldn't wallow over this monkey branching broad if your life depended on it. Go to the city, go to Six Flags, go visit the USS New Jersey, hell- take up flying lessons, anything. Meet new people. Not new girls necessarily, not yet, not till you want to.

Closure is never an option.

 

[marmel75]

Ok fair enough, but please understand and trust that this woman felt like something special to me in these 3 months. She didn't dump me bc I wasn't a good guy with no game. She said I was amazing. She left bc of unfinished history with an ex. This is a hard pill to swallow knowing that had I handled her return differently, who knows....

I mean do you understand that my thing is I likely PUSHED her away? A week before she told me she doesn't see things moving forward for us and deleted our pic on her social media, she was telling me she still had feelings for me. What happened in between then was me putting pressure on her and not handling things the right way. That is the conflict I have here. I f-cked it up in a way. That being said, even though I didn't handle this well, do you guys still feel that SHE should really be the one to reach back out no matter what? Would a simple Happy Birthday text be out of the question to see what her reaction may be? I know its technically against the no contact rules, but given the circumstances....

Stop believing what she tells you. Its all BS...that's the type of stuff women tell a guy...

"Its not you, its me". Be assured its not her...it really is you.