I saw myself in the mirror (metaphorically)

[wcknightjr]

A very strange thing happened to me yesterday. I was at my old high school's homecoming game (i'm c/o '04) with my buddies. at the end of the game, when i was saving their seats while they got some food, my ex-girlfriend came right up to where i was sitting (not a simple task in that crowd), and sat next to me. The strangest thing is that i haven't spoken one word to her since we broke up...3 YEARS ago!

We had a strange relationship, highlighted by the fact that I was the biggest, most predictable AFC ever to walk the earth and she was an emotional wreck. We chatted for a while and she asked me what I was doing after the game. I kinda changed the subject to find out if she was single (what? she seemed interested, ok?), and she's still going out with the same guy that she got with a few months after we broke up.

So yeah she still ditched her friends to go with me to get food after the game. Over the next couple of hours of talking to her I realized that everything was so familiar between us. I offered her the same kind of mint (those sheet-like ones) that i had introduced her to when we were going out. She noticed a couple of my quirks that haven't changed in all that time.

We both knew though that each of us had changed for the better. When I dropped her off she gave me her number in case I ever wanted to hang out.

After last night I felt a great sense of relief. She had been that black spot in my past. And for what? There was no reason that i should have ever felt at all bitter.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really saw my old self in the mirror. It was a little bit of an epiphany. I have to say it was one of the last things I didn't like about my old self; the fact that I couldn't quite forget about what could have been with her (I just couldn't admit it to myself) today I woke up and felt a little different. I was really hurt when we broke up, and that's what has been kinda holding me back, and the same person that negatively affected my opinion of women inadvertantly and ironically did the exact opposite three years later.

It's not quite as bad as I've made it out to be, but my advice is to really let the past be the past and find a way to get past it.

 

[Omega]

Good job.

 

[jrme1212]

yeh i am pretty sure that i kno wut u are talking about. my first real girlfriend...after we broke up we didnt talk fer like 4 months, not as long as 4 yrs but still. but its just so much more of a relief to be walking down the halls at school and see her and not have to look the other way. o yea...good post

 

[AFK Protector]

Congratulations man. Reading posts like this inspires me to move on and pursue my dreams. You broke up with her and went on with your life, but came back when you set stuff straight in your life first.

I think this might happen with me and my oneitis being I never had a GF... But thanks again for this post. It was inspirational for me.

 

[jakeyboy]

excellent post. thanks for sharing that insiprational story of yours... they always say the loss of your first love hurts the most and i guess that applied to me. but we all gotta move on at some point. your trademark sweet was that sheet thing? mine was the extra strong mentos tube. ahha... damn, does bring back memories doesn't it.

 

[Heizen]

Was she the girl that drove you to DJism? That would make things even more symbolic.

I hope I can have a experience like yours sometime soon. I still havnt talked to the girls that drove me to this site in almost 3/4 of a year. Would like to get rid of my black spot too

 

[AFK Protector]

I read your story again and it made me cry in happiness. . . .lol BUMPED LIKE AE FVCKIN SHORT BUS!

 

[TheMinistered]

Interesting, I have a black spot in my mind as well! However, I seriously doubt it will go away as I brought it upon myself.

I, like every man, desires a nice clean girl with no previous sexual history; who doesn't? A couple years ago I decided I would take nice church girls, who wanted to wait until marriage, and currupt them. I went a bit to far with one girl and she went from clean cut church to straight gothic crack ***** who periodically cut her self... she now has two stds, no solid-place to live because her family disowned her, and no money because it's all wasted on marijuana, meth, and crack/cocaine.

I've sorta been hiding that in the back of my mind for about two-three years. It feels good to get that off my chest, and I doubt I'll ever try to change someones beliefs ever again-- as it can lead to an emotional/physical/spiritual/mental out of control down-spiral.

 

[wcknightjr]

Part 2:

Wow guys, thanks. I wasn't sure if everyone would get it the way I put it, but I guess you all did.

For some strange reason I wanted to thank her at the end of the night, but I knew she wouldn't understand. So here it goes......Thank you Amy.
***
Ironically it rained here for the first time in six months the very next day. After the rain stopped I went for a walk around the block because I love how everthing is when it ends; the smells, the air. It gets me in a very nostalgic mood, but not this time. I started thinking about the different girls I'm pursuing right now. The thing that was different now was that I wasn't worried about the stupid things like, "I wonder if she likes me", "What do I do?", etc. Sh*t! They're regular people! You have to treat them that way!

For now I'm kinda keepin in touch with a girl that's away in college. She's really my type; she's kinda shy, smart, cute. I'm going in to this knowing that the distance is going to be an issue, but I'm fairly certain she's interested in me, and she's never had a boyfriend so I'm not to worried about her hookin up since she didn't her whole freshman year.

I'm glad I could help you guys out. I've tried to be kind of a psychologist with my friends and their chick problems. I realize that this site has made me so aware of the AFC moves they're making. It also helps me recognize when I'm about to do the same thing.

So that's my next piece of advice. Counsel your friends with your knowledge; it will allow you to easily put theory you have learned into practice at a faster pace, and you'll learn a lot of what NOT to do as well as what TO do.