OK, so here's my situation. I've wanted to date one of my classmates for over a year now. We study and talk to each other all the time. Last year I had mutual friends telling me frequently that she's interested, but she kept rejecting me when I asked her to go out with me. Towards the end of the year I got pissed at her for cancelling dinner with me for some silly event. I didn't talk to her for a week and when we started talking again, she told me that she thinks she likes me (txt msg on my cell). When I approached her about it the next day, she was quick to backtrack saying she doesn't know if it was a good idea to tell me that and then got very flustered and nervous when I asked her on a date. She kept saying "what's the rush?". So I laid low for a few weeks until the stress of our tests had past and asked again. She asked if we could still be friends. I told her that it's probably best if we didn't talk to each other. We didn't speak for four months! When school started again, we started talking again and now she said that she wants a relationship and is over her doubts from last year. We went on a fairly successful date last weekend to a nice restaurant. Her problem is that she's afraid of intimacy and she's very insecure and inexperienced. So, she's not the type that would be comfortable with kino or talking freely about a relationship. I'm not even sure what the hell we have. Is it a relationship? Are we dating? We don't hold hands, share any affection, etc. And she hasn't told her friends that we're dating or that she's interested in me.
This weekend her friends came in from out of town and she wanted me to come with her and hang out with them. She invited another male friend from school as well, so I was a little disappointed that it wasn't just me and a few of her friends. I was going to watch her that night and see how she treated me in front of her friends. Well, she sat by a few times during the night and talked to me, but it seems as if she found the jokes of the guys around me much funnier and seemed much more entertained by them. Plus, her out-of-town friends brought four random guys. At some point in the night I saw her from across the room laughing at some guys' jokes, grasping his wrist when she laughed and then I saw her exchanging numbers with him. Needless to say, I was angry, so I left after the restaurant and didn't hang out with them for the rest of the night. She seemed really disappointed I was leaving early.
I expected her to call me ASAP after that and she didn't call by
6 pm the next day. So, I decided to call her. We had the most awkward conversation lacking the usual enthusiasm. I asked her what she was up to and she asked what I did. The conversation was really boring and full of awkward pauses. I said I was sorry I didn't stick around the previous night. She asked if I had fun and I said I did. She said she felt bad because she wasn't able to spend time with everybody and I mentioned that I wanted to spend more time with her alone, but I understand that she had to spend time with her friends. I asked if she had told any of her friends that we were dating and she said she had mentioned it to her cousin. I asked what her cousin said and she said that her cousin thought I was "nice".
During one of the awkward pauses I decided to confront about getting that guy's # in front of me. I told her that it made me uncomfortable and I wouldn't do that to her, but I didn't do it confidently and it came off really pathetic and clingy. She said he was an old friend from college and he was getting a mutual friend's # from her, not her number. I didn't know what to say to that and there was a lot of awkward silence after that. I said I would talk to her later and got off the phone as quickly as I could. It was so messed up because I actually freaked myself out by how clingy and stalkerish I sounded. It's a new relationship after all. I text messaged her after the call saying "I'm sorry if that conversation came off weird. I didn't intend it to be that way".
Now I think I freaked her out by suddenly becoming this really insecure, jealous jerk who accused her of something she wasn't doing. I should have just been thankful she invited me and sucked it up. It's not like we're anything serious yet. I'm sure she's freaked out and probably sick of me by now. Sorry for the long history. How do I fix this? What the hell do I do now?
This weekend her friends came in from out of town and she wanted me to come with her and hang out with them. She invited another male friend from school as well, so I was a little disappointed that it wasn't just me and a few of her friends. I was going to watch her that night and see how she treated me in front of her friends. Well, she sat by a few times during the night and talked to me, but it seems as if she found the jokes of the guys around me much funnier and seemed much more entertained by them. Plus, her out-of-town friends brought four random guys. At some point in the night I saw her from across the room laughing at some guys' jokes, grasping his wrist when she laughed and then I saw her exchanging numbers with him. Needless to say, I was angry, so I left after the restaurant and didn't hang out with them for the rest of the night. She seemed really disappointed I was leaving early.
I expected her to call me ASAP after that and she didn't call by
6 pm the next day. So, I decided to call her. We had the most awkward conversation lacking the usual enthusiasm. I asked her what she was up to and she asked what I did. The conversation was really boring and full of awkward pauses. I said I was sorry I didn't stick around the previous night. She asked if I had fun and I said I did. She said she felt bad because she wasn't able to spend time with everybody and I mentioned that I wanted to spend more time with her alone, but I understand that she had to spend time with her friends. I asked if she had told any of her friends that we were dating and she said she had mentioned it to her cousin. I asked what her cousin said and she said that her cousin thought I was "nice".
During one of the awkward pauses I decided to confront about getting that guy's # in front of me. I told her that it made me uncomfortable and I wouldn't do that to her, but I didn't do it confidently and it came off really pathetic and clingy. She said he was an old friend from college and he was getting a mutual friend's # from her, not her number. I didn't know what to say to that and there was a lot of awkward silence after that. I said I would talk to her later and got off the phone as quickly as I could. It was so messed up because I actually freaked myself out by how clingy and stalkerish I sounded. It's a new relationship after all. I text messaged her after the call saying "I'm sorry if that conversation came off weird. I didn't intend it to be that way".
Now I think I freaked her out by suddenly becoming this really insecure, jealous jerk who accused her of something she wasn't doing. I should have just been thankful she invited me and sucked it up. It's not like we're anything serious yet. I'm sure she's freaked out and probably sick of me by now. Sorry for the long history. How do I fix this? What the hell do I do now?
