I Really Need Some Input on How to Handle This

[Fantasy]

Fantasy, seriously, the ONLY reason you don't like Warrior's advice is because it is the cold, hard truth that you do not want to face. Look in the mirror, am I lying? You know I am not.

I mean look at you. You're still pondering whether or not to "confront" her. Dude are you serious? Indifference, not hate, is the opposite of love.

Still pondering? I am not pondering any thing. I broke this thing off the same day I started this thread.

I don't like warrior's advice because he knows nothing about me and it is just a plain Sh**** reply. Man, I stay out of the other forums to avoid that crap. There is no way you can sum up a whole year of screwing around in a post. A relationship between two people is too complicated for that. The challenge is to try to get across enough info for some decent input without turning things into a novel. I also realize the challenge in trying to give input without having a lot of background on the relationship. I think the best way to handle the situation is just provide your input without being an ass about it.

I could tell you that all the things she did to kiss my ass and please me during throughout the relationship but that is irrelevant to the above issue that I wanted input on. Is it best just to walk away or say nothing vs. telling dude that she tried to play us both vs. just letting her know that I know and walk off or what. That is all I wanted opinions on.

Okay, people started pointing out the red flags which I was already aware of a lot of red flags in the relationship but still appreciate the deep input on them. Hell, I wasn't going to marry the H* but she did disrespect me. On one hand I thought it would be a punk move to just walk away and allow someone to disrespect me like this and say nothing and on another hand I could of check the B**ch and released my anger. There are pluses and minus. One of my Buddies think I should of slapped the hell out of her but that is not my style and I still have to work with her.

 

[speed dawg]

Only reason I comment is because I've been in your shoes. I've also had extensive experience with single mommies, which by FAR succumb to the principles we preach in here to the extreme.

Most, not all, single mommies are not much more than a cvm dumpster.

 

[Fantasy]

Oh, damn!!! I just read my original post for the first time and realize how Fvked up it sound. I can kick myself in the ass. Now that I reread it, I can see how this look even in a synopsis. No matter what I got out this relationship, I was still getting a number pulled on my ass. The b**ch got me. There is nothing else to say. She just got me good and I facilitated the the method for her to do it. All I can do is forgive myself and move on at this point.

 

[Sinistar]

I like thinking of it this way.

This one's over. You are now free to meet and enjoy billions more. DJ Heaven

 

[spanky]

It happens to the best of us. Sometimes, you just run into freaks with some tight game too and just have to realize that red flags must be heeded to at all times. The longer you mess around with knuckleheaded freaks for whatever reason being that it is money, sex, or security, the more lighter the red flags become. You tend to become more tolerant of a B1tch's shortcomings as you get used to spending time with her.


On another note, how you should have handled this whole thing is an importnat point here. Yesterday, I read probably one of the most interesting and thought provoking thread on sosuave in a long long time. The thread is called "how to NEXT after she disrespects you" or something like that btu the link is at the bottom of this point. I would read the post by Victory Unlimited very carefully because I think it is great. He breaks it down well.

Now there are many views on how to handle a freak who disrespect you like yours did with you. Many advocate walking away and maintaining your diginity and all of that sh!+. My view paralells victory unlimited somehwat. I say you should have check the **** out of that b1tch and then walked! She has to no that you ain't the man to be F**ked with! Creeping with one of your co-workers? She will only do this to the next guy unless someone lay down the hammer and eventually she will probably learn something. I don't mean to get personal but I think it is wussy for a man to be disrespected in a manner like this and just walk away without some repercutions. What's done is done but I would be surprised if you don't feel incomplete sometime down the road for not really letting your ex have it! Just my input, dude.



http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=126307

 

[jophil28]

I have been dating this female for about one year now. We work at the same place. We sometime even work together. We have mostly been keeping our relationship a secret because she said she did not know what my intentions were and that the men in my profession have a bad reputation of asking the women out in our workplace just to screw them and dump them. I cannot deny this accusation so I wnet along with her wishes. She told a few of her coworkers that we were dating but whenever we see each other at work, we say little to each other so no one would know our business. Meanwhile, I have been spending nights with her and her son has grown attached to me and look at me as a father figure which I do not mind.

The first two "reasons" that she gave you for her wish to remain a "secret" with you required more examination at the time.
How does her desire to keep your relationship a secret, balance out her stated insecurity in regard to not being sure about your intentions. It does not make much sense. When women are lying to you quite often you get that uneasy spidey sense that what she just said makes no sense BUT our conditioned inner chump" lets it go" because we are raised to believe that women are " emotional " creatures who lack logic and we cut 'em some slack when they say confusing things. THe truth was she was trumping up a lame excuse for keeping you in the background because she wanted to portray herself as "still available "....to OTHER men.

SEcondly. her fear that she was afraid of becoming a sexual victim of a man in your profession( she claimedthat she feared being f*cked and chucked ) was again a fake. She pulled a typical girl move here. She claimed possible victimhood. Women love the victim position because it alleviates their accountablity and activayes the "save a ho" mentality in the guy. IN this case her fears were NOT going to be mitigated by keeping you a secret . HOw was that going to work for her ? It makes no sense. If she really feared being used then she would never have hooked up with you (or flirted with guy#2 in the first place)
YOu should have used your male logic to conclude that her "reasons' for her desired secrecy were NOT legit and she deserved to be a FWB ONLY.

Thirdly, she let you know that the other guy was chasing her to set herself up as "the prize" and she wanted you and him to compete for her. THis is a power play. Women love this tactic. BUT no woman who is worth an LTR should be kept around when she plays this .
I have been in your shoes so I know how it all plays out.

Women like her are looking for the BBD. They are always scanning the landscape for the " tall, wealthy handsome guy" who will provide for all her needs, BUT along the way she wants to have some fun. THat was YOU - the fun guy.
WE all get played at least once- but once should be enough to learn this hard lesson.

 

[Warrior74]

Oh, damn!!! I just read my original post for the first time and realize how Fvked up it sound. I can kick myself in the ass. Now that I reread it, I can see how this look even in a synopsis. No matter what I got out this relationship, I was still getting a number pulled on my ass. The b**ch got me. There is nothing else to say. She just got me good and I facilitated the the method for her to do it. All I can do is forgive myself and move on at this point.

LOL. gave yourself some tough love eh? Now you see what I was trying to get you to see. Glad you see clearly now man. Move on to bigger and better things! Good luck and enjoy life man, life is great and fun and its time for you to have that now. The way forward, is forward!