I really like this girl, I've known her for a while, BUT

[wjh]

OK. This is going to be hard for me to figure out and understand.

I've read the DJ Bible, some parts more than others.

Party of my problem is, and this is something that I've read on the DJ Bible, is that I must forget about the girls from my past that saw me in an AFC way. OK. I took that to heart, and I don't even so much as communicate with them, except for a couple I can't avoid.

Anyway, I've casually known this girl for about a year (I've only know about this DJ stuff for a couple months now, since I first registered on here). It was very casual, but because she's such an amazingly beautiful girl, I thought her out of my league and did the typical AFC things. I even went so far as to send her an anonymous text message with lameness through out it. I have all of this in the back of my mind. In fact, it's very difficult for me to be honest with myself when even considering her an option.

Well, earlier today I made mention of wanting to see a particular movie. So, to my surprise, she sent me a message asking me if I wanted to take her out to see that movie. I haven't responded yet.

One of the most important things I've gathered from the whole DJ experience, is putting yourself first. I can be a very sensitive guy, and that gets the best of me some times. I'm not a cold, calculating machine. In turn, I place emphasis on what I want from women, not whether or not I can please them. This is true DJ stuff.

Now, let me throw in another kicker. She has a boyfriend. She has had a boyfriend. For how long you ask? I don't know. Pratically a year I'm guessing.

I don't know what to do from here. I'm thinking about going to watch this movie with her, which happens to be a very interesting movie with sex all through-out, but I don't want to be the fall-guy that takes her out to movies while her BF smokes pot with his friends (or whatever) and there I am the emotional tampon, or "friend" that takes HER out to a movie.

Do you see my dillema? Any advice is truly appreciated. Thanks guys. I wish I could see this as plainly as some of the true DJs out there.

 

[huge_guy_pimpin]

drop some date rape drug in her coke, and then have your way with her in the theatre, exit after movie, have your way in the car, get to empty bedroom , enjoy until drug wears out.

 

[NewMan]

**
Well, earlier today I made mention of wanting to see a particular movie. So, to my surprise, she sent me a message asking me if I wanted to take her out to see that movie. I haven't responded yet.
**

This chick is a piece of work isn't she.

She calls you and wants YOU to take her to a movie??? what?

So she has a BF and she wants you to take her out - pay her way and show her a good time....

Well - when your hanging with her do you lay kino on her? How is your relationship?

My opinion would be you call her up and let her know you'd love to go to a movie with her, but that you'll have to take a rain check because youe taking a date.

Then in the future when you guys talk, you can go into detail about these "Other" chicks your dating/banging. Don't overdue it of course.

On the same topic - you should be hitting on other chicks.

**
One of the most important things I've gathered from the whole DJ experience, is putting yourself first. I can be a very sensitive guy, and that gets the best of me some times. I'm not a cold, calculating machine. In turn, I place emphasis on what I want from women, not whether or not I can please them. This is true DJ stuff.
**

exactly - get out there and hit up other chicks as well.

By telling this other chick about you dating other women - your sending her the message that you are a man whoose wanted by women - and that can make her either step it up (if she's interested in you) or possible look at you in another light (if she's not).

Either way, your not wasting your money - and your sending her a message.

 

[wjh]

Wow. I love your attitude. Let me go further by stating:

First, our relationship has been very casual. I've never gone out anywhere with her alone. Which is why this surprises me. The kino has been VERY light - because I thought she was relatively out of my league. She's an older girl (24), I'm a young buck (22), and I've always been under the impression that generally girls like her date older guys... I know, that's very AFC. But that's why I'm here. I know that's not true, now. But that's why I stopped even attempting anything with her, she's pre-DJ -- she's someone I should avoid attempting anything with because, like what the post in the DJ Bible says, she's seen me at my worst. And, I still remember all the garbage that ran through my head at the time. I'm finding it very difficult to reconcile that within myself.

But I don't want to give up on it. Unfortunately, I don't see an angle here that I could play.

Yeah, the raincheck thing sounds great, actually! Too bad I don't have any other real date. I brought the movie up casually.

Between my studies and work (read: developing a passion), I've managed to neglect aggressively, or even semi-aggressively, dating other women (plus it puts a hurting on my wallet). You know, I actually have only one girl that I just mess around with, that I don't care about, but gets my socks off every once in a while. I wouldn't take her out to see this kind of movie, she's not that type.

Which leads me to another thought. I could just take her out to see the movie, because I want to see the movie -- and not with a bbuddy. So, should I just confront her about going Dutch? Her car took a dump, maybe I should tell her "I'll fly if you buy"?

If you need any more info about me or my current situation, please, feel free to ask. I'm looking for good analysis here! Thanks.

Originally posted by NewMan
**
Well, earlier today I made mention of wanting to see a particular movie. So, to my surprise, she sent me a message asking me if I wanted to take her out to see that movie. I haven't responded yet.
**

This chick is a piece of work isn't she.

She calls you and wants YOU to take her to a movie??? what?

So she has a BF and she wants you to take her out - pay her way and show her a good time....

Well - when your hanging with her do you lay kino on her? How is your relationship?

My opinion would be you call her up and let her know you'd love to go to a movie with her, but that you'll have to take a rain check because youe taking a date.

Then in the future when you guys talk, you can go into detail about these "Other" chicks your dating/banging. Don't overdue it of course.

On the same topic - you should be hitting on other chicks.

**
One of the most important things I've gathered from the whole DJ experience, is putting yourself first. I can be a very sensitive guy, and that gets the best of me some times. I'm not a cold, calculating machine. In turn, I place emphasis on what I want from women, not whether or not I can please them. This is true DJ stuff.
**

exactly - get out there and hit up other chicks as well.

By telling this other chick about you dating other women - your sending her the message that you are a man whoose wanted by women - and that can make her either step it up (if she's interested in you) or possible look at you in another light (if she's not).

Either way, your not wasting your money - and your sending her a message.

 

[NewMan]

**
So, should I just confront her about going Dutch? Her car took a dump, maybe I should tell her "I'll fly if you buy"?
**

No.

I always believe if you ask her out you pay.

If she's inviting herself - don't being up paying - just role up to the window and get one ticket. Then you wait for her to get hers.

Some women will have an attitude if you do this - expect you to buy. But if your not "Dating" her - it's not your porogative. So if she wants to see to movie she pays. Your not going to pay her way unless your getting something out of it (or the potential at least). If she assumes that your paying - tough luck on her - she's not getting a free ride from you. Nuff said.


So - from now one you need to start opening up your dating horizen.

I'd tell this chick you've got a date.

Then when you guys meet up again - you need to start playing het harder. Be more sexual. But you've got to be fun about it.

Don't be afraid to drop in that you had a good time watching that movie - although you don't remember the ending - your date got a little frisky at the end - if you know what I mean.... wink wink.


Let Kino, C&F and intrigue do the rest.

 

[wjh]

I appreciate the advice!

Since I don't have another date, I don't feel like lying and putting that pressure on myself... I'm not a good liar. Like I said, I really want to see this movie. So, I think I'll take her, but I won't pay for her ticket. God, I hope I don't chump-out and pay for her.

MUST NOT PAY. MUST NOT PAY. CANNOT PAY.

I've never taken out a girl as hot as her and NOT paid... IF she makes a scene, God, I hope not, and she embarasses me, I know I should drop her, and never talk to her... but what do I do AT THAT particular moment? I have a lot of "What ifs" running through my head... I'm thinking I should play it cool... Is it possible to over-think this type of stuf? haha, because I think I am.

 

[NewMan]

Yeah I think you will be a woose and pay.

I really think you should not go with her. My opinion.

If she comments on you not paying - she's a full b#tch.

In this case shrug your shoulders and go watch the movie alone.

You don't need someone like that in your life.

 

[blue17]

how do you feel about her in general? Dating material? You never really mentioned what YOU want specifically. Are u willing to take what she gives you, or do you have a more clear plan in mind? Do u want to fvck her brains out, be a casual friend, social proof....or what?

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by NewMan
I always believe if you ask her out you pay.

He DIDN'T ask her out, though. SHE asked HIM.

And I don't believe it was in a romantic way, either.

Man, you can try whatever you want...just don't be surprised if she gets creeped out and gives you the "friendship" spiel.

You may be able to adjust her opinion of you to one more romantically favorable, but I dunno if you're going to accomplish that in one movie-date. But it's a start. And be careful that boyfriend thing doesn't come around to bite you...other dudes, especially AFC ones, can get jealous, even if you're NOT a threat.

 

[NewMan]

**
He DIDN'T ask her out, though. SHE asked HIM.
**

Absolutely.

She invites herself - she pays for herself - unless she's giving out BJ's through the movie.

 

[Desdinova]

Now, let me throw in another kicker. She has a boyfriend.

For chrissake, there's thousands of women out there, and you had to get all hot and bothered for some chick who has a boyfriend, and who's using you to take her places her lousy bf won't take her.

You're being used. You're the one who compensates for her boyfriend's lack of interest.

Go to the fvcking movie by yourself. Are you so helpless that you can't see a movie without somebody to keep you company? You're a big boy now!

And go find yourself some other women who don't have boyfriends.

 

[wjh]

Originally posted by Desdinova
For chrissake, there's thousands of women out there, and you had to get all hot and bothered for some chick who has a boyfriend, and who's using you to take her places her lousy bf won't take her.

You're being used. You're the one who compensates for her boyfriend's lack of interest.

Go to the fvcking movie by yourself. Are you so helpless that you can't see a movie without somebody to keep you company? You're a big boy now!

And go find yourself some other women who don't have boyfriends.

This is what I needed.

I'm telling her I'm busy. **** her. In fact, I'm pissed off right now.

 

[ManOMan]

First of all,

GO SEE the movie with her , but dont pay! just make a joke like "thats so great of you to pay my way!"

She may have a b/f and be off limits..but what if you guys click..and she decides she likes u??

If u dont go with her, you will never know..alot of guys here are trying to tell you to beware of LJBF..you can still be cautious and go out with her..have fun..u never know what will happen

 

[wjh]

Originally posted by ManOMan
First of all,

GO SEE the movie with her , but dont pay! just make a joke like "thats so great of you to pay my way!"

She may have a b/f and be off limits..but what if you guys click..and she decides she likes u??

If u dont go with her, you will never know..alot of guys here are trying to tell you to beware of LJBF..you can still be cautious and go out with her..have fun..u never know what will happen

Too late. I told her something came up, and I can't make it.

But, you know, I don't want to go with her. Yea, she has a boyfriend. And, yea, she might like me and decide I'm better than him. But, do I want to go through with all of that? No, not really. I want her, to an extent, but I don't want to have to struggle with myself through it. The problem is, I've always liked her for more than just banging, I don't know why, I just have. She's a cool girl (usually). I just can't get over the fact that she has a boyfriend, and that I'm going to watch this specific movie with her -- ON TOP of all the other **** that I don't feel comfortable about remembering (pre-DJ/AFC stuff I did and acted on). I don't have it in me to just chill out and watch a movie with her. I would be lying to myself if I went out with her "just as a friend" or to get at her for her friends. That's not me.

Oh, and, I don't really care about social proof, it's never been something I've conciously tried to gain.

There are other girls out there, just as good looking, that are single.

 

[skinnydart]

Wierd, I have the exact situation here. Older girl, hot, mentioned she's already dating someone, we've known eachother casually for about a year, always thought she was to hot for me to think about taking out. Then she kept contacting me, and eventually mentioned this movie that she wanted to see. I didn't know what that meant, I mean I know she thought I was a cool guy, so I was thinking she just wanted to hang out as friends. I didn't care, I liked her as a person as well, so I asked her out.

She doens't have a car but she works at the theater so it worked out good, she got us in free and I provided the ride.

 

[eecumstains]

she is stringing you along and making you her cuddle*****

you will never be more than a friend to her

sorry dude

it happens to all of us

move on

 

[wjh]

Originally posted by eecumstains
she is stringing you along and making you her cuddle*****

you will never be more than a friend to her

sorry dude

it happens to all of us

move on

yea man. i'm still thinking about her, and i have other girls i could be talking to... this sucks. i almost wish she never entered my life.

 

[blue17]

Just an idea.....maybe part of the attraction is that you can't have her. The fact that she has a boyfriend, yet she is teasing you by wanting to spend time with you. This is agonizing because you get a taste of her, but you know can't have the whole thing. It almost becomes a 'quest' of sorts to try to win her over, even if the odds are against you.

I believe you when you say it's more than a physical attraction, it's 'something' about her that draws you. Well whatever it is you like about her is only amplified by the fact that you can't have her. Once you understand why you are attracted to her, I think it is easier to move on.

If you still have trouble moving on, just meet other girls. You don't have to go out asking for numbers in a desperate fashion, but even having friendly conversations with good looking girls will really revitalize you. Even if you don't have any dates lined up...just meeting new people is a refreshing experience...and you will wonder why you were ever interested in her in the first place. Best of luck.