I really...cannot meet genuine people at clubs..

[ThunderMaverick]

I had it in my mind a few days ago, based on my previous encounter with a chick I met at a bar, and my history with an EX (my catalyst) that I wanted to be lied to. I wanted to be told how special or cute or funny I was even if it was a lie. I mean after all women are going to lie to me anyways, it might as well be something positive. It started getting to a point where all women fit into one catagory: horrible creatures.

It started a few days ago at a bar when I met a girl a week prior. She got my number at the end of the night and a week later we were hanging out drinking. She was 42 with 3 kids. It seemed like all she wanted was a screw. Nice! She said let's go back to her house for some more drinks and I followed. We get to her place and there's her 18 year old son in the next room. I try to put it out of my mind and we go into her room to get more physical. Her son text her with "mom ur nasty inviting guys over that you just met" After that she totally turns cold on me saying "we're not having sex. Oh, but that's what you were expecting, wasn't it?! Wasn't it?!" I told her I wasn't expecting THIS and I got up and walked home.

Totally drunk and in a pissy mood I went to a strip club not too far from my house. Met some strippers who use to know my sister (she was a stripper too, now she's completely clean and sober =D) so I guess they were extra nice. Got a lapdance...whatever. I really liked it. So much I spent 60 bucks on a chick. I left thinking "you know, I can pay a chick to be nice to me and see her naked. Why the f*ck am I dealing with two faced chicks in bars and clubs!?"

I went back the day after, sober and dropped another 60 bucks on the same chick. It wasn't the same. I guess the alcohol masked the hollowness of it all, but I really just felt alone in there, even when talking to the girls. In a nutshell, in my eyes I acted like a pig towards one of the strippers. She totally didn't notice because that's her world. It happens to her all the time. She was nice, about it, like it was completely normal but I just really felt ashamed of myself. My sister would kill me if she found out because she knows that I'm better than that. I'm not going into details. I'm just really ashamed. If you PM me I'll let you know hahaha. I guess I'm not strong enough to take judgment right now.


So what am I feeling? Sad? Or in a slump? My state of mind is affecting the kind of people that I meet and I think I need to be alone or away from people for a while. Anyone else feel this way?

 

[ThunderMaverick]

No replies? No input? I mean I SPENT 100 bucks on a stripper!! I don't have 100 bucks!! I was completely in lust! BAD!! FRIGGIN BAD!! I was being a ego broken pathetic mess! I let one bad night with a 42 year old completely change my state of mind concerning women! Do I have to give a self analysis/solution to myself here?!

*sigh* I might have been away from this site for too long.

 

[mintxx]

You need a change of scene mate. I'd offer something but I've just spent my allotted 5 minutes on this site ranting at someone else, and I don't have anything really useful to say other than that I reckon you need a new environment that does not incorporate 42 year olds at bars. Come to Australia, it's just hotting up down under =)

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Your signature cheered me up. Thanks. :rockon:

 

[Andy_Dufresne]

Her son text her with "mom ur nasty inviting guys over that you just met" After that she totally turns cold on me saying "we're not having sex. Oh, but that's what you were expecting, wasn't it?! Wasn't it?!" I told her I wasn't expecting THIS and I got up and walked home.

Speaking as one that has an ex and a son around the same ages, don't take her rebuff personally. The woman's son railed her conscience big time, that's all, and she freaked out. Think about it from a parent's perspective for a sec. I know that if my teenage son called me and told me my ex was bringing home strangers to s^rew I would read the riot act on my ex, and use it as ammo for custody.

It was extremely poor judgement on her part. You are not to blame at all, you were just along for the ride.

Don't let this get you down, man. No worries.

 

[Magma]

Yo Thunder,

You sound really down brother. I'm sorry to hear that you are in this funk. And don't feel like crap for having a momentary lapse of reason with the stripper. Happens to the best of us. A little "drinker's remorse" is expected from time to time. It would worry me if you WEREN'T a little concerned about being a jerk.

You have to pick yourself up by your bootstraps brother. Nobody else will do it for you. Get your head right, and the rest will follow.

When I'm feeling this way, I just get out of town. I pack up my truck, get my hiking/camping/fishing/skiing gear and head the phuck out of town. Being up in the mountains by myself (or riding my motorcycle) is better therapy than anything else out there.

Wish you the best, my man. I don't like seeing you in a funk.


Respect.

 

[Warrior74]

No replies? No input? I mean I SPENT 100 bucks on a stripper!! I don't have 100 bucks!! I was completely in lust! BAD!! FRIGGIN BAD!! I was being a ego broken pathetic mess! I let one bad night with a 42 year old completely change my state of mind concerning women! Do I have to give a self analysis/solution to myself here?!

yah you do. you need to be a man and do a self analysis/solution. look at you whining like a little bytch. Yah. Be a man. Fix your own problems. You used to be on this site so you know what you did wrong. YOU KNOW. Stop looking for a pity party and being lazy. Ya fock! And stop bottom feeding with scum you stupid head. I hope I made you mad and I hope you do something about it by fixing yourself. Good luck son.


Now...go hang out at some classier places. Something more upscale. Why are you settling for 42 year olds in the first place? Figure that shyt out when your doing your self analysis.

 

[squirrels]

TM...funny stuff.

The last woman I hooked up with was very similar circumstances. Early 40s but still good-looking, picked her up for a one-night deal. Went back to her house and her 10-year-old son is sleeping in her bed. Shoulda called it a night, but I hadn't gotten laid in a while and after a woman is sucking you off for a while you start to lose perspective and just wanna get off. So since he was in her bed, she suggested we use HIS bed. So I'm lying sideways on this kid's bed I can't fit on, amidst all these stuffed animals, with her on top of me...the whole thing just made me feel dirty afterward...f**ked up my head for several months. It was hot while it lasted, though.

But you, like me, kinda walked into it. 42 with three kids? Shoulda known better. BTW, she surely would've f'd you if her kid hadn't said something.

I have the older women always hitting on me. I'm trying to stay away from them...it's "the easy way out".

As for spending money on a stripper, don't worry about it. Every once in a while I'll go ahead and pay a girl to grind her ass on me. I love it...it's raw. These women dance like women OUGHT to f*ck...they have fun with it, relish turning the man on and don't really give it too much thought.

I WISH you could get clean upscale prostitutes for $120. That'll barely buy you a street *****, though. Honestly, if I could find one of those upscale brothels that charged that for a f*ck, or even a good BJ, I would be a regular weekend customer. Beats spending ALL that money on liquor, cover charges, gas and parking to get into the city, etc and still having to WORK for p***y or coming home empty-handed.

That being said, of COURSE people at clubs aren't "genuine". Not right away, for the most part. But then, not many strangers ARE. You need to learn to listen to them and follow the verbal/nonverbal signals they give you. Things they mention unsolicited tell you a lot about their feelings and insecurities. Just be willing to listen.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

It's not like I was hard up for sex. I mean I got laid the week before. It was the lack of respect she showed me. I just CANNOT stand being disrespected. When disrespect is unwarranted it really bothers me.

But you, like me, kinda walked into it. 42 with three kids? Shoulda known better. BTW, she surely would've f'd you if her kid hadn't said something.

I have the older women always hitting on me. I'm trying to stay away from them...it's "the easy way out".

You are NOT kidding. I get proposals from older women all the friggin time at work. I need to leave them alone.

I WISH you could get clean upscale prostitutes for $120. That'll barely buy you a street *****, though. Honestly, if I could find one of those upscale brothels that charged that for a f*ck, or even a good BJ, I would be a regular weekend customer. Beats spending ALL that money on liquor, cover charges, gas and parking to get into the city, etc and still having to WORK for p***y or coming home empty-handed.

This one paragraph shows that women truly do NOT understand men. After all is said and done, after all the emotional drainage and drama...we just want to get laid.

Speaking as one that has an ex and a son around the same ages, don't take her rebuff personally. The woman's son railed her conscience big time, that's all, and she freaked out. Think about it from a parent's perspective for a sec. I know that if my teenage son called me and told me my ex was bringing home strangers to s^rew I would read the riot act on my ex, and use it as ammo for custody.

Yeah I know I'm trying not to take it personally but if I'm in a funk I really try my best not to take it out on others. It's not fair and it shows a lack of self control. But then again I'm talking about a drunk woman here. I would expect a little more maturity for a 42 YEAR OLD!!!

Who here said "women never grow up."? I want to rep you.

 

[ketostix]

Who here said "women never grow up."? I want to rep you.

That would be me. Rep time :cheer:

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear ThunderMaverick,
The feeling of frustration that comes through yours and others letters is a sad business.....The problem with bottom feeding is that if you associate with sad and lonely people you come to resemble them....I have been there many years ago,waking up with kids running round the bed,and the sad realisation that you are helping these kids develop a self perpetuating values system that will just mean more disfunctional families in the future.......So yeah,the healing power of Nature,Magma has it right find a little solitude to perhaps see your life in some perspective,maybe plan some new strategies to achieve your directions,then seek the company and advice of those who have achieved some success in these areas....Get out of your comfort zone and take up some courses,cooking,dancing even a language where you meet people from different backgrounds,it will get you out of the Club.Don't have an agenda you are taking your little boat into unknown waters,just drift a while,all the time remembering that the DJ knowledge you have taken onboard in these threads gives you an almost unfair advantage on the other guys you will be meeting and competing with.

 

[Juando]

I appreciate the raw honesty of this thread.

And some funny sh*t!! Funny because I've been there as many of us have...

I've pulled back a bit lately from trying to "make it happen" and surprise surprise my phone is ringing more than ever from women wanting to "connect".

Push-Pull. Sometimes you have to crash and burn, create some ashes to rise from....

Recharge your batteries and rejoin the party when you're ready.

 

[edger]

As for spending money on a stripper, don't worry about it. Every once in a while I'll go ahead and pay a girl to grind her ass on me. I love it...it's raw. These women dance like women OUGHT to f*ck...they have fun with it, relish turning the man on and don't really give it too much thought.

I WISH you could get clean upscale prostitutes for $120. That'll barely buy you a street *****, though. Honestly, if I could find one of those upscale brothels that charged that for a f*ck, or even a good BJ, I would be a regular weekend customer. Beats spending ALL that money on liquor, cover charges, gas and parking to get into the city, etc and still having to WORK for p***y or coming home empty-handed.

Aren't they(strippers and escorts/prostitutes) great? I really don't know what I'd do without them. They truly are a gift and help you in your time of need.

Squirrels, if you wanna find prostitutes for a good price, go to Amsterdam, I'm tellin' ya. There you'll find a lot of HOT ones. It's 50 Euros to go the full nine yards with them, although I choose not to have intercourse with them(I never have intercourse prostitutes/escorts, but I do everything else though..it's not like I really enjoy intercourse that much anyway). 50 Euros is equivalent to about 70 U.S. dollars. Cheap, and you get top notch women..playboy/porn material.

Really, set yourself up for a trip there, it's definitely worth it. I was just there last month, and I'm going back next week. I travel for free, so it works out good for me.

 

[HoneyHitter]

Aren't they(strippers and escorts/prostitutes) great? I really don't know what I'd do without them. They truly are a gift and help you in your time of need.

Squirrels, if you wanna find prostitutes for a good price, go to Amsterdam, I'm tellin' ya. There you'll find a lot of HOT ones. It's 50 Euros to go the full nine yards with them, although I choose not to have intercourse with them(I never have intercourse prostitutes/escorts, but I do everything else though..it's not like I really enjoy intercourse that much anyway). 50 Euros is equivalent to about 70 U.S. dollars. Cheap, and you get top notch women..playboy/porn material.

Really, set yourself up for a trip there, it's definitely worth it. I was just there last month, and I'm going back next week. I travel for free, so it works out good for me.

This is so sad. The OP's problem isn't solved by some prostitute.
Like someone mentioned before, he should figure out why he went home with the 42 y/o in the first place and get that handled first. Lack of options. Why? Lacking social skills, fear of rejection, limiting beliefs, low self-esteem.

I live in Amsterdam, and 7 years ago I had a U.S. housemate for a while.
He found a job here and eventually fell in love with a prostitute. It ended up with him being threatened by the pimp and leaving the country.

 

[MatureDJ]

The women in Amsterdam are (for 50 EUR) for 15 minutes, wham bam, thank you m'am. However you can usually find some cheaper than that. I have found Warsaw and points east to be a better alternative.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Brother Thunder,

What did we spend an hour talking about on the phone? I know you're bright and deserving of someone who respects you.

But.

You have to love yourself and give a sh!t about your own opinion first.

You're getting there brother, it just takes you putting on foot infront of the other.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Whooo boy. Y'know I wish I could actually hang out with Karma and Guru in person. I'm just surrounded by failures, crooks and wh0res. I honestly don't want to say I'm better than another human being. I mean we all have potential to do great things...however it's just really discouraging. Didn't Hamlet have this problem? I just rarely find tangible positive reinforcement. I find my hope here (and the "other" site) but when I log off of hang up the phone, here I am back in my world of losers.

I actually got into a huge fight with my dad the other day over the phone about this. "you're 27 and you're not doing this and that with your life. Here's what you NEED to do." I'm not saying that my dad doesn't have wisdom, but he really doesn't support what I want to do with my life. He wants me to do things HIS way. School, degree, church woman, etc. Where I want to go in life I don't need those things and working for what I want to do is just as hard as school. He literally talks to me like a child. (he was never there when I was growing up so he missed out on a lot) He ends up blaming everyone else for how his kids turned out. (reality is my Dad was and still is a AFC. just the really overbearing controlling type. THREE MARRIAGES!! THREE!! THEY ALL LEFT HIM. ALL THREE OF THEM! I ended up saying "I don't want to follow where you've been. You have three failed marriages, you live from apartment to apartment and you're a struggling plumber. I don't want to follow your footsteps. I don't want to be like you!!"

"YOU MIGHT NOT BE ALIVE TOMORROW!! GOD WILL PUNISH YOU IF YOU DISRESPECT YOUR FATHER!! GOD MIGHT STRIKE YOU DOWN FOR THAT."

I just hung up.

To Guru, I mean the 42 year old chick was freaking hot! I've never had a woman over 30 before and I was really curious! Big tits, big ass. Nice lips. Great overall. However if I knew the b!tch was going to have her emo son texting her nasty messages while I was trying to get some I wouldn't have given her a second look.

The kind of chicks I get varies and it has to do with my looks, it seems. People find me very attractive and I get compliments on it almost everyday. Depending on how much of myself that I am, girls think I'm a player or a user. I'm totally not. It's like I almost have to tone down who I am because I scare chicks off. Hahahaha. What can you do about first impressions, eh?

I'm not lacking in the poontang department. I'm going to screw a 19 year old next week and I got invited to a threesome last night while I was bartending. It's just...the respect I'm looking for. The more I find disrespect the more discouraged I get. Before you know it I find myself in the same mindset as the people I don't want to be like around here.


To be...or not to be.

 

[Gia Giovanni]

I had it in my mind a few days ago, based on my previous encounter with a chick I met at a bar, and my history with an EX (my catalyst) that I wanted to be lied to. I wanted to be told how special or cute or funny I was even if it was a lie. I mean after all women are going to lie to me anyways, it might as well be something positive. It started getting to a point where all women fit into one catagory: horrible creatures.

Are you projecting your behaviors on to others, or do you really believe that all women are going to lie to you? Sheesh, you guys are totally down on women. Do you have issues with you mother or sister that you cannot conquer or something?

 

[ThunderMaverick]

I'll say it like this: There's not a woman I've met yet who hasn't lied to me...yes, I've even caught my mother boldly lying to me in my face.

Please give me contact info on a woman you know who doesn't lie. We'll get along just fine.

 

[Vulpine]

I'm not lacking in the poontang department. I'm going to screw a 19 year old next week and I got invited to a threesome last night while I was bartending. It's just...the respect I'm looking for. The more I find disrespect the more discouraged I get. Before you know it I find myself in the same mindset as the people I don't want to be like around here.

Yeah, "respect" has been a hot topic in my brain lately. Standing on the "in" side of the bar, you see a lot. Many people just flat-out aren't respectful in any way of other people, sober or otherwise. It's is very discouraging. I would say "it comes with the territory". People seem to think that a bartender is a whipping post. When really they are people with complicated lives just as anyone else.

(every time this one guy came up for a drink, he was rude and made a scene. This time, I had to shut him down.)

Drunk: "Hey, jackazz! Get me another, b¡tch!"
V: :nono: "I don't neeeed this job, you know."
Drunk: "What the ƒuck are you talking about?"
V: *sets down drinks, squares up, clenches fists* "How about, instead of another drink, I hop the counter here and knock some teeth down your throat?"
Drunk: :nervous: "Hey, wait a minute, guy..."
V: "It's an option. Keep it in mind next time you need my help.":flowers:*picks drinks back up, proceeds with business*
Drunk: (as I'm walking off, turns to the girls in the area) "What a d¡ck ...there goes his tip."
V: *still walking, turns head back* "You don't tip anyway, 'baller'."
(Girls erupt into laughter at the tool and his tooling)
V: *escalates voice a little for the whole bar to tune in, sets down drinks for customer* "IN FACT... HEY, (other chick bartending)"
Other chick bartending: *looks over from what she's doing*
V: *points to the guy* "DONE."
Other chick bartending: "Thaaaank Yoooouuuu, Vuuuuulpiiiine."
(bar starts laughing at the clown)

I use this as an example, but it happens in other areas too, and often. Just as any other aspect of your life, kick those that are disrespectful out of the castle. Often, others will thank you for it.

This has been a focal point of mine for quite some time: recognizing and empowering myself to control the things in my life that are within my control. I used to choke down huge quantities of bullsh¡t and to no end. That passive approach wasn't working for me, so I'm trying this new "masculine" style. It's been working quite well for me.

So, with your life, TM, recognize what aspects are within your control and take action accordingly. "This sucks, how do I fix it?" "This doesn't work, what should I do differently?" "I don't like this, what would I like more?" Do a little troubleshooting and make adjustments.

I'll admit that it may sound simple, but, sometimes it's hard to see the simplicity of the solutions through all the details of the problem.