I realized today that I still have problems with being a nice guy. How to destroy it?

[Deicide]

Hello. I realized today that I still have problems with being a nice guy. I approached an HB 8 Blonde Athlete in the cafeteria. I had a decent approach with her, and I ended up telling her my name again, and she didn't want to give me hers once again. I said "You didn't give me your name, well, that's cool". WTF! Why did I say that? I thought the exact same thing right after the approach. It made me realize I'm way too much of a nice guy subconsciously. It's not cool that she didn't give me her name. It's downright *****y actually. I'm working to improve myself and not be such a nice guy. But 22 years of being one is hard to get over. Still, I will get over it. But, what can I do to stop being such a nice guy?
I'm approaching attractive women regularly, and I'm either not nervous or just a little when I approach them. So, the next step must be taken. Destroy that Nice Guy side of me that lets people walk over me. How do I do this?

 

[green69]

Since when is letting people walk all over you considered "being nice" ?

 

[Deicide]

Since when is letting people walk all over you considered "being nice" ?

It goes along with being a nice guy typically. I'm trying to stand my ground and not let people walk all over me, especially men. But, I haven't had that problem too much with women because I haven't had much success with them.

 

[5string]

Have you ever thought that one could be both a nice guy and an alpha male at the same time?

I'd say you just need to be more confidence. Start paying attention to how you are interacting with others. Change your tactics a bit and approach with confidence. See my sig.

 

[Jariel]

You're thinking about it wrong. The worst trait of being a "nice guy" is getting angry when things don't go your way or when your "niceness" doesn't get you what you want.

There's nothing wrong with what you said. It IS cool because she doesn't owe you anything and you have no reason to get caught up on this chick. She didn't give you her name, move on and forget about it.

The problem a lot of nice guys have is confusing their politeness and carefree nature for being too nice (and therefore unattractive to women) and then trying to act like some angry and bitter little pr!ck to overcompensate.

The qualities of the jerk that makes him so attractive to women is his coolness and carefree nature. He can sweet talk a chick in a cafeteria one minute, then go and do the same to a chick at another table. He simply goes for what he wants and remains unfazed about anyone's opinion.

Just keep doing what you're doing, but just take the rejections in your stride.

 

[Noodles]

Don't even ask her for her name. The last girl I started dating I introduced myself and said 'and you're sandwich shop girl' - that's where I met her.

Of course she told me her name...no one wants to be called something like that. Then I said something like 'You'll always be Little Miss Pret to me'. Pret was the name of the shop.

You need to get over your fear of women. Answer me this - how do you act around men? I.e. strangers - not your friends?

 

[kush]

Why give your name if she's not even curious?

 

[DanelMadr]

Hello. I realized today that I still have problems with being a nice guy. I approached an HB 8 Blonde Athlete in the cafeteria. I had a decent approach with her, and I ended up telling her my name again, and she didn't want to give me hers once again. I said "You didn't give me your name, well, that's cool". WTF! Why did I say that? I thought the exact same thing right after the approach. It made me realize I'm way too much of a nice guy subconsciously. It's not cool that she didn't give me her name. It's downright *****y actually. I'm working to improve myself and not be such a nice guy. But 22 years of being one is hard to get over. Still, I will get over it. But, what can I do to stop being such a nice guy?
I'm approaching attractive women regularly, and I'm either not nervous or just a little when I approach them. So, the next step must be taken. Destroy that Nice Guy side of me that lets people walk over me. How do I do this?

There is nothing wrong with being cool about snotty girl being an inpolite bytch. Actually it is pretty good that you can't be phased by her rude rejection. Wrong would be being angry or sad about it or trying to lick her ass after what she did to you.

But since you beat yourself about it and you proclaim to be a Nice Guy, I Believe you. Getting rid of the Nice Guy is simply being assertive in life. Which is not easy for you can overdo it or just pretend it.

I think the right way is doing and saying things so later you don't feel bad about yourself. What would my perfect me said and done? Is it insecurity talking? Is it my inner wussy boy desperate for attention and approval talking?
You have to correct yourself. No need to be cruel to yourself....keep it light hearted.

Actually one of the best books in this matter is from Dr.Glover "No More Nice Guy" or something like that. I believe every guy here should read it first, before trying to play the girls.

 

[the_great_gaia]

I would have made fun of her..

But you didn't do anything wrong, she's probably one of those chics that think she's the best thing on Earth since water. Fvck her, dude..

 

[Deicide]

Yes, I'm not worried about what happened yesterday.
And, I'm very relaxed talking with men. A lot more so than women. Though, I'm a lot less nervous than I used to be talking to women. Some women and circumstances make me more nervous than usual, but that's a part of growing.

 

[Alle_Gory]

It goes along with being a nice guy typically. I'm trying to stand my ground and not let people walk all over me, especially men. But, I haven't had that problem too much with women because I haven't had much success with them.

It goes along with letting people walk on you. There's nothing wrong with being nice. You handled it well. She was a ***** you said "oh that's cool" and walked away. Cool headed.

 

[initiatorhater06]

which is why women have higher standards, most men will accept a woman who is bratty or boring, has no life, has no spine, as long as she is very hot.

 

[Deicide]

which is why women have higher standards, most men will accept a woman who is bratty or boring, has no life, has no spine, as long as she is very hot.

I see men with lesser women all the time here in West Tennessee. And a lot of the time, the women the men settle for aren't even that great-looking. People seem to be dying for long-term relationships here. But, I guess it's a universal trend as well.

 

[ENIGMA16]

Next time you open a girl start off directly by giving her sh!t. That will set your internal mood so that you won't be such a pvssy.