I smoked 20 a day for a good 2 years. Marlboro reds, nicest cigs ever. Then of course, I felt my health go down the toilet and realised how much of a horrific habbit it is.
I also got drunk yesterday, and didnt enjoy it. Woke up with a hangover, I felt like **** because I cheated on my training diet - especially since I cant train at the moment :\
For me, it would appear that instead of smoking when I drink, I drink when I go out. I cant seem to help it. If I'm gonna drink, I'd rather get sloshed than have 3-4 and know how many empty calories is in there. Sort of in the same boat I guess eh?
I think you're suffering from a guilt problem, rather than a smoking problem. The fact you were never going to do it and now you're doing it all the time. Trust me, you're not addicted yet. Not 15-20 a day addicted. Not when you quit, you want one every 20 mins of so, even when you're not around smoke.
Jack it in man, it's not gonna do you any good to continue you. Man have got balls, and I always thought you had balls... dont prove me wrong