I on the edge of not NEVER try to meet girls online again. Help!

[DJ Logic]

Dude.. Duuuuuuude! WTF????!

Please tell me you didn't pay for those pickup lines. They are hands down the worst I've ever read. "Do I look gay?" Seriously? *smacks forehead*

Some basic tips for you from someone who enjoys great success with online game:

Girls can tell when your response is canned. You should really have a look at their profiles because they are rife with information and clues to help you break the ice. See what her interests are and use THAT to introduce yourself. Comment on her personality, the things she likes, her overall vibe. Show some interest in who she is and not how great she will look bouncing on your c-ck.

Never, EVER and I mean f-cking NEVER comment on her looks. Trust me, these girls get that sh-t 24/7 and all it does is put you in the stalker/loser pile. She already knows you like what you see, if you didn't you wouldn't be writing her (duh!)

Also it helps to have a decent profile. I am almost scared to see what kind of info you put up. If you want a little coaching and are too embarrassed to post, PM me and I will give you some tips.

Make no mistake, you really do need all the help you can get. I feel like I need to talk to 10 normal people after reading your post.

 

[Masculinity]

I have to ask this because I am assuming you are not a retard. Are you foreign? Like from Russia or something? The way you talk/write seems really odd.

IF not, I live in the LA area as well. When you get back, I would be more than happy to have a beer with you and we can talk and see what is going on. Let me know.

In the meantime, STOP with the gay comment, STOP with the I'm on "vaca" (gay) comment, STOP with the I don't give my number out comment. (really? That is something a woman says, not a strong man. Are you afraid of being stalked or something?)

Your 2nd exchange with the other girl was just as bad as the first. You are coming across as trying wayyyyyy to hard, and way to.....weird. Talk naturally. Like you would with a guy at the bar. Not this canned sh!t you picked up somewhere. It is just so bad. So very very bad.

Haha, I am definitely not retarded. Foreign? Mmm...I came to the US when I was 13; I'm originally from Guatemala, but I lived in Boston for about 6 years and now I'm in LA for college. I'm Latino and Italian mixed. My first LTR of 2.5 years ended two weeks ago and I'm trying to talk to other girls.

This is my first break-up ever so forgive me if I seem desperate or creepy; I'm genuinely none of the things I was called, although I tend to be impatient in general. I also tend to make dumb, little misspellings when I'm upset. I get very nervous when I'm upset and the responses I received to my thread are all true. I'm trying too hard and I know it, but don't know much better. Like I mentioned in the thread above, I was never really introduced to being social and meeting new people. My father is the same way so I can't learn much from him.

Regarding the "I don't give my number out" thing. This actually has worked for me in person before; it reverses the male-female stereotype, but in this case I just worded it terribly. This break-up messed me up. I'm familiar with David D'angelo's teachings and have some of his programs, but they went to the back of my head after being with the same woman for a long time.

She fell in love with me and vise versa. We stayed together for 2 years and then I moved to LA and things started going downhill from there. She said she's said all the time because I'm not around and she doesn't want to be sad; she wants to be happy. She was being a b*tch one day and I dumped her. Here's the thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=181174

Thank you, I really appreciate the advice and especially the invitation to hangout. It sounds like I could learn a lot from you and develop myself into the guy I want to be, not who I am now. I'd be happy to get a drink.

Dude.. Duuuuuuude! WTF????!

Please tell me you didn't pay for those pickup lines. They are hands down the worst I've ever read. "Do I look gay?" Seriously? *smacks forehead*

Some basic tips for you from someone who enjoys great success with online game:

Girls can tell when your response is canned. You should really have a look at their profiles because they are rife with information and clues to help you break the ice. See what her interests are and use THAT to introduce yourself. Comment on her personality, the things she likes, her overall vibe. Show some interest in who she is and not how great she will look bouncing on your c-ck.

Never, EVER and I mean f-cking NEVER comment on her looks. Trust me, these girls get that sh-t 24/7 and all it does is put you in the stalker/loser pile. She already knows you like what you see, if you didn't you wouldn't be writing her (duh!)

Also it helps to have a decent profile. I am almost scared to see what kind of info you put up. If you want a little coaching and are too embarrassed to post, PM me and I will give you some tips.

Make no mistake, you really do need all the help you can get. I feel like I need to talk to 10 normal people after reading your post.

I got the book for $12, no big deal. Awesome, you got online game! I'm the kind of a learner that gets it after watching others. If you have an example or e-mail exchange with a girl you've successfully closed, I would really like to see them. My profile is normal, bro. You guys make me sound like I'm the worst guy on the earth and like I'm crazy. I know my e-mail exchange doesn't help and it may make me seem like I'm a complete nut job, but I promise I'm not. I'm just desperate and going through withdrawal after my break-up.

I wasn't embarrassed to post here before, but I just got spanked with all these comments; I feel like sh*t and like a failure on top of being insecure as I already am. I can show you my profile. I'm really nowhere as bad as this post makes me seem. I'd really like to hear your tips in a PM, thank you

 

[cordoncordon]

I knew you were foreign haha. That makes so much sense to me.

Forget the books. Forget the video tapes. Forget the rehearsed lines. Forget the seminars. They are CRAP. Just guys using other guys desperate need to get laid to make money. I seriously laugh when I see or hear people using that stuff. Just pay attention to a few of the smarter guys on here. Guys with real life experience. Not book experience.

As for moving here to LA to be with your girl. Don't feel bad. I did the exact same thing 3 years ago. Moved here from MI to be with my gf at the time. We broke up, but I stayed. And let me tell you, I am glad I did. Weather is great. So much to do. And SO MANY hot babes here to fvck and date. I'm in a very happy LTR now, but when I was single, I used all that LA had to offer haha.

And yeah, hit me up when you get back, we can grab a beer.

 

[Borknagar]

You guys are too harsh on him. Dating sites? blah, women on those sites are like 10s at a club, attention *****s and nothing more.

 

[Speculator E]

Hey guys, I haven't been playing the field for awhile due to work, but I just started experimenting with online dating sites. I've sent a mass email to a couple of chicks. One of them replied back with this:

I TOO am a nerd. I hardly ever get messages on here and yesterday I got 6! You think everyone is having a bit of Cabin Fever? Hope you are enjoying the "snow days" and aren't freezing!

I'm gonna write a few things but want to end it with this comment: "Well I'm not freezing, but if I was, are you gonna keep me warm? "

I'm sure I know it's okay, but this chick is easily a HB9+ and I want to be smooth so I can hook and reel her in. What do you guys think?? Any improvement needed?

Any other good tips? Thanks. I haven't tried online dating before.

Sorry for the hijacking, I didn't want to create a new thread just to ask this. I think the OP got enough good advice already.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Hey guys, I haven't been playing the field for awhile due to work, but I just started experimenting with online dating sites. I've sent a mass email to a couple of chicks. One of them replied back with this:



I'm gonna write a few things but want to end it with this comment: "Well I'm not freezing, but if I was, are you gonna keep me warm? "

I'm sure I know it's okay, but this chick is easily a HB9+ and I want to be smooth so I can hook and reel her in. What do you guys think?? Any improvement needed?

Nooooo. This is not face-to-face dating. This is internet. If she met you at at a bar, she'd have a good 20-30 minutes to know that you're not a total pervert, pyscho, or loser. But on the internet you have to build comfort, THEN you can meet her, THEN you can build attraction.

There's nothing sexy about typing to someone on a computer. So stop trying to project sexiness via the internet. Just be fun. Be someone she'd picture herself having fun with.

I'd say, "I'm taking full advantage of the snow day. Went to the park, had an awesome snowball fight. Now I'm sitting here in a coffee shop, holding my mug for warmth. So what do you do for fun around here when you're not fighting off cabin fever?"

She'll write back telling you what she does for fun. Then you'll write back asking, "Have you been to X Bar? Their happy hour is amazing."

She'll say yes or no. And then you'll say, "Let's check it out some time. I could use a drink to help me forget about this cold weather."

It might take 2 or 3 back-and-forth emails, but whatever. You can't expect chicks to want to meet you or even flirt with you IMMEDIATELY. Start with good conversation. Flirt in person, not on the internet. The internet is FULL of dudes trying to talk smooth and flirt with girls. And it's not sexy. No chick is gonna say, "I wasn't going to meet you until you swept me off my feet with that sexy email". First be NORMAL. When you meet her you can try your corny pickup lines....But preferably dont.

 

[Speculator E]

Nooooo. This is not face-to-face dating. This is internet. If she met you at at a bar, she'd have a good 20-30 minutes to know that you're not a total pervert, pyscho, or loser. But on the internet you have to build comfort, THEN you can meet her, THEN you can build attraction....

...It might take 2 or 3 back-and-forth emails, but whatever. You can't expect chicks to want to meet you or even flirt with you IMMEDIATELY. Start with good conversation. Flirt in person, not on the internet. The internet is FULL of dudes trying to talk smooth and flirt with girls. And it's not sexy. No chick is gonna say, "I wasn't going to meet you until you swept me off my feet with that sexy email". First be NORMAL. When you meet her you can try your corny pickup lines....But preferably dont.

Make sense. Thanks, I'll just play it cool then.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Let me propose that when we see something like this OP come along, we try to understand that the guy is genuinely trying to figure things out and to calibrate, and he might be doing the best he can.

We can choose to drag him through the mud, or we can choose to correct him and guide him along in a way that will motivate him positively. Let's not shoot our own just because they're flailing around because of lack of knowledge or experience. It's high time we support each other and avoid looking to shoot down an easy target.

OP, I applaud you for having the guts to tell us how the interaction went and for looking for advice. You're always going to get those guys who are looking to boost their own egos, but it looks like you're smart enough to mine the gold and throw out the rest.

 

[Korrupt]

DO NOT send a second message to a girl if she hasn't responded to your first. If she's interested she WILL get back to you.

 

[Speculator E]

Okay, I've decided to reply with this message, but wanted to pass it through you guys first:

What she said:

I TOO am a nerd. I hardly ever get messages on here and yesterday I got 6! You think everyone is having a bit of Cabin Fever? Hope you are enjoying the "snow days" and aren't freezing!

My reply:

I find that hard to believe that no one is messaging you! But okay. I don't know about everyone and cabin fever, but yeah they probably are. Staying home all day is not fun. I was really hoping that we wouldn't get any snow this winter and it happened just when school is starting. I like my days to be warm and sunny and I'm happy. And no I'm not freezing, but thanks for caring. What are you doing to pass the time? I saw you like Nicholas Sparks, so I'm guessing you're a big romantic?

Good? Bad?

P.S. I saw she wants to be a lawyer but I'm not so sure that's a good idea considering the job market right now for lawyers, but I think it's best to leave out any criticism at this point.

 

[DJ Logic]

OP, you are gonna have to give me something to work with. Generic messages DO NOT WORK! Shoot me a link to your profile and then send me a few targets, THEN we can talk.

 

[blackwolf]

OP, you should like, stop replying bro. you are making yourself look like the dumbest fuk on here everytime you reply. you fuked up with that chick baaaad, move on

 

[Masculinity]

Okay, I've decided to reply with this message, but wanted to pass it through you guys first:

What she said:

I don't know why I'm answering the high-jacker, but here it goes:
My reply:

I find that hard to believe that no one is messaging you!
You put her on a pedestal by saying this; she could genuinely be getting nada
But okay.I don't know about everyone and cabin fever, but yeah they probably are. That sounds contradicting and weak, fix that.

Staying home all day is not fun. I was really hoping that we wouldn't get any snow this winter and it happened just when school is starting. I like my days to be warm and sunny and I'm happy. This is pretty good

And no I'm not freezing, but thanks for caring.
That just sounds weak; turn it around and make it playful; you sound boring. l What are you doing to pass the time? I saw you like Nicholas Sparks, so I'm guessing you're a big romantic?

Good? Bad?

P.S. I saw she wants to be a lawyer but I'm not so sure that's a good idea considering the job market right now for lawyers, but I think it's best to leave out any criticism at this point.

PS: Yes, this is the say guy that posted the original thread!

 

[Speculator E]

PS: Yes, this is the say guy that posted the original thread!

I guess I'll reply since no one is answering my question, jerks... .

I agree with you that the first sentence is kind of putting her on a pedestal. But I also put myself on a pedestal and I was just being honest. My goal is just to try to sound casual like a previous poster suggested. And it's how I would talk in real life. I'm just responding to what she wrote. And I can't believe I'm spending a lot of time analyzing this. But oh well.

I suppose one thing I would change is this like you suggested:

And no I'm not freezing, but thanks for caring.

to

And no I'm not freezing, I would burn all my old textbooks and homework assignments before that happens. But thanks for caring. So, what are you doing to pass the time?.....

and

But okay.I don't know about everyone and cabin fever, but yeah they probably are.

to

I don't know about everyone and cabin fever, but I know I am. Staying home all day isn't fun...

And P.S. OP, what I've found is you need to have a good profile and and a good picture. And the best way to get that is to get a good life going on and a good personality and THEN promote it in your profile. I would also browse a few profile to get an idea of what's good and bad. For a picture, go to hotornot and get some rated. I started an account recently and the first pic I put up had me in casual clothes and I was getting 6-7. Then I changed it and put on a black shirt and now my rating is around 9.5. I don't know if I deserve that but having a good picture can go a long way. Just some small tips.

BTW, how long do you usually take to reply. Is there a rule to this in the online world? Like within 1-2 days and never within 2-3 hours?

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

I guess I'll reply since no one is answering my question, jerks... .

Sorry. I saw your post and just figured I'd leave you alone about it. But since you want to talk, I thought it sounded boring.

Stuff like:
"But okay.I don't know about everyone and cabin fever, but yeah they probably are."

That sounds like awkward coffee talk with one of the 50 year old accountants at my job.

But this is kind of funny/charming: "And no I'm not freezing, I would burn all my old textbooks and homework assignments before that happens. Because I've been dreaming about doing that for a long time. lol. So, what are you doing to pass the time?....."

...I wish you would have used that. But whatever. You live, you learn.


But again, my goal wasn't to guide you through every step of a conversation. You speak how you speak and I speak how I speak. I just wanted to lay the foundation for you, which was...don't be too sexual or flirty over the internet, because it comes off as creepy.

It's a delicate balance. Because how can I tell you to tone down your flirting, and then criticize you for being too boring? I also have an unfair advantage because I'm a professional writer. Anyway, you'll figure it out. Just work on the foundation of being the kind of guy these girls would want to have a beer and talk with. They'll meet you once they realize you're not a creep. Once you're in person, you can work your charm.

 

[Speculator E]

But this is kind of funny/charming: "And no I'm not freezing, I would burn all my old textbooks and homework assignments before that happens. Because I've been dreaming about doing that for a long time. lol. So, what are you doing to pass the time?....."

...I wish you would have used that. But whatever. You live, you learn.

I haven't reply back yet. So you're saying that's good? Even the part about:

Because I've been dreaming about doing that for a long time.

I wasn't sure if that is too cheesy or not.

Anyways, I think this is the reply I'll send:

I find that hard to believe that no one is messaging you! I don't know about everyone and cabin fever, but I know that I am. Staying home all day is not fun and I was really hoping that we wouldn't get any snow this winter either. I like my days to be warm and sunny and I'm happy. And no I'm not freezing, I would burn all my old textbooks and homework assignments before that happens. I've been dreaming about doing that for a long time. lol. But thanks for caring. So, what are you doing to pass the time? I saw you like Nicholas Sparks, so I'm guessing you're a big romantic?

Thanks, MT.

 

[betterthandead]

Online dating = Waste of time.

 

[Masculinity]

I guess I'll reply since no one is answering my question, jerks... .

I agree with you that the first sentence is kind of putting her on a pedestal.But I also put myself on a pedestal and I was just being honest. My goal is just to try to sound casual like a previous poster suggested. And it's how I would talk in real life. I'm just responding to what she wrote. And I can't believe I'm spending a lot of time analyzing this. But oh well.

It does put her on a pedestal, but if you wanna give it a shot, go ahead, whatever floats your boat. Reality is at some point you're gonna say something that isn't the most fun thing around. You can't come to us and have us proof-read all your messages. Keep your cool and just sound fun and laid back.

I suppose one thing I would change is this like you suggested:

And no I'm not freezing, but thanks for caring.

to

And no I'm not freezing, I would burn all my old textbooks and homework assignments before that happens. But thanks for caring. So, what are you doing to pass the time?.....

That actually sounds pretty good. I'd get rid of the " thanks for caring" part, but up to you, bro.

and

But okay.I don't know about everyone and cabin fever, but yeah they probably are.

to

I don't know about everyone and cabin fever, but I know I am. Staying home all day isn't fun...

This is confusing; if you know you're staying home, why are you saying staying in isn't fun? that means you aren't fun either.



And P.S. OP, what I've found is you need to have a good profile and and a good picture. And the best way to get that is to get a good life going on and a good personality and THEN promote it in your profile. I would also browse a few profile to get an idea of what's good and bad. For a picture, go to hotornot and get some rated. I started an account recently and the first pic I put up had me in casual clothes and I was getting 6-7. Then I changed it and put on a black shirt and now my rating is around 9.5. I don't know if I deserve that but having a good picture can go a long way. Just some small tips.

BTW, how long do you usually take to reply. Is there a rule to this in the online world? Like within 1-2 days and never within 2-3 hours?

I had a profile on HotorNot and it was just a waste of time. I do use it to pick out my pictures though, but not to meet girls. About replaying: I usually wait a day to reply. These attractive girls are already getting bombarded with messages; if she likes you, she will pick you out of her options so don't worry about some dude throwing himself at her and win the battle before you get there.

 

[tryst type]

The key to getting a girl's interest online whether it's a dating site or something free and not meant for dating like Facebook is to be REAL.

Drop the ****y/funny/pua techniques. Text has NO emotion attached to it, you can't get away with 90% of it unless the person has met you in person a few times first, that doubles your chances of coming off the right way.

The key is to say something funny/playful/teasing yet NON-THREATENING to grab her attention and stop, become real, seem interested/curious in something about her taken from her profile. Have a few good conversations where she finds herself enjoying chatting with a guy who's not blatantly trying to get into her cyber pants!

Once you feel the conversation has peaked to the highest point, you end it saying something along the lines of "hey it's been fun, but i'm not into this whole online messaging back and forth" then ask to exchange numbers. She mostly likely at THAT point be willing to.

 

[Masculinity]

I knew you were foreign haha. That makes so much sense to me.

What makes sense? Hah, would have been able to tell if it weren't for my writing?

Forget the books. Forget the video tapes. Forget the rehearsed lines. Forget the seminars. They are CRAP. Just guys using other guys desperate need to get laid to make money. I seriously laugh when I see or hear people using that stuff. Just pay attention to a few of the smarter guys on here. Guys with real life experience. Not book experience.

When I first started, these programs helped me like crazy. I was beyond hope when I was 16-17, but I want to take the next step, now. There's some really smart and wise guys here, true. I also started reading The Book of Pook yesterday--what do you think?

As for moving here to LA to be with your girl. Don't feel bad. I did the exact same thing 3 years ago. Moved here from MI to be with my gf at the time. We broke up, but I stayed. And let me tell you, I am glad I did. Weather is great. So much to do. And SO MANY hot babes here to fvck and date. I'm in a very happy LTR now, but when I was single, I used all that LA had to offer haha.

I didn't move to LA to be with her; I moved here to attend college. She saw my goals are more important to me and she didn't like it. She was considering moving to CA to be with me, but she couldn't handle it. When we broke up, she said she'd find me in 18 months and if I'm single she'd get back with me--no comment on that.

There is a looot of attractive girls in LA; I couldn't freaking believe it when I first moved. This fact is really helping me get over my ex. Now, I need to learn how to talk, get and hangout with these babes

That's awesome! When you develop yourself to your best, you develop higher standards; hence, when you get in a relationship, you find a girl who is more compatible with you and not to mention attractive.

And yeah, hit me up when you get back, we can grab a beer.

Looking forward to it! I'll get in touch with you in a week or two