I notice this girl is doing NIC on me

[scoopshank]

I have been talking to a chick recently, we talk each night but I have noticed she is NIC until I mesaage her, then we talk a few hours, she text like crazy during this time ignoring NIC until the conversation is over. I skip a day every so often to see if she will reply but get nothing. We are both into eachother, however if she is NIC I feel she has too much control.

Advice?

 

[Yorkex]

Drop off the earth , don't message her for a week. If she doesn't reach out ...move on.

Honestly stop wasting time on child's play. If a person WANTS you , they won't make it hard for you to talk to them.

 

[nismo-4]

Not interested, move on.

Case closed.

 

[GS750]

she pulls back 10 feet, you pull back a mile. low interest and likely just enjoying the attention/ego boost. go ghost. the person who cares least has the power, in this case that is her.

 

[LMFAO]

I really don't get this, why are you talking to her on the phone and texting her and not going out with her?

Ask her out. Yes means yes, no means no.

End of the fcking story.

 

[Peña]

She is AW

 

[Yewki]

I feel she has too much control.

Why are you chasing someone? Stop being desperate. Stop initiating contact. If she never contacts you again, congratulations... you just saved a lot of time.

 

[scoopshank]

Wow are you guys really so lame that your only advice is give up and move on?! I've been speaking to this girl for only 2 weeks and have went on 2 dates, I'm going to go NIC 75% starting off with next contact (being from her).

I met her online so it's not like we just talk in person and then not talk until next time, that's a stupid way to have them loose interest. I'll report back how things go over the next few days.

As always, I'll be going for other girls as well

 

[El Payaso]

What the fvck is "NIC"?

 

[_sideways_]

Not Interested in Chodes...NIC

 

[GS750]

NIC is No Initiated Contact. Meaning if she contacts you, then you reply at your leisure. But you NEVER contact her first. AKA "ghost".

 

[IBreatheSpears]

Whenever you sense decreasing interest, do what I just did with the girl I was seeing and blow the bridge.

Pre-emptively breaking things off is the dominant strategy because she either has to explicitly accept it, or instantly lose any power she has in the relationship by asking you to stay with her. (Note: this can be a ploy to make you an orbiter; your next move should be overtly and undeniably sexual -- if she rejects that, she's trying to LJBF you.) Either way, you win. Officially losing her might not feel like a victory but if that's what happens then you had lost her already. The only difference is that you know about it now.

The pre-emptive breakup is most effective when it's completely out of left field -- I weakened my position somewhat because I wanted to give her a chance) but I think it still had some shock value because she made a pretty transparent attempt to appear unphased. Now I go NIC.

Anyway, my advice to you is to casually (do NOT sound butthurt) tell her you don't want to see her or talk to her any more and see what happens.

 

[Yewki]

I met her online so it's not like we just talk in person and then not talk until next time, that's a stupid way to have them loose interest. I'll report back how things go over the next few days.

Whether or not you met online, once you've obtained the number keep the messaging to a minimum. Do not initiate with non essential messages: anything outside of attempting to schedule a meetup is non essential. If she initiates with generic crap, take excessive time to respond. And when you do, do not respond with generic crap yourself.

For example, don't do this,

Her: hey how's your day?
~20 min later
You: not much how are you?

Instead,

Hey: hey how's your day?
hours later (in the meantime she may have texted more crap)
You: you don't want to know, trust me
Her: what?
~5 min later
You: it involves midgets and farm animals
Her: omg blah blah blah

Don't prolong this back and forth. Pull back. Stop responding unless she changes the subject or directly asks another question. Hopefully her hampster will have done some work and she will get the idea that you're not too keen on discussing mundane crap. Ideally she will think this is because you have more important things to do. If she asks why you take so long to respond, say you're busy. If she keeps prying say you're not a big phone person and like talking face to face. It's a good idea to vary the delay when you respond to stupid crap too, otherwise she'll be more likely to suspect you're playing with her. Sometimes responding quickly is fine, just mix it up.

And if she never initiates anything with you, she's probably low interest but whatever the case may be man the f*ck up and only initiate to meetup. For example if you got her number, exchanged some back and forths, and she hasn't initiated anything with you for 4-5 days... that's fine, just text her to meet up at some point,

You: Hey crazy cat lady (or some other reference to something you talked about before)
Her: Hi
You: Care to join me for a drink this Tuesday
Her: I don't know I'm kinda busy
You: Well at some point we need to talk and sort out your cat issues
Her: Well I can't do this Tuesday

You stop responding at this point. You can live without her, right? If she's interested she'll follow up. Maybe message her again in a week and try one more time. Initiating messages with her about stupid crap would have only lowered her interest more. Not every girl will like you. Accept that, and live your life.

 

[scoopshank]

Last 2 responses seem legit. She messaged me yesterday and we started to talk, each about 10-30 mins between responses. Was just genuinely busy, probably her too. It ended with me asking a question. She explained she was cooking, hour later I asked what she made. Haven't heard back yet.

I will apply some of the strategies suggested and create a distance, so to speak. And focus more on the meet ups.

 

[El Payaso]

Last 2 responses seem legit. She messaged me yesterday and we started to talk, each about 10-30 mins between responses. Was just genuinely busy, probably her too. It ended with me asking a question. She explained she was cooking, hour later I asked what she made. Haven't heard back yet.

I will apply some of the strategies suggested and create a distance, so to speak. And focus more on the meet ups.

This one is DOA because you keep texting her like a little girl. WTF are you asking her what she cooked.

 

[Yewki]

She explained she was cooking, hour later I asked what she made. Haven't heard back yet.

Yeah by asking what she was cooking you doused her interest. You just met this girl. Texting about mundane crap suggests you're desperate without much going on. You shouldn't care about that stuff.

You're probably thinking right now something like "Crap, I messed up!" ... in which case, you're falling back into your old habit again. Why do you care? It's only a mistake if you care.

If she never texts you back ever again, are you ok with that? You should be. Why do you require the validation of this girl? Think about how insecure that is.

 

[scoopshank]

This one is DOA because you keep texting her like a little girl. WTF are you asking her what she cooked.

I met this girl online, have done it a bunch. If you only talk to them 1 time a week to go meet up, it doesn't create any personal connection or build up for the meet. The few times I tried this it was a complete fail. Here's how your method works for online girls that you know nothing about and try to meet...


Me: Hey Name! Was wondering, you doing anything tonight?
Them:

This is not some girl I've know and have transitioned to dating, nor a girl I picked up at a bar. A lot of you guys don't seem to notice there is a huge difference with how to handle each.

 

[Yewki]

I met this girl online, have done it a bunch. If you only talk to them 1 time a week to go meet up, it doesn't create any personal connection or build up for the meet.

The personal connection is built while getting her number, and then during the subsequent face-to-face date you set up right after words.

In terms of online dating I'll break it down very specifically,
1. Message a girl online
2. She responds, indicating she's at least mildy interested
3. You go back and forth a bit in a teasing/playful manner but quickly go for the number
4. You get the number and you do not act like a needy desperate clinger but instead go to set up a time to meet
5. You meet her.
6. She's now either really interested in you, or not. Trying to build upon whatever connection there is at this point by having text conversations generally just serves to lower her interest level. It's like talking to the police without a lawyer... there's no reason to do it, you will only f*ck yourself. Do most everything face to face.

That's it.

 

[GS750]

Yeah, too much talking/texting before the first meetup will fvck you up. I learned that one. You will likely say something that will turn her off and you're blown out of the water. Save the convo for in person.

 

[scoopshank]

The personal connection is built while getting her number, and then during the subsequent face-to-face date you set up right after words.

In terms of online dating I'll break it down very specifically,
1. Message a girl online
2. She responds, indicating she's at least mildy interested
3. You go back and forth a bit in a teasing/playful manner but quickly go for the number
4. You get the number and you do not act like a needy desperate clinger but instead go to set up a time to meet
5. You meet her.
6. She's now either really interested in you, or not. Trying to build upon whatever connection there is at this point by having text conversations generally just serves to lower her interest level. It's like talking to the police without a lawyer... there's no reason to do it, you will only f*ck yourself. Do most everything face to face.

That's it.

This makes sense, I will incorporate it.