Synthesize
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2004
- Messages
- 33
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This is the first time I've asked for advice on this board. Here's the deal.
Most of the girls in my Astronomy class had something for me over the semester. Most of them I ignored, but I focused on one (let's call her K).
I couldn't make good conversation with her. She was pretty aloof. No chemistry, at least two flakes. Whatever. But she still tries to get me to go to shows with her (she's some emo girl, i'm a rocker guy type).
Another one, I ignored ( let's call her J). I wasn't interested in her. She made me nervous by constantly touching and flirting with me. She was too forward. The last girl I had dated was that forward. It creeped me out. She was a HB8, but **** it. Not worth my time.
Fast forward a few weeks, about the middle of the semester. She (J, and the rest of the post will be about her also) kept trying to get to study with me. Bear in mind that I'm completely neurotic. I kept blowing her off because I thought she was trying to use me to get a better grade. She invited me to a play. I went and there was poor chemistry. I was shy.
She made some more advances. I kept aloof. I seriously have some trust issues.
I invited her to a party. I seemed kinda desperate. I didn't like her, but I wanted some action. I invited her to study a second time. Flaked on me.
I started being a total **** to her again, started telling her to shut up when she told me I was cute, started making friends with her best friend. Sexual vibes between me and her friend, but she had a boyfriend. Her friend told me she cheated on all her past boyfriends but she was in love with her current one. ******** for "don't make a move, buster." She also has a thing for me, but she's caught up on her boyfriend, and she's too good of a friend to make a move on. But I think she's way hot.
But I digress. Fast forward to end of semester. I get together a study group. I have everyone's phone number in the class. I was networking everything. I was going to class 50% of the time and getting an A when everyone else was struggling. Everyone sees me as the smart guy who always talks to everyone.
HB8 shows up to the group late, and I'm the only one there working on Ethics. We start talking. Decent chemistry. We hung out for over two hours talking. But I continue being a ****, calling her stupid, just being a ****ing *******. I didn't really like her, but I was attracted. I didn't want her getting anywhere close to me. I told her everything I thought negatively about her. She told me everything she had thought negatively about me. We are totally blunt. I told her I had changed her mind about her, then I cracked a joke that she still had a lot to prove, but in a funny way. She looks offended. I tell her to hug me. She does. I tell her to get the **** out. Haha.
Over the next few days, we hang out about 20 hours total. We study together. We get in fights. I tell her she's a pain in the ass and throw her books out of her hand when she tells me to get to studying and stop checking out girls. She grabs my phone and throws it. We make a scene in the study room, both acting angry but having grins on our faces. I tell people she's on her period. She calls me an *******. We sit back down and act pissed a bit more.
Okay, so here's where things **** up a little. I'm hyped on amphetamine, feeling like ****. She's doing the same and talking entirely too much. I tell her to shut the **** up and be quiet. I tell her to hold me, because "I'm feeling emo." We get into a conversation about love and relationships. We let each other know we're not looking for anything. I let her know how I sabotage things with girls because I don't want to get close.
I **** up with my body language and start telling her how when I start liking someone, I try to think up all the bad things about them. I think she caught on that I liked her. I hope not. Bear in mind I was on drugs and not thinking clearly.
I keep asking her to hold me. She does. We do a lot of kino.
I start being more nice.
She gets me coffee. I ask her if she used my money to buy her coffee, again being paranoid. She says no. I don't trust anyone.
Throughout this whole time, there was a ton of chemistry and a ton of flirting. Even her saying "I just want to **** you" in a joking way. Also her saying she'll suck my ****, in a joking way. And "I'm magnetically attracted to you." I blush, and she laughs. Lots of stuff. Me being a ****. Having fun. Telling her she's wrong about stuff. Being weird and quirky. Us both being insecure.
Fast forward to party on Saturday night post-finals. She is working late and isn't there yet. Her best friend Reese says she "talks about me." I don't inquire further. I give a disinterested "cool." I regret not inquiring further. I was drunk. I've only known this girl really for a week, and she's already talking about me to her friends? I like her also.
She comes and hugs me when she gets to the party. I was feeling spooked. I had started feeling a lot for this girl. I am quiet, but when I hug her I spin her around. I go back to the keg. I'm quite drunk at this point. She talks to her friend. I slam the door, not because I'm mad but because I'm drunk. Perhaps it's because I'm mad that I like her but am frozen from doing anything because I like her. When I like people and they like me, I can't be real with them. I can't be myself. I lock up. I'm very afraid of getting close.
She comes in and asks me why I slammed the door. I tell her it was because I was drunk. She closes it again.
She leaves while I talk to other people and forget about her. I'm too drunk to have any kind of attention span. I get out and I ask where she is. They say she left. I roll my eyes.
On Monday, I call her to see if she's going to the Isis show. She calls back about 1 hour before Isis comes on, during the show, and she says she is just getting back from San Antonio and can't make it. I act like I don't care and will be happy seeing Isis anyway, and I get off the phone immediately without talking anymore to her.
I have fun and meet a lot of people at the show. My connections are just teeming. Things have never been going better at this point. My band is starting up, I'm meeting a bunch of metal people who know their ****, girls are flowing.
But I have a problem. I won't be seeing this girl for a month. I have fallen for her. One-itis. I have a lot of other girls. I will be getting play within the next week. I will continue playing the fields. She is off ****ing some guy in New Jersey. I don't actually care at all, because I'll be ****ing some girls in Texas. She's a player. I'm a player.
I still want her. I'm just so scared of anything meaningful. I don't know whether to call her. I don't want her to have any power. I need to be in control. I don't want to end up supplicating. I really want to call her to get her to come to my hometown and hang with me. I'm not sure she will. If she won't, I feel like I will have lost power.
I'll be seeing her a lot when the semester starts up again after the break. We both hit up the same music venue. I don't want the chemistry to be dead between us though since we're going to have a month break. I don't know if it will be. If I don't call her to hang out, I won't be talking to her.
I am having a hard time making the transition from ******* to guy who wants to be with her. I don't want to lose her by liking her. Lots of guys like her. How do I distinguish myself? This is such a hard time for me.
Advice please. Do I wait it out and be certain that I won't **** anything up but risk having the chemistry die? Maybe the chemistry won't die. Or should I call her immediately and take the risk of rejection? Help.
Most of the girls in my Astronomy class had something for me over the semester. Most of them I ignored, but I focused on one (let's call her K).
I couldn't make good conversation with her. She was pretty aloof. No chemistry, at least two flakes. Whatever. But she still tries to get me to go to shows with her (she's some emo girl, i'm a rocker guy type).
Another one, I ignored ( let's call her J). I wasn't interested in her. She made me nervous by constantly touching and flirting with me. She was too forward. The last girl I had dated was that forward. It creeped me out. She was a HB8, but **** it. Not worth my time.
Fast forward a few weeks, about the middle of the semester. She (J, and the rest of the post will be about her also) kept trying to get to study with me. Bear in mind that I'm completely neurotic. I kept blowing her off because I thought she was trying to use me to get a better grade. She invited me to a play. I went and there was poor chemistry. I was shy.
She made some more advances. I kept aloof. I seriously have some trust issues.
I invited her to a party. I seemed kinda desperate. I didn't like her, but I wanted some action. I invited her to study a second time. Flaked on me.
I started being a total **** to her again, started telling her to shut up when she told me I was cute, started making friends with her best friend. Sexual vibes between me and her friend, but she had a boyfriend. Her friend told me she cheated on all her past boyfriends but she was in love with her current one. ******** for "don't make a move, buster." She also has a thing for me, but she's caught up on her boyfriend, and she's too good of a friend to make a move on. But I think she's way hot.
But I digress. Fast forward to end of semester. I get together a study group. I have everyone's phone number in the class. I was networking everything. I was going to class 50% of the time and getting an A when everyone else was struggling. Everyone sees me as the smart guy who always talks to everyone.
HB8 shows up to the group late, and I'm the only one there working on Ethics. We start talking. Decent chemistry. We hung out for over two hours talking. But I continue being a ****, calling her stupid, just being a ****ing *******. I didn't really like her, but I was attracted. I didn't want her getting anywhere close to me. I told her everything I thought negatively about her. She told me everything she had thought negatively about me. We are totally blunt. I told her I had changed her mind about her, then I cracked a joke that she still had a lot to prove, but in a funny way. She looks offended. I tell her to hug me. She does. I tell her to get the **** out. Haha.
Over the next few days, we hang out about 20 hours total. We study together. We get in fights. I tell her she's a pain in the ass and throw her books out of her hand when she tells me to get to studying and stop checking out girls. She grabs my phone and throws it. We make a scene in the study room, both acting angry but having grins on our faces. I tell people she's on her period. She calls me an *******. We sit back down and act pissed a bit more.
Okay, so here's where things **** up a little. I'm hyped on amphetamine, feeling like ****. She's doing the same and talking entirely too much. I tell her to shut the **** up and be quiet. I tell her to hold me, because "I'm feeling emo." We get into a conversation about love and relationships. We let each other know we're not looking for anything. I let her know how I sabotage things with girls because I don't want to get close.
I **** up with my body language and start telling her how when I start liking someone, I try to think up all the bad things about them. I think she caught on that I liked her. I hope not. Bear in mind I was on drugs and not thinking clearly.
I keep asking her to hold me. She does. We do a lot of kino.
I start being more nice.
She gets me coffee. I ask her if she used my money to buy her coffee, again being paranoid. She says no. I don't trust anyone.
Throughout this whole time, there was a ton of chemistry and a ton of flirting. Even her saying "I just want to **** you" in a joking way. Also her saying she'll suck my ****, in a joking way. And "I'm magnetically attracted to you." I blush, and she laughs. Lots of stuff. Me being a ****. Having fun. Telling her she's wrong about stuff. Being weird and quirky. Us both being insecure.
Fast forward to party on Saturday night post-finals. She is working late and isn't there yet. Her best friend Reese says she "talks about me." I don't inquire further. I give a disinterested "cool." I regret not inquiring further. I was drunk. I've only known this girl really for a week, and she's already talking about me to her friends? I like her also.
She comes and hugs me when she gets to the party. I was feeling spooked. I had started feeling a lot for this girl. I am quiet, but when I hug her I spin her around. I go back to the keg. I'm quite drunk at this point. She talks to her friend. I slam the door, not because I'm mad but because I'm drunk. Perhaps it's because I'm mad that I like her but am frozen from doing anything because I like her. When I like people and they like me, I can't be real with them. I can't be myself. I lock up. I'm very afraid of getting close.
She comes in and asks me why I slammed the door. I tell her it was because I was drunk. She closes it again.
She leaves while I talk to other people and forget about her. I'm too drunk to have any kind of attention span. I get out and I ask where she is. They say she left. I roll my eyes.
On Monday, I call her to see if she's going to the Isis show. She calls back about 1 hour before Isis comes on, during the show, and she says she is just getting back from San Antonio and can't make it. I act like I don't care and will be happy seeing Isis anyway, and I get off the phone immediately without talking anymore to her.
I have fun and meet a lot of people at the show. My connections are just teeming. Things have never been going better at this point. My band is starting up, I'm meeting a bunch of metal people who know their ****, girls are flowing.
But I have a problem. I won't be seeing this girl for a month. I have fallen for her. One-itis. I have a lot of other girls. I will be getting play within the next week. I will continue playing the fields. She is off ****ing some guy in New Jersey. I don't actually care at all, because I'll be ****ing some girls in Texas. She's a player. I'm a player.
I still want her. I'm just so scared of anything meaningful. I don't know whether to call her. I don't want her to have any power. I need to be in control. I don't want to end up supplicating. I really want to call her to get her to come to my hometown and hang with me. I'm not sure she will. If she won't, I feel like I will have lost power.
I'll be seeing her a lot when the semester starts up again after the break. We both hit up the same music venue. I don't want the chemistry to be dead between us though since we're going to have a month break. I don't know if it will be. If I don't call her to hang out, I won't be talking to her.
I am having a hard time making the transition from ******* to guy who wants to be with her. I don't want to lose her by liking her. Lots of guys like her. How do I distinguish myself? This is such a hard time for me.
Advice please. Do I wait it out and be certain that I won't **** anything up but risk having the chemistry die? Maybe the chemistry won't die. Or should I call her immediately and take the risk of rejection? Help.
