I never felt so frustrated in a long time

[Konada]

So about a few weeks ago a girl in my psychology class caught my eye and somehow she is the first one that made me go 'I must approach her'. Problem is, we are assigned seats and she sits at the opposite end of the class and I never get the chance to approach her after class or during our break. Certainly I don't want to be that creepy fvcker that is chasing her after she leaves.

Our mutual friend told me she works at xxx before class so I thought it be my best chance to put myself out there while not coming on too strong. I drop by her workplace and lo and behold she isn't there. I'm pretty confident if I can at least get a proper chat in with her I can get my answer fast enough.

I'm pretty torn inside right now because I sure as hell know I will regret it if I don't approach her to gauge is my interest warranted, while keeping in mind that I also don't want to be that creepy fvcker who is making it super obvious by chasing her down after class or during break. A part of me is saying I could've done more and seal the deal while another part of me is telling myself to be patient and play it cool. Am I overthinking this?

 

[marmel75]

The first thing you need to realize is it's never creepy if she likes you, she will consider it "cute".

Women only find things creepy that guys they are not attracted to do. Stop thinking and do whatever you want to do.

 

[Yewki]

Am I overthinking this?

First and foremost, stop pedestalizing her. She's just another person.

As to your question, yes you're obviously overthinking this. All you have to do is keep an eye out for a good opportunity to make small talk take it. Don't force it and make it into a big deal, she'll pick up on this.

 

[gravityeyelids]

Yes, you're overthinking this. Class game is tricky because you're going to be seeing the same people repeatedly like two-three times a week for like half a year. Plus you're on a campus where many people know each other and are connected. So in many ways, it's social circle game and things like direct approaches and powering through resistance might not always be the best bet. You don't want to be known as the guy who goes around cold approaching and trying to get every girl's number. Waaaay too many guys get to college and come off as try-hards. RELAX. Be cool like the fonz, go about your day in a confident, collected manor, have a good time and girls will follow.

Assigned seating also makes this tricky.
What you could do is convey value. Become friends with the most interesting, attractive, cool people in the class. Be seen as a leader in that small environment. Take a more indirect route, and more importantly, start talking to other girls. Guys tend to overcomplicate college game. In many cases, you just have to be friendly and fun and social and stop worrying about giving the perfect line or being smooth. College girls are there to have fun and get with guys, same as you are. Become "friends" with her. Make it so that you two encounter each other at an event where there is alcohol, and then go from there.

Oh. Stop wearing graphic tees and cargo pants and sneakers. Go to the malefashionadvice subreddit and change up your wardrobe. You will stand out from the crowd if you start to dress like you're 25 rather than like you're 17. Solid tees, dark jeans, tan/olive/navy chinos, button up shirts, brown leather shoes.

 

[stevo]

Have the mutual friend make the introduction.

 

[Konada]

Yes, you're overthinking this. Class game is tricky because you're going to be seeing the same people repeatedly like two-three times a week for like half a year. Plus you're on a campus where many people know each other and are connected. So in many ways, it's social circle game and things like direct approaches and powering through resistance might not always be the best bet. You don't want to be known as the guy who goes around cold approaching and trying to get every girl's number. Waaaay too many guys get to college and come off as try-hards. RELAX. Be cool like the fonz, go about your day in a confident, collected manor, have a good time and girls will follow.

Assigned seating also makes this tricky.
What you could do is convey value. Become friends with the most interesting, attractive, cool people in the class. Be seen as a leader in that small environment. Take a more indirect route, and more importantly, start talking to other girls. Guys tend to overcomplicate college game. In many cases, you just have to be friendly and fun and social and stop worrying about giving the perfect line or being smooth. College girls are there to have fun and get with guys, same as you are. Become "friends" with her. Make it so that you two encounter each other at an event where there is alcohol, and then go from there.

Oh. Stop wearing graphic tees and cargo pants and sneakers. Go to the malefashionadvice subreddit and change up your wardrobe. You will stand out from the crowd if you start to dress like you're 25 rather than like you're 17. Solid tees, dark jeans, tan/olive/navy chinos, button up shirts, brown leather shoes.

Pretty much got all of those down. My main issue is creating opportunities to strike up a conversation with her. It's just that she's never in my vicinity for me to pull the trigger. I feel that if I don't strike soon, I will live in regret if she ever gets with another guy simply because I didn't try. Its quite a feeling when my gut is torn into 2, striking fast or laying in patience until the opportunity presents itself (which might never happen).

 

[Tamura]

OneItis before first contact?

 

[l__i__l]

You need to stop worrying and thinking, just go get what you want with confidence.
Get there before her and sit in her seat. There's your opportunity.

 

[Konada]

Well gentlemen I never thought I would revisit chump101's lesson "Rejection is better than regret." I almost forgot how painful it feels to know something was potentially yours but too much of a pvssy to take it. I saw her with another guy today and it dawned upon me I made this fatal error again.

Looking back, I had many opportunities with this chick told myself "It isn't a good time to" to strike up a conversation. The pain is not in the oneitis but the lack of action and it fvcking hurts because I know I am better than this and all the while I've been believing my own bullsh!t. So yes, the truth to be told, I fvcked up bad, no excuses.

For the sake of feeling better and making sure I don't live with this regret, I'm gonna still chat her up when I see the opportunity to do so. Let this be a lesson to all newbies, regret fvcking hurts, it hurts more than rejection and even admitting to yourself that you fvcked up with all the bullsh!t excuses you have been giving to yourself of why you shouldn't take action.

 

[Tictac]

So about a few weeks ago a girl in my psychology class caught my eye and somehow she is the first one that made me go 'I must approach her'. Problem is, we are assigned seats and she sits at the opposite end of the class and I never get the chance to approach her after class or during our break. Certainly I don't want to be that creepy fvcker that is chasing her after she leaves.

Our mutual friend told me she works at xxx before class so I thought it be my best chance to put myself out there while not coming on too strong. I drop by her workplace and lo and behold she isn't there. I'm pretty confident if I can at least get a proper chat in with her I can get my answer fast enough.

I'm pretty torn inside right now because I sure as hell know I will regret it if I don't approach her to gauge is my interest warranted, while keeping in mind that I also don't want to be that creepy fvcker who is making it super obvious by chasing her down after class or during break. A part of me is saying I could've done more and seal the deal while another part of me is telling myself to be patient and play it cool. Am I overthinking this?

She is a simple human being just like you. She is not a goddess from another world with the power to suck out your soul or strike you dead. That is all you need to know.

 

[Glumix]

Well gentlemen I never thought I would revisit chump101's lesson "Rejection is better than regret." I almost forgot how painful it feels to know something was potentially yours but too much of a pvssy to take it. I saw her with another guy today and it dawned upon me I made this fatal error again.

Looking back, I had many opportunities with this chick told myself "It isn't a good time to" to strike up a conversation. The pain is not in the oneitis but the lack of action and it fvcking hurts because I know I am better than this and all the while I've been believing my own bullsh!t. So yes, the truth to be told, I fvcked up bad, no excuses.

Great man, you are one step closer from greatness! Continue the good work!
Sometimes, we suffer, it's ok, we can still love ourselves.

 

[Yewki]

regret fvcking hurts, it hurts more than rejection and even admitting to yourself that you fvcked up with all the bullsh!t excuses you have been giving to yourself of why you shouldn't take action.

Bro you're right to realize your mistake of inaction... but you're still on the wrong track here.

Why are you so regretful? This is just a random person. A girl you don't know. A girl that is not special. A girl you don't need to be happy. A girl who is totally replaceable. Again I ask, why is this such a big deal? Why are you so regretful?

You take this stuff too seriously. Big deal, maybe she's taken now. If you're at the grocery store and someone takes the apple you were eyeing from the large pile, do you really give a sh*t? Walk it off.

 

[Konada]

How is it not a big deal with the past 23 years of your life has been filled with nothing but failure in this regard?
The deal is not the girl, rather I'm just very very frustrated with myself being scared sh!tless pull the trigger when it matters.

As a matter of fact, the only women I'm attracting are either 1. Attached or 2. Not attractive to me, and it is fvcking pissing me off.

 

[Tictac]

How is it not a big deal with the past 22 years of your life has been filled with nothing but failure in this regard?
The deal is not the girl, rather I'm just very very frustrated with myself not being able to pull the trigger when it matters.

As a matter of fact, the only women I'm attracting are either 1. Attached or 2. Not attractive to me, and it is fvcking pissing me off.

I mentioned this earlier on another thread. Gets Corey Wayne's book. Read it a few times. Don't read everything, everywhere, all the time. Just read "How to become a 3% man". Then if you need other insights, look elsewhere.

You are 22. Almost everyone ever screws up with women in the early going. And, not for nothing, you have not been attempting relationships with women for 22 years.

 

[Yewki]

The deal is not the girl, rather I'm just very very frustrated with myself being scared sh!tless pull the trigger when it matters.

You say that, but you're expressing a lot of regret for one girl in particular. Your frustration here is triggered from one girl. You're outcome dependent with one girl.

Yeah, it's a big deal you lack the initiative and mindset to talk to people you want.

But no, it's not a big deal you lost out on any one girl. None of them are special.

Don't you see the reason you have difficulty talking to girls is because you pedestalize them?

 

[Vivacity]

How is it not a big deal with the past 23 years of your life has been filled with nothing but failure in this regard?
The deal is not the girl, rather I'm just very very frustrated with myself being scared sh!tless pull the trigger when it matters.

As a matter of fact, the only women I'm attracting are either 1. Attached or 2. Not attractive to me, and it is fvcking pissing me off.

You are either unattractive or not trying to look your best. If you are unattractive, lower your standards. Leagues do exist; so, try within your league. You can try for girls out of your league, but don't take it to your heart when you are rejected.

Be the best version of yourself. That's all you can do.

You know that you are scared to pull the trigger. Now, go and pull the trigger. If you are rejected, trust me, there are many girls out there that are more attractive than this girls. You are young for your age to realize this.

Every man gets flaked on texts, calls, and dates, and every man gets rejected. It's just a numbers game, OP. You try and if it does not work out, you move on to the next.