I need your advice

[neo_2004]

Last semester, I knew a girl from class. Since day 1, I really liked her. For the first 4-5 weeks, we exchanged short conversations in class. I'm not sure if she liked me or not, but anyway.

One time after class, I was behind her and I struck a conversation. We talked for a while outside school and then she asked if I wanna have a cup of coffee with her at a near-by restaurant. I said yes.

We spent two hours talking about all sort of things. She's the serious-never-smiling type. So, I had trouble figuring out if she liked me or not. Me, on the other hand, kept telling her that I really liked her and how pretty she is, etc..

Everything was really going well! And I thougt I had it! I took her back to her car, knowing I'll see her again in class soon.

In the weeks that followed that, we exchanged short conversation in class, but she was different. She's the moody type. So, sometimes she strikes conversations outta the blue, and sometimes, she walks into class and sit down and not even looking at me, like I don't freaking exist!

Half way through the semester, she stopped coming to class. (i.e., she dropped). She was complaining about being sick, so that was probably why she dropped.

I didn't have any contact information, so there was nothing I could do, though, I really really liked her and still do.

Now, the new semester just started, and I noticed her car parked outside the school. Classes are really short and she parks the same place every time. So, if I wait for her to come out, I'll be able to see her and talk to her.

Now to my question, how can I do this without being a stalker? She had bad expierences in the past with an ex abusing her and (after breaking up) stalking her. So, I really don't wanna scare her.

How do I go about doing this? Wait for her next to her car? Act like I'm walking by? What should I or shouldn't say?

I have Social Anxiety Disorder, but I'm willing to "get over it" and embaress myself, because I really like her.

(PS: Yes, I read, and still reading, the "DJ Bible" and the articles on the website).

Thanks in advance.

neo

 

[sw20racer]

Well, I wouldn't have personally told her how pretty she was and how much you liked her... you should know why, too.

As for the car thing, just pretend you're walking by when she goes out to her car. Make sure you have some books in hands or a have on a backpack. Don't wait by the car because then you'll definitely appear to be stalking her.

Just tell her you enjoyed that cup of coffee with her and would like to get together again. Make sure you number close this conversation!!!

Anyway, that's how I would go about dealing with this situation.

 

[DJmonster]

Do yourself a huge favor and forget about this girl. She's not special. You're the aspiring DJ. Go start fresh with some new girls. Study the bible intensely. If you do it right, you won't be wondering whether or not the girl likes you, and you won't find yourself making excuses for the girls behavior.

 

[FitnessGuy]

Here's the best way to seem normal about it...

Sit somewhere distant and wait for her. When she is walking to her car or whatever just walk up to her and say something like "Hey what's up long time no see". She will at this point probably say "hi" and hopefully smile. Then strike conversation, ask her how she's been and stuff like that. Keep the convo going, and stay relaxed.

Now the conversation will eventually come to a point where it will probably get dull or come close to dying, this is when she will say she has to go. This is where you ask her if she wants to go get something to eat, or a go get a cup of coffee etc. If she says no, and she might, then ask her if she wants to hang out another time. If she says yes, THEN you give her your number or ask for her number, this has to be a judgement call, an on the spot decision of which to do that is based on what kind of vibe she is giving you at this point. If she says no, then that's it, move on.

Ok so lets review...
1. Don't ask her to hang out until she says she has to leave.
2. Have the casual conversation first, that way YOU will feel more comfortable and she will feel more comfortable.
3. If she says she can't or she's busy and gives an excuse, then ask if she wants to hang out another time. If she says yes, you ask for her number or give her yours, which you choose to do should be based on the vibe she is giving you. You should be able to tell if she likes you at this point.

 

[FitnessGuy]

Me, on the other hand, kept telling her that I really liked her and how pretty she is, etc..

Woah I missed that part. Contrary to popular belief I think this is OK to do but not if she isn't giving you the same vibe. She has to give you the vibe that she likes you, you gotta be able to see that. The problem with most guys who do this is that the girl doesn't feel the same way, and you end up screwing yourself.

Anyways...do what I said in my above post, but FEEL HER VIBE, pick up on it so you know if she likes you.

 

[DJmonster]

news flash! she doesn't like you! and why are we using the word "like." Based on your post, her INTEREST LEVEL is very low.

She's the serious-never-smiling type. So, I had trouble figuring out if she liked me or not. Me, on the other hand, kept telling her that I really liked her and how pretty she is, etc..

I don't care how serious she is, no smiling=low interest.
You telling her you like her/she's pretty=no challenge for her=low interest.

sometimes, she walks into class and sit down and not even looking at me, like I don't freaking exist!

If she was at all interested she wouldn't do this. Forget about this dropout, and go practice and hone your DJ skills on new women.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

You spilled your guts out to someone you don't evem know??? Never tell people you like them when you don't even know who they are!!!! Or else you sound false in your judgment and seem too eager to please - AFC!!!! Never like somebody because of their looks, this is given to them by fate -rather, judge them by their character, which is earned by their actions!!!!