I need this mindset:: Hunter/Gatherer/Conquerer

[FoxHound20]

Yo, I need some help here... with my mindset and thinking.

I just finished reading a truly inspirational post by DarkDream; The Holy Grail of Dating and have been watching the movie Fight Club on a daily basis, in hopes of desperately trying to adopt a hunter/gatherer mindset.

I truly wish to adopt a mindset where I believe that only my view counts.. (ie. focus all of my attention on myself, and not on others). In the movie FightClub, Edward Norton's character (before becomming Tyler Durden) had the mindset of where iam at right now. I believe that i'm on the brink of something better, but I find myself falling back into my old tendancies and thoughts. I want to LET GO of every thought that is truly irrelevant, and just SLIDE. To have No Fear, No Distraction... the ability to let that which truly doesn't matter, slide. Just let go and take what I want, not worry what others believe, and to conquer everything around me.

This idea of letting go of everything, and not giving a **** how other people perceive me, is impossible at the moment. I constantly find myself adjusting to the way I think that people view me. I almost wish that I could be thrown out into the wilderness to survive off of my instincts, and preprogrammed survival mindset. This would be the ultimate learning experience.. but this woudn't work with my current schedule.

I'd love some replies of those who have truly morphed their mindsets into that which I'm trying to attain.. tell me your thoughts, and what you did to accomplish this. I truly believe that i'm on almost there, but I can't seem to jump over the last few hurdles that my mind has setup.

 

[Julian]

Man i hear you, a good quote is when pitt says "You cant gain anything until you've lost everything".

I find it hard to hit rock bottom and build myself up from their ya know.

Ive also tried to adopt this mindset but it is hard.

There has to be a turning point, somethings got to give. Your not just gonna think your way into it. Some circumstance, some situation has to be occuring for you to change your mindset so dramatically.

Something has to set the fire.

Actions speak louder then words as the old saying goes. Dramatic changes need to take place. Somethings gotta break.

 

[FoxHound20]

True, but there has to be something else other than an event that gets the ball rolling inside your head. I'd love to have that mindset....

When people say "dont believe you are, know you are".. i hate that ****.

 

[studmuffin15]

not sure how helpful this will be to you because i'm not sure if you are looking for generalities or specific examples, but here is what i have to offer:

when you say, "what 'people' think of me".....i think it should be narrowed down to what "girls" think of you, and here's why. first, those total strangers you pass walking on the street everyday, you don't know them, they don't know you, and neither will see each other again. it's not relevant.

second, you may be concerned with what guy you know think about you. but again, guys tend to hang with and befriend people with similiar interests and qualities, so your friends really should be like you to some extent and if they really are your boys, they won't judge you and will gladly come to your aid if any other guys take excception to you for some reason.

which brings me to the third possible group that you would be concerned with what they think of you -- girls that you are interested in.

to elaborate on this, let me tell you about myself. when i was in high school, i was a total AFC. i would be the guy that "asked" girls out, bought them flowers and sh!t like that...all the wussy stuff. and worst of all, if a girl i liked ever dumped me or blew me off, i would take it as *the worst* possible insult ever. although i wouldn't tell her this, i would think to myself, you fukking wh*re, what is wrong with me?!? why dont u like me?!?!? and i would think to myself that i had this character flaw and that no girl would ever like me and i would be all by myself when i got older and all that kind of stupid stuff.

as i grew older, i realized that there are probably 2 types of people in the world. people who are very insecure with their lives - people who constantly try to morph themselves into the kind of peson people (especially girls) will like. and then there's another type of person who is passionate about life, has legitimate interests, lives life to be happy, and doesn't give a fukk about what people think or how he or she is perceived.

when i was in high school, i was naturally the former. now that i have graduated college, i have matured and am now the latter. how did i accomplish this? well, it relates to what the guy before me posted -- enough shyt happened to me that made me snap and want to change.

i was so tired about being the AFC loser who got toyed with by girls and was just a tool of flattery for them when i "asked" them to go out with me, i decided to change big time.

first, i became passionate about career and work, and this now rides shotgun to anything else in my life, except for family and friends. girls come about 4th or 5th on my list. and if i don't get laid on a friday or sat. nite bcuz girls arent my focus? who cares? i am young and have my entire life to get laid.

second, i got myself in shape, and this makes a huge difference. i am about 6'2", 200lbs, with 6% body fat and rips all over my body, including a sick six-pack.

i have educated myself and made the most of my mind and body. i work a great-paying, exciting job and am loving life. i love myself and am proud at who i am.

and now i tend to be the guy that girls look at when i enter a room, instead of me always being the one that gawks at them. i have noticed this in recent months and just have to laugh. when a girl blows me off now, u know what i think? she's a poor talent evaluator. i don't immediately blame myself for "not being good enough". instead, i believe shes not good enough for me.

i am hoping that you can see how i have changed over the past 5+ years and what made me change.

i really do think that it takes being pushed in the mud by the bully for the last time for you to really ignite an inner fire to want to change your perceptions and approach towards life. this is because you may want to change now, but it is passive. without that pissed off mindset and ovrwhelming desire to change, your attempts will be hollow and you will likely fail to follow thru.

do you believe that you have reached this point yet? or are you just looking to take on the persona of the charactes in the movie? i am looking to hear more!

 

[jamesw82]

Hey !

Its great to hear your story...

I'm on the first rung of that ladder, building myself into the person I want to be, getting interests and priorities, just generally getting my life by its neck and saying This Is My Time !!!

It might sound naff, but its true and i'm slowly beginning to realise more about myself, and even begin to love myself, something I never thought possible. I've got a kickass job, and that has really helped, im valued highly there and ive managed to carry across the confidence from my working life into my social / personal life..

Onwards and upwards, and remember, you only get one chance with life.. so live it !

James

 

[FoxHound20]

Studmuffin15,

Man am I happy that you replyed.

I like your progression from AFC to Passionate Man. It's good to see that weights were instrumental in helping, as I have a great weightset at home that i'm currently working out on. However, I know that I haven't reached this point yet, but I feel as though i've made great steps and am very close. I think that you are right when you mention that "you need a bully to toss you into the mud for the last time". The thing is, that I never get bullyed... I believe that the bully that you are referring to is a chick (ie. getting dumped or told off).

I'd love to have a mindset 'along the same lines' as Tyler Durden in Fightclub. He is the master of all environments and lets stuff slide like nothing. His ability to alpha-control every situation is awesome, and provides a great learning experience. I think it would truly rock to progress towards a mindset like his.

 

[studmuffin15]

fox:

when i say "bully", it is any type of entity or person that you feel mistreats you, belittles you, doesn't give you the fair chance that you think you deserve, etc.

in considering this, it can be:

A.) a girl who blew you off
B.) an employer who decided not to hire you bcuz you "weren't qualified enough"
C.) a school who rejected you bcuz u "weren't good enough"
D.) a sports team that cut you bcuz you "weren't good enough"

although all these things are different, they hold one thing in common -- they don't believe that you're good enough! so just tailor it to how it impacts your life....

A.) to the girl who blew you off, take the necessary steps to become a "real man", workout, get in good shape, dress nice, etc. then u can laugh when you see the guy she ends up with in the end.

b.) an employer rejected you or college rejected you? u go out and hit the books that much harder to show them they were wrong.

c.) a sports team cut you? u practice harder and join another team and beat the piss out of the one that cut you, etc.

the theme here is that any one of these elements can apply to you in order for you to reach that breaking point. in my case, it was all of the above. i truly hit a "low point" when it seemed my life was collapsing from all angles >> girls didn't want me, employers didn't want me, and colleges didn't want me.

i decided enough was enough and i became serious about my life. i studied like a muthafukka, worked out like a muthafukka, and didn't give a shyt about what anybody thought about me. i had faith in myself and for a while, i need to find joy in myself bcuz it seemed like nobody on the outside had confidence in me.

naturally, everyone's life is different. some of these occurrences may apply to you, or maybe none do. maybe occurrences apply that i haven't listed here.

and as far as "Fight Club" goes, i have never seen it but intend to at some point. but i think my own mindset is pretty much similiar that which you touch on. i have developed myself to the point where nothing rattles me. i kinda enjoy the unexpected bcuz it presents a challenge to me. its like being out at sea on a little boat, and a big wave comes. you try to stand up and steady yourself and the boat without tipping over and losing control of the situation. it's a game, and so is life.

i think that's how i've changed the most. i kinda compare it to being a quarterback. you kinda hang out and wait for the play to develop - don't force anything. i apply this principle to girls, school, everything. i have faith in myself and my abilities, i will sit back and observe, and make the play when i need to.

one of the biggest, most inspiring yet simple phrases that has worked for me, and becomes self-reinforcing after a while when you have some success, when you are faced with an uncertain situation is, "i;m not worried about it...i'll figure something out".

**just say that when u show up to a restuarant with your chick, u find out they forgot to put down your reservation, and ur chick looks at u like "what now?" u will make her wet. but just don't forget to act and rebound too! of course, the action/rebound part will come with experience, trial and error.

just like hockey, life is a game of broken plays >> leave yourself with a plan B!