I need the ULTIMATE advice!

[troubledmofo]

Ok, here goes... Knew a girl for about 4 years. Got on very well, always liked her but never acted on it. More i got to know her, more i liked her, you know the drill. Kinda thought i left it too late, so decided best to leave it. Then while on holidays with her and her friend, and my friend also, we hooked up and i kinda realised i was in trouble with this one. After a few days, and nothing said, it transpired it was definitely not gonna happen. I told her i wanted to kinda walk away from the whole situation, which i now realise was a bluff at the time, but she convinced me to remain friends. We didnt really talk for a few months b/c i thought she handled the situation poorly when we arrived home. This was 9 months ago, and although were back talking and though things are not what they were its fine. But the problem is i honestly only want her and it affects things in other ways, like you dont get involved with others b/c it wouldnt be fair on them that if i had half a chance with my friend i'd be gone. I also fully believe i will get another chance with her, i just need advice on trying to encourage her to think of me that way and maybe get her to start liking me more. I know i should probably in an ideal world walk away but i genuinely think it will only keep going on until its either a yes or a " i never wanna speak to you again" kinda thing. All advice from my friends has been poor, the only advice i've found motivating was a female friend who told me to just keep trying. Any advice on the 7/10 split of relationships?

 

[DoctorLW]

I see this is your first post, but this is as generic as they can come on this board. The advice is always the same, and you don't want to hear it.

You have to move on. The way you feel about her now, you have no chance of getting her. The only way to "get" her is to get over her. By that point, you won't want her anyway.

Move on. There is no other way, and no one here will tell you any differently. You want someone to tell you what you want to hear... and it's just not going to happen because it would be terrible advice.

 

[DonGorgon]

She has moved on ... so you should too..

 

[Dabrant29]

Sometimes learning the hardest lessons learned are the most critical ones in devolping traits so you can be more happy in the future when you least expect it. If you Dwell on this girl it will not only lower your spirits searching for the right things to say n / do for her but it will slow you down from the ultimate goal we all shoot for is opportunity's

 

[troubledmofo]

Yeah. To be honest that is the best thing to do, and I fully intend to do just that. Only problem is how do i tell someone who considers me a friend that i would prefer to sever contact and move on? The whole "its fvcking with my head and cant stop thinking bout you" aint too smooth, so what s the best way to let her know i would be happier without her in my life?

 

[ezily]

I don't know, maybe just tell her the truth. If you are planning on moving on no matter what and severing contact with her then just telling her exactly how you feel about the issue (i.e. you want to move on and not see her again unless she wants something more). i don't think it can hurt.

 

[troubledmofo]

That sounds like an idea but i was kinda hoping to forget about her and move on for a few years, and possibly, through talking to her for the last time, maybe undo some of the damage throwing yourself at someone does. I would like to think in a few years when we've both matured something could happen, and with that in mind, not leave a lasting memory of desperateness. I do think that her being 18 and me being 20 are both factors in this, and i know her through a family friend, so i would like to save face and give a more confident impression of myself if possible when i say my goodbyes...

 

[troubledmofo]

shameless bump

 

[AznPlaya]

All i gotta say is work on your inner game!!! dont learn all these techinques and pick up lines b.s. just work on yourself the most and all the time...And gettin the girl does not bring u forever joy jsut 2 let you know..