lizardking82
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No better description to that phrase then "the beginning of the end".
"I need space"- texts me a day later
- Thread starter JonnyD123
- Start date
I think we need to have some standards as men. Raise the bar. We need to be the one who puts our foot down in cases like this. Call a spade a spade in our own minds.
Treat it like this. Don't view it as labouring for days or weeks. Treat it like this. It isn't the beginning of the end. It is the end. They blew it. They blew their chance. You cut ties and go meet new women immediately.
Confused woman "im so confused. I don't know what i want. I need a week/month/year to clear my head ok?"
Dude. " sure. Take all the time you need. I will do my thing. Goodbye."
Confused woman " you will wait for me until I figured things out right?"
Dude "um. I gotta go. I'm late for my next date."
sazc
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@AttackFormation
Lol, well why didn't you tell ME that? I feel like I could see it coming as well but, in typical "me" style, I wanted to try and work it out
"Dumping" is a harsh word. After an event, we had a few conversations about it, again. He wanted me to change and "get over it" (the ugly words) and I wanted him to take steps to not be ugly.
In the end we both said we get we shouldn't need to change the way we were.
It was essentially a mismatch in how we both felt a relationship should be conducted. It was no one's "fault".
My lesson is to stop trying to change the man. He comes as he comes. I just thought he would see that being ugly was not healthy, or constructive.
Lol, well why didn't you tell ME that? I feel like I could see it coming as well but, in typical "me" style, I wanted to try and work it out
"Dumping" is a harsh word. After an event, we had a few conversations about it, again. He wanted me to change and "get over it" (the ugly words) and I wanted him to take steps to not be ugly.
In the end we both said we get we shouldn't need to change the way we were.
It was essentially a mismatch in how we both felt a relationship should be conducted. It was no one's "fault".
My lesson is to stop trying to change the man. He comes as he comes. I just thought he would see that being ugly was not healthy, or constructive.
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Some people just do not have it in them to view things from mutiple angles. They see things from their POV and any other POV is nothing more except an insult/challenge to who they are. Empathy.
I am finding that empaths are becoming more and more rare these days.
AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
Well... didn't wanna make a negative thing of what you didn't ask about I guess.
If you don't mind, there's some things I'd like to know.
What were his hobbies?
How tall did he say he was, and how tall are you?
Where and how did you meet?
Did he make more money than you?
When did you start liking him? why?
What kind of dates did you go on?
Did you ever suspect he was seeing other women?
And anything else you'd like to add.
Skyline
Master Don Juan
Are you guys all serious right now?
You guys do know that he has complete control over her right? Roller-coaster people are hard to maintain but they do give you very high highs. This is one of the really low lows that come with them. People like this are easier to control. Would you rather have her stalking you and making false accusations to the cops?
OP, all you have to do is continue what you're doing now. If you want to reach back out to her, you can pretty do so at any given time. Her anxiety will just eat her away when you're not paying attention to her. When she starts accusing you of cheating is when you should bounce.
Roller-coaster types have very high anxiety levels. You need to come from a place of confidence and not take her seriously. Going ghost, or just not talking to her for a while, is the easiest way to calm her nerves. She will be drowning in her own anxiety and then all of sudden, you reappear. She then goes from a low to a high.
But again... When she starts accusing you of cheating, or talking to other girls, you should leave her. If someone with high anxiety can't trust you then the relationship is done.
You guys do know that he has complete control over her right? Roller-coaster people are hard to maintain but they do give you very high highs. This is one of the really low lows that come with them. People like this are easier to control. Would you rather have her stalking you and making false accusations to the cops?
OP, all you have to do is continue what you're doing now. If you want to reach back out to her, you can pretty do so at any given time. Her anxiety will just eat her away when you're not paying attention to her. When she starts accusing you of cheating is when you should bounce.
Roller-coaster types have very high anxiety levels. You need to come from a place of confidence and not take her seriously. Going ghost, or just not talking to her for a while, is the easiest way to calm her nerves. She will be drowning in her own anxiety and then all of sudden, you reappear. She then goes from a low to a high.
But again... When she starts accusing you of cheating, or talking to other girls, you should leave her. If someone with high anxiety can't trust you then the relationship is done.
lizardking82
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No. Nothing to that. No answer. She asked for space, remember? She cannot just show up and tell you "hey, I was just messin' around with you, up for a date?". **** her and her games. Until she comes to you telling you what the real problem is, you don't wanna date this chick.
Hope you don't ***** out like I did before in my life in some cases and was willing to be her doormat. Don't be her doormat.
Before all this went down we had plans to meet up tomorrow anyways. I'm gonna at least wait until tomorrow to respond, if I do at all.
This.
If you (the OP ) say anything at all to her you say this:
"I realized in this time of peace and quiet how i need space too."
Then proceed with NC.
Roober
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The natural need is to want to hold on, but now she is backpedaling... something in her plan didn't work out and you are now option b. If you are okay with being her backup plan, then by all means keep contacting her...
Before hurricane Katrina, the people of new orleans had plans to go through out their normal routine too. Then the storm happened and things changed. And new orleans will never be the same.
She basically said by saying "i need space," is that she doesn't care about you long term. Why would a girl suddenly need space ? Why would she suddenly need time away from you?
Something changed. What changed? Her feelings for you. A storm happened in her own mind. we don't know for sure but i would guess 99% that there was another dog in the yard. Another dude sniffing around her fire hydrant.
If she can go wishy washy monday "i love you" tuesday "i need space" wednesday " ooops i facked up. I don't need space anymore. " thursday "take me bsck." What do you think will happen AGAIN when the next guy shows her interest. The branch may not break next time.
Why reward a girl like this with your affection, attention and your time.
Go date other women.
Glassguy
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Well stated.
Excellent post
EyeBRollin
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Find a new woman. She's out.