I need some opinions on this situation! 13 year age difference!

[sodbuster]

No, I REALLY don't care what you do. No reverse psychology involved.It's not like we have So suave reunions and we are best buds. I've got my 2 sons to worry about-you really don't count[the world doesn't revolve around a 19 year old chatting with me on a site]. When i tell a patient they have a deep cavity and they don't want to fix it because" it doesn't hurt yet", I don't care either-they WILL get a toothache,it WILL cost more to fix and I WON'T answer the phone when they call to mess up my weekend. I'll charge them extra to squeeze them in monday. "Poor planning on your part doesn't make it an emergency on my part".

If you want to learn, we will help you;but,no one here REALLY cares what you do with your life. We aren't your brothers,parents or childhood friends.

 

[Dukester101]

Personally, Kari...

I think you should just go for it and do what you want to do. Like others have said, it does seem as though you have your mind made up already anyway.

You've obviously got nothing to lose. Like you mentioned though, failures are just an opportunity to learn and get better. Think of this as nothing different. While all signs and logic point to this NOT working out, it could be one hell of a good learning experience for you. Sometimes the best way to learn is the hard way (hopefully this is not the case).

I know in my life, I never heed others' advice. I'm pretty damn stubborn and I'd rather learn things the hard way (even if that means I have to fall on my ass a lot). I think it helps me learn better. It's easy for someone to say "I've been there and done that," but to experience yourself is a whole different story.

I say good luck to you, and if it works out, great. If not... well I think you have the maturity to chalk it up as a learning experience and move on to someone "more your age."

 

[Warrior74]

Good advice so far. Very much appreciated.

@Warrior75- Thanks for the compliment, but I have not "made up my mind", which is why I posted this. I hold the "Veteran" posters of Sosuave.com in high regard, for they have Wisdom (Personal experience) and Knowledge (by reading information posted on this website by others) in the area of Dating. I always look for others perspectives on such matters, it helps me develop.

@jophil28- I did not mean anything negative by my comment to "sodbuster" I just have little tolerance for someone telling me what to do. Suggestions are always welcome, commands are not. I felt like he commanded, so I took appropriate action in a respectful manner.

Also I am glad you approve. You said "However you do not yet have the experience with women that generates wisdom and discernment." I am 100% positive that you are correct in the assumption, but how am I supposed to get experience without taking some risks? I see this situation as a chance to learn something. To me there are no failures in life, only lessons or opportunities and once I make a perceived mistake, I always correct it. Also you said "Good luck with this- we are here if you need to "talk" . I have a hunch that you will be back in a few months." I do not think it will take months. It could take Minutes, Hours, Days or Weeks. If I see any serious problems, this "relationship" will be over a.s.a.p. I do not "play games" of this nature. I think I will stick around here for a bit, but I would LOVE to hear any tips you may have on women/dating, you and Warrior75. PM me please, I think it would be a nice discussion.

@logic1-"yelp, you have it figured out. You have nothing to learn here." I would argue to the contrary. I still have much to learn and ponder. In fact I am sure I will be learning things for the rest of my existence on this planet. I look forward to it.

@Julius_Seizeher- I like your moniker, it is very witty in my opinion. And yes I am aware why you may perceive it in that manner. I studied all the works of "Pook" from this website and his blog, and yes the manipulation of honest, trustworthy into slaves, is widely abound in the American culture but, trust me, I am no fool and I, figuratively speaking, squash Spiders for fun. (I would never do it literally though, I respect all forms of life) Thanks for your response.

@iqqi- Why are you "criticizing" me unnecessarily? I use my extended vocabulary whenever I wish. And we, more accurately you, seem to have a misunderstood a few things:

"The best advice you'll get on this is (drum roll please!)... just have fun."

1.)Gee wilikers, thanks Captain Obvious. :eyeroll: "Fun" is a goal in all of my endeavors of life. You might want consider being more mindful of your feelings, arrogance is not a good trait to have in my opinion. Unless you were not attempting to be arrogant. Perhaps it was funny/sarcasm, that you attempted to convey? I do not know, please clarify.

"The age difference might not matter once you are a little older, but right now you are just way too young to even worry about serious romances with 30 year olds."

2.)My exact statement was " I am positive she is looking for a serious relationship..." Which is not an absolute certainty or fact. It is merely speculation. Furthermore what makes you assume that I am "worrying" about anything. I keep a detached objective mind set when dealing with issues, so "worrying" about anything, for me, is not only unproductive but also impractical, for things will happen as they happen when and if they do happen. So if I can't change it, I do not waste my precious time dwelling on it.

"If you happen to find yourself in a year long, or even a two year long, relationship with this woman... then great! Maybe you'll learn something. Otherwise, just go with the flow, and have fun."

3.) Good advice, I am highly doubtful it will get that far but hey, who knows

"f she is naive enough to think that a 19 year old is anywhere near ready for marriage, that is her fault. She is older and should know better."

4.) I am 19 in physical age only. Intellectually, Morally, Philosophically, etc I am "different". And you are overlooking that fact that "Marriage" is not apart of my future. I stated that in a previous post. In fact I know "Marriage" is just a long-term or life financial contract and I think its absurd. In fact don't even think life long monogamous relationships are even a Natural occurrence for our species, but that is an entirely different topic altogether.

Thanks a lot for your responses, I have a lot to think about. I look forward to the replies

Yah. You've totally made up your mind. At this point all I can say is protect your heart, still spin plates and don't fall in love. I remember dating a 24 year old with a 3 year old son when I was 19, ended up getting into it with her 28 year old baby daddy. I was just in it for the experience and the sex with a more mature woman. But I was completly unaware of the danger....thinking with my dyck. Keep ya head on a swivel, don't fall in love (it won't last) and stay looking out for redflags.

The worst thing you have going for you is that she's your neighbor. So any drama is gonna follow you home. Break up with her...shes right there. Get attached to the kid, he's right there. Baby Daddy Drama, it's right there next door. Cheat on her....good luck, her cheating on you...or dating someone else, in your face.

 

[jophil28]

@jophil28- I did not mean anything negative by my comment to "sodbuster" I just have little tolerance for someone telling me what to do. Suggestions are always welcome, commands are not. I felt like he commanded, so I took appropriate action in a respectful manner.

When I was a young army Lieutenant I was given my first platoon to lead , then another and then another. Occasionally I would have the annoying misfortune of having to "convince" a new grunt that I was in charge and my word was law. Oftentimes it took a concerted persuasion on my part to convince a recalcitrant that his perception of his "right's" were irrelevant to the military and that his personal dislike of being "commanded" was not encouraged by the army.

Kari, there is always going to be someone telling you what to do and how to do it. IF you are smart you will listen to what is being said to you and extract the value .
Ultimately, being defiant, argumentative or oppositional is not in your best interests.

Carry on.

 

[ElChoclo]

Sodbuster, I love that kind of tough professional man talk. The OP is a borderline troll. At 19 they think they're the only men who have ever had a hard on.

Kari why don't you just move in with your nextwh*re neighbour and start raising the 6 year old as your kid. I found your account of her seduction of you to be completely nauseating.

 

[squirrels]

The fact that you're even posting here "asking for advice" means that you DO see something "odd" about this situation and it's making you uncomfortable.

You're nine-f*cking-teen years old. This woman lives next to you AND has a kid. What part of this equation seems appealing to you??

You seriously need to go out and get laid. The only reason anyone with half a brain would even CONSIDER tripping into this situation would be lack of options and lack of experience.

You know what those 32-year-olds are telling you out loud, the 19-year-olds you meet are THINKING it but are too shy to say it. Go out and find some tail. Once you've slept with a couple of other girls, you'll realize how silly this whole idea is.

 

[Kari]

The fact that you're even posting here "asking for advice" means that you DO see something "odd" about this situation and it's making you uncomfortable.

You're nine-f*cking-teen years old. This woman lives next to you AND has a kid. What part of this equation seems appealing to you??

You seriously need to go out and get laid. The only reason anyone with half a brain would even CONSIDER tripping into this situation would be lack of options and lack of experience.

You know what those 32-year-olds are telling you out loud, the 19-year-olds you meet are THINKING it but are too shy to say it. Go out and find some tail. Once you've slept with a couple of other girls, you'll realize how silly this whole idea is.

You know something, I agree with you. All of you who have posted. After weighing this situation and in light of things that happened on our "date", I have decided that I will discontinue this "relationship".

I deleted the woman's number and will attempt to have minimum contact with her. The only problem is she is my next door neighbor...Oh well, at least things didn't get very far. I feel like I've dodged a bullet..well atleast I have got this experience under my belt and now I will never allow this to happen again.

Thanks alot of all of your input, you guys are awsome.

 

[HariPoter13]

Ok, for starters one fact that I neglected to mention was the fact that this is not a random female who I have just come into contact with, I have been acquainted with "Ashley"(A Pseudonym) for approximately 8 months. When I first met her I was the one who attempted to start a relationship (sexual) with her. (As a side note I am well acquainted with this website and I have assimilated the advice given here quite well, I actually have my pick of the women, I get sexually harassed frequently, but I only flirt, and other things of that nature, at work. I don't devote any of my "free-time" to "picking up women" or other trivial events).

Ok, back to the topic at hand: "Ashley" is attractive for her age and I assumed she was in her mid-to-late twenties. Needless to say, she rejected all of my advances and she did not "take any of the bait" of my "Techniques". This woman did not even want me touching her, period I tried, she rejected all attempts so I decided to stop trying and move on. We remained ok associates but we never really called each other, "hung out" or anything. During this period I went about improving my physical appearance quite drastically. Became a Vegetarian, worked out, better dressing, etc. Basically becoming the sophisticated male you are "talking" with today. I have always been "advanced" for my age mentally, maturity wise, intellectually etc; but I did not look like it until very recently. Now that that's out of the way, let us commence with the topic once again.

About a month ago I saw "Ashely", while I was returning to my place of residence, and she stated, "Kari, you look sooo handsome." with a smile. Now taking into consideration the last time, I assumed she was only joking, so I said thanks, awkwardly, and continued about my personal business. Then a week later I saw her after what could be called a "workout", I had on a muscle shirt, she was talking with another neighbor lady and then she states to me "Hey sexy, I'm loving the muscle shirt, wooo!" Of course I was yet again surprised so I reacted the same as last time. Then I went over to her house a few more times and long story short, she taught me how to dance, then after that she started playing "love songs" when I'm over and she kept singing to me the lyrics. Interesting, and she actively initiated us touching and rubbing on each other etc. But no sex has happened. We are actually going out tonight, so I may brief you on what happens, we are going to see the movie Kick-Ass, because I was informed that it was awesome.

*Poof* A man appears. The man inhales. He inhales like he has never inhaled before. An then he shouts from the top of his lungs. SPARTAAAA


O man, I was planning already on doing it. But this just adds the motivation. Thanks OP

 

[Kailex]

You know something, I agree with you. All of you who have posted. After weighing this situation and in light of things that happened on our "date", I have decided that I will discontinue this "relationship".

Thanks alot of all of your input, you guys are awsome.

What happened on your "date"?

 

[Wodinart]

The fact that you're even posting here "asking for advice" means that you DO see something "odd" about this situation and it's making you uncomfortable.

You're nine-f*cking-teen years old. This woman lives next to you AND has a kid. What part of this equation seems appealing to you??

You seriously need to go out and get laid. The only reason anyone with half a brain would even CONSIDER tripping into this situation would be lack of options and lack of experience.

You know what those 32-year-olds are telling you out loud, the 19-year-olds you meet are THINKING it but are too shy to say it. Go out and find some tail. Once you've slept with a couple of other girls, you'll realize how silly this whole idea is.

My thoughts entirely. This has danger written all over it.

 

[horaholic]

I think the part about her being your neighbor was the biggest red flag. Other than that, I think dating an older girl for a while is a great thing for a youngster. Thats straight up sex ed at its finest! Banging neighbors under questionable terms is not wise.

 

[Kari]

What happened on your "date"?

Stupid sh*t. I payed for everything. Its not her fault though, I have to take responsiblity. I mean if someone paid for my date in full, I'd do that sh*t to. Goddamn, I felt like a douchebag. I also apologize to the members of this forum, I should not have used all those big words and such a formal approach. I should use that sh*t on a literature exam paper, not a f*cking internet forum...it was very douchebaggy.

But f*ck, I made another decision: That girl is going to work off that date. I'm going to make her do some sh*t for me, prolly make me some sandwiches and a massage or a BJ. It's cool though, she made me think about financies and how much I could have saved by going out on my own...I even talked with this business man about that sh*t...Time to start my Master Plan lol...but this dating sh*t and spending money I could of put in a fund is not going to happen again. :box:

 

[Kari]

*Poof* A man appears. The man inhales. He inhales like he has never inhaled before. An then he shouts from the top of his lungs. SPARTAAAA

F*ck yeah! :rockon:

 

[Kari]

My thoughts entirely. This has danger written all over it.

Hell yeah! I thrive on danger, but I'm going to be wary though. Not going to do anything for that kid of hers, so I should be good. If she tries to sucker me into that I'm heading for the hills, quick!

 

[Kari]

I think the part about her being your neighbor was the biggest red flag. Other than that, I think dating an older girl for a while is a great thing for a youngster. Thats straight up sex ed at its finest! Banging neighbors under questionable terms is not wise.

It better be the best ever, I don't like to waste time. Also I agree, this is not the best decision I could ever make...but I've changed alot..in two f*cking days...you should have seen me in the beginning of this thread...all star struck n sh*t, not listening to anyone and arguing...damn i I feel dumb lol

 

[Kari]

\If you want to learn, we will help you;but,no one here REALLY cares what you do with your life. We aren't your brothers,parents or childhood friends.

Point well said.