I need some massive help, asap

[woods]

You're making a mistake by trying to be friends. Distance, Distance, Distance.
She said she fell out of love with you. She is telling the truth. You've been together five years, its gonna be rough on her too. She will do the roller coaster for a long time. Of course she is gonna doubt whether she made the right decision or not. She's human. Dont confuse this for her falling back in love with you! She will go back and forth, but she made the decision. Well, she didnt make the decision, she fell out of love with you, and fell for another guy. DONT FORGET THAT! If she tries to get back with you, its cuz she's used to you being around, and is too scared to be alone, but it doesnt mean she wants to, but doesnt know how to be without you. The bitter fact is, she has to learn, and so do you. Being friends so soon is emotional suicide.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Ok, ask yourself, "If we have been together for five years, why did she leave abruptly?" Women don't leave abruptly! They think about it for months!! And women who are having sex don't just leave without having another option, (i.e. sex partner)!

Don't believe everything she says, tell her that you will consider what she said but you need time to digest it - make no comittments or promises!!!

Drill her with many questions and look for body and facial expressions to gather her true intentions!!

You are emotionally attached so I doubt you will make the correct decision - you are leaning towards accepting what she says as true and genuine!

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Woods is right. Don't confuse love with comfort. She's missing the comfort.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

Whenever a woman says she is *confused* - it nearly always means she has met someone else she potentially likes, and could see herself being in a relationship with.

Why are you always letting her dictate the terms - like her coming over, and you jump up and down and say OK. Dont you have other plans?

Your making some big mistakes.

My reponse to her ' i'd like to see you sunday, but i'm already seeing x and doing y'. Let me see when I'm free and I'l call you back sometime'

See how you take control here. Suddenly its YOU that is leading. Doesnt sound like your a challenge for her anymore.

Furthermore - she has hurt you too, so why she is dictating that the visit is as 'just friends', shouldnt you be saying this? doesnt she now need to prove herself to you again that you want to date her? she has after all messed up !

More importantly, where's your backup woman that you can go and chill with. she has her backup guy.....

Your too emotuionally involved in her, and she isnt in you.

Nothing will be solved on Sunday if she comes round. Call a break on her, tell her you need time to re-think things, and take back control before its too late. If there';s anything left, she will come running back when she realises what she's lost.

At the minute she's lost NOTHING, because your there like a chump waiting to take her back at the drop of a finger.

*despairs*

PM

 

[speed dawg]

Man, classic denial. This HAS to be the work of a troll.

You can't see her Sunday. Don't do it. That would be your biggest mistake. Trust me.

 

[alphaace]

Thanks for the advice guys. I will message her saying I cant do sunday, and ill call her back later and give her a day sometime this week.

I dont have a bakcup woman because I just moved away from home for college, I guess I thought this would work out because she would be coming up to the same area next semester.

LSM, your right, she was thinking about it for months, she said she was asking her friends for advise and ****. She thought about it before she met this new guy. You are right about being emotionally attached, and even now that I know this I will still probably make the wrong choice. I will try my hardest not to though, but it will be tough.

None of this has anything to do that involves sex, so responding with **** like that is just wasting your time typing and my time reading. Shes not a slvt like a lot of people on this board think she is.

 

[speed dawg]

I didn't think my last couple of ex-girlfriends were slvts either. Don't be naive. All girls are slvts, they just have varying degrees of how public it is.

Sounds like you're the only guy she's ever been with. Same for you. Let yourself, and her, go out and experience life. If you get back together, great. If not, so be it. You'll probably find a girl just as good before then. Start now on becoming an independent man.

I suggest not dating any girls for about a month and doing other stuff, just so you will see that you don't NEED a woman in your life.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

Do not message her.

PHONE her, act normal, keep it sweet and short.

Say that 'you didnt realise you had x on with y that day, but you do still want to meet up. Then say, I'l check what i've got coming up, and let you know when i'm free'

Simple eh?

This WILL work. dont let her question anything, and get off the phone quick.

 

[speed dawg]

Do not message her.

PHONE her, act normal, keep it sweet and short.

Say that 'you didnt realise you had x on with y that day, but you do still want to meet up. Then say, I'l check what i've got coming up, and let you know when i'm free'

Simple eh?

This WILL work. dont let her question anything, and get off the phone quick.

 

[djbr]

Ok, ask yourself, "If we have been together for five years, why did she leave abruptly?" Women don't leave abruptly! They think about it for months!! And women who are having sex don't just leave without having another option, (i.e. sex partner)!

This thread looks like a trolling attempt, but still, this quote is great.

 

[alphaace]

Update : I called her today and told her the only time I had some free time was on wednesday and she agree'd to come over then. She talked soft and replyed "Oh, ok". Told her I had to go after she agreed to come up wednesday.

I know only moving it back three days wont accomplish much, or anything at all. But me telling her when she could come over might help a little, not sure. If she trys to pull the "just friends visit" on me im just going to tell her its not going to work out because im still emotionally attached and it would just end up hurting me more.

Thanks for all the advise guys, ill keep you posted on what happins.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Ok, so here is the deal. My g/f of almost 5 years (march 15) just broke up with me because she told me that she has fallen out of love with me. .

I had to re-read your post and I stopped at the first sentence - read this over 100 times!!! She does not love you - so there could never be a meaningful long-lasting relationship ever!!! If she says so it is because her other "option" didn;t work out -- you are seconds, thirds - a desperate attempt! Haha, hope she don't say "I'm pregnant"!

 

[alphaace]

Update: We did'nt meet up today because supposidly she has to write some papers for tomorrow's class, which is probably bs, but whatever. I told her Sunday was the next day I was open she she said ok, but who knows if that will go on as planned.



Also: I never mentioned this in my other posts. But a couple of months before this whole thing started I lived with her for a semester of college. Do you think maybe that started the whole thing? Maybe she didnt approve of my living habbits and decided that it should end?

On a side note: My roommate is throwing a party this saturday and theres suppose to be a lot of honies coming. I still feel im not over my ex because I do want to get back with her and she does meant he world to me (I donno, maybe I just have one-itis), and I know this website is all about getting some azz. But if a more mature person could respond with some advise as in wether I should try hit some at the party or wait until I talk to my ex about things, it would be great.

p.s. Dont respond if your just going to say **** like "drop this ho, she isnt interested anymore" or something along those lines. Im looking for someone to actualy help me and not be just another prick.

 

[topgetter]

Hey man, A moment of silence!!!! I have been in this shoes twice. First, I was in your shoes 5 months ago. It hurts! I feel your pain. Here is my word for you. JUST MOVE ON. IF U TRY TO GET HER BACK, you might be successful, but, U WILL GET HURT AGAIN. I played that game for a while.


The second senerio, what i did was just cut off every tighs with her. Later, she called and tried to say, "Lets be friends", i told her NO and hung up. Few weeks later, she called and said she missed me. I told her I did not. I guess that got her crazy and that was how i got her back...

I have also slept with some girls who told me they have been in a relationship for a very long time... I can remember one of them has been in a relationship for about 6 years. I wept when i found out and never called her back. One thing that most girls that cheat on their boyfriend say is that he does not listen, or they think that he is cheating on them. So my word for you man is, Sit down, try to write down every thing you think went wrong. Memorise them and say to yourself, "i will be a better man".

Realistically, it is hard. But i think it is better for a GF of 5 years to leave you than a WIFE for 15 years. .....