I need some massive help, asap

[alphaace]

Ok, so here is the deal. My g/f of almost 5 years (march 15) just broke up with me because she told me that she has fallen out of love with me. Heres just a little background about the relationship. Started dating halfway through Freshman year of high school. Went and did a crap load of exciting things. She said that I would make her feel stupid and I would squash her feelings. I know I wasnt the greatest boyfriend, and I have done many stupid things, this was my first serious relationship and sometimes I really didnt know what to do or say. The biggest thing that sticks out in my mind is that one time she started to cry after she talked to me, and I didnt go comfort her, I know that was a mistake, and I wish I could take that back, but it only happined that once, and never happined again. I personaly had a great 5 years with this person. She said she started feeling unhappy a couple months ago, and didnt know how to go about breaking it off with me. She never told me once that she was unhappy. She broke up with me on a Monday, and she spent the previous weekend with me, she seemed very happy, and didnt show any signs of doubt, and thats whats so shocking about this. She said she has been starting to have feelings for this other guy (ironicaly, he was my best friend in middle school) and thats what gave her enough courage to call me and break up. I love this person very much and I do not want to lose her. I know I have left some things out and this is rather vague, so if you have any questions just leave a responce asking for something or e-mail me.

 

[Last Man Standing]

OK kid, you want to know why she left?? Don't ask her - it'll do you no good!! She is gone - face the fact!! You were putting your penis in her for five years - so you had a long run with her - she found a new penis and most likely had many more that you don;t know about!!!

She wasn't your wife so there was no committment - find another hor and just realize that you were the next pimp in line!!! Pimp hors - love your wife!!

 

[edmond]

Ok, so here is the deal. My g/f of almost 5 years (march 15) just broke up with me because she told me that she has fallen out of love with me. Heres just a little background about the relationship. Started dating halfway through Freshman year of high school. Went and did a crap load of exciting things. She said that I would make her feel stupid and I would squash her feelings. I know I wasnt the greatest boyfriend, and I have done many stupid things, this was my first serious relationship and sometimes I really didnt know what to do or say. The biggest thing that sticks out in my mind is that one time she started to cry after she talked to me, and I didnt go comfort her, I know that was a mistake, and I wish I could take that back, but it only happined that once, and never happined again. I personaly had a great 5 years with this person. She said she started feeling unhappy a couple months ago, and didnt know how to go about breaking it off with me. She never told me once that she was unhappy. She broke up with me on a Monday, and she spent the previous weekend with me, she seemed very happy, and didnt show any signs of doubt, and thats whats so shocking about this. She said she has been starting to have feelings for this other guy (ironicaly, he was my best friend in middle school) and thats what gave her enough courage to call me and break up. I love this person very much and I do not want to lose her. I know I have left some things out and this is rather vague, so if you have any questions just leave a responce asking for something or e-mail me.

I went through the same crap as you, listen to the great advice from Last Man Standing.
Forget the b<itch, get a life and move on.

 

[Last Man Standing]

I went through the same crap as you, listen to the great advice from Last Man Standing.
Forget the b<itch, get a life and move on.

Damnnnnn, you are from Barcelona and England? You must be a big dude!!

These youngbloods, are in their infancy, and they need strong harsh counsel or a hor-rid experience(s) to wake them up from their conditioned slumber!! In due time they will be awakened - the quesion is how much will it cost them!!!!!

 

[edmond]

Damnnnnn, you are from Barcelona and England? You must be a big dude!!

These youngbloods, are in their infancy, and they need strong harsh counsel or a hor-rid experience(s) to wake them up from their conditioned slumber!! In due time they will be awakened - the quesion is how much will it cost them!!!!!

Some never learn, I still see guys over 50 doing the same sh#t.
No woman is worth the stress, except my mother and sister.
I spend all my spare time on improving myself, mountain biking, swim, gym and a complete overhaul of my clothes, all these make me feel good.
I have quit the dating game, the BS with women is not worth it.

 

[Modro]

I am going through the same, but not with her for as long though. All i can suggest is to talk to her. If she is upset about it ignore her. DO NOT BEG FOR HER BACK she needs to miss you dude and realise what you had, even if it means being with this new guy.

but in reality start getting stuff to do and keep busy, she probably got burned out and is not coming back anytime soon. Spend time doing things you always wanted to.

 

[Obsidian]

try actually reading some of the material at this site!

So i imagine that you were together all through high school and then you went to different colleges and this eventually happened. What did you expect?

Were you two actually having sex for these five years or what? Really, regardless of what the answer is, a non-marital relationship isn't likely to last more than five years. That's kind of what marriage is for. The sexual bond only works to really cement a relationship for a couple of years; after that, a higher level of maturity is required to keep people together.

Anyway, the advice so far has been good. Don't call her or contact her in any way. If you see her, try to act normal and smile at her but don't talk for longer than about half a minute. It's conceivable that she'll come crawling back, but whether she does or not, the job at hand now is to forget about her.

Do something to improve yourself and keep a look out for other girls asap.

And read the f*cking DJ Bible.

 

[Chosen1]

Thank you for putting is so eloquently othello. What I learned from having my heart broke twice (I broke it myself once), is that she is not thinking about you.

I mean think about all the great times she's having. Then let that fuel you become a better person through and through. Become so successful that she couldn't help but notice you. Then you can do one of two things. You can try to get her back, or you can graduate and move on. Again one last time Ross Jefferies says to have sex with at least 10 different women. Then see how much you care about her because like last man said she's probably done that.

 

[lordson]

my mate had this done to him, and its no good pleading and begging her to come back.

shes going to see that you're desperate and would not care for teh situation one bit

distance yoruself a bit, so she can miss you and reliase what a mistake she made

either THAT will happen, or she now wants nothign more to do with you

in which case, mate. its over, there is absolutely nothing you can do about. i suggest you move on.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

Sorry to say this mate, but it sounds like she is definately interested in someone else.

reasons for thinking this:

1) according to you everything was OK the weekend before she split with you
2) you have not had any major fights about anything

you;ve had some good advice above. Listen to it. Keep busy, go to the gym, see friends, and definatetly start meeting up with other women, even if its as friends initially.

Your blaming yourself for this, why? from what i've read you;ve hardly done anything to cause a breakup after 5 years of seeing her. This is her doing. Also, she NEVER even let you know something was up, whats the deal there, are you pyschic and supposed to know? if she never told you, how could you know and work through it. Thats what relationships are all about, working through problems, assuming she's worth it, which until now yours sounded like she was..

So many guys blame themselves for the breakup when it was the girl that never talked to them about any of the problems before hand.

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

Ok, I have never been in a relationship for that long. You asked for help so I'll give my 2 cents. If you want her back brush up on your c and f. Make her miss you because she will. And be super busy. Talk to her when you want but don't seem all upset about it. And don't talk to her TOO much because you will seem desperate. Also some chicks do things to gain control so this could be one of those times. Chicks are all about mind games.

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

And btw I never run after a girl and comfort her when she does the drama thing and runs off and crys. I just make sure I have a good time when shes gone. If thats wrong then I still have some stuff to learn.

 

[Vulpine]

Classic trolling.

"alphaace" posts that mush... all without a single "hard return". "Needs massive help" but doesn't reply once? Can't spell "happened" or "response" and doesn't know to how to use an apostrophe? If he had been seeing a chick for 5 years, that would mean he started dating her when he was 10.

Welcome to the ignore list.

 

[alphaace]

Classic trolling.

"alphaace" posts that mush... all without a single "hard return". "Needs massive help" but doesn't reply once? Can't spell "happened" or "response" and doesn't know to how to use an apostrophe? If he had been seeing a chick for 5 years, that would mean he started dating her when he was 10.

Welcome to the ignore list.

Well im so sorry I dont have enough spare time to spend all my time replying to threads with "hard returns". And I wasnt aware that perfect spelling and gammar was a requirement to care. We started dating freshman year of high school, and its now five years later, let me know when you find a 10 year old in highschool, and I'll get back to you. Its ignorant *******s like you that makes some people look bad, and I certianly dont want be getting into an online argument with a scrub that sits on this website 24/7 creticing other peoples problems. I havnt replyed because I never had time to, I have read all the post, and I appreciate everything people are saying.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Alpha, have you contacted her? I know you were surprised by her departure - did you just leave this alone!! And yeah, she was talking to dude for quite a while -- guaranteed!!!

 

[alphaace]

I have contacted her, we are actualy meet up to "talk" tomorrow. I know she has been talking to this other guy for awhile but im pretty sure they havnt done anything. She is one of those 5% that are actualy good and dont screw around.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Talk about what?

Don't kid yourself - if she has been having sex with you then it is highly likely she is geting done by others! What is to stop her from doing so?

 

[alphaace]

Nah, you don't understand dude, you might think you do, but you dont. She isnt like your typical girl most of these scrubs get. She one of those that actualy cares about herself and only does things with other people she loves. Both of our first times involving everything was with eachother. You might think otherwise, but its true.

 

[I Want To Be a Playa]

OK kid, you want to know why she left?? Don't ask her - it'll do you no good!! She is gone - face the fact!! You were putting your penis in her for five years - so you had a long run with her - she found a new penis and most likely had many more that you don;t know about!!!

She wasn't your wife so there was no committment - find another hor and just realize that you were the next pimp in line!!! Pimp hors - love your wife!!

thats pretty damn harsh, man. but i guess i agree more or less. you do need to let this one go, everyone has to let their first love go eventually, you're no different.

 

[alphaace]

Ok, the last couple of days she has been talking me to me, she has been initiating the conversations via text messages on phones or AIM. She keeps telling me that she is confused because shes not sure if she just made the biggest mistake of her life (breaking up with me), but at the same time she tells me that she doesnt know if she could date me again, or some type of variation of that. Today she talked to me on AIM and she said she did miss me a lot and she wanted to see me. She told me that today (march 15, would of been our 5 year anni) that she was so depressed at work her boss came over to talk to her, and she just started crying and had to go to the bathroom to fix herself up. She is coming up to my appartment (1h drive) on Sunday to just "hang out" as friends and see if anything happins. I know she hasnt done anything with this new guy she has been with for the past couple of weeks, so dont respond with **** like "oh, she just wanted to fvck another guy and shes just trying to get back with you to use you as a tool". She reiterated that this is "just as friends" and I shouldnt be getting any kind of false hopes about us. But shes also sending me mixed messages because she told me she actualy thought about commiting herself because she was so depressed, so im getting the impression that she wants to tell me that she screwed up but doesnt know how to tell me she wants to get back with me.

First, I want to know what you guys think about this.
And second, I want you guys to give me some advice about things I should do and say when she comes up.