I Need some major advice here

[Target_100]

I've gone out with a really good looking girl for about a month, we havent met that often, cause of my job.

She lived with a jerk/afc kombo guy when I met her, and she moved back to her parents because of me. They had lived togethger for two years and been together for three.

She tells me all the time how much she likes me etc etc. But her ex is obsessive about her, and she stills meets him a lot.

She says a lot of bull, such as when I first met her, she told her bf that she was out with friends etc. Always making excuses to avoid confrontation.

PROBLEM: We ordered a trip together cause I like to travel, even though I cant see myself in a LTR with her. The trip costed lots of $$$, and we didn't get cancelling insurance. All was going ok, but two days ago I was driving to her place to meet her, and when I got there she didn't answer the phone.

I waited for about 30 mins cause it had been quite a long drive. I text messaged her on her phone and wrote "whats going on?" And she replied "I'm coming soon". So I called her just after i got her message, and she didn't answer. I.E. she was with her ex.

So I waited five mins and wrote to her "I'm going back home now, take your ex or a girlfriend to the trip, and trancfer the $$$ back to my account. Don't call or text me".

I haven't talked to her yet, or heard from her. The trip is about four weeks.

WHAT TO DO? Help me out here guys! I really wanna go on the trip, even tho she is a bit wack. But if that can't happen then I need the $$$ back. If I call and she doesnt asnwer again then I seem like a total looser, so until I get some pointers from you i'll just wait.

 

[Dirtheart]

So I waited five mins and wrote to her "I'm going back home now, take your ex or a girlfriend to the trip, and trancfer the $$$ back to my account. Don't call or text me".

Good for you! Don't take this sh*t!

You have made your point, now it's her turn to apologise or explain. I'm sure most people here will echo the same advice: don't give in and call her! And if she calls you DO NOT apologise for what you said!

 

[Crank_It_Up]

hmm... so now she is gonna take her bf on the trip which you paid for... hey, that is brilliant, could you pay for my next vacation?

If I were you, I'd put my jealousy in the closet for a few weeks, and go on the trip with her myself. Have fun, take vitamins, and bang the living dogsh1t out of her... get your money's worth out of your trip. When you get back, tell her you had a great time, but don't call her again.

If she calls, tell her she's just not worth the drama that's involved with her ex, and to give you a call if and when she ever dumps him for good. Then politely say goodbye and go on about your life.

 

[Dirtheart]

Actually, I'd go with Crank it up's advice!

 

[diablo]

Hopefully you paid for it with your credit card - always pay for major purchases this way. Call the card company and ask that a chargeback be initiated. You'll have your money back, the trip will be cancelled, and she'll be out a free vacation.

 

[Trance]

Dont waste the ****ing trip! Go, and bang the living **** out of her. Bondage her, strech her ****ing **** until she's breaking apart, and when you come back NEXT!

 

[Target_100]

I wanna go on the trip with her! But I told her "Take your ex or a girlfriend and give me my cash back, and dont call or text message me."

I havent heard from her since.

Scenario 1:
We go on the trip together. (And then I dump her/be f.... friends etc)

Scenario 2: She goes with her ex/girlfirend, and I get my cash.

Scenario 3: She goes with her ex/girlfriend, and I never see the cash again.

I transfered the cash to her account, so I cant cancel it that way.

I know she likes me a lot, cause I have 100% more game than her ex, and he is clingy and calls all the time to get her back etc.


Now: How do I get her to go on the trip with me? Should I call or just wait and see what she does?

I am thinking of texting her saying "A girlfriend of mine wants your ticket, so she can just pay you for yours". This could make her want to go with me more, but also I could be stuck woth two tickets...

HELP!

 

[john]

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

this is what you get for making plans with a girl you've been with for ONE MONTH to go on a trip.

YOU DESERVE this bad treatment. your behaviour SCREAMS of "here, i am going to take you on this trip because i have no game, now PLEASE like me."

hopefully you dont get your money back and LEARN YOUR LESSON.

this is major AFC behaviour. very un-DJ.

 

[Target_100]

*I didn't pay for her*

I payed for my ticket, she payed for hers.

 

[Target_100]

Now, how do I get her to go with me?

 

[EternalBachelor]

This girl is extremely rude in not returning your calls or even attempting to get into contact with you. This means she has LOW interest level, or is screwed up.

Don't give her a free holiday. You paid for your own ticket right? Then go on the holiday without her and pick up some foreign chicks. It is much easier to get girls on holiday, and it will do you good to get her out of your system.

 

[Target_100]

Now she says that she wants to go alone (probably a lie), so I said ok, just give me my money back, and she said "No, thats your problem".

Shes more screwed up than I thought...

I'm gonna call her parents if I dont see the money. Luckily I know where they live...

Lesson learned for Target_100

 

[Target_100]

I just talked to her, and she seemed like she has *a lot* of personal issues.

I did the "I'm taking no bull****" policy on her, but she just texted me and said that she felt totally depressed and confused.

So I kind of wussed out and wrote "I know that you have a lot on your mind, just take your time. You can call me anytime you want if you want to talk."

She answered "Thanks, you're so nice!" (I know what this sounds like in girl language...)

I think the fact that she was in a relationship from she was 16 to 19, and lived with this guy for two years really got her mind off when it ended.

So i'm gonna give her some space to figure things out. If she wants to be with her ex, then fine! I actually know for sure that its she that looses on it. And if we end up going to europe together, then I'm gonna be nice and polite and dump her when we get back home.

But then again, tomorrow she might be a total freak again...

Anyway, I'm putting all my pride in getting the money back if things go bad.

 

[Dirtheart]

NOOOOO! You just got the inevitable guilt trip!

Maybe she does genuinely have big issues, but let me warn you that EVERY girl I've spoken up to and called on her bulls*it has used this exact "I have a lot of issues" excuse!

So there's me thinking death of a relative, serious illness, family troubles and I'd feel guilty, apologise, admit to being too harsh and offer her chance to talk about her issues (they never do) and generally act more AFC than usual until my dignity is gone.

Don't let it get to that. Just don't give her any more benefits of the doubt until she is willing to explain her behaviour.

Trust me, ignore your nice guy instincts on this. Despite what she is telling you, she probably respected you for standing up to her.

 

[Target_100]

I just need to go on the trip with her, after that I really dont give a d@mn. Right now I am kind of messed up because shes playing mind games with me.

But about her having issues, she broke it off with the only long term BF she has ever had, and shes only 19, so ther probably is something there too. And she is also a mental fruitcake apparently, which I saw signs of from the beginning, but was willing to go along with since she looks good.

Good thing I dont have any feelings for her...

 

[AFK Protector]

Originally posted by Target_100

Good thing I dont have any feelings for her...

LIES

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Taget_100

You deserve whatever misfortune befalls you for planning a future excursion with a hor!! Expect the worst case scenario as a normal occurrence when you a hor is your companion!!

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

You could file a lawsuit and take her to small claims court to get your money back.

 

[Befuddled]

Dude !
i can relate to you with this girl. it's amazing how often girls do what they want, and then later offer some kind of pvssy ass excuse and inevitably get us to turn into friggon pvssy-whipped-without-a-clue guys. I for one always question my tolerance for the kind of shyte im putting up with, and wonder if im going too far.
Well guess what guys, i hate to say it, but usually they are going too far. i have to say this... cause ive been going through it lately (personal dielema w/ this girl)....
if she does anything that seems to you overboard..... dont let it go, by convincing yourself its ok, and wasnt a big deal and try to scrap what you have left of a second-hand-relationship. if it's bothering you, it's doing so because of a reason....dont put up with it, and worse, dont sympathize with it.

She left you waiting while she was spending time with her ex/bf. (she could have been breaking up with him, you never know), but i guess you gotta thank her for putting you on hold eh ?

personally i think you went over board with the first message. you should have kept it simple "im leaving" or something to that effect and drove away.

The fact that she didnt get in touch with you immediately is quite a no brainer to me.

Three she has her entire life to figure out her complications....but guess what. you dont have to be a part of it.

If i were you....lay it on the line when you meet up. (dont ask me how cause ive never done it). keep seeing her if ur into her, if your not....get your money back and walk.

 

[Target_100]

Firstly, thanks for the replyes, its good to get others opinions.


If it wasent for the trip I could have just cut contact with her. Shes really not my type, but she has a great body and shes kind of cute.

I dont think I have any feelings for her, cause I dont feel jealous at all towards her ex.

I think what happened is this:


Her ex was a prick and a cry baby for three years, and now he found out hat she has met me, then he does all he can to get her back. And she wants to keep me on hold and wait to see what happens.

I noticed that she really believes that she could select to be with me or not, and not the other way around. I could have done more to get her to know that I am the selector, but I just didnt care.

If we go on the trip together, then thats a bonus and I'm gonna f*ck her p*ssy daily to make up for her messing with my mind. If we dont go, then I feel quite secure on getting the $$$ back.

Anyway, this has got me thinking a lot, and is probably a good lesson and valuable experience for me.