I met this girl a couple of years ago. The first year and a half she really digged me and occasionally told me she was in love with me. I never saw her like this and I was always honest. Just sex, fun and nothing else. After a while I didn’t want to hurt her any longer and I cut it off. It only took me a few months to realize that I actually did like her a lot and I came crawling back. This, I know, is never a strong move. She at that time was seeing another guy and that’s why I tried to take it slow. I worked on gaining back her trust for a few months and well, it worked. She stopped seeing the other guy and started seeing me more ofter very slowly. There still wasn’t any real intimacy or whatsoever but we kissed occasionally and we walked hand in hands now and then (manly, thanks). After 4 months, in a weak moment, I told her I liked her (I never use the word love or any of that stuff) and told her I wanted us to go for something serious. She told me that she didn’t knew, she liked me but she didn’t like me as much as she did once. She told me that our first 1,5 year made her lose her trust in me and well… She just didn’t knew. Usually I recognize these red flags from a far distance but this time I really saw jack ****. See, I fell in love with her and even though I always advice my friends to see things clearly, Im pretty sure I did not at the time.
2 months ago we went on a small unexpected holiday. On this vacation we (finally) slept with each other again and it all felt like we were in this perfection relationship. When we came back in our hometown we started to see each other more often again. The first time I made a move in bed she rejected me and told me she wasn’t ready for this. Me as a wannabe alpha male, became upset and told her I didn’t understand and that this was it for me then. I went home and prepared myself for a no contact period. But she just kept texting and calling me for the next days and me as the love blind alpha male I am, of course came back to her. I saw her a lot for the next month, we kissed, we touched, we went out for dinner… But no sex and to be totally honest I didn’t trying much.
Well, this for the intro. A few weeks ago I told her that I wanted to give it go now, that she had to decide whatever she wanted and that it was all fine by me. I gave her a few days (I am good in the not texting or calling her a lot, I may have giving her pressure with asking her to decide now and then but in normal contact I am pretty easy going) and went to see her next. She told me she couldn’t decide but didn’t want to lose me so she was willing to try and go for it. Well, the next two weeks were nothing like that since I didnt hear much from here and thats why I decided that it was a lost cause. When I told her this wasn’t what I expected she told me she understood and that it’s hard for her. The next few days we hang out a few times and it actually was real fun. Two days ago we sat down in this small coffeehouse and well the subject came up (she started it). She talked about not letting me in and that she hates it because she think she likes me. Bla die bla bla. Well this conversation went on and after a while I told her, very firm, that I am not going to proceed in this whatever this is when she just keeps telling me that she cannot make up her mind and doubts everything.
The next day, I went to see her and I asked her to be clear. I told her I didn’t ask for a relationship straight away but I wanted her to make up her mind. She kept saying that she doubts everything, she doesn’t know she’s ready for a real relationship right now (major red flag) and she doesn’t know how she really feels about me (majorest red flag ever). She is scared of making the wrong decision and by doing so losing me. But, since I told her I would like an straight answer she knew she had to choose. She then told me ,totally unexpected, that she didn’t want to lose me so she would once again (and this time for real) try to give it a shot.
Well DJ’s, here I am doubting everything she said but still… She chose to give it a try. Should I ignore al those red flags and try this as well or should I realize that its just never going to happen the way I want to and things are over? She just keeps giving me signals of a no go and signals of a go (a woman, i know) but since I might suspect that I am a bit blindsided I would really really much like your DJ’s advice right now. Thanks in advance
2 months ago we went on a small unexpected holiday. On this vacation we (finally) slept with each other again and it all felt like we were in this perfection relationship. When we came back in our hometown we started to see each other more often again. The first time I made a move in bed she rejected me and told me she wasn’t ready for this. Me as a wannabe alpha male, became upset and told her I didn’t understand and that this was it for me then. I went home and prepared myself for a no contact period. But she just kept texting and calling me for the next days and me as the love blind alpha male I am, of course came back to her. I saw her a lot for the next month, we kissed, we touched, we went out for dinner… But no sex and to be totally honest I didn’t trying much.
Well, this for the intro. A few weeks ago I told her that I wanted to give it go now, that she had to decide whatever she wanted and that it was all fine by me. I gave her a few days (I am good in the not texting or calling her a lot, I may have giving her pressure with asking her to decide now and then but in normal contact I am pretty easy going) and went to see her next. She told me she couldn’t decide but didn’t want to lose me so she was willing to try and go for it. Well, the next two weeks were nothing like that since I didnt hear much from here and thats why I decided that it was a lost cause. When I told her this wasn’t what I expected she told me she understood and that it’s hard for her. The next few days we hang out a few times and it actually was real fun. Two days ago we sat down in this small coffeehouse and well the subject came up (she started it). She talked about not letting me in and that she hates it because she think she likes me. Bla die bla bla. Well this conversation went on and after a while I told her, very firm, that I am not going to proceed in this whatever this is when she just keeps telling me that she cannot make up her mind and doubts everything.
The next day, I went to see her and I asked her to be clear. I told her I didn’t ask for a relationship straight away but I wanted her to make up her mind. She kept saying that she doubts everything, she doesn’t know she’s ready for a real relationship right now (major red flag) and she doesn’t know how she really feels about me (majorest red flag ever). She is scared of making the wrong decision and by doing so losing me. But, since I told her I would like an straight answer she knew she had to choose. She then told me ,totally unexpected, that she didn’t want to lose me so she would once again (and this time for real) try to give it a shot.
Well DJ’s, here I am doubting everything she said but still… She chose to give it a try. Should I ignore al those red flags and try this as well or should I realize that its just never going to happen the way I want to and things are over? She just keeps giving me signals of a no go and signals of a go (a woman, i know) but since I might suspect that I am a bit blindsided I would really really much like your DJ’s advice right now. Thanks in advance
