I need some advice on sex...

[hellfire45]

So I am 20. I have this GF and we waited a month before having sex. I think this was the right thing to do because we formed the necessary bond, but thats not the issue here.

The issue is that this girl tells me that shes never had an orgasm. I dont know why this is but after a month of dating, I lost my virginity to this girl. She tells me she likes it as deep as it'll go, hard and as fast as possible. Apparently the deep aspect is good cause she tells me that I'm the biggest guy shes ever had sex with. I'd say im slightly above average. Now I want to give her an orgasm, I mean this is a caring relationship and if I am going to enjoy myself trying to give her one so she can enjoy herself, then I think I should concentrate on that. However, having only had sex 4 times to date....its pretty freaking hard to go for honestly a max of 2 minutes as hard, deep and fast as possible. Not to mention the girl is pretty tight. I finger her with 1 finger when I'm warming her up. Maybe that is or is not reasonable but for somebody who is basically a virgin or a 1st timer, I think it's probably normal.

Some of you might recommend oral sex but 1) she thinks oral sex is disgusting. Shes a bisexual and she tells me that shes never given or recieved it from a girl and that its really gross. I went down on her the other night just cause again, I'd never done it and I must say that I agree. It's not pleasant, and we had just showered. I dont see myself doing that. 2) I'm not sure how deep and fast I can get with my tongue.

So any tips on how I can "jackhammer" her for longer periods of time, since it seems thats what she likes.

 

[Social_disturbance]

You need more foreplay and teasing.

Try a good amount of kissing and necking before you go down on her. Bring your lips close to her pvssy so she can anticipate it...and then take it away...
Rub your hands up and down both sides of her inner thighs kinda hard while kissing/licking under her navel--Do this for a while, or until she is thrusting herself up into you, and then do it more before you start eating her out...

That and just try to last longer...PC exercises help for that.

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

2) I'm not sure how deep and fast I can get with my tongue.

Brother, you need to read up on oral. Cunnalingus is NOT about penetrating with your tounge. It's about giving attention to the outside of the vag with MAYBE a finger inside.

 

[hellfire45]

The thing is she doesnt like to be eaten out simply because she doesn't like to give oral and she doesnt want to make me do that. Frankly, I don't really want to do it either.

I guess I'll work on those Kegel's. How long does it take, if done properly, before you can hold back an ejaculation and keep going with an erection? That seems like the goal here.

 

[hellfire45]

I definately am new to most of this stuff, so yes, I need to read up on it.

 

[Jariel]

Search the board for sex tips and check google for diagrams. I don't mean this in an insulting way, but it sounds like you have a lot to learn. We all have to learn somewhere, so do some reading and then get practising. Having a regular partner/girlfriend is an ideal chance to perfect your techniques.

You don't need to perform oral, but you should be playing with her, teasing her and drawing out the foreplay. Some women find it hard to orgasm from sex, some never do, so spend some time on her cl!toris.

As for lasting longer, try one of these:

1. Think of other things or count backwards from 50 during sex.
2. Jack off before you meet your girlfriend.
3. Get some de-sensitizing cream or condoms.

And don't worry, I was clueless my first times too. Guys who boast about being super studs their first time are usually lying.

 

[hellfire45]

yea thanks. I mean I have only been a non-virgin a week heh. I mean we had sex 4 times this week so it's pretty frequent but still I dont know anything about it.

 

[R5D2]

As for giving her an orgasm, I've had 2 LTR's where I've been having sex regularly (4-5 per week) and it was very rare that I didn't give the girl an orgasm. It helped that the previous relationship I didn't have sex with the girl but did everything else (and learnt how to make a girl orgasm with my hands).

The best way to do it is to get the girl in the right mood. I'm was quite lucky with my ex, as she was very horny, but I imagine most girls are like that - they just need to be unleashed. To do this you need to put ideas into her head first, foreplay starts hours before when you tell her what you are going to do to her. Implant that image early and she'll be wet before you see her. Next you've got to focus all attention on her - I find that kissing around the neck and behind the ears works wonders. The trick here is to really turn her on before you even start removing clothes. Lots of rubbing and fondling with the clothes on, you will be able to tell she likes it because she will try and undress you - but don't let her do that yet.

When you are sure she is dripping, you can remove her pants - but keep your focus on her top half i.e. lots of kissing around the face/neck and upper body. Talking dirty at this point can work with some girls, but I struggle to do 2 things at once so don't usually bother. You should be able to feel how wet she is through her panties - if not you've got more work to do. Lots of teasing, stroking, rubbing (I won't go into extreme details as you can prob find it in other posts).

Slowly you can work the panties down and continue to rub her and stroke her ***** - but keep kissing her top half still. You are trying to be as intimate as possible here, focusing all of your attention on her, without putting pressure on her by telling her you're trying to make her come - actions are better than words.

Once she is really wet, you should slide a finger or two inside - practice this with her often. I find the best method is to act like you're ****ing her, but if you curl your finger/s up towards her abdomen and make a "come here" motion with them you will stroke her wall where the g-spot is located. Once you have the rhythm here, don't change it. It will take a while and your arm will get tired. But eventually she'll have one of the bets orgasms she has ever had.

Then you can place her on all fours and ride her senseless - do whatever you want to do! I usually make a joke of it by saying "my turn now" - but it depends whether the girl has a sense of humour. If you've done it properly then you may have to wait a minute or 2 for her to come down off her orgasm high.

As far as lasting longer goes, don't worry too much about it, you've only just started having sex so it's still a novelty and you won't last long. Follow the tips above to last longer in bed, but you can 'train' yourself whilst masturbating by stopping just before ejaculating. If you can do this when you're in the sack then you can last all night. This is also a great way to have a great orgasm yourself, so everybody wins!

(let me know if this post is any good - 2nd post :S)

 

[hellfire45]

your post was amazing. thanks!

By stopping myself while masturbating, you mean hold it back using the PC muscles right?

Have the orgasm restrain the ejaculation?

 

[R5D2]

Yeah, PC ( I assume it means Penis Control - am DJ under training :-\). It takes some practice, but can't think of why you wouldn't want to .

Let me know how you get on! Good luck!

 

[wayword]

Going hard, fast & deep into a tight cooter...is a good way to make yourself cvm fast, lol.

But I assume you're going bareback? If so, then you can wear a condom instead and that will slow you down considerably...

 

[squirrels]

1) How can she be bisexual if she's never gone down on a girl?
2) Why is it nasty down there? Does she not wash right? Is she fat?
3) Some women mindfvck themselves so that they're not able to have an orgasm unless there's a significant emotional connection.

As for advice...um, try different angles, ones that hit the G-spot as you're banging her. Also might want to consider bringing toys into the equation. We've already covered oral.

Going longer is a psychological thing, usually. I know when I've had a few drinks I usually last longer. You could get some Levitra or Viagra, too.