I need like an intervention: Sort-of Oneitis problems.

Egoist

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Ergh, here we go again.

Just to have the proper all the proper disclosures, I don't have any real problems with women currently, other than this chick. Couple of FBs, overall pretty successful with women, everything else in life in check, and so on. I literally have girls texting me asking me to come fvck them - no strings attached.

And then there is this ongoing fvcked up "she is so different" pseudo-oneitis girl.

She works for/with me, but i rarely see her, sometimes weekly, sometimes once every couple weeks. She is exactly my type, and the kind of a girl most of you guys would approve of, feminine in a way a girl should be, without too much drama, etc. Not american-born so kind of old school "wants an alpha male" type. Shares very little bad habits/expectations with a typical american girl. Cons - has a boyfriend in a really messed up relationship, but is basically looking for a way out.

So basically, no matter how I try to avoid interaction with her, every time we run into each other its like BOOM, and we can't stop talking/flirting/etc. I told myself about a million times: "I am not going to deal with her, I am going to avoid long interactions with her, I'll just try to be professional and courteous with her". Yeah, right. Like last night, we spent about 3 hours fvcking talking. I mean started talking at work and I basically ended up taking her out to a cafe to spend time. I even blew off a sure fvck for her and got my FB mad.. And because I choose not to actively pursue her at the same time, I feel like my balls are in a cage for the duration. FVCK. When she was leaving, I basically wanted to just fvck her right there, to tell her that she's beautiful, etc. And worst of all, I can tell that she wants to be stolen away by someone real, that she really likes me, and is just as confused by the situation as I am. For me its the work/boyfriend thing, for her its the "boyfriend sucks, other guy better, but have a home with boyfriend" thing. We are both waiting for something to accelerate, but the tension is beyond unbearable. We are at a point where too much has been said, not enough has been done. No friendzone here either folks, and we both know its all or nothing.

And my DJ frame is kinda fvcking me up as well. Its almost like now I am afraid to admit that I actually like a girl and can desire to be in a good relationship, at least for a while. Its like the fvcking boogieman "oooh, possible relationship, possible feelings, run, hide, bad, bad, GFTOW"

So basically I am really pissed at myself for even being in this situation, but the truth is I really like this chick despite everything and probably will regret not hooking up with her in the long run. And I am really pissed off at myself for effectively locking the sexual male part of me in a cage when she is around me so not to be inappropriate or something, even though I am 99% sure she wants me to be be aggresive and sensual with her. And the more this goes on, the more messed up it becomes.

Seriously guys, I know I am handling this really bad. Feel free to flame but be gentle. I know I should know better. I know you are going to tell me how stupid and retarded and AFC I am in this situation. I know I am not following the principles too well. I know I shouldn't even be in this predicament to begin with. But **** happens and here I am.

How do you think I should proceed?
 

NewMan

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Your working with her - it is a very bad idea to fvck girls you work with.

having read that and discarded the wisdom of that very statement...

What you don't want to be is the guy that's saving her = Captn Save a ho.
She has a BF, is in a Fvcked relationship, yet doesn't have the strength of character to get out. Even more so, she is at least emotionally cheating on her current man - possibly man if you pushed it - who knows? - but what goes around, comes around - and she'll be more than capable to do the same thing to you.

Now I'm not MR. Moral's here. I've cheated. I've fvcked married women. Not proud of it, but I've done it. But I've never got into a relationship with someone whoose cheated on their guy with me. That for me is a no no. I'll fvck them, but I won't buy them. It's asking for trouble in my opinion - not saying there are not exceptions to the rule.

Finally - when your in a fvcked up relationship - it so easy to look over the fence to see the lush green grass.... But when you make the jump, the grass is never so green.
 

Egoist

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true on all that man, but if it goes anywhere, I am actually not afraid of her cheating on me - I am kinda at a stage where I would know/see probably way before..

I am just really annoyed by the situation. we're like two fvcking 15 year olds..


But yeah, last thing I'll do is play Captain save-a-ho, not my style AT ALL. I mean sure, i will do something if she is hurt or something bad happens, but thats it. There is absolutely no whining or complaining when she is with me, so its not like I am an emotional tampon to her either.

BUT SHE IS DEFINITELY EMOTIONALLY CHEATING ON HER B/F WITH ME.

i just don't really look at it as cheating..
 

Wyldfire

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Go read this thread I started earlier today...I think it might help you understand what's happening to you and why this girl has this power over you. Once you know the source it will be much easier for you to resist having feelings for her.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=97881
 

Egoist

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Wyldfire said:
Go read this thread I started earlier today...I think it might help you understand what's happening to you and why this girl has this power over you. Once you know the source it will be much easier for you to resist having feelings for her.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=97881

I don't really get your point.

I know I am not in love with her, nor would I expect to be in love with her.

I just really like her. It would be an infatuation if I didn't have some control over it, but otherwise, its just a manageable attraction?

I could really walk away, I just actually enjoy playing the game a little bit..
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

MacAvoy

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I was going to offer advice to tell you to pull your socks up and make a move until I read this

Egoist said:
She is exactly my type ...has a boyfriend
Everyone here basically will tell you to never enter a relationship with a girl that cheated on her b/f with you.

Use some NLP, make a trigger, think of her of a dirty skanky leper so that you don't flirt with her next time you see her. Its that simple.
 
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