I need help

[PrinceAli]

Hey guys, I'm in bad shape right now and I'm hoping that maybe you can help me out. Heres my story. Me and my girl (well ex-gf now) had been together for 3 1/2 years. Her name is Kelly and shes 20 years old (same age as me) hot, blonde, great body, great personality, everything I liked in a girl. We met when we were 16 and were together ever since then, we had a great relationship. I was good to her and she was real good to me, she didn't act like the typical stupid, immature teenage girl. She was one of those girls you would call a giver not a taker. We had our ups and downs but we always got through it and everything was good. We were one of those couples that people would always say things like "theyre so cute together" or "you guys are going to end up married one day" and all that kind of sh*t lol. Plus she was obsessed with me, so I guess you could say her interest level was always very high.

Well to make the long story short, this past June some other guy started talking to her, and me being the carefree guy I am, I didn't think nothing of it. I just figured he was just a friend or whatever, plus other guys had tried to steal her from me before and it never worked. But this time he did manage to steal her from me and she broke up with me this past June. I was a mess, I was really hurt and pissed the fu*k off. I cut off contacts with her and just tried to do as much stuff as possible to get my mind off it. Well I guess they're relationship didn't last much more than 3 weeks because she said she realized she still wanted me and she realized how much better I was so she broke up with that guy. I got an Email from her explaining what happened and some other bs. Well I did play it cool for a bit I was like well I'm busy, I've got other things going on and I'm seeing other girls and I can't take you back after what you did to me.

She felt really bad about what she did and she said she wanted to make things right and for us to be good again. I ended up hanging out with her a little bit and I fu*ked her a couple times. But I was still really pissed off about everything and everytime I hung out with her or talked to her on the phone it ended with me getting mad and about what happened and us getting in a fight. So basically this whole past month everytime we talked I ended up getting really mad and yelling at her. I think she got really turned off by that and now she says "Im done, I give up, I fu*ked up too bad and I can't make it up to you" and she doesnt want to talk anymore.

I haven't talked to her in almost a week and honestly, I'm not doin so good. I'm normally a strong person emotionally but when it comes to this, I'm a mess. I just feel so down and depressed, its the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. I'm trying to keep myself busy with hanging out with my friends, playing hockey, working out, etc. but even when I do those things I still think about it. Even when I try to pretend like Im happy and smile people can still tell that Im sad. I had met this one little hottie recently and I got her # and went out with her but that didn't really work out. Im just too depressed right now and I'm not the normal me. Do you think theres any hope with me and my ex maybe later down the line, like if I dont talk to her for 4-5 months after we've cooled down and then contact her? Or should I just give up hope completely? I'm trying to move on, it's just really hard

I'm not looking for any sympathy from anyone I'm just looking for some advice or tips on what to do. Maybe if someone else has gone through something similar you can help me out. I'd appreicate it.

 

[Kings_royalty]

she said she realized she still wanted me and she realized how much better I was so she broke up with that guy.

After a 3 1/2 year relationship, she should of known that already. There is more to the story than what she told you, don't believe her.

I bet she wanted a little 'strange', so she broke your heart just to get it.


She felt really bad about what she did and she said she wanted to make things right and for us to be good again.

If she was still with this guy, she wouldn't of given two $hits about you bro, don't fall for this sob story. She probably cried too huh, just to pull at your heart strings.

I cut off contacts with her and just tried to do as much stuff as possible to get my mind off it.

Excellent, this is exactly what you should be doing now. If you got over it once, you can do it again. Do all the things you did before to get passed it bro.

I ended up hanging out with her a little bit and I fu*ked her a couple times.

Bad move, you were doing great by cutting off contact with her. Why did you go do that for?

Do you think theres any hope with me and my ex like maybe later down the line,

With all the pain you are feeling over this girl, 'why' would you want to put yourself in that position again? Use it as a learning experience and move on the best way you can.

 

[BluEyes]

Next her.

I know it's different because you guys have been going out for a long time...But she did it once, she'll do it again. Besides, everybody should experience a tough break-up once, that way when it happens again, you'll be ready for it.

If you ever do get back together, things won't be the same. Use what you learned in the 3 year relationship and find another girl.

 

[flexion_]

Well the relationship is over. When you figure this out it is really up to you.

 

[PrinceAli]

Thanks guys. I know I need to move on its just so hard. She was my first love and we were together for 3 1/2 years, and honestly, she was an amazing gf to me for those 3 1/2 years (up until she left me for another guy in the end) Do you think since she just turned 20 she's going through that phase that girls seem to go through where they want to have freedom and have fun being single in college and all that other sh*t...

I swear this feels like the hardest thing I've ever gone through in my entire life, it's the first thing I think about when I wake up, when I try to do other things during the day it's still on my mind, and its there when I go to sleep at night. The pain just doesn't go away.

Another thing that really fu*ks with my head is thinking about her hooking up/fu*king other guys. Any advice as to how to not think about that kind of stuff or how to not let it bother you?
I know I should be out there getting new girls but I feel like I'm so down and depressed right now and they'll be able to sense that, I guess I'm going to have to try anyway though.

 

[Phyzzle]

she just turned 20 shes going through that phase that girls seem to go through

You got that right. I remeber turning 25, looking back and remembering when I was 20. Man, it's like reading some wierd book about some total freak who was nothing like me.

Rest assured: no relationship that starts between teenagers ever lasts. It would be shocking if you stayed together.

The pain just doesn't go away.

It will.

Another thing that really fu*ks with my head is thinking about her hooking up/fu*king other guys. Any advice as to how to not think about that kind of stuff or how to not let it bother you?

Sometimes, I calculate how much money I spent on my last gf. Subtract how much she spent on me. Was it cheaper than going to a prostitute all of those nights?

If so, I came out ahead! It's sick, but it helps me.

 

[DJBaron]

i'm pretty new to this forum, but I'll tell you from my experience dating girls when your in high school is just dating girls for fun. When they hit about that age 20 a new element enters their mind and they want to explore. I don't think there is much you can do in most cases except don't date girls seriously when your in high school or date older girls if you can

Its hard but throw this girl out of your mind i'd recommend spicing up your own life a bit doing things you don't normally do so you feel some new sensations. What works for me is to turn the girl into a dog in my mind. How could she have done that to you? She is such a flake throwing away a solid relationship to some guy who just wanted a bang... Doesn't sound like a girl good enough for you!

 

[Soapz]

Man Prince...

I could feel your pain as I was reading that...made my heart heavy.

Hope you lift yourself out, but don't worry, I'm confident that time will heal your broken heart. In fact, it would be WIERD if you didn't feel depressed after going through that.

I can offer you nothing but my blessings, and this cute little emoticon: :flowers:

g'luck

 

[Kings_royalty]

Do you think since she just turned 20 she's going through that phase that girls seem to go through where they want to have freedom and have fun being single in college and all that other sh*t...


Yup, and it happens to guys too, so get out there and have some fun.

I swear this feels like the hardest thing I've ever gone through in my entire life, it's the first thing I think about when I wake up, when I try to do other things during the day it's still on my mind, and its there when I go to sleep at night. The pain just doesn't go away.


It's not the hardest thing you'll ever go through and it won't be the last time bro, get over it. :cuss:

Another thing that really fu*ks with my head is thinking about her hooking up/fu*king other guys.

Here is an idea, STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.

Any advice as to how to not think about that kind of stuff or how to not let it bother you?


I would go with DJBaron's advice on this, he makes a great point.

 

[MightyMate]

I would neve comeback to girl which dumped me for other guy.

 

[nighter]

I feel your pain also. actaully iam going through same thing as you right now.
I ended my first LTR ever with a girl 1 month ago. She was a real player, managed 1 another relationship also at the same time, when she where together with me, so good at it, and with a stoneface that i did not suspect anything. I constantly have to remind me, that she was not a normal girl. She was suffering from a borderline disorder.

 

[MrS]

Your post shows that you have character, and have the right attitude.
What you do wrong, though, is give in to her a bit. Don't do that.

Kings royalty is nailing the advice, though, so I don't ahve much to say.