i need help in life and i need it now or else

[Triple X]

Re: Re: i need help in life and i need it now or else

Originally posted by JonJack
It seems as if you expect your fiance to be faithful, to be loyal, to be subservient, to be dedicated to you and you alone. If any of these expectations would to be denied, you are thrown into a frenzy where control and reason flies out the window. You are probably aware that it isn't a good or nice to react in such a manner, but the emotions are too great and they get in the way and take control.

Oh sh*t I just noticed this bit.

DAMN RIGHT he should expect her to be faithful to him - this is his FIANCE FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!!!

 

[belividere]

Solid advice given here so far. I think you could get some interesting insight if you posted your story on the mature mens forum. Whats the background with your relationship?

 

[gambit21680]

sorry to be alittle bit off topic but i also do play video games alot and i can see how it is hurting my life and her do you think i should stop playing video games and get into other hobbies?

 

[dietzcoi]

You better not marry her!!

Why would you even consider this?!?!?

Listen to PR_L, he has not led a single person astray on this board, unlike a lot of the die hard chump posters....

Don't do it. I don't care if you play video games, you will be the chump of all chumps if you marry this woman!

What is God's name are you thinking?!?!

Dietzcoi

 

[GrimPhallic]

Whats up Gambit.
So you KNOW this girl typed those words to another guy? That is insane dood I feel bad for you. I have been ingaged and I know what it is like to leave that person. I am no Master DJ but I have been through a lot of **** - that is why I trained myself to change into what this site suggests, a DJ. I have been through leaving my Fiance I wont lie to you, it is hard. But dood you have to do it, she totally cheated on you with words. Make no excuses, break it all off, and when she asks you why, tell her why. Tell her you saw what she said to her x, and tell her you are better than that and you dont date and sure as fvck dont marry *****s. Dood trust me I was like you, and it takes some sh!t like this to make you into a DJ. The results will be depression, but all the free time will allow you to hit the gym, go to bars, parties, make new friends, etc. The main thing with this is, durring your time alone and single, read the DJ bible, go through bootcamp (change yourself into a real DJ), and work out hard to get a great body. After this everyone in here can tell you that you will meet many women, some better and some worse. Point being life will be 10 times better for you and eventually as your personality changes and you find your true self, you will also find a girl that fits you perfectly. NEXT THAT B!TCH.

 

[Jus_LikeCandy]

Hon, I think before you get married to anyone you need to deal with your trust issues.

You obviously are not ready to be settled down to anyone. Before making such a big move as marriage, get things in your life together. It is kind of scary that you thought about harming her or yourself.

I honestly don't think you are ready in my opinion and she is not either. This is a big commitment and you two should talk it out before you make that plunge.

Maybe a shrink isn't such a bad idea.

And, for your girlfriend, there is no reason in the world why she should be talking to her ex. Joking or not joking, that is the highest level of disrepect. You need to talk it out with her and lay it on the line. I find it hard to believe this was a joke.

Talk to your girl, put your foot down and take charge.

 

[Jay-X]

i have to disagree with some of the things you guys said...

here's my thought:

ok, you caught her writing that dirty stuff to her ex. so what? i've been in a long term relationship for almost a year now and i constantly SMS with other chicks promising them sex and stuff. does this mean that i'm going to cheat on my girlfriend?! no. i DO love her as nobody else in the world (although she once cheated on me) and i know she's madly in love with me. sh1t, i even keep those SMSes in my mobile and she fùckin knows! sometimes, she gets a bit angry, but i know it's not her not trusting me, but just an excuse to be cuddled more... anyway, what i mean is, probably your girl was just joking around. it does not mean she's going to have sex with him. if you really love her, DO NOT leave her until you have certain proofs of her guilt. i tell you, if you leave her while still in love, it's going to hurt. i know how it is when you can't trust your girlfriend (i was into a similar situation some months ago and i was on the edge of suicide), but it's going to pass. i strongly recommend that you stay with her for at least another 2 weeks. if you still feel this bad, leave her. not before 2 weeks, please.

i'm not telling you she won't cheat, i'm saying that writing that stuff does not mean she will.

you don't need any psychological help... you do not have mental issues, just normal issues.


just my opinion


see ya

 

[Jus_LikeCandy]

Jay-X, you are 17 years old. Of course youngsters do those things. Once you reach the adult world, that is unacceptable.

They aren't children, they are grown adults and his girlfriend should know to draw the line.

 

[Lost In Translation]

DO NOT MARRY HER !

she is already cheating on you IN HER HEART and IN HER MIND

she is a wh0re

what would an honourable man do if he found out his future wife was a wh0re ?

NOT MARRY HER

be a man. stand up for yourself. don't settle for being BETRAYED like this by a wh0re.

PR_L is right. it is hard for alot of people to see this but it will cost you YOUR LIFE.


Lost In Translation

 

[Jus_LikeCandy]

Okay, I don't think he should marry her either, but, jeez guys...this is his fiance you are talking about. He must love and care for her and ya'll are calling her a wh0re!!!! Be nice.

 

[Lost In Translation]

true she is an honest faithful caring and trustworthy young lady


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[djbr]

I'm with PuertoRican_Lover here.

Really simple dude. WHY do you think you're expecting too much? Women LOVE to deliver this line to us. Including your mamma. (mine did! )

I had so many painful experiences in my past, let me share something with you: YOUR LIFE IS YOURS. You can just have WHATEVER expectiation about ANYTHING. It's YOUR CHOICE. NO ONE IS ABLE TO TALK ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

End of story.

Your gut tells you what you need to know. To make things even brighter to you, PuertoRican_Lover said it perfectly.

From now on, it's your choice. But for the love of god, LISTEN TO US. We all DO NOT want to hear about you divorcing this woman LATER. Break it up NOW.

DO IT.

 

[coder]

You're not mature enough to get married and she is not committed to you. That was not joking, it was flirting. Do you think things magically get better when you get married? They don't. They get harder. You need to become comfortable with yourself before you marry another and you need to marry someone who doesn't offer sex to other guys. She wants another guys d!ck in her mouth! You're going to marry that? You need to become your own man. You need to have friends. You need to know that there are plenty of other women who would date you. (There are if you would stop being a needy wussy boy.)

Have you said anything at all to her about this "joke"? If she knows that you know about it, she has absolutely no respect for you and you really shouldn't marry someone who doesn't respect you.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

jon jack, your post sounds very 8 fold path-like.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with blaming others for the problems that they cause you.

The HO is the problem!!!

Expectation-- I struggle with this... I consider myself to be a negatice optimist. Meaning, I always expect bad things to happen, but have hope that things will work out.

People in relationships should expect their partner to be loyal, or treat them a certaint way. At the same time you have to demand this treatment.

I understand what you are saying, but everyone cant exist on your isolated island where people do not effect them. We should all strive to be "real". A cheating partner does make me feel, bad, hurt, and angry. One must reconcile these emotions: why am I angry, mad, sad, hurt. She cheated because she sucks as a person. I'm untrusting because of what happened in the past. These particular actions make me jealous. If your into the LTR thing you should tell your partner when her actions are inappropriate, or that certain things make you jealous.

Gambit dont blame yourself. DUMP the girl and move one, it might not be easy, but its the wise thing to do.

 

[cremdela]

Kill yourself

Don't kill her and yourself, just kill yourself. Sounds to me like you have lost your friends because you are not fun? A chick you use to date cheated on you? You think you suffer paranoia?

I guess just listen to PRL because he has all the answers, but, just to play devils advocate. She jokes around a lot? You have no friends at all? You want to kill her and yourself?

My humble advice would be to go to hospital immediately and be tested for whatever personality disorder it is you suffer from. Reading between the lines, especially your last sentence, you have been to therapy before right? Well, go back.

Now, advice regarding the girl? All depends on your deluded state of mind, would be interesting to hear it from her perspective. Wonder if she has thought of killing you? No, probably not.

Well done again PRL, cut right to core, ignored the obvious depressed state of this unstable dude and blamed his girl, called her a hoe. Yep, you should be a crisis councellor. As I said dude, just when you do decide to kill her and yourself, do YOU first okay! That way she can find a normal man to respect and hang with. OR...Get back on the prescription medicine you are refusing to tell us about.

 

[JonJack]

Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
jon jack, your post sounds very 8 fold path-like.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with blaming others for the problems that they cause you.

The HO is the problem!!!

Expectation-- I struggle with this... I consider myself to be a negatice optimist. Meaning, I always expect bad things to happen, but have hope that things will work out.

People in relationships should expect their partner to be loyal, or treat them a certaint way. At the same time you have to demand this treatment.

I understand what you are saying, but everyone cant exist on your isolated island where people do not effect them. We should all strive to be "real". A cheating partner does make me feel, bad, hurt, and angry. One must reconcile these emotions: why am I angry, mad, sad, hurt. She cheated because she sucks as a person. I'm untrusting because of what happened in the past. These particular actions make me jealous. If your into the LTR thing you should tell your partner when her actions are inappropriate, or that certain things make you jealous.

Gambit dont blame yourself. DUMP the girl and move one, it might not be easy, but its the wise thing to do.

There is technically nothing wrong with blaming others. The issue here is whether a person is fine with blaming others all the time or do they want it so that they don't feel the need to blame because they understand the situation.

I look at the outcome, and it'll probably be the same if he blames her or if he doesn't blame her. Either way, some things just don't work out. Why even blame? Why is there a need to blame? If there is a need because it makes you feel better, then that's good. But if you hate the fact that you constantly feel this way whenever this sort of shyt happens, then wouldn't you as a person be living a miserable life if you continue to just blame and blame.

I do not like the word expect. Hope is a much better word, like what you've mentioned. When you're with a person, they do not just magically become faithful and have eyes only for you. They can always be led astray. But you hope that they don't. You don't expect it because to expect it is to say to yourself that it will never happen in a million years. If your hopes are dashed, then there is no hope and you'll have to move on. You feel hurt and lousy, but then you understand the situation for what it is and you move on to the next one not feeling like crap.

And I don't really agree with your last sentence. From what I've learned, if one doesn't blame one's self, one will never learn and make the best of the situation.

 

[belividere]

Alright is it just me or did anyone notice the last thread that the OP posted after all of our "meaningful" discussion.

sorry to be alittle bit off topic but i also do play video games alot and i can see how it is hurting my life and her do you think i should stop playing video games and get into other hobbies?

What is the point of pyschoanalyzing trolls?

 

[BigWillyStyle]

Your soon to be wife is on the net chatting to an ex about waiting for him to come home so she can fvck and suck him off?! Jesus. This kunt doesn't think much of you, dude. Never let a kunt off disrespecting you, what makes it worse is you're engaged to this "woman" and I use that term losely. Talk it out with her. If you can't trust her anymore, then there is no point in continuing this charade of a relationship.

 

[Double]

i always love to read LIT and PRL you guys crack me up death penalty for jonjack for giving out weak advice ROFL.....other then that 100% true advice. it will cost you your life isnt even exaggerated. either you will kill yourself because she cheats, or she will divorce your azz and you will pay for her and her hor kids all life long, or both

 

[Sugarfoot]

face it, the only reason you're still with her is because you think you can't get anyone else. otherwise, you would've dumped that hore in a heartbeat.

Is she younger than you? how long have you two been going out / been engaged?


TOOTLES™