I need alcohol to get girls. Without it, I'm a loser. What should I do?

[MrJibbles]

I have realized that I need alcohol not just to socialize at parties, but to get girls in general. If I am not buzzed or drunk, I am a socially-awkward, socially-anxious, boring, neurotic, depressed pissed-off withdrawn introvert. When I've had a few drinks though, I become the life of the party. I start talking to everybody, hit on girls, and become a manic, ultra-confident sleazebag player. I will admit, I have a drinking problem. I promised to quit drinking for a month, then got back into it a few days before Christmas.

Since then, I have gotten drunk at parties every night until today. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I have bipolar disorder. My cousin told me that a party a couple nights ago, I started throwing the cards from my wallet around the room, pushed my female cousin really hard across the room, started walking in out of one room over and over again and was talking really fast to myself... Later I hit on my cousin's friend and basically made her fall in love me. I would never been able to accomplish that If I wasn't drunk.

About a week ago, I was lonely, miserable and mad at myself because I had trouble holding conversations with people and couldn't get myself to go out and get girls. Now that I have been drunk a lot though and gained confidence because of it, I can easily seduce girls. I know of at least four girls who are in love with me now. But now that I am sober, I have no idea how to talk to girls.

I am just wondering, am I the only person who NEEDS booze to talk to girls? How can I quit drinking if I need it to get female attention? My personality is boring without it. I like being a high-energy extrovert. It's the only way for me to be the player I want to become. It's the only way for me to be charming to people and make friends.

 

[shizz702]

Nothing wrong with having a few drinks but relying on a buzz is a problem.

Do you work out at all?

If not my first suggestion would be to get in the gym and put some muscle on, that will help with confidence.

 

[Jariel]

Be very careful! Whenever you need alcohol to feel your best, you're in dangerous territory. I know a number of alcoholics and washed up people who used alchohol as a substitute for confidence.

And it's going to get even worse when you start getting a beer gut and your fitness starts flagging.

I can totally relate as I used to feel the same way. In fact, I used to have serious phobias and severe insecurity issues about socialising and alcohol would've helped, but knowing the consequences, I decided to push myself and develop natural confidence.

Like Shizz said, the gym is a great place to start. Not only does the physical improvement help, but you get a boost in testosterone which helps you feel more bold. Plus improving your fitness will put you in a better state of mind in general.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Alcohol is a anti-depressant. You might want to stay away from it for a while. Obviously, you don't remember to well all that you do when your drunk if you don't remember pushing your female cousin across the room. Luckily, that was your cousin or you could be in jail. You know how these broads are nowadays.

You need to go out and just talk to girls. If you never were good at it then you need to go out and practice until you get fairly good and comrfortable with it. You will get better within time. Your only 21. Remember a guy's game gets better as his age increases. You have plenty of time to get your game up.

As well, What do you have going for yourself? Seems like your confidence is lacking. Job, School.. anything? You might need to handle those parts of your life before focusing on females. Once you get these things settled you should get a little bit more confident. If you are a quality dude girls will eventually see that and they will want to mess with you.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

I think we're on the same page cause I feel a little bit socially anxious as well in sexual situations when I'm sober unless I know a chick's totally into me.. I can make eye contact with people and converse fine, but I'm to paranoid to try and sexually escalate with someone while sober.

It might just be the environment too.. I've been meaning to give this a shot and you should too. Go to a bar or party and don't drink. Or just drink a soda.. (The soda might help relieve the tension since it can easily be seen as a mixed drink amongst peers). If you still got it, then you're not relying on the booze, but the environment. Although, you did state that you have a drinking problem so it's most likely the two combined.

As for the drinking problem.. Attend some AA meetings, talk to a therapist, and just keep yourself away from that stuff.

As for the social anxiety situation.. This website actually HUGELY helped me overcome a lot of that. I used to be the guy at the party that just sat somewhere, drank, and talked to one friend all night. I was very introverted and solitary, gone through spans of 2 years not talking to any women sexually, I felt very depressed and felt my life was completely meaningless..

Then I came here and learned about approaching women, holding eye contact, having good posture and many more things.. Now I feel great in social environments buzzed or not. These ideas have not only helped me with game, but also helped me with job opportunities, going that extra mile to get a task done, and generally pushing myself harder.

With that being said, I wish you the best man. We all go through those motions of hard times, but you have the ability to overpower and overcome.. The question is, do you want to? It's up to you man! Keep your head up!

 

[Jack Wealthy]

Just socialize without it, approach to build up confidence. The reason your a pimp when you socialize drunk is because it is the only state you socialize in. Get used to talking without a buzz and eventually you will learn to be comfortable doing it. Quit drinking alcohol is a poison.

 

[BigJimbo]

Just booze it up. Don't get in a car though. Stay on solid ground and tip that bottle back to the liquor Gods! Larry Hagman went 50 plus years of drinking 7 or 8 bottle of champagne a day! Dude was an American icon. Never drunk, just a nice buzz. Yeah, of course he eventually lost his liver...BUT...he was old anyway.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNSONTCwQWA
Damn. That is so 1981! BIG D style.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omnH75XtVsU
Nice. People with money and power drink the hard stuff.

 

[Slick101]

I never drink, got drunk 2 times in my life, I never did drugs and Everyone in the club thinks Im either the most druged out or drunked out!

It needs to be in your personality,, You can have some shots to loosen you up... But every time you should decrease

Ex. (tuesday 4 shots) (thursday 3 shots) and so on!

Everntually you will be good... Talk to an ugly girl first,,, Warm yourself up to the HOT ones...

If you cant talk to an Ugly fat b*tch.... then you have ANOTHER problem ;-O

 

[ken chang]

No, Mr.Jibbles, you are not alone. Just wanted to let you know that. One of the ways this forum helps me a lot is when I read about other guys who went through the same thing I did. That's why I'm not against ranting.

However,...I am not an alcoholic. I don't even like alcohol that much. I like hanging out with people and a little alcohol loosens people up. I only need 1/2 or 1 bottle of beer to get my confidence up and I know my limits. I have never forgotten or regretted anything I did after drinking.

So if you need to drink, you have to at the very least know your limits. Just try slowing down when you drink. You really don't need to be the wasted guy to be the life of the party.

 

[Kenny Powers]

don't feel bad man, i am exactly the same way. When i get 6-8 drinks in me im a total g. I'll just do laps around a bar looking for girls to hit on and be a ****y fvck. the slvts love it. However when im sober at a bar im much less outgoing.

However, im able to be confident and socialize well when im sober, its just approaching i have difficulty with. Don't stop drinking because you'll start missing out on the party lifestyle, but try drinking less. I always try to find a happy medium where im not too beligerent but still have swagger.

Overall though I would try to work on your sober lifestyle. Confidence and good social skills are key factors to succeeding in life. If you have to, seek psychiatric help - nothing to be ashamed of, its extremely common and a good way to find out if you have any underlying issues e.g. like you said bi-polar disorder.

Know that there millions of young guys like yourself who utilize alcohol to boost their social skills (my roommate in college, a total pimp, would do a few shots before meeting with a girl, wouldn't get drunk just a small buzz to loosen him up). At the same time if you think its an issue I would cut back on the drinking

 

[SamTheHobit]

If you have the abillity to be drunk and get chicks you sure as hell have the abillity when sober. Alcohol is just a quick fix.

 

[corrector]

You should try pheromones -- specifically androstenol based -- (there is a line from androtics called Instant Shine, Instant Openness, and Instant Honesty) -- dial soap that is pheromone infused.

Whatever these substances have they will have the same effects of alcohol, but they will not impair your body system, cause liver damage, hangovers and the undesired effects that come with it. I think they are safer than pills or drugs.

I don't use pheromones myself, but tested them out before dismissing them...but you are free to test it out yourself and see if it's a good fit for you in terms of losing that incentive of using alcohol to change you to an extrovert.

 

[Bible_Belt]

No, Mr.Jibbles, you are not alone.

Indeed. Drunkenness is a very human condition.

If I opened a bar or club that didn't serve alcohol, nobody would come. The only non-alcohol clubs that survive usually have another basis in escapism, like doing ecstasy at a rave or having group sex in the back of a swinger club. The only place I know of where people sit around sober is church, and I think those old ladies are getting a chemical high off the service that is just another method of escapism.

In planning any event with people, booze is the most important aspect to get people to come. I can tell you from going to a lot of mma events that people would much rather stand outside in a bar parking lot than they would sit in a comfortable, air-conditioned school gym. The difference is being able to drink. Typically, we sell about the same dollar amount of tickets as we do booze. That means that, at least in monetary terms, being able to drink is just as important as being there.

None of this means that you have to be just like everyone else, but just realize that there's nothing especially abnormal about you.

 

[jake101]

Even i was in need of alcohol when meeting the girls, I was not having enough confidence in meeting the girls with out drinking, But to be frank it ruined my life.At fist I thought that it was cool to drink and meet girls to tell the truth most of the girls don't like the guys who booze around , I think you have to have enough confidence in your self and be your self ,That is the key for getting girls, If you need to quit drinking make yourself small goal of not to drink once you succeeded in not drinking for a short period of time extend your goal for a longer period.You could get more quit drinking tips in here .How do i quit drinking alcohol

 

[Deep Dish]

corrector:
You should try pheromones -- specifically androstenol based -- (there is a line from androtics called Instant Shine, Instant Openness, and Instant Honesty) -- dial soap that is pheromone infused.

Whatever these substances have they will have the same effects of alcohol, but they will not impair your body system, cause liver damage, hangovers and the undesired effects that come with it. I think they are safer than pills or drugs.

Why not pot?

In low moderate doses, marijuana is an anti-depressant and helps calm social anxieties; smoking pot with friends is a communal experience and facilitates social bonding. One thing which most people will never understand is how, when done right, drugs can help people learn more about themselves. Marijuana pertains particular importance to MrJibbles because scientific studies published in Harm Reduction journals have established marijuana to be an “exit drug” away from harder drugs like alcohol; alcoholics perform equally if not better in treatment if they smoke pot. Marijuana is neuroprotective against brain damage from alcohol and helps regulate the balance of neurotransmitters; it is a treatment for bipolar disorder. While it may be a “crutch” to use drugs, people walk on crutches for a reason—for transition.

 

[Maxtro]

Woah, alcohol can change you that much?

I'm wondering if I should go to a bar or club, get drunk and see if I have any success. Going in sober obviously doesn't do anything for me.

 

[corrector]

Why not pot?

Pheromones are legal -- Instant Shine, which is a derivitive of androstenone when sprayed on, along with Openness and Honesty all slow your mind down so you can sort of chill out.

I find my mental speed is too high to function comfortably to socialize and the mind needs to sort of be in that frame that it can slow down, focus or zero-into lone-wolf women, or women that the blood chemistry vibe seems to mesh and focus on interactions there. Some women may also notice my blood chemistry is accentuated by the product and connect non-verbally to me.

The problem, as an introvert, is I need a certain comfort level to vibe with women, otherwise I'm nervy, uptight and convey nervousness, tension...this also comes from having a mental speed that is way out of synch with the social environment and I feel too overwhemled to feel comfortable interacting...I may worry what to say, how will she react, or just feel uncomfortable.

My positive experience with pheromones is it really enabled me to do that to some degree, or at least notice girls in the environment, and feel comfortable socialzing with them.

You can't really compare pot to pheromones. First of all, if you need a pheromone -- you spray it on you. For pot you have to smoke it. You can't do that if you need an instant boost right away so it's not realistic. Second, you don't have to worry about being arrested by police. For something that gives you some effects like pot, but is relatively inexpensive and easy to administer, pheromone products is still the best bet.

For personal reasons I've dismissed it for now. An experiment was done in the spring then I canned it. It had some side effects, and I think it's a bit of a cop-out too.

In low moderate doses, marijuana is an anti-depressant and helps calm social anxieties; smoking pot with friends is a communal experience and facilitates social bonding.

Again, that requires that everybody participates. If you are going to a church, your work-place, or a work social function, then that will be a failed strategy. It is impractical. A spray-on something sounds better if it provides instant results.

One thing which most people will never understand is how, when done right, drugs can help people learn more about themselves. Marijuana pertains particular importance to MrJibbles because scientific studies published in Harm Reduction journals have established marijuana to be an “exit drug” away from harder drugs like alcohol; alcoholics perform equally if not better in treatment if they smoke pot. Marijuana is neuroprotective against brain damage from alcohol and helps regulate the balance of neurotransmitters; it is a treatment for bipolar disorder. While it may be a “crutch” to use drugs, people walk on crutches for a reason—for transition.

Pheromones also regulate nerotransmitters as well. The pheromones I enjoyed were the ones that made me feel like a high --like the sun was shining on me on a cloudy day inside my mind. Again, the experiments with these mones have stopped, but I'd say that whatever good effects you get with weed you get with mones. Mones are cheaper, legal, and more conveniant and easy to administer than weed.

I've never smoked weed, and never plan to put something like that into my system. I've tried perfume and cologne and aromatic compounds both are pleasant smelling and could produce different effects. Everybody on here has probably smelled a perfume of some sort. Pheromones is more like a perfume in format so you can't go wrong.

Again, I'm not a spokes-person for pheromones...in fact, I'm banned from one of their boards for being critical about it...so, if a banned critic is saying good stuff about it on this board, then it has to have some benefit. You may not get a girlfriend out of it, or get laid, but you should feel more in synch to socialized if you use the right mones... I definately think weed is a bad idea.

 

[3countriesPlan]

Boozing it up is cool, noone likes the "friend" who pretends to be above alcohol and never buys a drink at the bar cause he is too cheap.. nothing wrong with OP having a buzz as long as he takes the day 2s out sober and does the rest of the macking process in a sober state... keep to one night a week at the bar and make sure to cultivate healthy habits so your personal identity will clash with alcohol.. keeps you away from alcoholism

 

[mocha2010]

I have realized that I need alcohol not just to socialize at parties, but to get girls in general. If I am not buzzed or drunk, I am a socially-awkward, socially-anxious, boring, neurotic, depressed pissed-off withdrawn introvert. When I've had a few drinks though, I become the life of the party. I start talking to everybody, hit on girls, and become a manic, ultra-confident sleazebag player. I will admit, I have a drinking problem. I promised to quit drinking for a month, then got back into it a few days before Christmas.

Since then, I have gotten drunk at parties every night until today. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I have bipolar disorder. My cousin told me that a party a couple nights ago, I started throwing the cards from my wallet around the room, pushed my female cousin really hard across the room, started walking in out of one room over and over again and was talking really fast to myself... Later I hit on my cousin's friend and basically made her fall in love me. I would never been able to accomplish that If I wasn't drunk.

About a week ago, I was lonely, miserable and mad at myself because I had trouble holding conversations with people and couldn't get myself to go out and get girls. Now that I have been drunk a lot though and gained confidence because of it, I can easily seduce girls. I know of at least four girls who are in love with me now. But now that I am sober, I have no idea how to talk to girls.

I am just wondering, am I the only person who NEEDS booze to talk to girls? How can I quit drinking if I need it to get female attention? My personality is boring without it. I like being a high-energy extrovert. It's the only way for me to be the player I want to become. It's the only way for me to be charming to people and make friends.

If you need to drink to get women, you are not going to end up with the "good girls"
Good girls from classy homes do not like drunkards for boyfriends and they dont like hanging out in bars. Go to church.