I need advices for this girl

gewadapa

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I would like to share this case and collect your advices.

I met a girl at uni. Since the beginning, we started to have a good connection and good vibes. Then, she started to give me attention (IOI).

During the following weeks, I tried to escalate twice (two different days) for a kiss, but she temporized (and wanted to take her time). By text, the interaction was bad - cute messages, but her reactivity was poor. So, I started to give her less attention.

Three weeks after, during a party with other friends, she complained to me that I didn't date her, and she was a bit jealous of another girl. Then, a few days later, I dated her - I kissed her, and she texted me to thank our moment. One week later, we dated once more - same story - I kissed her, and she texted me to thank our moment. This night, she told me to meet her at her place three days later.

The D-date came, and I texted her to meet her. But, she told me that she wanted to attend a conference. So I felt like **** because I was expecting meeting her this night. What I've done wrong ? I was thinking doing well - almost in the 7h rule (mystery method).

I hear that I have a scavenger reputation and she is doing the hard girl (taking her time). Do you guys know what is the message behind this ..? Is she meeting other guys ?

What should I do ? Punish/ignore her ?

Important note : The two dates were after uni, organized and occurred in the same day. I feel that is hard to date her by message or without seeing her. Does she need to feel me to desire me ?
 

Plinco

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Don't take her too seriously and see other women. Talk to her as long as you and her want to. You can't force a relationship to happen, you have to let it happen by you being you and her being her. Don't take her rejection personally.

In other words, what I am advising you to do is to change your mindset.
 

Clockwerk50

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Who knows why this is happening. It could be that she isn’t attracted to you, that you’ve displayed anti-seductive tendencies during your dates (egotistical, rigid, cheap, awkward, overly sensitive, etc.), your competition is simply ahead of you, or other factors in play that it is beyond the scope of this post. As the principle goes, the more obviously you pursue someone, the more likely you are to push them away. With that in mind, I usually ask: Is there really much you can do?

Consider talking to more women and engaging with them. Each interaction will help you gain experience and practice. One social or romantic success can make the next one easier, building your confidence and making you more alluring.
 

Divorced w 3

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I have a problem with rejection too but as hard as it is for deadly good looking men like us to fathom, sometimes she just ain’t into you.

I think on a level she definitely had interest but I think you gave her a little too serious of a tone. A little laid back, funny c0cky banter, ie just believing you’re the man so to speak, would have been a little better. Just be a little less serious. You’re definitely a great relationship guy, I can tell you that. You listen, care and are very respectful. It’s just that early stage where it’s butterfly/ spark type of fun you want to work on a bit. I would much rather be how you are, and work on the intro, then be great at short term and have no deeper bonding ability. You should feel comfortable telling a woman within five minutes of meeting her (if not sooner) that you’re going to have sex with her. You want to work on that and then you’re golden.

I hate to say it but Trump was right with that grab them by the pvssy line, go find it. Obviously don’t do anything that’s rejected so no assault, but the sentiment is on the mark. Try to find some of the banter between CatsMeow and me. That’s how it’s done.
 
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The Duke

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Her interest level isn't where it needs to be. She got reinvested when she learned about the other girl and became jealous. This is pretty typical behavior from these types of personalities.

If you keep trying to excite her interest you will keep getting mixed results and grow frustrated. She'll keep playing games her silly hot/cold games. You will have to play more mental games than her. It could lead to sex, but probably not. ONe thing for sure is It won't last, and the amount of work it takes won't be worth it.

I'd recommend you spend your time pursuing other women that show greater interest. A woman with high interest doesn't play games and won't leave you confused.
 

Doctor Doom

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“But, she told me that she wanted to attend a conference.”

I’m in the minority but, I implement the One Strike Rule. A chick pulls a stunt like this chick you dated pulled, she’s out of here.

Majority may say only date her again if she initiates contact or keep her on the back burner as a last option. Again though, I loathe my time being wasted.
 

gewadapa

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Thanks for your feedbacks, guys.
Hard to assume, but you're definitely right! The worse part is that I don't know what I've done wrong..

I have some news about the woman:
She just texted one of my friends to date him. He learnt (by another friend) that I had stuff with her.
Hopefully, he's my bro, and he texted me telling that they'll meet. I asked him to cancel the date (good decision?).
What the hell is she playing ? I'm almost sure that she knows that he's my friend.

Guys, what are your thoughts about that ? Actually, my mind is changing, I see her differently and I want a revenge.. Knowing that I'll see her frequently during my courses. How should I react to that ? How should be my behaviours ?


Following your recommendations, I got a date with another woman yesterday. Good feelings, we'll probably meet again. (Still not probable, but maybe the first girl knew that..?)

PS : I have friends (wingman) that can help me. I thought about a friend of mine mentioning my date in front of her (to make her jealous). Maybe it's too try hard ?
 
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The Duke

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Thanks for your feedbacks, guys.
Hard to assume, but you're definitely right! The worse part is that I don't know what I've done wrong..

I have some news about the woman:
She just texted one of my friends to date him. He learnt (by another friend) that I had stuff with her.
Hopefully, he's my bro, and he texted me telling that they'll meet. I asked him to cancel the date (good decision?).
What the hell is she playing ? I'm almost sure that she knows that he's my friend.

Guys, what are your thoughts about that ? Actually, my mind is changing, I see her differently and I want a revenge.. Knowing that I'll see her frequently during my courses. How should I react to that ? How should be my behaviours ?


Following your recommendations, I got a date with another woman yesterday. Good feelings, we'll probably meet again. (Still not probable, but maybe the first girl knew that..?)

PS : I have friends (wingman) that can help me. I thought about a friend of mine mentioning my date in front of her (to make her jealous). Maybe it's too try hard ?
Nothing changes. Same thing we all told you earlier. She still isn't interested in you. Move On. You wanting revenge and trying to incite jealousy is ridiculous.
 

RangerMIke

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Too focused on this one girl. She is not interested... move on and forget about her. It will mess up your chances with someone who is really into you.
 

Clockwerk50

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There is no point in looking for revenge when you weren't in a serious relationship with her to begin with. There's nothing that screams “insecurity” like getting your ego bruised by someone you barely know. It seems like you may have approached things too seriously, wanting to get married before intimacy, while she was looking for something more casual and sexual. No wonder she ran away.

If I were you, I’d try to be more mature about it. If you see her, you don’t need to go out of your way to say hi, but if she reaches out, keep it polite. Detach yourself emotionally and mentally—understand that nothing may come of it.
 
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