The_Reaper
Senior Don Juan
This has everything to do with my relationships in life, and so I believe this forum is a good place to post this. I really need to break out of this mess I'm in, it affects everything in my life.
I am a mess. I'm going nowhere in the state I'm in.
I have psychological issues, but I can overcome them. My father is an alcoholic who wasn't around much when I was growing up, and to this day our communication is strained. His life is a complete mess, he lives in a broken-down ramshackle old house that stinks and is falling apart and is rat-infested and he doesn't give a sh*t, all he cares about is working for drink, and drinking to escape any kind of self reflection. Day in day out, purely sh*t existence. I am nothing like him, and I will never be like him. He almost destroyed my mother's life, but she broke free and divorced him, and moved to a small house where we now live.
But the big problem is physical: Since I was 13 I've had gyno (puffy, protruding glandular tissue under both nipples) amongst other physical problems, but this is the worst. This has been an ever-present depression in every aspect of my life, sometimes I'm fine (never truly "happy"), other times I get very, very low. It kills my confidence, though I do my best. I always read self help books, and I try to just say fck it, be a man, get on with life. But I've paid my dues, I've suffered, I don't deserve this ****, no one does.
I want to rise up out of this sh*tand build a good life for myself. But first, no matter what anyone says, it is absolutely essential to fix the physical problems. Gyno is so shameful, I could never bring myself to tell anyone in my family and I would be horrified if any of my friends found out.
But I don't have the money to get surgery. I have been saving for two years and have about half the money needed. I possibly could get a loan, but what reason would I give if they asked me why I need the money? I am so busy in my final year of college that I don't have time for a job to offer proof I can pay them back. That means more waiting, I guess. I've waited 8 years.
I am also too ashamed to visit my GP because if he knows, then it's possibly that word will get out. The idea of private data goes out the window when applied to the real world. I've been to a plastic surgeon about this, and we talked, but I was very unimpressed by their lack of understanding and experience with gynocomastia. I know fcking everything about gynocomastia by now.
When, when, when. I'm trapped in my thinking, I don't have concrete plans for this. That's all I can think of, fcking when will I do this? It's like a pain barrier, something you have to go through if you want the reward. It means going through acute embarrassment and shame, and I want to minimise this.
Has anyone here any experience with this and can offer advice?
It's nearly 7 am and I still have not slept, something's very wrong. so I will post this and go to bed.
I am a mess. I'm going nowhere in the state I'm in.
I have psychological issues, but I can overcome them. My father is an alcoholic who wasn't around much when I was growing up, and to this day our communication is strained. His life is a complete mess, he lives in a broken-down ramshackle old house that stinks and is falling apart and is rat-infested and he doesn't give a sh*t, all he cares about is working for drink, and drinking to escape any kind of self reflection. Day in day out, purely sh*t existence. I am nothing like him, and I will never be like him. He almost destroyed my mother's life, but she broke free and divorced him, and moved to a small house where we now live.
But the big problem is physical: Since I was 13 I've had gyno (puffy, protruding glandular tissue under both nipples) amongst other physical problems, but this is the worst. This has been an ever-present depression in every aspect of my life, sometimes I'm fine (never truly "happy"), other times I get very, very low. It kills my confidence, though I do my best. I always read self help books, and I try to just say fck it, be a man, get on with life. But I've paid my dues, I've suffered, I don't deserve this ****, no one does.
I want to rise up out of this sh*tand build a good life for myself. But first, no matter what anyone says, it is absolutely essential to fix the physical problems. Gyno is so shameful, I could never bring myself to tell anyone in my family and I would be horrified if any of my friends found out.
But I don't have the money to get surgery. I have been saving for two years and have about half the money needed. I possibly could get a loan, but what reason would I give if they asked me why I need the money? I am so busy in my final year of college that I don't have time for a job to offer proof I can pay them back. That means more waiting, I guess. I've waited 8 years.
I am also too ashamed to visit my GP because if he knows, then it's possibly that word will get out. The idea of private data goes out the window when applied to the real world. I've been to a plastic surgeon about this, and we talked, but I was very unimpressed by their lack of understanding and experience with gynocomastia. I know fcking everything about gynocomastia by now.
When, when, when. I'm trapped in my thinking, I don't have concrete plans for this. That's all I can think of, fcking when will I do this? It's like a pain barrier, something you have to go through if you want the reward. It means going through acute embarrassment and shame, and I want to minimise this.
Has anyone here any experience with this and can offer advice?
It's nearly 7 am and I still have not slept, something's very wrong. so I will post this and go to bed.