I Need Advice Guys!

[gixxer]

LONG POST...........

I don't know how this thread turned into a debate

Any dumbass knows you don't step into a girl's reality on the first friggin date. If you're David D you might pull it off but other than that you're asking for trouble.

Here's my post from a while back on what happened to me in a similar situation. ONLY BAD THINGS CAN HAPPEN IN THESE SITUATIONS. YOU WILL ONLY BE $HIT TESTED IF YOU GO.

And, yeah, flaking on a girl will ONLY make her want you more........

Here's the post:

So I had been seeing this girl from match.com for a few weeks. We clicked right away. Everthing was great. She was always asking when she could see me again, calling me all the time, sending emails and text messages. Just all over me and very affectionate without being smoothering or psycho. Basically, it seemed like we were going to do really well together. We had a lot of fun every time we went out and everything was just flowing - ENTER THE $HIT TEST...........

She had mentioned a bunch of times how important it was that anyone she was with had to get along with her friends. Fine I thought - that's logical. She had also mentioned that her friends were "very tough" on her boyfriends and that they were very protective. I foolishly made light of this warning to myself.

So long story short, we met one of the couples she's friends with out at a bar in New Haven. I was VERY under dressed for the place despite the fact that I asked her what kind of place and what was appropriate to wear. I'm going to let that rest even though I wonder if it was an accident. She had been there before too. Anyway......

So female of the couple meets me and immediately starts acting weird. Fluttering her eyes at me, strange smile, mis-interpreting things I'm saying. I kept going and just tried to make the best of things. Talked to her boyfriend a bit. He was really standoffish and the conversation was strained.

Then the friend (who owns an upscale boutique) tells me I need to come down to her store THIS WEEK and she'll show me all the things my girlfriend wants so I can buy them for her. I was sort of taken back and got a little annoyed and said "I don't buy gifts for women" (I know, not the best thing to say and I could have done much better and I regret it) So the friend is like "no gifts?!?!?!" and then starts going on and we end up getting into a verbal sparring match. She also implied that maybe I couldn't afford to buy the gifts and maybe that was the problem. Then my girlfriend gets between us and yells at ME and threatens to leave me at the bar and make me walk home, etc, etc..........

we drive home and on the way my girlfriend tells me she loves me FOR THE FIRST TIME (not sure what that was about) Get home and everything is strained and weird and she has a headache and then wants to cuddle. Then we start arguing and she says "if it makes you feel any better no one has ever passed "the test"

The next day on the phone she says her friend is really pissed and her other friend who heard about it is pissed and is going to give me an "ever harder" time when she meets me. She then tells me that if I can't get along with her friends it's a "deal breaker" I spent the rest of the day really upset and angry and made up my mind to end things that night. And I did. It killed me to do because I really liked her but I DUMPED THE B!TCH THE NEXT DAY.

 

[solace]

Originally posted by ( . )( . )
Well fvck off then, thats the problem with this place, no sense of community anymore and all this "grey area" bullsh!t advice.

There, there. Don't cry Titmeister. You call my first response "no sense of community." All I can do is give my advice then I don't care what you do with it afterwards.

1150 posts and still learning, are you? Maybe is because you over analyze too much. Women and men getting together is a natural thing. It is not calculus.

 

[gixxer]

This forum is starting to suck

This thread was good for a while. I can't believe this is being debated. This is insane

gixx

 

[crowes22]

Originally posted by Wyldfire


Again...actually meeting up with her wasn't the issue...it was the fact that he told her he would either meet her or call her. He did neither. He flaked and didn't follow through with what he said he was going to do.

Geez meeting up IS the issue, or was, til you hijacked this thread.
Oh yea, I don't recall seeing where he said he didn't call either, nor any of us advising that. It doesn't matter anyway.

WF you seem to be trying to implement DJ tactics from a woman's perspective, you think you can apply them, and therefore advise. I am seeing it as what it is, a fvcking joke. It doesn't work for women! What works for women, is being feminine, and knowing what that entails, but you must practice what you preach, very rare w/ young women these days. VERY RARE.

BTW, I have 'flaked', like you said w/ a girl for a little over 3 years, yea the same HB, and she was obsessed, because I was not. So don't spout that BS.

 

[MrLuvr]

Another thread spoilt by the psycho Wyldfyre.

Why the HELL is she allowed to post in here??!!!!!!!!

Go to the main forum or something.

The mature men don't need advice from a menopausal 40 year old, lonely, desperate woman.

GET OUT!

 

[Lost In Translation]

Quote : ( . )( . )
Well fvck off then, thats the problem with this place, no sense of community anymore and all this "grey area" bullsh!t advice.

WORD


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[Paradox]

Originally posted by MrLuvr
Another thread spoilt by the psycho Wyldfyre.

Why the HELL is she allowed to post in here??!!!!!!!!

Go to the main forum or something.

The mature men don't need advice from a menopausal 40 year old, lonely, desperate woman.

GET OUT!

If you don't like her advice feel free to bash it. But, you shouldn't feel free to bash the person. Got it?

I agree with you guys that wyld's opinion on this matter is way off.

 

[Squid]

Originally posted by crowes22
I agree Wyld ruined this thread w/ that stupid advice. To the clowns that agree w/ her........you obviously have never been in this situation, or you would know what this girl proposed is an absolute recipe for disaster. I hope Dax didn't cave and give in.

Dude, like I said before, it all depends on how much she is in to you and how good your game is. If you're game is good then this is an ideal situation, if there is any doubt then avoid it. Being a DJ is about taking challenges and overcoming your doubts. This is a great situation to do that, who cares if your $hit tested, who cares if it doesn't work out, your that much wiser for the next time.

I HAVE been in this situation, a chick I had just met invited me out with her work crew so I went. I don't have trouble meeting new people in a social atmosphere so by the end of the night I was planning to play touch football with the guys the next day, the girls thought I was the cats a$$ and the chick was proud as h@ll that I was her date.

Guys, this should not be about worrying about being pulled into a test or who has the advantage at what social outing, it shouldn't matter, nomatter what the situation the dj will make it his advantage. You all need to relax, quit worrying, and roll with the punches when they come.

If you are that worried about it being an extremely difficult situation, then all the more reason to go, once you crash and burn a few times you realize it's not a big deal, and you will have that valuable experience for the next time.

 

[SAYNO]

Originally posted by Paradox
I agree with you guys that wyld's opinion on this matter is way off.

Bingo!

 

[speedo_meme]

ok just so you all know, tit guy ( . Y . ) is the smartest guy here....

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Paradox
If you don't like her advice feel free to bash it. But, you shouldn't feel free to bash the person. Got it?

I agree with you guys that wyld's opinion on this matter is way off.

I'm going to try to clarify one last time. For starters I don't think he should have told her he might meet up with her later and that he'd call her after he worked out to let her know if he would come or not. Ironically...MANY of the guys on this site have historically said not to say you're going to call at a certain time UNLESS you are sure you're going to follow through. There is a reason for that. A man who has his sh*t together backs up what he says. If he says he's going to do something, he does it. You HAVE to establish that early, especially with younger women because it sets GROUND RULES. If you don't follow through with what you say if she does something you don't like and you tell her not to do it again she is NOT going to respect or believe you because you've already established that you do NOT mean what you say by flaking. The only women who will tolerate flaking from a guy is a drama queen who is going to eat up any chance to suck the life right out of you.

Seriously, you guys have GOT to find some consistency here. On one hand you tell each other to NEXT the troublesome females and rant incessantly about all the stunts these women/girls pull. But then you turn right around and encourage them to behave exactly the way you claim to not want to deal with. And lo and behold,, those troublesome females are the very ones you guys end up going after 9 times out of 10. And you wonder why there are so many sob stories on here...good grief.

Either you guys are weeding out low quality females or you are attempting to attract low quality females. It can't be both ways. Although you guys SAY you won't and don't deal with biotches....those are the very women you're so obviously looking for when you show such a complete and utter lack of the most basic of common courtesy and respect. No self-respecting woman would put up with a lot of the crap the guys on here swear by. That stuff will pull girls you can't respect because they don't even respect themselves.

Sometimes I really wish that you guys could be a fly on the wall here and see just how badly your behavior and beliefs contradict what you claim to be pursuing.

Now about the guy who started this thread...if he had paid any attention to the "rules" he would have KNOWN not to even tentatively agree to meeting up with her while she was out with all her friends. THAT is what you guys were against him doing...and that is NOT what I disagreed with. I disagreed only with him making those tentative plans and promising a phone call later after he worked out and then not following through with what he said he would do. That makes a guy look weak and indecisive...both feminine qualities. As a man, you don't want any feminine qualities to stand out like that.

 

[Paradox]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
If he says he's going to do something, he does it. You HAVE to establish that early, especially with younger women because it sets GROUND RULES.

Wrong. I couldn't tell you how many times I've told a woman I would call her....ect. The women would just stick in there. Why? Because I'm money...

Originally posted by Wyldfire
If you don't follow through with what you say if she does something you don't like and you tell her not to do it again she is NOT going to respect or believe you because you've already established that you do NOT mean what you say by flaking.

True.

Originally posted by Wyldfire
The only women who will tolerate flaking from a guy is a drama queen who is going to eat up any chance to suck the life right out of you.

False.

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Seriously, you guys have GOT to find some consistency here. On one hand you tell each other to NEXT the troublesome females and rant incessantly about all the stunts these women/girls pull. But then you turn right around and encourage them to behave exactly the way you claim to not want to deal with. And lo and behold,, those troublesome females are the very ones you guys end up going after 9 times out of 10. And you wonder why there are so many sob stories on here...good grief.

Part of the nature of being a woman is Flakiness. Women often can't make up their minds. That's not our fault. Sometimes a man can have a good 1st date and then get shot down for no reason. I have a female friend who told me this story: She met a man at a club and had a great time. They exchanged numbers. He called her the next day but she never returned his call. "Why?" I asked. She said when she got up the next day she thought about it and decided that he wasn't that great. She enjoyed herself and his company but the next morning she changes her mind.

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Either you guys are weeding out low quality females or you are attempting to attract low quality females. It can't be both ways. Although you guys SAY you won't and don't deal with biotches....those are the very women you're so obviously looking for when you show such a complete and utter lack of the most basic of common courtesy and respect. No self-respecting woman would put up with a lot of the crap the guys on here swear by. That stuff will pull girls you can't respect because they don't even respect themselves.

Wrong, wrong.

Originally posted by Wyldfire

Now about the guy who started this thread...if he had paid any attention to the "rules" he would have KNOWN not to even tentatively agree to meeting up with her while she was out with all her friends. THAT is what you guys were against him doing...and that is NOT what I disagreed with. I disagreed only with him making those tentative plans and promising a phone call later after he worked out and then not following through with what he said he would do. That makes a guy look weak and indecisive...both feminine qualities. As a man, you don't want any feminine qualities to stand out like that.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. Of course this is all your point of view. but I disagree with most of it. We don't have to play by your rules.

 

[Wyldfire]

Paradox...the waitress went out with her friends and co-workers. She told them all this guy was going to come meet up with her and call her. She waited in front of her friends and he never called. She got annoyed over it and all those friends spent the rest of the night talking badly about this guy who never showed up and dissed their friend. Any interest she had in him is gone now because all of her friends effectively c*ckblocked him without him even being there. She might still go out with him...but it will only be to get his hopes up and then pull the rug out from under him. If he said he was going to call her that night he should have called her and told her he couldn't make it and that he would call her another time.

I recently waitressed for a little over 2 years. I have seen this scenario play out dozens of times with co-workers I used to go to bars and clubs to hang out with. If a guy flakes on a girl who is in a group of girls...that group will tear him to shreds.

He really should have followed through with the call (only because he said he would) and said he couldn't make it and would call her another time.

I never told anyone they had to "play by my rules". My first post pointed out that he made a mistake by telling her he would call and maybe meet up with her that night and that by not doing as he said he would do...he flaked. If she really liked him she might tolerate that if he gave her a convincing enough reason...IF she were not out with a group of friends and co-workers who almost certainly ripped him to shreds for not calling or showing up. He flaked on her in front of her friends and co-workers. They all already don't like him. His chances of getting anywhere with this girl now is next to none.

 

[speedo_meme]

for one, he didn't tell her he was coming, he said maybe he would call......dax, forget all this other crap and call her in a few days and set up a one on one date.....wyldfire, you're off the mark here......

 

[SAYNO]

Originally posted by Paradox

Wrong, wrong, wrong. Of course this is all your point of view. but I disagree with most of it. We don't have to play by your rules. [/B]

Bingo! finally a moderater with some balls, cuz this is getting to be sicking.


Sayno'

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by SAYNO
Bingo! finally a moderater with some balls

No a moderator with balls would put a stop to this twaddle. This sh!t is still being entertained and all weve really done is just gone a full circle and given this woman a platform to continue the drivel .

Maybe even a short message in her inbox like :

Lady, go crazy and knock yourself out in all the other forums, but as for the mature forum you can obviously see its not really working out for you is it? I think its clear what I'm trying to say here.

Thankyou

It's not that hard.

 

[Paradox]

Yes you are right tits. Let's get back to the posters problem/question.

Post away.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by Paradox
Yes you are right tits. Let's get back to the posters problem/question.

Posters question was already answered, it was done and dusted ages ago, but then contrary advice came along that totally blew any real advice he got out of the water.

So now we would only be pissing in the wind to continue this train wreck.

 

[dax]

Dude....chill....I took Crowes advice,....and played it cool...and I called her tonight...and she was blowin' up my phone....so yo....everyone thanx...but listen...I'm not takin this **** too seriously...I'm just a student from the game tryin' to learn...appreciate it ............!

 

[dax]

We got a date set, tonight, going bowling and drinks...looks like Crowes nailed it....everybody in here I really appreciate the advice...from all sides of the spectrum...that's what this place is: a community to give advice, debate and share ideas about what seems to work, what doesn't,... its fun... I use this forum because I was married for 6 years and haven't been in the dating game long...ya know?