I need a life (career? money? etc)

[returningchamp]

I'm f'ing unbelieveable... when i sit down and look at my life - I feel foolish...

- I never took high school serious
- I went to college for 2 semesters before falling in love with girl #1..
- Girl #1 became so much apart of my life - that i moved in with her and we got an apartment. I could no longer afford to go to college.
- She continued to go to college because her parents paid for her.
- I instead pursued a music career that ended up being a 6 year journey of failure... I held down small jobs... etc...
- Girl #1 told me once she graduated college and got a good paying job - she'd PAY to go to college... this was the plan all along - when she finally graduated and got a good job - she cut me off!!! This is what the fvck I get for believing this girl, letting her control the money in the relationship, and dropping out of college essentially so i could live with her...
- My whole rel with girl #1 lasted 4 years... just long enough for her to make it in life and leave me behind (my own fault)....

- Girl #2 comes into my life...
- Left her rich boyfriend for me... says money doesn't matter...
- A year later - she's leaving me because i have no money... im not driven in life... im not successful when most guys my age (28) have already found their way...

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I'm posting this here rather than the other board because i think most of you on this board have already had success business/money wise in life...

i need some hope.... i plan to go back to college (i have financial aid now)... but i'm going to be 32 when i graduate... i can't decide what i want to go for because im good at so many things... career counselor at my college says "do what you want to do"... great advice! lol

i also can't decide what to do in the mean time... to make money... besides work 2-3 jobs that pay 10-12/hr... and have no life...

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im also conflicted now because i posted something similar to this on craigslist and almost everyone said it'd be better to get a trade at thsi point in my life rather than go back to school... they said plumbing and then 10 years down the line start my own business... this was criagslist though... so i don't know how reliable that is...

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sorry if i sound lost... i am! and im dieing trying to figure this all out... I'm not sure what a panic attack is... but i think im having one constantly... when i look back at my life IT PISSES ME OFF!!!! and girl #1 is successful now and im not...

 

[Bible_Belt]

A friend of mine is 27 and just enrolled in junior college to take his first college classes. He called me the other day, ranting about how he was surrounded by amazingly hot young girls. He could not believe it; he was like a kid in a toy store. By the way, none of those 19 y/o girls at JC are going to care that you don't have a great career, and they will think it was cool that you were in a band.

I have two college degrees. Neither one of them impresses me all that much. I don't even bother to hang them on the wall. Everything useful I got out of them is all in my head anyway, and a lot of it was the experiences with all of the girls I met along the way. I am a little jealous of my friend who is just starting out.

 

[returningchamp]

A friend of mine is 27 and just enrolled in junior college to take his first college classes. He called me the other day, ranting about how he was surrounded by amazingly hot young girls. He could not believe it; he was like a kid in a toy store. By the way, none of those 19 y/o girls at JC are going to care that you don't have a great career, and they will think it was cool that you were in a band.

I have two college degrees. Neither one of them impresses me all that much. I don't even bother to hang them on the wall. Everything useful I got out of them is all in my head anyway, and a lot of it was the experiences with all of the girls I met along the way. I am a little jealous of my friend who is just starting out.

yeah, im going to a community college as well... but it offers 4 year degrees in a lot of it's programs...

I agree with your friend though! lol... when i went and registered there was attractive women left and right... im 28, so when i go out it's to more mature places.... where the ratio of good looking women is quite low... yet, when i was at the college the few times i've been there the past few weeks - there was HBs everywhere! all looking nieve and easy. And i felt HUGE compared to most of the guys i saw walking around...

BUT im not going to get caught up in that right now. Pvssy is pretty easy to obtain for me... success is what i want now!

You did say something that hit a note with me... If i dated much younger women who hadn't had their life together - they'd be much more likely to overlook my lack of success....

i agree to an extent that a degree means nothing... i know some really "slow" people who have their masters... BUT it gets you in the door to jobs... when i look in the paper - almost every high paying job requires degrees OR loads of experience at something...

i took some test that was supposed to tell you what would be a good career choice for me... and it said a copywriter or a graphic designer.... i don't think either of those are lucrative businesses unless you're at the top of the top though....

 

[Monster]

How about learning a trade or something? Like you said college is four years and costs alot. I have two older cousins who were in situations similar to yours when they were in their late twenties. One became a cop and the other a mechanic. Both transitions took under two years.

*edit
oh I didn't read through your whole post, I see that I'm giving the same advice as the craigslist people

 

[bukowski_merit]

i'm kind of in the same boat... except i embrace it... and don't let women speak on my lack of success... i do what's called an "early frame announcement" on them and pretty much tell them this is the way i am, i will not change for you, but someday i'll change for myself...

currently im actually going through that change... im writing a novel, and getting involved in the sex industry (not as an actor, but as a peddler)... which considering going to the local tech-college and getting a degree in nuclear medicine... NONE of this is done to keep women in my life.... they stay for other reasons... it's done because i want to move into my own house (stop renting) and stop getting such damn headaches trying to keep my checkbook balanced.... living check to check takes guts and builds character.... but so does trying to trying to make it....

 

[bukowski_merit]

How about learning a trade or something? Like you said college is four years and costs alot. I have two older cousins who were in situations similar to yours when they were in their late twenties. One became a cop and the other a mechanic. Both transitions took under two years.

i thought cops don't make that much? even the chiefs of police only make 60k or something? which takes 20-30 years to get to.... guess it depends on where you're at....


but yeah, my uncle was a walk-on mechanic (no experience) from 25-35 for a local shop.... Now he's 55 and has owned his own shop since 35, and has a HUGE house, lives in florida for about half the year in his own house down there, and has a lot of money in the bank... on top of all this - he hasn't worked on a car in about 10 years.... i think he has it about right... learn a trade/job, get experience in it... then open your own business doing that and get others to work for you =)

 

[guru1000]

Let's start here, what is your target income?

 

[STR8UP]

NONE of this is done to keep women in my life.... they stay for other reasons

Almost everything you do is rooted in your desire to mate with the opposite sex.

The matrix would like you to think otherwise.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Almost everything you do is rooted in your desire to mate with the opposite sex.

The matrix would like you to think otherwise.

oh, im aware of the desire biologically to spread the genes... and everything on both sides of the sex train being rooted in that...

but, what i meant was - no particular woman in my life has said anything that has made me make this decision.... Living check to check is insanity... Having to take out payday loans which are almost impossible to pay back is insanity (i've stopped doing this one)... having expired tags for 8 months now because i can't afford the $400 to get the problem fixed to make my check engine light go off - is insanity! And i just want a little less insanity now.

so im doing what im doing now...

of course an effect of living a better life is the 4 women who currently see me as a FB/Lover - will begin to see me as a provider.... which should make some interesting things happen...

ps: in my nuclear med tech classes - there's 2 other guys besides me, and about 40 women... you can't imagine how much fun im having.

 

[forward]

I'd recommend researching entrepreneurship. You say you're "good at so many things" -- an ideal entrepreneurial type.

Is money & success(status) your only motivation? What if I offered you excellent pay to work a boring but comfortable job for the next 30 years, would you sign up?

You probably have more desires than simply money and success. Two of mine (which took years to determine) are:
1. Being interested and engaged in everything I do.
2. Feeling that I have an impact on society -- what I do matters -- I matter.

I haven't found a job that satisfies these desires -- even with my expensive (time-wise and financially) degree. Only in my own business have I began to feel the desires satisfied.

You can create the life you want. But you must create your own path to get there. I don't know what's best for you, but I recommend at least looking into entrepreneurship. Note that this path requires a time & money investment as well.

A good place to start is with a mindset shift (an entrepreneur thinks differently than a worker). A book I found enlightening back when I started:
Rich Dad, Poor Dad
by Robert Kyosaki
Not about starting a business, but rather a different way of thinking about money (the entrepreneurial way vs. the worker).
Also, Steve Pavlina has many postings describing the mindset -- he might be the best source I've come across for making the transition in thinking.

Best of luck in your Quest.

 

[search1ng]

What these guys have been saying + Drive. Honestly doesn't sound like you have much drive, but this is an online forum so it's hard to pick up on intuitive stuff like that.

 

[returningchamp]

Let's start here, what is your target income?

i make 27k right now, which i believe puts me just above the povery line.

i'd like to maybe double that... somewhere in the 45-55k area out of college (2-year or 4-year)...
with potential in 10 years or so to have doubled that...

While in college - i'd like to find something that pays around 35k... but when i look in the paper... it's like everything either pays $8-$10/hr... OR it pays A LOT and requires like 10 years of experience and/or a Degree.

I'd recommend researching entrepreneurship. You say you're "good at so many things" -- an ideal entrepreneurial type.

I've considered this. I have a friend who's starting a menu printing business, and he always seems to be enjoying his job... But he had a lot of money saved (200k) from working as a roofer for 10 years while still living with his parents the whole time. But im in extreme debt right, with horrible credit, now from trying to keep up with Girl #2 (stupid, i know). So i can't exactly start a business unless it was selling something that didn't required to be bought before it was sold.

But yes, I'm good at writing, I went to high school (vo-tech) for graphic design (logos, websites, photography), i went to college for 2 semesters for Business-Marketing, and learned a sh!t load about marketing through my music "career". I also learned how to network/connect via my music as well. I'm also very much into psychology.

So perhaps it wouldn't be a bad idea... But first - i think i should get out of debt first and save up some money with a respectable career to fall back on if i fail. Maybe, im wrong though.

What these guys have been saying + Drive. Honestly doesn't sound like you have much drive, but this is an online forum so it's hard to pick up on intuitive stuff like that.

I have drive now to be successful and make money. I can't live like this. I had to live with my aunt for 5 months at the beginning of this year; at 28 - that's humiliating.

I can't say that i have a drive to do anything inparticular, because i don't know what i want to do. I'm currently enrolled under "general studies"

 

[returningchamp]

You're right... that's not a good mindset to have...

I like your suggestions though and read your whole thread about living abroad... I like your mentality...

About www.globaltesol.com - their site says that a job is guarenteed. And the cost is about $1000 for the certificate.

Then im reading the FAQs and it says that you are responsible for finding your own job... Why says a job is guarenteed if you're not going to place the person in a job? I'm confused with that (and it reminds me of the ebooks that say "$500" a week guarenteed income, andthat guarentee is probably lived up for .5% of the people who read it).... Do you know anyone personally who has used them with success?

 

[forward]

I have many friends who've done the TESOL thing, and it went well for them. Last I heard (probably a couple years ago) it was pretty easy to get a job with it. And it could be good for you (a break from things, some new experiences, good to get out of a rut).

However, think about if this is what you really want. It's usually a pretty good time, but it seems to me (from observing my friends' experiences) that it's basically delaying the problem: You teach English for a year or two, and then when you decide you'd like something else, you're back in the same situation (though perhaps with some fresh perspectives and experience).

As for not having money to go the entrepreneurial route: you could look into more of a bootstrap business. There are people who have built extremely successful businesses out of less than $100 (though with significant time investment). The internet is of inestimable value as a tool to this end. I can't tell you what to do specifically; no one can. Read Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich", read a bit about bootstrap startups, and hopefully at some point when you're out for a walk or something an idea will appear to you and you can run with it.

Don't focus on making a living at first, just focus on making anything. Then focus on growing that small amount. You'll still need other lousy jobs as your business grows, but eventually it'll get there (or you'll figure out how to start a different one that gets there).

I've been working on my business for 3 years, and just now am finally able to make a living off it (though just barely -- working hard to keep it growing and avoid having to find some job). I'm fairly confident that I'll be doing very well for myself in a few more years as I continue to improve my business and, more importantly, myself.

 

[returningchamp]

Pretty awesome words man! I definitely am taking everything EVERYONE is saying in right now... I currently have $3000 debt in credit cards (7 $300 cards; 3 of which are severely over their limit aka: f'ing up my credit badly).... and $4000 remaining on my car loan... Im living very frugal since i've decided to make this change in my life (read some books/articles that suggested this) and have a plan in place to have all that debt gone completely by November. I'm going to go through this one semester of college and it will end about November as well. At that point - i WILL have a decision made.

In the mean time - i will read. And perhaps start a small business (most likely a "Basic HTML only" website/blog design business) to just get my feet wet and get extra income...

I defintely will be looking at "rich dad, poor dad" and "think and grow rich"... i guess i've shyed away from both because i used to work at amazon.com and saw these books constantly being bought and figured "if they were that good - everyone would be rich"... so i was staying away from them... but perhaps staying away from them has kept me from some answers... Will also look into some bootstrap things... I definitely know how to market with no budget.

I respect everyone for giving good responses, and not attacking my past and degrading it like some on some other boards have... And i definitely encourage more.

Oh and Fuzzx - I went to Puerto Vallarta's site, and that's some real good stuff! He was talking a lot about beliefs i already have about working for other people.

Oh and - where i currently work - i only actually work about 10 hours a week... and basically can be on the internet the other 30 hours (believe it or not - the supervisor is aware and doesn't care as long as i do my job as expected). I'd much rather be making money through a business during that time rather than browsing brainlessly through the torrent of sites i browse daily now (although recently - they've switched from music/sports type sites to business ones). So time right now - i have LOTS of.

 

[synergy1]

I defintely will be looking at "rich dad, poor dad" and "think and grow rich"... i guess i've shyed away from both because i used to work at amazon.com and saw these books constantly being bought and figured "if they were that good - everyone would be rich"... so i was staying away from them... but perhaps staying away from them has kept me from some answers... Will also look into some bootstrap things... I definitely know how to market with no budget.

You aren't missing much, Robert Kiyosaki is a fraud and his books ( the part I read) was horrendous. If you want to read for success, learn about how the markets work and read classics like "the Intelligent investor", or something.

 

[guru1000]

i make 27k right now, which i believe puts me just above the povery line.

i'd like to maybe double that... somewhere in the 45-55k area out of college (2-year or 4-year)...
with potential in 10 years or so to have doubled that...

While in college - i'd like to find something that pays around 35k... but when i look in the paper... it's like everything either pays $8-$10/hr... OR it pays A LOT and requires like 10 years of experience and/or a Degree.

A college diploma is not a requirement to success, you are. My income fluctuates between low to mid 6 figures, certainly not as a result of my college credits.

Do not use lack of education to justify your low income. It is a choice to work for $10 an hour, not a requirement. You can work in most sales jobs and produce a six figure income with the right training and motivation.

You are correct in stating you are at the bottom of the food chain. But this is not a result of your income but rather a belief of your self worth. Your income is a direct reflection of what you believe you can produce. I can take your exact position right now and produce a low 6 figure income this year without any liquidity at hand.

You MUST change your thought process and expand your paradigms. The old cliche "You must believe to achieve" is the common mantra of most successful people. Step out of your cage for a minute and think BIGGER. Are you the $10 an hour employee or a PRODUCER? This is the difference that makes the difference.

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

You aren't missing much, Robert Kiyosaki is a fraud and his books ( the part I read) was horrendous. If you want to read for success, learn about how the markets work and read classics like "the Intelligent investor", or something.

I disagree. The question of Kiyosaki being a fraud or not (I think he is) is irrelevant. Rich Dad Poor Dad is a good book to begin the journey out of the matrix.

It's the mindset that's important and Kiyosaky does an excellent job in setting the foundation for that mindset.

 

[OzyBoy]

Maybe i have been similar but i decided i just want to work(kept an open mind) and looking/experimenting with some other stuff on the side. So far so good, no debts, saving good money now :woo:

 

[joedmango]

At the Age of 32 it seems like that you have unfinished business in your life.Well Move on, Past is Past serves as a moral lesson. Go back to school. Money? The only thing i know, is why not try Making MOney Online, start a blog using free hosted blog, or if you can afford to buy own domain, then thats good. Start from their, Search on Google about Making Money Online Strategy. Give it a try. Be happy and Stay Positive.